


The Tease

by hinata22



Category: Naruto
Genre: M/M, Naruto as sex worker, Sasuke as rich arrogant businessman, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-11
Updated: 2018-12-13
Packaged: 2019-05-05 10:21:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 143,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14616288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hinata22/pseuds/hinata22
Summary: The first thing Sasuke said to the grinning blonde man was, 'I don't pay for sex.'The escort threw back his head in laughter, 'Let me guess! Because you think you're soooo hot you expect me to fall onto my knees and beg you to do anything you want to my body for absolutely no charge?'Sasuke's replied with one emotionless word, 'Yes.'





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, thank you so much for starting this story :) I've planned a few chapters and though things change once I begin writing I think it'll be a slow falling for each other story with a few misunderstandings (because that is how I seem to always write these guys!). I hope you enjoy and will keep reading.
> 
> You would not believe how much feedback inspires me and brightens up my day, so if you get a moment, please leave a comment, big weekend happy hugs x

Sasuke leafed through the thin file. Without looking up he said, ‘I trust I can contact you the usual way next time I need your particular skillset. But for now our business is concluded.’

 Suigetsu smiled his toothy smile and tilted his chair back onto two legs. ‘Sooo business over and time for pleasure to begin.’

Sasuke nodded towards the door for Suigetsu to leave his office.

Suigetsu continued to smile, his grin widened if anything. ‘Oh, you do not want me to leave yet. I’ve got news of something much more exciting than the info you asked for. There’s a power bottom in town that you’re going to want to play with. This is a _proper_ power bottom, I mean it this time, boss, no messing around.’

‘Hnnn.’ Sasuke gave the other man a brief glance.  ‘The only way you’d know that is if you’d sampled him, and perhaps you remember what happened last time you tried to get off by sharing a lover with me. If it’s somehow slipped your mind, I can remind you.’

Suigetsu laughed, and with credit to his boldness there was only a hint of audible nervousness. ‘That was in another lifetime, when I was young and foolish.’

‘It was eight months ago.’ Sasuke spoke absently, as a section of the information Suigetsu had provided him with caught his attention.

The man was almost annoyingly good. He discovered things that the people involved in had probably successfully obliterated from their memory. When they were teenagers Suigetsu had formed a stupid obsession with finding the world's most perfect pricks (Sasuke had had to be extra alert for a while to avoid a photo of him going into the man's collection), but who could’ve known that his adolescence perversion would continue into adulthood and lead him to become the best hacker/spy/detective Sasuke had ever encountered.

Suigestsu shrugged. ‘Eight months? Like I said, a lifetime ago. I’m so far past that phase it’s unbelievable. Now I survive your constant rejection of my body by being a small part of your sexual life…’

‘You are no part of my sexual life,’ Sasuke interrupted.

‘I know, I know, you don’t have to always remind me. It’s just my tiny fetish that doesn’t harm you at all, in fact it benefits you greatly. You hate wasting your time sifting through trash trying to find someone who is worth your time. And what am I better at than anyone else? Sifting through trash and discovering the gold…if there is any. Where’s that Uchiha logic your family is supposed to be famous for? We’re the perfect match, if you weren’t too proud to admit it.’

Sasuke let Suigetsu talk on. It was in truth a small price for the service he provided and they both knew it. Plus they had had variations of this conversation several times, and several times Sasuke had followed up on Suigetsu’s tips and been very satisfied with the outcome.

However, when Suigestsu began walking around the desk, Sasuke put his hand up in dismissal. ‘Enough. If you’ve found an impressive performer, amuse yourself with him, I’m too busy for distractions.’

‘You’ll be too busy for anything else once you see this _distraction_.’ Suigetsu dropped a phone on top of Sasuke’s desk.

A scene was already playing. It was a close up of a man’s hips hammering down with incredible speed as he rode an above average sized cock. Sasuke immediately tapped a finger out and paused it. He meant to make it even clearer to Suigetsu that he wasn’t interested in a hook up, but a strange inexplicable twinge had gone through his body when he touched the screen. His finger had by chance touched the curves of the man’s buttocks, but he was surprised that would create any reaction in him. True the man had an enticing ass shape, but Sasuke had touched beautiful men in real life and remained cold to them, why would inadvertently touching no more than an image on a cold screen have a physical effect on him?

He had no answer to his own question.  But instead of barking out an icy dismissal, Sasuke commanded, ‘Put it on the laptop. If you’re that desperate to show me something, show me properly.’

Suigetsu’s eyes sparkled.

Sasuke quickly added. ‘I am referring solely to the video clip, not any part of your body.’

With a dramatic sigh Suigetsu typed a couple of things into Sasuke’s laptop, clicked a couple of windows and there was the same bottom riding cock with an insatiable hunger.

‘See what I mean?’ Suigetsu said. ‘You ever seen that much energy before? This is the only film he’s done, I think it’s an advert for his escort service. He’s in high demand, booked up for months, but I know _you’d_ be able to get an appointment.’

Sasuke gazed fire at Suigetsu. Why was the man wasting his time like this, Suigetsu was well aware that Sasuke did not go near whores.

Then the camera panned out to show the whole man. His body was toned tanned muscles, a tattoo on his stomach, hair that was yellow, not blonde, but yellow, with his head and pubes both matching in that bright shade. But it was the face that made Sasuke bite his lip. The man had big blue eyes that looked wide and happy and genuine. Something deep inside Sasuke actually ached at the thought of those eyes gazing down at him as they made love.

Sasuke immediately corrected himself, when they _fucked._ What the hell was an archaic phrase such as ‘made love’ doing in his mind at all, especially when apprising someone who sold their body? Reminding himself that he was watching a prostitute who Suigetsu was recommending to him, made the inexplicable ache disappear. This yellow haired man obviously was skilled enough that he could act with his face as well as please with his body. When Sasuke met with him, he’d ensure it was clear that he wasn’t some pathetic creature who needed his ego rubbed with the pretence that the hooker was his friend. Obviously the man would enjoy their encounter, but they were fucking not becoming buddies who smiled at each other as if they’d known each other their whole lives. That ache returned as Sasuke’s gaze was drawn again to the way the yellowhead smiled down at his partner whose head was still out of shot.

Sasuke clicked the image away.

Suigetsu’s grin disappeared, he sighed dramatically. ‘I was really sure that you’d want this one, I’ve never seen someone who could fuck so hard. Guess I don’t know your tastes as well as I thought.’ The man finally traipsed across the room.

Suigetsu was halfway through the door before Sasuke said in a quiet but authoritative voice, ‘Get me a date.’


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you thank you for reading and for all the extra lovely people who leave kudos or comments. I have been ill while writing this chapter, really hoping it has turned out okay! I have written ill before and got nice feedback so hopefully my mushed brain hasn't made a mushy chapter....if it has let me know, I may cry a bit, but I'll get over it and try and improve!
> 
> This is Naruto and Sasuke's first 'date', and it is Naruto and Sasuke so obviously things don't go easy, but who wants easy, easy is boring :)

Sasuke stood on the landing of his mansion. It wasn’t somewhere he normally spent any time, in fact he wasn’t sure he’d ever really paused to look out of the floor to ceiling window before. Which was obviously remiss, it gave a good view across his long drive and at the big iron gates that guarded his property. He was standing alone here because he wanted to. It was peaceful, calming even, to contemplate his garden after a long week at work.

He was definitely not gazing out with an intensity that could melt metal because it was approximately seventy eight minutes past the time that Suigetsu said the escort would arrive.

His hand hovered over the pocket of his jeans to reach for his phone and check the texts from Suigetsu. He clenched his jaw. He was renowned by his allies and enemies alike for his sharp memory. He could recite figures from meetings months ago. He did _not_ have to reread any of the messages from Suigetsu to know when this supposed power bottom was supposed to be here.

Sasuke had never been stood up in his life. It wasn’t something that he could contemplate happening. This whole hook up had been unusual from the start. It had bemused Sasuke that it had taken Suigetsu, with all his infinite skills, weeks to organise a date for him with the video boy. If Sasuke decided he wanted someone he expected them to be naked in his bed within the hour. The only explanation was that Suigetsu had offended someone. His friend, if he could refer to Suigetsu in that manner, and maybe he’d earned the title just by the length of time they’d known each other, was undeniably tactless. His blunt manner got surprising results, but the yellow haired hooker (or his pimp) was obviously some delicate little creature who couldn’t deal with Suigetsu’s bulldozer approach.

Sasuke tapped his fingers against the window. Sasuke had no time for gentle personalities in his life, and he certainly didn’t want to have one in his bed. It was a relief the man hadn’t turned up, if he couldn’t deal with Suigetsu he definitely couldn’t deal with Sasuke.

Still Sasuke stared out of the window t. It was relaxing, calming. Sasuke’s tapping fingers turned into a fist knocking against the glass. While he’d waited for Suigetsu to chase the yellowhead down, Sasuke had got into the habit of watching the escort’s clip once…twice…thrice….several times a day.

The body was on point, absolutely perfect in every way. But as Suigetsu, and the _very_ small number of people who had his private phone number knew, Sasuke was more interested in performance than appearance.  And the boy could perform. The clip was a disappointingly short five minutes and segued together from a much longer session (even Suigetsu hadn’t been able to track the complete film down), but even in the short clip it was clear the yellowhead’s energy and enthusiasm never dropped.

Sasuke shook his head. Why was he still thinking about the weak loser who hadn’t even got the grace to say he’d changed his mind and wasn’t coming tonight? Aside from his cock, the man the whore had ‘power bottomed’ for had been very feminine in appearance, that had probably in contrast made the yellowhead look more masculine and controlling than he’d ever manage to be in reality with Sasuke. There was nothing for Sasuke to be disappointed about. Not that he was _disappointed_. The unfamiliar feeling in his stomach would no doubt disappear when he wanked himself off in the shower.

Sasuke turned his body away from the window, but his rebellious eyes remained fixed staring outside. And just before he managed to force his attention away something bright orange appeared outside the gates. Something bright orange with even brighter yellow hair. Something that was incapable of finding the simple intercom system in the wall and was instead shimmying up the metal gates and clambering over.

Heat rushed to Sasuke’s groin as he watched and contemplated the strength in the man’s thighs and upper body to so easily climb over the imposing gate. It didn’t abate as he looked at the yellowhead saunter down the drive as if it was him that owned the place.

Then the man spotted Sasuke staring down at him and waved with a huge grin on his face. His saunter turned into a jog.

An unfamilari sensation that Sasuke couldn’t identify took hold of Sasuke’s heart when the man’s blue eyes looked up and saw him. But Sasuke did recognise the excitement when the man suddenly sped up when he spied Sasuke waiting for him, as if he really wanted to meet him, it was a feeling he remembered from his childhood when his brother came home.

Quickly Sasuke walked away from the window, he checked his reflection in the long mirror above the stairs and cursed when he saw his cheeks were red. What the hell was going on with him that a stranger….a _prostitute_ …was having this effect on him? He’d got caught up at work and left it too long between fucks. He had incredible control compared to most people, but his skill was in knowing the limits and needs of his body. He should have dismissed all thoughts of this man when Suigetsu couldn’t get him immediately and sought relief from another reliable source.

But he hadn’t. He sighed. As an exercise in restraint he would tell this man that he was too late and was no longer needed. And in future he’d manage his own sex life and ignore all of Suigetsu’s recommendations.

Sasuke slowed his pace down the stairs as the loud insistent knocking started on his door. He paused considering whether to put the chain across before he answered, but decided that would make him look too defensive as if he was nervous of the hooker rather than just simply dismissing him.

He placed a small arrogant smile on his face, an expression he had perfected when he was still a teenager, and opened the door.

The man barrelled past him as if he hadn’t even noticed Sasuke’s icy aura and immediately started talking as if they’d met many times before and were old friends rather than two strangers, one of whom was buying sex off the other.

‘Sorry about being late, babes, although, yaknow, the day I’ve had, I don’t think this classes as being late. You wouldn’t believe it. I’m going to have to have a shower before we get down to anything, unless you’re into oil as lube.’ He chuckled as he held his hands up which were dripping with grease.

Though the display wasn’t necessary as close up the man was speckled over his face, hair and clothes with black marks.

Sasuke opened his mouth, but the millisecond pause of unusual indecision between whether to immediately order the man out of his home or first make it clear why no one in his whole life had ever addressed him as ‘babes’, was too long. The yellowhead continued chatting away in his loud voice.

‘My poor Toady, I did my best to get him working again, but in the end I had to abandon him or I really would have been late meeting you. Toady is my car by the way, he’s a VW Beatle, really beautiful, but, yaknow, the guy who owned him before me tried to do his own repaint job, it was supposed to be this amazing psychedelic green, but it ended up this ugly kind of pond brown colour with lots of specks of just mud brown. That’s why he’s called Toady. He’s really reliable normally, but you really live out in the sticks, and I got a bit lost and ended up off road driving which Toady doesn’t like. And it all went wrong. So, you going to lead the way to your bathroom, or shall I find my own way?’ He was silent for a beat, but Sasuke was staring open mouthed at this man he’d for some reason allowed into his home and wasn’t quick enough to reply and the yellowhead kept on speaking. ‘I’ll find my own way then, more fun that way, hey? I like exploring. You always find more interesting things than you were looking for. don’t you?’ His grin widened and he made for the stairs leaping up them two at a time leaving a trail of grime behind him.

Sasuke recovered enough to quickly follow him and keep pace.

As soon as he was by the other man’s side, the blonde took this as a sign to start talking again. ‘And I couldn’t like get in contact with anyone to cancel tonight when I had Toady to look after, because my friend fixed my phone for me this morning, and it was only when I checked it, yaknow after Toady gave up, that I realised it wasn’t fixed but more broken.  And all the details of where I was supposed to go were on my phone, but lucky you don’t have any neighbours so I took a guess that this was the right place, and there you were waiting for me so that was really cool. I’m glad you’re like one of those cool rich dudes who understand things, rather than those bastards who expect to click their fingers and the world spins, yaknow, especially with our first date and all, some jerks I’ve been set up with wouldn’t even let me in the door if I was a second late. Can you believe that?’

Sasuke looked at the mess of the man standing before him and was on the verge of stating that he envied those ‘jerks’ when the man opened the door they’d stopped in front of.

‘Ah, fuck, it is a bathroom. I was hoping for something more exciting, yaknow, your porn room. Because with a place this big you really gotta have yourself a special wank off room or I’m telling you plain all your money is wasted on you. You might as well donate it all to the depressed dog trust or something.’

Sasuke followed him into the small shower room he assigned to his least favourite family members when he was forced to endure their visits.

‘Wow, this place is massive,’ the man said looking around with wide eyed awe. ‘You could like have a party in here, or whatever you wanted, do you have parties in here?’ He laughed. ‘No, of course you don’t have parties in here. You should do though, that would be funny, the rest of your place empty and everyone squeezed in here. But anyway, tonight it’s just the two of us, so, yaknow, you want to tell me what you’re into and we can work out what we want to do together tonight. Mostly I like to let things go how they go, but this is our first time so we need to lay down boundaries, and you’ve gotta to let me know if you’re into freaky shit or whatever, because it’s a real boner killer when you think you’re going to get one thing and I have to stop you and tell you it ain’t happening.’  The man linked his hands behind his head, oblivious to the car grease he was running through his hair and stared around the room. ‘Though this bathroom is beautiful so if you’re happy to fuck in here, I’m totally down for that.’

The man finally stopped talking. All the many many statements he could make to this man now the foghorn blaring voice had stopped, and Sasuke at last had space to speak, swarmed through Sasuke’s head.

The first thing Sasuke said to the grinning blonde man was, 'I don't pay for sex.'

The escort threw back his head in laughter, 'Let me guess! Because you think you're soooo hot you expect me to fall onto my knees and beg you to do anything you want to my body for absolutely no charge?'

Sasuke's replied with one emotionless word, 'Yes.'

The man kept on laughing, leaning against the wall to support himself, leaving behind an oily handprint. ‘Ah, you’ve got to tell me, does that actually work? The whole macho dominant act? You bring a poor guy back to your big as fuck house and then tell him you’re not going to pay, and he’s like, oh no of course not, Master, whatever you say, Master, please please, let me have the great honour of licking your beautiful cock, Master?’ He put his hands together in mock pleading and laughed even harder.

‘You’re the first whore I’ve ever engaged with,’ Sasuke said coldly.

‘I’m your first _whore_?’ The man raised his eyebrows. ‘I am honoured, Gentle Sir, that you gave me your attention and chose little old me to take your whore virginity.’ He bowed and then laughed some more. ‘Hey, sweetie, your friend, Suigetsu, he worked really hard and was a right pain, but kinda funny, trying to get me to agree to meet you. But I’ve only fitted you in because my boss was desperate to get you as a client, going on and on and on about what an important guy you were and you’d bring in lots of other customers. I don’t know. My time is worth something, lots of people want me, but it’s you who’s got me right now.’ He shrugged. ‘If you’ve got any honour you’re going to pay for tonight, and it makes no odds to me if you pay to fuck me, or pay to watch me shower. I actually prefer the showering option as it’s easier. Plus this would normally be a proper date night rather than a fuck night as I’ve had to squeeze you in after a client who is an expert at fucking really hard, so like I say, good to have a rest.’ The man started to peel off his clothes and drop them onto the floor. ‘If you change your mind and decide you _do_ pay for sex though, feel free to let me know and I’ll make it work.’

The man’s eyes were sparkling with a clear challenge. Sasuke kept his gaze meeting the man’s, refusing to lower it to look at the revealed flesh.  Although that wasn’t as easy as it should have been. Across his whole life the only people who had ever made him lower his gaze were his father and his brother. This man was nothing like them, the exact opposite of them in personality, and his eyes were impossibly big and impossibly blue rather than the Uchiha near-black. But staring at him made Sasuke’s heart beat faster and made him feel younger and…vulnerable.

He clenched his jaw and spit the words out. ‘I won’t change my mind.’

The room was silent and Sasuke wasn’t sure if it felt impossibly large or too small as the other man stripped off in front of him.

When he was entirely naked, the man stood with his hands on his hips and faced Sasuke with that infuriating grin. As if there had been no break in the conversation, he said, ‘Oh you will, baby, you sooooo will.’

‘I am not your _baby_. If you need to address me as anything, you may call me by my name, Sasuke.’ A frown flittered across Sasuke’s face, he had meant to tell the idiot to call him Mr Uchiha, but different words slipped out.

The other’s man’s face relaxed into a warmer and sweeter smile. ‘Thanks. I saw it written down when, yaknow, I was researching you, but I wasn’t sure how to pronounce it, everyone just called you Mr Uchiha, but Sasuke is a nice name.’ His eyes dropped for a moment. ‘You’ve probably only seen my escort name, Nicky, right? But my real name is Naruto, if you want to call me anything.’

‘Naruto? As in…’

‘Yeah, I guess my parents liked Japanese food. Or just liked the sound of the word, or whatever. I don’t know, they died when I was too young to know them and…’ Naruto’s voice had softened like his face, but he cut himself off with a loud chuckle. ‘Sorry, what the hell am I talking about? It’s obviously been a long day, no John, especially Mr I-Don’t-Pay-For-Sex, wants to hear his _whore_ talk about a tragic childhood, does he?’ He mimed playing the violin. ‘You’d think I was new at this game, or something. I’ve got to really prove to you that I know what I am doing now to win our bet, don’t I?’ He gave a wink and stepped into the shower.

Sasuke, who was never uncertain what to say…was again uncertain what to say. Words had immediately appeared in his head: _No, you’re wrong, I do want to hear about your life_.

He bit his lip. He despised people who overshared. The details he gathered and remembered about people’s lives was to have a hold over them and to be able to manipulate them. There was absolutely no reason he needed to know anything about a common prostitute he’d hired for the night. He must never, ever, leave it so long between hook ups if this is what happened to him.

As he pondered Sasuke’s concentration had slipped and his eyes moved from Naruto’s face and automatically wandered down to the naked man’s body. Sasuke took a sharp intake of breath. That video had not done justice to him. Those awful clothes he’d worn had not done justice to him.

‘Fuck, Naruto…fuck.’ Sasuke looked into Naruto’s face again, his eyes wide with an appreciation that cut through his normal Uchiha mask of nonchalence.

Naruto blushed, gave an embarrassed chuckle, and rubbed the back of his head, looking like a teenager unaware yet of how hot he was, rather than a man who made a living from his body.

Lust, and an emotion he couldn’t identify, surged through Sasuke. Pride was forgotten, right now he’d pay ten times over to be balls deep in the blonde.

But then the other man recovered his composure and gave Sasuke a triumphant smile. ‘So that was easy then. I win.’ He stuck his tongue out and laughed. ‘If you’re as quick in bed as you are at changing your mind, this is going to be the simplest money I’ve made in a while.’

Pride was remembered. Sasuke glared at him. He’d get the fuck he wanted and needed, but he would not pay the jerk anything. 

‘Hnnnnn. I’ll remind you that you said that when you’re on your knees, ass in the air, squealing for me to fuck you all night long. Which for your information will be in approximately five minutes.’ Sasuke undressed quickly, but took time folding his clothes and placing them onto the laundry basket in the corner.

As Sasuke disrobed, the annoying blonde didn’t even glance his way. Instead Naruto stood to the side of the flow of water from the showerhead and poured almost a whole bottle of expensively scented shower gel that Sasuke imported from Italy over his body and hair. He proceeded to lather himself up into a mass of bubbles.  While he rubbed his hands over himself he made some sort of screeching howling noise that sounded to Sasuke like a fox in heat, but Sasuke guessed was supposed to be singing. The line ‘Girl, look at that body’ was repeated about a thousand times, interspersed with some duh duh duhs, a verse the blonde seemed to know,

When I walk in the spot this is what I see

Everybody stops and they staring at me  
I got passion in my pants and I ain't afraid to show it  
Show it, show it, show it  
I'm sexy and I know it  
I'm sexy and I know it

followed by more duh duh duhs, and a thousand more repetitions of ‘Girl, look at that body’.

Sasuke glanced at himself in the mirror and shook his head. He looked like himself, but what the hell was he doing with this creature in his house, let alone being filled with desire for him.

Naruto’s was moving his hips with far more rhythm than he was showing in his singing. Sasuke licked his lips and walked into the shower and stood in front of him.

Naruto beamed at him. ‘Tell me what you want and I’ll tell you how much it’ll cost.’

Sasuke snatched the shower gel out of the blonde’s hand. Or he meant to snatch it. His little finger brushed against the blonde’s first finger and they both froze for what seemed like a very long moment staring at each other, their lips parted and breathing deeply.

Finally Sasuke managed to recover and pull away. He squirted the remains of the gel onto his hand and rubbed it over his torso without looking at the man, the stranger, the whore, that he was having a shower with.

Obviously this idiotic escort was not the type to know when to let something pass though.

‘Wow! What was that? That was intense, wasn’t it? Like you barely touched me and it’s like electricity tingling all through my body. Electricity and water that’s supposed to be a bad match, isn’t it, but it’s feeling pretty amazing right now.’  He gave a couple of breathless laughs and then said in a louder voice. ‘So you convince me you’re not an arrogant bastard who expects me to work for free, then I’ll take back whatever I said about wanting you to be quick, and I think we can have ourselves a fun night.’

‘Do you have enough working brain cells to understand I am _not_ going to pay you for sex? That isn’t happening. What is happening here,’ Sasuke said, ‘is that you are going to beg me to fuck you.’

Naruto laughed in his face. ‘That would sound more convincing if you weren’t the one with the rock hard cock.’

Sasuke was all too aware of his own erection, but his eyebrows raised when he looked past Naruto’s soaped up abs and saw that the blonde’s penis hung there, impressive, thick and enticing, but undeniably soft. He had been in the situation many times when his lover came before him while he was still unsatisfied, but Sasuke had never experienced an occasion pre-sex when he was aroused and his partner wasn’t. He checked out what he could see of his own body, had he truly been so focused on work that he hadn’t noticed a slackening in his physique? No. He was perfect. What was going on here?

The infuriating man continued to laugh. ‘My brain cells work well enough to see that what is happening here is that you’re going to soon be begging to pay to fuck me.’ He moved his hand as if he was going to touch Sasuke’s erection and then stopped achingly close.

Sasuke made an awful sound that was horrendously close to a whimper.

The man stopped laughing and gave an almost shy smile. ‘Hey, yaknow, I don’t want to give you a hard time. Truly no pun intended. That’s not my job. I’ll be honest with you, I’d normally be out of here as soon as you said you weren’t going to pay, but there’s something about you that makes me want to…I don’t know.’ His brow creased up. ‘I guess be acknowledged by you….hell, I don’t even know what I mean by that.’ He grinned. ‘But, I’m happy, I’ve won, you clearly want me, so how about you just stick to paying the basic rate and anything extra you want to do I will give you for free.’

‘Hnnnnn.’ Sasuke’s grunt was as much aimed at himself for getting himself into this situation and remaining in it, as at the presumptions of this _hooker_ and the familiar way he’d spoken to Sasuke from the very moment that he arrived. ‘I have an erection because my body was primed to be expecting a professional this evening, and even though instead I’ve got a useless clown, I physically still want sex. Your presence is merely a coincidence. If you weren’t here I’d be hard. In your phrasing, I do not _acknowledge_ you.’

Naruto rolled his eyes. ‘You think you’re really something, don’t you?’

‘Yes. Because I am. My role in life is not to fuck people better and more successful than me.’

Naruto gave a hard laugh which was closer to a growl, but almost immediately he grinned again. ‘You just said you were expecting a professional…and you weren’t expecting to pay them? I’m normally a nice guy who doesn’t play games, I’m going to make an exception for you, _babes_.’ He began gyrating and turning his body with undeniable expertise.

Despite what Naruto claimed about this shower room being massive, it wasn’t. Yet Naruto moved with perfect precision, just as he had with his hand, sliding incredibly close to Sasuke but never once touching him.

‘Just so you know, bastard,’ Naruto’s voice deepened, making _bastard_ sound like a sensuous name, ‘I’ve never done this before. When I dance for someone we’ve both known at some point it’s going to end with my ass spread for them and me taking a deliciously hard, long fucking. But especially for you, for one night only, I am going to be nothing but a tease, a sexy, frustrating, little bitch of a cocktease.’ 

The yellowhead turned his back to Sasuke and rippled his buttocks millimetres away from the tip of Sasuke’s prick.

Sasuke cursed under his breath. He couldn’t help contemplating just grabbing the man’s hips and pounding roughly into him. He pretended to be entirely focused on washing the same part of his chest he’d been running his hands over since stepping into the shower. He wouldn’t give this Naruto the satisfaction of seeing how much he’d got to Sasuke. However much Sasuke’s cock was throbbing, Sasuke could not give himself any relief until after he’d thrown this man out of his house.

Naruto danced and twisted, occasionally throwing in difference moves like squatting down with his tongue circling the air around Sasuke’s cock. Sasuke didn’t have the mental power to will his erection out of existence, but he kept his expression nonchalant and was certain he gave no other outward sign of attraction or interest.  Which was fortunate because his mind was a mess. He could just about accept his sexual attraction to the physical specimen that was deliberately teasing and provoking him, but it was the randomness of the direction his desires were taking that worried him. He found himself gazing not at the man’s perfect body but the way his hair colour had darkened under the water and Sasuke had to stop himself more than once just instinctively reaching out and brushing Naruto’s wet hair away from his beautifully blue eyes. Instead of admiring the blonde’s muscle definition and storing it away for his delayed masturbation session, Sasuke’s eyes studied a pattern of faint scars he hadn’t noticed before on the man’s cheeks and somehow he yearned to run his fingers over them more than he wanted to touch the sculptured body.

It was when he found himself seriously contemplating getting his nail brush and scrubbing the stubborn grime off where it was still stuck to Naruto’s hands, despite how long they’d both spent standing under the water, that Sasuke finally gave up.

He switched the shower off. It wasn’t giving up. It was impossible that someone as intelligent as him could engage in a battle of wills with an absolute idiot, therefore it was impossible to lose.

Sasuke stepped out of the shower, took a towel and then after a second’s thought turned to hand it to Naruto. The blonde was behind him doing some sort of victory twirl shimmy dance, as Sasuke turned he knocked the other man, who slipped on the tiles, fell into Sasuke’s arms. Naruto flailed trying to right himself, but instead fell further and somehow landed so his lips were pressed against Sasuke’s.

They stared wide eyed at each other, both of them completely frozen, before Naruto jumped backwards just as Sasuke was about to push him away.

‘I don’t kiss,’ Sasuke said in a voice which was smaller than he intended it. He regained his composure and in his usual indifferent tones declared, ‘I endured your dancing because it had some entertainment value in how long you could maintain it, but kissing me as part of your _cocktease_ act is not acceptable.’

Naruto paused for a moment still staring wide eyed, then he wiped the back of his hand across his mouth. ‘You think I kissed you on purpose? Why would I kiss you on purpose? The whole point was not touching you, you arrogant prick, and…’

‘So you want me to believe that you can grind and gyrate endlessly with such awareness of your body and mine that you didn’t once touch me, but you accidentally fell and kissed me? You are…’

‘If you think that that was a kiss than your life is sadder than mine.’

‘Get the fuck out of my house, right now.’

‘Gladly.’ Naruto stomped out of the door slamming it behind him.

Sasuke looked at his own reflection and sighed. He wasn’t a good man. He wasn’t a nice many. He wasn’t a kind man. And he had no aspirations to be any of those things. He had done so much worse in his time to people who deserved so much better from him.  But he already knew he couldn’t let the crazy hooker march out of his house naked. He wrapped a towel around his own waist. There was no point delaying the inevitable. He went after the man.

Naruto moved surprisingly fast, but had gone in the wrong direction to the stairs.

‘You are actually stupid enough to go outside naked,’ Sasuke said his arms folded across his chest.

Naruto shrugged. ‘There’s no one about, you may not have noticed but you live in the middle of nowhere. I’ve got a change of clothes at Toady. I planned to put on a suit before I met you, but, yaknow, I didn’t know how long I’d be running about in the sticks before I found you and couldn’t risk ruining my best clothes. I’ve got clients to meet, I’ve got to look good for them.’

As Naruto spoke Sasuke indicated with his head for the other man to follow him, and had to work surprisingly hard not to smile when the blonde did obey him.

‘I _am_ your client, didn’t you care about looking good for me?’

Naruto put his hands behind the back of his head. ‘You’ve got me naked, what more do you want?’

Sasuke’s eyes flicked up and down the man’s toned body. However strangely this meeting had gone there definitely had been some perks. Almost without thinking Sasuke led Naruto past the bathroom where the blonde had left his clothes and up another set of stairs which led to his own bedroom.

He took a towelling robe from his wardrobe put it on Naruto, lifting up the hood to hopefully absorb some of the water from the man’s dripping hair.  The blonde remained quiet and compliant, staring past Sasuke and taking in the grandeur of the room.

Sasuke pulled on a pair of navy lounge pants then looked at his guest. With his body hidden beneath the bulky robe, Naruto’s face seemed childlike and younger, all big eyed awe and yellow bangs hanging unstyled over his forehead.

Sasuke coughed a couple of times and the man gave him a smile.

‘I’m surprised you like Henry Scott Tuke,’ Naruto nodded towards the paintings of naked men swimming on Sasuke’s wall. ‘I’d have thought you’d have some modern shape splatter painting that your personal designer has told you all the rich dudes are supposed to hang in their bedrooms to show what good taste they have.’

‘I’m surprised you know who Henry Scott Tuke is,’ Sasuke said with a tilt of his head. ‘Did they have a special about him on Nickelodean that I missed?’

‘Haha. I know lots of stuff. I get about.’ Naruto stepped closer and gazed at them. ‘But I’ve never been to the sea, that’s probably why I like them. The idea of swimming in the sea with your friends and everything being cool and no one wanting or needing anything from you…well, yaknow, that’s probably not the proper art critical thing they’re about but that’s what I see when I look at them…friendship…freedom…somewhere I’ve never been.’  His eyes looked distant but he saw Sasuke gazing at him and their brightness came back. ‘I do love _Pig, Goat, Banana Cricket_ too though, so you’re on the money with the Nickolodean thing.’ He stretched his arms above his head. ‘So all that cockteasing has got me hungry, what’s for dinner? Have you got a private chef you ring down for food from like in a hotel? The kitchen must be like a day’s hike away from here at least, right?’

Sasuke was mulling over what Naruto had just said and answered in a distracted tone. ‘There’s nothing for dinner, I ate before I left town and do a tomato juice fast over the weekend.’

‘What the fuck?’ Naruto’s eyebrows raised so high on his forehead they disappeared under the robe’s hood. ‘You get your friend to pressure me into meeting you, lure me out into the middle of nowhere so my car breaks down, don’t want to pay me, don’t want to fuck me and aren’t even going to feed me? Fucking, fucking hell. And I was going to like do a tabletop dance for you after dinner because I thought you were cute giving me the robe and everything. Screw that. You eat your tomato juice, I’m going to bed.’ Naruto pulled the robe off and threw it at Sasuke’s feet then hurled himself across the room and face down onto Sasuke’s bed.

Sasuke looked at the blonde, he lay with his legs slightly parted and his ass fully on display and incredibly inviting. Was this more teasing? But the other man had seemed genuinely angry at the lack of refreshments.

When the man hadn’t moved for a full minute, Sasuke said, ‘I can get you a glass of water with lemon squeezed in it, if you’d like?’

The reply was a pillow thrown very accurately at him, though the only part of the man that moved was his throwing arm.

‘How was I supposed to know I was meant to give you dinner?’ Sasuke protested. He ground his jaw at the fact he was defending himself to the hooker he’d failed thus far to actually fuck.

‘Common decency, you booked me for the whole night, bastard.’ There followed a string of inventive curses followed by a grumbled, ‘Forget about it. I’m going to sleep. You can pay to listen to me snore.’

‘You can’t go to sleep. I mean I could do anything to you…surely you look after yourself better than that?’

‘I trust you.’

‘You shouldn’t trust me, you’ve only just met me and in our short acquaintance all you’ve done is annoy me and deliberately and openly sexually provoke me.’

‘I trust you,’ the man said in a more annoyed voice.

‘You’re entirely naked, you’ve got no defences. One of the first things you told me is that you have no transport and no phone, you’re entirely at my mercy. In your line of work you have to be more careful! For a rich person to disappear an unwanted hooker…that’s nothing. I can’t believe you. If I hadn’t stopped you, you would have run out of my house naked and…’

‘And maybe that would have been a better idea than having to listen to you lecture me about safety.’ Naruto lifted his head and looked over his shoulder at Sasuke. ‘Are you planning to rape me, or disappear me, or however you want to put it?’

‘No, of course not,’ Sasuke snapped.

Naruto flopped his head back on the bed. ‘There you go then. I trust you.’

‘That’s nothing, if I was going to, I’d hardly declare it to you, would I?’

‘You’d be surprised,’ Naruto mumbled.

Sasuke swallowed. But when he spoke his voice was cold and indifferent. ‘Fine, you sleep. And consider yourself fortunate that I do not find you attractive at all.’

‘Yeah, yeah, Mr Constant Hard On, I get it, you don’t pay for sex, hookers are beneath you, whatever, just let me get some rest. I’m bad enough when I don’t eat, you don’t want me tired too.’

Sasuke left the room to go to his office. He could at least get some work done if nothing else. Fifteen minutes later he was back in his bedroom. He’d been the stupid one, assuming just because the prostitute appeared so dumb he was innocent. It’d be just desserts if he’d got himself so idiotically concerned for the hooker’s lack of basic preservation, that the blonde had leapt off the bed as soon as Sasuke left the room and started thieving everything that wasn’t nailed down.

The man was still on the bed. He’d now turned on his front, he was completely spread eagled and as he’d said, was loudly snoring.

Sasuke sat down on the opposite side of the bedroom meaning to study the papers he’d brought back with him. Three minutes later he was perched awkwardly on the bed, positioned between Naruto’s sprawled limbs. Six minutes later the papers were dropped on the floor and Sasuke was gazing at the sleeping man. Within another minute Sasuke was carefully pulling the covers out from under Naruto and gently placing them over him. When he’d finished tucking him in, he went to retrieve his papers and go back to his office but Naruto’s eyes flashed open for a moment.

‘Don’t leave me alone. Please, don’t leave me alone.’

His eyes closed again.

Sasuke found himself lying down beside the stranger. Naruto snuggled against him, curling up surprisingly small on Sasuke’s chest in contrast to how tall he’d seemed moments earlier spread over the whole bed.

Sasuke lay still. In this odd world perhaps it made bizarre sense that the first person he ever allowed to share his adult bed was a naked prostitute he hadn’t had sex with.

 

 

Sasuke didn’t remember falling asleep. He hadn’t planned to fall asleep. But in the morning he woke up and the first thing he did was feel across the bed before he remembered what he was feeling for. The man had gone. Sasuke wasn’t surprised. He should check to see if anything was missing. He slid out of the sheets and picked up the robe the man had discarded last night. He placed it around his own body. Despite the amount of shower gel the blonde had used, it had an earthy scent of a warm wet animal. Sasuke walked to the bathroom they’d been in the previous night. Sasuke’s clothes were still neatly folded on top of the laundry basket, the man’s scrappy orange outfit was gone.

Sasuke was about to leave the room when he saw the handprint the man had left on the tiles when he’d been laughing at Sasuke. Sasuke smiled and walked over and put his own hand over it. He stayed there for a long time, avoiding looking at his reflection in the mirror, before he finally headed towards the kitchen to prepare his first tomato juice of the day.


	3. Chapter 3

Sasuke didn’t listen to pop music. It was inane and pointless. But still one night when he couldn’t sleep, he went to his office as was customary, however, instead of going through some of the less important reports, he did a search for a song that contained the lyrics ‘Girl, look at that body’. He watched the video which was as cheap and tardy as he suspected, then watched it again to confirm that the prostitute yowling in his shower had actually done a better version of it than the official singers.

Sasuke grunted in disdain at his own body as his cock hardened at the thought of that man naked and wet.

The whole encounter bothered him in a way nothing else had for as long as he could remember. At random moments images from an evening he should have immediately forgotten sprung into his mind.

Stopped at a traffic light, he saw the man laughing; the brightness of his blue eyes, how he seemed to laugh and feel happy with every part of his body from his fingertips to the ends of that ridiculously yellow hair.

In the middle of an important meeting he suddenly and clearly recalled the whore saying: _it makes no odds to me if you pay to fuck me, or pay to watch me shower. I actually prefer the showering option as it’s easier. Plus this would normally be a proper date night rather than a fuck night as I’ve had to squeeze you in after a client who is an expert at fucking really hard, so like I say, good to have a rest_.

It was fortunate that Sasuke was so skilled at what he did. He could carry on an in depth conversation about growth projections without making one mistake, while mentally he boiled with indignation at the yellowhead basically saying he didn’t care whether he had sex with Sasuke or not.  And that whoever his previous client was had been an _expert_ , implying Sasuke wasn’t. Sasuke’s frustration was increased by his disobedient mind creating an infinite supply of images of what the _expert_ client may have looked like and what exactly he had done to the hooker.  

Sitting down to eat, he saw the whore naked and face down on his bed, genuinely sulking that Sasuke hadn’t provided him with a meal. Worse Sasuke spent more time wondering what the useless prostitute might like to eat, than he did thinking about that delectable ass the yellowhead had presented to him.

Before Sasuke closed his eyes at night he heard that annoying voice sounding soft and vulnerable, pleading ‘ _Don’t leave me alone. Please, don’t leave me alone_.’

It was all because he hadn’t fucked him. Obviously. That was a failure. And Sasuke didn’t deal in failures.

Not bothering that it was the middle of the night, Sasuke phoned Suigetsu.

‘Heeyy, Boss, what’s…’

‘Get me another date,’ he said and hung up.

Sasuke went back to bed and fell asleep immediately.

*****

It took over two months this time for Suigetsu to get the yellowhead to agree to a second meeting. Sasuke managed to restrain himself to only harrying his friend once a week. But even that was revealing too much.

‘Wow, he must have been even better than he looked for you to want him back this much…pity he doesn’t feel the same, it’d make my job a lot easier,’ Suigetsu said over the phone.

Sasuke knew Suigetsu was grinning. He pictured pulling out each and every one of the infuriating creature’s teeth. That appeased his anger enough for him to reply in a perfectly flat voice, ‘In a world of mediocrity, someone who is even a fraction above average is worth pursuing. At this point though, I am merely curious how much time it is taking a man of your supposed abilities to book an appointment with a cerebrally challenged escort.’

Suigetsu mumbled something purposely unintelligible, Sasuke could guess what it was, but he’d made his point. Unfortunately so had Suigetsu, far more than he realised, _pity he doesn’t feel the same_. What had the hooker said to Suigetsu? Nothing, otherwise Suigetsu would have said straight away, and the man always spoke as if Sasuke and the whore had actually had sex, which would of course be the normal assumption. Because why the hell would a man like Sasuke want another meeting with a whore who had failed to fulfil his primary function? It was like rehiring a plumber who’d ignored the flood in the basement and just sat down and chatted to you.

But the question that really gnawed in Sasuke’s brain however much he tried to suppress it, was why didn’t Naruto want to meet him again? Sasuke had got Suigetsu to pay for the hooker’s time, and had even added a more than generous tip. Especially considering there had been nothing to give a bonus tip for, unless there was a unique fetish of people who’d pay to have a naked guy drool all over them while they slept. He’d offered to pay in advance for the next date, so there could be no question of money…so what had been so bad? Had the blonde not liked waking up in Sasuke’s arms? True, he had asked Sasuke to join him in bed…sort of asked him, it had been in his sleep…and he had been the one to curl up against Sasuke…but maybe he thought Sasuke had taken advantage of him?

The idea burned in Sasuke and caused him more discomfort than anything else. He could just about accept the idea of Naruto being the one person who wasn’t attracted to him, but he couldn’t bear the idea of this whore he’d only met for one night thinking that he’d been wrong to trust Sasuke.

When the day arrived Sasuke was prepared. More than prepared. He’d fucked someone every day for the last ten day, and two people yesterday. He hadn’t felt like it, but it was essential that he made none of the mistakes of the previous encounter due to a desperate libido.

He had also taken a complete day off work, something he couldn’t remember ever doing. He often was able to work from home, but long weekends of relaxation were for other lesser people.

Sasuke knew that this man would in all likelihood be a complete disappointment. The reason a common hooker had got stuck in his mind was solely because their first meeting had been so bizarre. It highlighted the fact that Sasuke had been aware of for a little while, he’d crafted himself the perfect life, but occasionally it became boring and without any challenges. To such an extent that his mind transformed the oddity of a prostitute not having sex with him into a challenge worthy of his full attention.

What would happen is that this time he’d charm the escort, the hooker would apologise for his rudeness last time make some nonentity of an excuse, then they’d fuck and Sasuke would forget about him forever. And that would be the be all and end of this strange little interlude that had distracted him for a few months. If Suigetsu hadn’t taken so long setting up a simple meeting it would be over by now.

With those thoughts Sasuke waited on the landing. He’d left the gates open, but stared at them with a frown wondering if they looked too inviting, too eager? He made a small grunt, he never doubted his decisions, why should he care what impression he made on this near-stranger?

Except he did. That was what this was all about. To rectify the failure of last time and ensure that the man ended up in his bed.

Ended up in his bed, riding his cock that is, not curled up against his chest snoring.

He checked the time, he wouldn’t wait a second past the designated appointment for the man this time. Sasuke was ready to press the button and shut the gates and keep them shut. He could turn on the electric fencing too if necessary to stop him trying to climb again.

But then the ugliest noisiest car that had surely ever been made, let alone turned up outside his house, came into his drive. It spluttered up the shot distance, making such a distressed sound that Sasuke almost believed the mechanical thing was crying out for help.

It croaked to a jumpy halt and the hooker jumped out and waved up at Sasuke.

Sasuke blushed. He had absolutely no reason why. His fuck for the evening looked exactly the same as he had last time they met, the only difference being he was dressed in a suit.

Had he decided to make an effort this time? Did the suit mean he hadn’t rushed from a previous client? That Sasuke was his only appointment today? Maybe he’d been waiting for the day to disappear and the time to arrive to meet Sasuke like Sasuke had been…Sasuke refused to finish that sentence.

He hated himself for thinking about such things. He turned on his heel and walked down the stairs at a stately pace. The whore didn’t bang on the door like he had last time, Sasuke imagined the man waiting patiently on the other side of the wood. He touched a hand over his chest, he must remember to book an appointment with his doctor, he was due a check up and his heart was beating somewhat irregularly for no reason.

Sasuke opened the door.

Another difference from last time, the man didn’t barge past but stood smiling sheepishly. He moved his hand as if to rub the back of his head, but stopped himself. The man’s hair was fashionably styled rather than the mess it had been at the previous meeting.

Neither of them spoke they just gazed at each other, and then gazed at everything but each other.

‘You mended your car then,’ Sasuke said. ‘I was worried about you getting home after…after our last…date. I would have given you a lift if you’d woken me.’

Sasuke bit his lip, these words were obviously improvised false compassion, they weren’t what he’d planned to say to charm the escort at all, nor were they anything like the usual approach he made to his chosen fuck.

‘That’s nothing you have to worry about. When time’s up, I’m not your concern. That’s what people pay so well for.’ The hooker spoke in a softer more well-mannered voice than Sasuke remembered. ‘But anyway, Toady’s the best he’s ever been now,’ he beamed but his smile faltered. ‘Toady’s what I call…’

‘Your car. I remember.’

‘Well, I don’t expect you to remember anything about me.’

‘I remember everything about you,’ Sasuke snapped back as if the other man had insulted him. It was only after he’d spoken that he realised how it went against his whole style to admit to having any interest in other people, let alone a whore.

The hooker smiled showing his teeth. ‘You’re pretty memorable yourself. I’ve never had a _date_ like that before.’

Sasuke avoided looking at his visitor instead he gazed upwards, taking a moment to process his thoughts. Why did he want to smile himself when this stranger told him he was ‘memorable’? He wasn’t a person who’d ever needed or cared about compliments, especially one that was so obvious. But then was the hooker actually insulting him?  Saying that he’d never had a date like that, indicating and mocking Sasuke’s failure to actually have sex with him?

‘So, ummmm, well, I was surprised when your man, Suigetsu appeared again and…’

‘Suigetsu is not my man!’

‘Wow, you are one touchy princess, aren’t you?’ The foghorn voice from their last meeting returned.

And for some reason, Sasuke did smile. He opened the door wider. ‘Come inside, I don’t want anyone to see you. It’s a pity I can’t hide that car.’

The hooker looked around dramatically, ‘ _Who_ exactly is going to judge you for ordering in sex for the weekend? You think those blackbirds are up there gossiping about what you’re going to do to me tonight? Caw, caw do you think he’ll fuck him doggy? Naw Naw, he’ll get him to do the splits and fuck him for hours and hours like that, rich dudes never care about the comfort of their whores. Really, I mean, living out here so secluded it’d make a dude think that you don’t like people.’ The man stamped through the door. ‘And by the way, if you’re hoping I’ll suck your cock don’t say anything mean about Toady, I kid you not, he’s my pride and joy.’

Sasuke was aware of the hardening within his jeans. What had been the point of all that sex, if the hooker just mentioning doing the splits gave him an erection?

‘You want to have sex with me?’ Sasuke asked. It should have been a statement, but it emerged like a genuine question.

‘That’s what you’re paying me for.’ The man frowned. ‘Isn’t it? You’re not going to do more of that wank attitude from last time, are you? Expecting me to service you for free?’

It wasn’t the answer Sasuke required.  But then Sasuke had deviated so much from the script he’d mentally prepared to seduce this man, that he deserved no better.

He took a breath and forced himself to smile. ‘I paid for our last meeting which didn’t involve sex, I’ve paid in advance for this one. I was under the impression that escort _services_ didn’t have to be sexual.’

The man’s brow creased up further, he narrowed his eyes and looked at Sasuke as if he clearly believed he was being tricked somehow. ‘You’re saying you’re paying for what? My _company_?’

‘You yourself said last time that you’d rather have a proper date night with me as opposed to a fuck night.’ Sasuke bit his lip to prevent himself from breaking his even tone and snarling out what else the whore had said about just being with a client who was an expert at fucking.

‘Date nights involve people who want someone pretty on their arm to go to a concert or whatever when they’re out of town and don’t have any friends locally…they don’t involve going to a private house in the middle of nowhere and what…chatting all night?’

‘I wouldn’t have judged you as someone with confidence problems. But if you want reassurance, I’m happy to stroke…your ego. I find you quite charming and would love to listen to you talk all night.’

The hooker threw back his head in laughter. ‘I thought you business types were like politicians, world class liars. Try another one, baby. You’ve gotta have better than that. My best, closest, lay-down-on-a-railtrack-for-me, friends, would rather have their ears cut off than listen to me talk all night!’ He folded his arms. ‘You’re pulling exactly the same crap, aren’t you? Thinking I’m going to fall to my knees and beg to be your bitch because you reckon you’re such a hot piece? The difference being this time you’ve got a plan, you’re so up yourself you believe a few pretend nice words will make me melt for you. Then once you’ve fucked me you can feel satisfied that there isn’t a man alive that isn’t desperate for your cock. You’ve really got a whole Mirror Mirror on the wall, evil stepqueen thing going, haven’t you? Before you go to bed to you chant out, _Please tell me I’m the prettiest thing that’s ever lived and no one in any kingdom can resist_ …’

‘I like you. I have absolutely no idea why, and believe me I’ve tried to work out the reasons and have come up entirely blank, but I genuinely like you.’ Sasuke put his hand on the side of the man’s face, he tilted it as if he was going to kiss him, but instead of moving in to take what he wanted, he froze.

It was as if actual electricity was emitting from the palm of his hand passing into the other man’s skin and sparking back at Sasuke. The closest sensation Sasuke could compare it to was when they’d touched in the shower, but this was so much more.

The yellowhead was obviously feeling exactly the same as Sasuke was judging by his open mouthed, wide eyed stare. Despite his rant of seconds earlier that Sasuke had interrupted, Sasuke knew that right now this man was more susceptible to him than anyone had ever been, he would do whatever Sasuke wanted, beyond any of the things Sasuke had planned for the night, if Sasuke just kissed him.

Sasuke dropped his hand and turned away. ‘I’ve made you dinner. It’ll be getting cold.’

He walked to the kitchen, after a heartbeat’s pause the man followed him. Without thinking, Sasuke slowed his pace for him to catch up and walk by his side, but the hooker paused too and kept behind him.

When they arrived, Sasuke looked critically around at the area he’d prepared earlier, he’d designed it thinking of the man in the orange clothes covered in engine oil who’d danced for him in the shower last time. Perhaps he’d made it for an illusion of his own creation. Even taking into count the deathtrap mess of a car, it seemed a ridiculous place to bring a styled man wearing a well-tailored suit.  Sasuke’s cheeks reddened at the frog fairy lights he’d decorated with, but nothing was as bad as the banner he’d made saying ‘Happy Second Date’ and decorated with bright pink hearts. What had he been thinking of? He wouldn’t even want to sleep with anyone who could be seduced by such ridiculous tat.

Not that the hooker was giving any sign of being seduced. The man who couldn’t stop talking last time was now completely silent. Sasuke didn’t blame him. There was nothing to salvage though, so he might as well bear it out.  Ensuring he didn’t even glance the other man out of the corner of his eye, Sasuke busied himself lighting candles and bringing out the food he had spent the day preparing and left warming ready for the whore’s arrival.

‘I don’t know your tastes, I went for Japanese cuisine because of your name. I presume you’d like a knife and fork rather than chopsticks,’ Sasuke spoke flatly keeping his eyes down.

Sasuke wasn’t aware of the escort moving, but suddenly he was lifted off the ground, his arms pinned to his side, in a massive bear hug. Then he was being spun around and then squeezed hard enough to squash all his eternal organs before being put back down.

‘Wow, I can’t believe you got your people to prepare all this for me!’ The man yelled, surely damaging Sasuke’s hearing forever.

‘I did it myself.’ Sasuke’s voice was quieter than normal as he struggled to get air back in his lungs, but his mind screamed as loudly as the hooker at the idea that anyone else would have known he’d purposely made his kitchen look like this.

For his honesty Sasuke was spun around again.

‘You are awesome! Truly awesome! How did you know what I’d like? I can’t wait to taste your cooking. I mean, is there anything in the world better than ramen?’ He dropped Sasuke to the floor and plonked himself down in the chair at the head of the table.

Sasuke paused for a moment, watching the man collect dishes in front of him. Then he sat down at the side, it wouldn’t be dignified to start an argument about the man sitting in his place.

The man was surprisingly adept with chopsticks and showed his delight at the food with enthusiastic hmmm and ahhhhs, but didn’t seem to want to interrupt his feast with actual talking.

Sasuke ate about a quarter of what his guest did, but tasted nothing. His mind was immediately and totally occupied with how much the whore could fit in his mouth and how greedily he did it.

When he finished he patted his stomach and made some more satisfied noises. ‘How comes a rich boy like you can cook like that?’ He asked in a curious rather than a taunting voice. ‘I guess you clear them out for my visits as you’re ashamed of buying sex, you’re not the only one who does that, as if like the people who change your sheets and scrub your boxers clean don’t know all your secrets, but anyhows, don’t you have like an army of servants to do everything for you normally, so no need for you to ever learn to even flick the switch on the toaster?’

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. ‘Don’t assume to know me.’

Naruto chuckled. ‘Yeah, you’ve shown me that. Sorry, about like that speech I gave you. You know the one about you being a douche who just wants to sneak into my pants for free because of massive ego issues that don’t let you cope with anyone saying no to you.’ He gazed up at the banner with happy eyes. ‘This is all cool and unexpected. I’d never in a million years of guessed that you’d think of celebrating a second date with me as something special.’

The blue eyes stared at him with an incredibly childlike joy. For a moment Sasuke could almost forget the man’s profession and why he was here.

Sasuke met the other man’s gaze. Instead of playing the advantage he’d won though, and giving the hooker one of his pre-thought out lines, he said, ‘No, in that respect your instincts about me were right. All this is hideous to me.’ He moved his hand to indicate the tacky decorations. ‘I did it because I thought it would appeal to you, make you fall for me and stay after the time I’ve paid for. At which point, after you’ve begged enough, I’ll take you to my bed and fuck you so hard, so _expertly_ , that however much you’re offered you won’t want anyone touching your body except me.’

Sasuke spoke in his iciest tones, but the whore’s grin only widened.

‘I’m glad that I’m not totally out of my groove and I got a few things about you right then. And when you said you liked me, was that part of your game too?’

There was a slight tremor in Sasuke’s hand thinking back to the strange electricity between them at that moment, but he kept his voice cold. ‘It was appropriate in the moment. To be clear though, I don’t like you, and you knowing that will not stop you letting me do exactly what I want to your body.’

The man laughed. ‘To be clear right back at you, I shouldn’t like you, but I kinda do. Whatever though, I don’t waste emotions, they’re far too precious, so if you say you don’t like me, I feel exactly the same, and I don’t like you either, Sasuke.’

‘Hnnnn. To be even clearer, I have absolutely no interest in what you think about me, I only care about getting inside your ass, Naruto.’

The hooker leaned his head in close to Sasuke’s. ‘FYI, as well as not liking you, I hate the way you say my name. I haven’t been waiting all this time to hear you say it tonight, because I definitely haven’t had sleepless nights, tossing and sweating, needing to touch myself multiple times, because it totally didn’t sound so really really sexy when you said it last time we met that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.’

Sasuke frowned. ‘If you are that attracted to me why did you make it so difficult for Suigetsu to book another appointment with me? Why are we bothering playing these games?’

Naruto stood up and stretched his hands above his head. ‘I’m not playing, baby, I’m working. And if you were listening right I said I _haven’t_ had any sleepless nights thinking about you. Now, whatever you’re saying, or thinking you’re saying, the truth is in your actions. You don’t give a guy a meal that big if you’ve got any plans for hot athletic sex. You don’t make put up such sweet cutesy decorations if you’re trying to seduce someone. You’re lonely, sweet Sasuke, more than you realise. And you’re paying, and paying well, for my company, so let me give you my best.’ He took Sasuke’s hand in his own. ‘How about we start, and maybe finish as your place is huuuge, with a tour of your home? I didn’t get to see much of it last time.’

Without quite knowing how it happened, Sasuke found himself being led around his own home as his ‘date’ marched happily about, opening every door and asking endless questions. He felt like he’d been severely wrongfooted and didn’t know how to regain control. It was worse than their first meeting, at least then Sasuke had had the excuse of excessive libido unbalancing his personality,  right now he had absolutely no reason for why he was following a hooker around and talking to him as if they were old friends.

Several times he started to inform the man exactly how wrong he was in calling Sasuke both ‘lonely’ and ‘sweet’, but always Naruto was louder and got distracted by something.

In the music room, he threw the dust cover off the piano and demanded that Sasuke play for him.

‘I know you can play, sugar, don’t deny it, I just have to look at your beautiful elegant fingers to know you’re an amazing musician.’

‘My brother was the talented one,’ Sasuke replied.

Naruto shrugged. ‘Who says?’

‘Everyone.’

Naruto looked theatrically around. ‘Well, I don’t know about you, but I don’t think everyone’s here. I think it’s just you and me. And I say you are the talented one, and no one can argue with me, right?’

Despite the stupidity of it Sasuke found a small smile on his face. He sat down on the piano stool for the first time in years and played. He watched his hands move over the keys and thought to himself that he did have beautiful and elegant fingers. The music entered his soul and he felt a life inside his soul that had nothing to do with being an Uchiha or a powerful and feared businessman.

He finished one movement and segued into the next automatically. It was only a strained sobbing noise at his side that made him abruptly stop.

Tears were running down Naruto’s face. He rubbed them rapidly away with the backs of his hand. ‘No, ignore me….carry on…I’m sorry, Chopin always makes me cry. Maybe try some Beethoven…or Mozart…or Bach…or someone, Sasuke…help me here…I’m a fucking cheapass whore…I don’t know that many composers.’

Sasuke stared at him transfixed. His chest and eyes ached as if he was the one that had been crying.  

‘I know! I know how to save this date from the utter stupidity of me crying. Spread your legs.’

Sasuke’s eyes widened. Before he could give any verbal response, Naruto was squeezed in front of him, pushing Sasuke’s knees apart and perching between them.

‘Teach me Chopsticks, yaknow, it continues the theme of the meal, where you didn’t think I’d be able to use chopsticks, but I could, but I can’t play Chopsticks, and I’ve always wanted to be able to, because all the cool kids, and the uncool kids, could. It was just me who was too dumb to work it out on my own and had no friends to teach me.’ Naruto jerked his hips back into Sasuke’s crotch. ‘Come on now, you might not have noticed this about me yet, but sometimes I can yak on too much, and I need someone to interrupt and stop me talking. Or on rare occasions just start crying for no real reason, when I’m kinda trying to be professional. Please.’

Sasuke knew that his standard response in a situation like this would be to inform the idiot that this was a Steinway, one of the best pianos in the world, not something to teach a stupid amateur how to play a basic tune on. Or even taking in the circumstances of this particular evening, he should be making a move based on the fact a man he was undeniably attracted to, despite his questionable personality, had his ass pressed against his groin. Instead he reached around, placed his hands over Naruto’s and slowly and patiently taught him how to play Chopsticks.

Although Sasuke hadn’t quite known what to make of the man’s request, he was surprised by how serious and determined the yellowhead proved to be, persevering and insisting on trying again however many mistakes he made. When he played it through correctly for the first time he celebrated with a whoop as loud as if he’d just mastered Rachmaninoff.  Sasuke couldn’t ignore a certain pride in his own heart as the two of them duetted through the simple tune repeatedly.

For some reason at the end of the fifth rendition, they both started giggling at the same time and couldn’t stop. They leant against each other laughing.  Then Sasuke’s laughter started to subside and his body became aware of the closeness of the other man. He ran his hand over the back of Naruto’s neck and breathed in the scent of his body beneath the perfume of a designer aftershave.

Naruto jumped awkwardly away as there was not much room between Sasuke, Naruto, the stool and the piano.

‘Hey, let’s continue the tour of chez Sasuke then.’

Sasuke swallowed back the disappointment that he was self-aware enough to realise went deeper than merely having his physical desires ignored.

‘I’m not sure there’s anything that can match your debut performance of Chopsticks.’ His voice sounded cold, or in other words normal, but what was very abnormal was that he tried to undo the effect with a smile.

Naruto gave one of his shyer smiles in return, but it transformed into a sunny beam. ‘I was indeed amazing, but for a guy who looks like he can buy the moon if he wants to, you think too small. Our date is just going to continue like this from high point to high point, like we’re superheroes leaping from mountain top to mountain top.’

‘So impossible then?’ Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

‘Not if inside that pretty little head of yours you’ve got any imagination, baby.’ 

Naruto dashed out of the room, before Sasuke had a chance to protest about being called ‘baby’. He’d let so many of those sickening terms go, that he supposed another one didn’t make any difference. He went after the man and found him turning in awe filled circles in the library.

‘How many of these books have you read? You must be so smart, and know so many things.’

‘I am smart and I do know many things, but I won’t  mislead you. I don’t read any of the books here. They’re just for show, ornaments, decoration pieces if you like. My grandfather paid a fortune to have them bound the same so they matched the décor of the rest of the room. It is all about appearances, not content.’

‘Poor books, things should be used for what they’re meant for.’

Sasuke’s mental response was, ‘Like your mouth sucking my cock’, but he remained quiet watching as Naruto pulled first one book and then another off the shelf, frowning at their small print.

‘Okay, what these books are meant for is making a book fort! Bet I can make one faster than you. Three, two, one, GO!’

‘How is that fair? You’re standing closer to the shelves, already had two books in your hand, and started pulling more off before you started counting down!’

The yellowhead laughed. ‘That sounds like loser talk, making excuses and admitting defeat before you even start.’

Sasuke could not believe that his careful plan to seduce and make this man beg for his cock, had descended somehow into him arguing about the fairness of a book fort competition.  This disbelief in himself did not prevent him kicking the beginning of Naruto’s fort over with a snicker as he walked over and began his own construction.

‘Ohhh, honey, I just knew you were that bitch.’

‘All these names you’re calling me, haven’t you been in my company long enough to realise I am a Bastard not a bitch.’ Sasuke snatched the books out of Naruto’s hands.

They smiled at each other and then hurtled to the bookcase. Without saying anything officially they established rules, that once something was five books high it could not be knocked over and stolen from, everything else was fair game. They rushed for the same books even though the library was massive, tugged and pulled and stole off each other if given the smallest chance. It’d grown dark outside by the time Naruto declared the competition finished as randomly as he’d started it.

Naruto’s structure was a meandering maze with sudden deadends that looked like it might all fall down and squash you if you sneezed in the wrong place. Sasuke had made a perfect house.

‘So think we can both agree that I win then?’ Naruto puffed his chest out. ‘But because I am a generous guy, and you’re paying for me to be nice to you, I’ll come snuggle up in your fort and pretend I like it.’

As soon as Naruto and him were in the house, Sasuke cursed himself for not making it smaller. Him and the yellowhead could sit in it comfortably without any need for touching, let alone any snuggling.

‘What now?’ Sasuke asked.

‘We talk, bae…Bastard. You tell me something about yourself that you want me to know and I do the same. I believe it’s commonly called a conversation, and as this is some sort of date we can throw in a few flirtatious remarks and obvious innuendos about how much you want to put your cock inside me.’

‘If I wanted to put my cock inside you that much, I would. You’re a whore, anyone can fuck you who has enough money.’

An unfamiliar pain twisted around Sasuke’s stomach as he saw the hurt on the other man’s face, the pain only increased when he saw Naruto quickly cover it and set his face in a wide smile.

He gritted his teeth. How was he supposed to know what would upset the escort? He _was_ a whore. Sasuke was just stating a fact, and the man didn’t exactly seem shy about his profession. But still he wished he’d said something different, something that continued the playful stupidity of the fort building, or the triumph of teaching him how to play Chopsticks.

‘Okay, so what you want to say to me is basically a repetition of the fact that you don’t like me and feel that sex workers are beneath you, even though you’ve twice sent your man…who I remember you’re very keen that I don’t call your man…Suigetsu to book me on your behalf.’

‘That is not what I said.’

Naruto shrugged. ‘That’s what I heard. But anyway, what I want to tell you is that I am real fortunate in the fact that I am in high enough demand that I can pick and choose my bed partners. With some of them, yaknow, it’s a bonus that I get paid for having so much fun. With others, I’m happy that I can give them pleasure because they’re good people who just aren’t that sexually confident in the madness of the dating world for whatever reason. So yeah, people pay to have sex with me, but you’re wrong, flashing cash in my face does not mean you have an automatic right to touch my body.’

Emotions whirled through Sasuke’s brain and he didn’t know how to deal with any of them. It left his default personality in charge of his mouth. ‘Hnnnn, are you trying to say I haven’t got enough money to get you to do whatever I want whenever I want?’

‘I don’t know. Maybe you do. But you’d have to admit that you’re willing to pay for sex first.’ Naruto’s smile was defiant but it softened into something else. ‘Which I don’t think you’re ready to do yet, so let’s change the subject and you can have what you are willing to pay for: my company on our second date. So, Sasuke, you don’t read any of these books, do you have any books you do read?’

‘I have a real career. My reading time is spent in business reports and newspapers and…’ Sasuke didn’t know what exactly motivated him, but he took the prostitute’s hand and led him silently out of the book fort, out of the library and up to the top of the house to a room that no one but him had seen for years. ‘And I like children’s books,’ he said softly.

The room was decorated like it belonged to a twelve year old. A very young twelve year old. The book shelves were colourful and filled with well thumbed paperbacks which were in sharp contrast to the tomes in the library. The walls had pictures of famous children’s characters and there were big bean bags and bright blankets.

Naruto said nothing for a moment, then he squeezed Sasuke’s hand and walked over and took _Peter Pan_ off a shelf. ‘You’ve got a place we can sit out on the roof right? It’s a nice night. If we take some blankets and a torch and some hot chocolate, will you read this to me under the stars? You’ve got a nice voice when you forget you’re supposed to be an over privileged douchebag.’

‘No.’

Naruto’s eyes dropped and the light dulled.

‘No, I didn’t mean no. I meant not no.’ Sasuke’s tone was unusually rushed and worried. ‘I can do all of it, but I don’t have hot chocolate. I have…’

‘Say tomato juice and this date is over.’

‘I have a red liquid that is extremely healthy and full of vitamins and does not give you a false sugar high of other beverages. Is that acceptable?’

‘Nope. Not at all. Unless you’re a vampire. You’re definitely white enough. But I really want you to read to me, so you’re forgiven.’

 They gathered blankets and cushions and Sasuke took Naruto to the place they could get safely out onto the roof where it was flat. Naruto immediately cuddled up against Sasuke’s chest with the naturalness of an animal. And Sasuke put his arm around him even though it made holding the torch and book awkward. He read and kept reading even after Naruto’s breathing had turned into soft snores.

 

 

In the morning he was alone again. He took the blankets and cushions back to the room and replaced _Peter Pan_ on the shelf. He looked in at the library and the book forts they’d created. In the kitchen he ignored the unwashed dishes that would normally aggravate him and noticed the space where the banner had been.

It was much later after he’d cleaned up the house that he went into his office and found an important contract scribbled over and the nib of an expensive fountain pen bent at an awful angle.

He took the note around with him for the whole of the day and read it several times.

_Why the hell is it so hard to find a proper pen and a blank bit of paper in your freaking massive house?! Serious question. Tell me on our next date??? Did you see what I did there three question marks for our third possible date, because being with you is all sorts of unknown weirdness but I like. Or I don’t like if that’s how we’re saying things. Anyway you need to tip me more as I had to stay beyond the time you booked searching for the nonexistence pen and paper, but I’m leaving you a note to say I am taking the banner you made as my tip so I guess we’re even. If you’re willing to contact me yourself, instead of sending your man who’s not your man, then, no promises, but it might be that I won’t make you wait so long before I fit you in again. Not that you’ve fitted into me once yet! That’s an example of flirtatious date speak (although a very poor one!!!). See you soon, Sasuke???_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank so much for continuing to read, I really hope you're continuing to enjoy. I have a lot planned out and many ideas for this story and just crossing fingers it comes together on the page and the developing relationship between them makes sense, though some things will be explained in more detail later...muse permitting!


	4. Chapter 4

Sasuke parked perfectly in one of his assigned spaces under the exclusive apartment block, picked up his briefcase and focused entirely on the files it contained. Recently he had begun micro managing his staff to an even greater degree. He was discovering how slack and useless everyone was compared to him.  A smile passed over his lips as he remembered the cloning research project that had passed over his desk recently as a potential investment. If only he’d been born a few decades in the future when such things were a reality and all ethical objections had disappeared. He could fill the whole firm with clones of himself and finally everything would be perfect. But until that magical time, at least work served the purpose of keeping his mind occupied and preventing him thinking about…other things.

Although today happened to be the one day when it’d be permissible to think about other things. Or to be accurate the one other thing that was constantly trying to worm into his conscious thoughts. He fought it back when he was awake. Unfortunately he couldn’t control his dreams so well. Which was why this evening was necessary.

Instead of taking his normal trip up to the penthouse, Sasuke decided to go to the lobby and tell the doorman in person that he was expecting a guest. Though Sasuke would have preferred to rely on a simple text, with this particular guest and Sasuke’s particular doorman it was better to have the clarity of a face to face discussion. Sasuke took a file out of his case and read through it as he walked up the stairs. He managed to walk fast, absorb the information that he read, and plan out an upcoming business meeting. But as soon as he walked out into the lobby, suitcase and file dropped to the floor and his mind focused on only one thing which he could barely comprehend.

The yellow headed whore, dressed in bright orange training gear, was bent over in front of Sasuke’s doorman, who was taking advantage of the position by probing a finger between those tight buttocks.

Both turned when they heard him. Neither looked guilty. The whore actually laughed.

‘Cool, you’re here! Kakashi was all like Mr Uchiha doesn’t have any unexpected guests. And I was like I am not unexpected only a little early as a surprise. And Kakashi was like Mr Uchiha doesn’t see anyone a minute before their appointed time. And I was like, I’m certain he’ll be very happy to see my well-toned ass.’ Naruto straightened himself up stretching his arms above his head.  ‘But Kakashi doesn’t give an inch does he?’ He grinned at the doorman with clear admiration. ‘He replied straight away that Mr Uchiha works to a very precise schedule with no exceptions.’

 Sasuke gritted his teeth together. He would not waste another second listening to this hooker. He turned on his heel and marched back into the stair well.  Without thinking he began running up the stairs, two at a time, giving his heart a reason to pump that had nothing to do with the man he refused to think about.

The hooker followed. ‘Slow down, sugar, you forgot the case and bits of paper you dropped.’

Sasuke ran faster.

The hooker ran after him, and to Sasuke’s shame easily caught up with him and chatted away as if they were having a Sunday stroll in the park.

‘I’ve been waiting a while for you, but Kakashi is a good dude, he made the time fly by, he was telling me that Mr Uchiha wouldn’t do this and that, but then…’

Sasuke stopped and slammed Naruto against the wall. ‘How about you skip to the part of the conversation that led to you bent over in front of him?’

‘Oh yeah, that must have looked odd.’ Naruto grinned, seemingly unperturbed by Sasuke rough handling him. ‘I’m just so glad that you have someone like that looking after you. I worry about you all alone in that big old house of yours, but I’m glad you decided to meet at your town flat, not just because it’s easier to get to, I mean, I should have known a guy like you would have lots of places, but it was such a relief knowing you spend most of your time here and meeting Kakashi. Kakashi is a great guy and…’

‘And you let him touch you after a five minute conversation? You haven’t let me touch your ass and now you’re taunting me by giving it out for free to my doorman!’

‘Hey, it’s you who decided you weren’t willing to pay for me, and I’m not giving anything out for free, and in case you haven’t noticed I’m fully clothed which is a bit of an impediment to sex and….and…’ Naruto frowned and his voice lowered to what for him was a normal tone. ‘Are you jealous, Sasuke?’

 Sasuke paused for just a heartbeat before he snatched his file and briefcase out of the whore’s hands. It wasn’t long but it was enough for the colour to warm his cheeks in a way that had nothing to do with the exertion of running up the stairs.

‘I’ve made your acquaintance on the basis that you have sex with people for money, why the hell would I be jealous of someone touching you, _Nicky_.’ Sasuke spat out the man’s whore name as if it was the worse insult he could think of.

‘You’re not angry then? Because you’re giving a good impression of someone who is about to boil a whole field of bunnies.’

‘Oh, I am angry. I expect you to act with some decorum, and not openly solicit trade in the place that I live.’  He turned away and started up the stairs again, walking not running, but still at some speed. ‘Although there is absolutely no reason I should think that. You’ve been unprofessional and cheap in attitude, but not actual price, since the moment we first met.’

‘And that’s why you can’t get enough of me, hey, Mr Uchiha?’ Naruto shouted after him.

Sasuke had got up another flight of stairs when he began to wonder if the hooker actually wasn’t going to follow him. Which obviously wouldn’t be a bad thing. He’d make a complaint. Get a full refund. Or maybe just let the pimp keep the money, whoever had to keep that clown in order deserved every penny they earned.

He started up the next flight of steps, focusing again on reading his files. He couldn’t concentrate on a word of it. 

When he arrived at the top, he stormed out of the stairs, but for the second time froze in uncharacteristic surprise. The blonde was leaning against the wall, humming tunelessly waiting for him.

‘What the hell is the point of living in a fancy pad where I bet the elevator always work if you’re going to take the stairs? Don’t bother answering, I know, I know, you think you’re being all efficient keeping your metabolic rate up, moving throughout the day trying to undo the effects of sitting behind a desk all day, whatever. I’ve had enough of a workout today, I’ve got no problem being lazy rather than chasing you up flights of stairs. And before you look at me with those bunny boiler eyes again, it wasn’t sex with Kakashi, it was MMA that’s worn me out.’ Naruto stepped forward took the file out of Sasuke’s hand, flicked the briefcase open dropped it in and started marching forward. ‘You haven’t booked me for long tonight so give me your attention and don’t waste it doing the stuff you do every evening. I’m guessing these side doors are cupboards where you make your serving staff live, and your penthouse is on the other side of the big fuck off double door, but it’s better manners if you go first and lead the way.’

Despite his words, Naruto carried on ahead and waited impatiently tapping his foot as if Sasuke was miles away and going deliberately slowly.

‘I wasn’t soliciting Kakashi, by the way. I saw what he was pretty quick, the way he holds himself, looking lazy but watching everything. I don’t know exactly whether he’s military or police, or some private thing of course, but I can see he’s trained. And protective of you. I was mucking around pretending I didn’t see what he was, though we both of course knew I saw what he was, but it’s better not to admit these things out loud, isn’t it? So I just mucked about a bit, playing the fool, just to give him an excuse to pat me down and see that I’m not like a secret assassin or something.’

‘Yes, because all secret assassins hide weapons between their butt cheeks.’ Sasuke’s voice should have been cold. Instead it was sparking with resentment.

‘That one did kinda surprise me, but it’s good that he’s thorough, right?’ Naruto shrugged and chuckled. ‘I’m pretty proud of myself, I almost screamed and shot into the air like a shocked monk, and that would have been sooooo embarrassing if you’d walked in on me like that.’

Sasuke stared at him with raised eyebrows. Naruto grinned back at him.

Fuck, but what the hell was a grown man, and a hooker too, doing with such beautiful, big blue innocent eyes. If Sasuke stared at him much longer, he’d believe it if the man told him he was a virgin and the video that Sasuke had seen was made through the magic of technology.

Annoyed at himself, Sasuke had to look away. But his mind did somehow feel calmer. He was curious as to how the hooker could guess so quickly about Kakashi. That would only be a matter of interest though if Sasuke was in some sort of real long term friendship with the man. Which he obviously wasn’t and never would be.

‘What are you doing here? I didn’t book you until later.’ Sasuke’s voice was back to its normal indifference.

‘Did you get the letter I left you last time?’ There was sadness in the whore’s voice.

Something in Sasuke’s gut twisted at the tone of his voice, he fiercely told himself that it was nothing more than a hooker’s pity trick to get a bigger tip.

‘If you are referring to what you scrawled all over an important contract, then yes I found that.’

Naruto nodded. ‘Yeah, I figured you had, but sometimes I’m as stupid as you seem to think I am and I’ve kinda been holding onto this hope that maybe you had a cleaner or something who threw it away before you read it. Because I told my boss that you’d be calling me and to put you directly through to me, which I’ve never said before, even with my oldest clients who I trust the most and who have begged for a way to contact me personally. I always know they’re Johns and that’s the line that I keep between business and mistaking them for people who are actually interested in _me_.’

Sasuke stared in front of him at his door, rather than look at the other man.

‘But, and I guess you know this part already, lots and lots of days passed and nothing. Until Suigetsu turns up again, this time trying to wrangle a mid-week appointment just for a few hours. I don’t know how much he reports back to you, but, yaknow, I was pretty angry to start with. Way angrier than you were just now at me being unprofessional in your apartment building or however you put it. Not angry at you, angry at me for being… _unprofessional_ I guess I can say as you like that word, in the things I’d been thinking about you.’ 

Sasuke wanted to ask what exactly Naruto had been thinking, but he remained silent.

‘Then after a while, I figured that you’d mulled things over yourself, didn’t like how it felt last time, things didn’t go as you planned where instead of me falling to my knees at how charming and hot you are and agreeing to fuck for free, it ended up with you…you revealing more of yourself than you were comfortable with. Especially to a whore.’ Naruto’s voice lowered for the last bit, but he regained his volume almost immediately. ‘I get that. You like to be all Alpha silverback gorilla or whatever, always in control. If that’s your thing, that’s your thing. So you decided to reassert your power by pretending the weekend dates at your country pad where we showered and made book forts and played the piano didn’t happen. You bringing me into your town apartment, where you work long after you leave the office, is showing me I am just another bit of business to get finished with. The only thing I am not sure about is whether you’re actually going to pay for sex this time, or you still expecting me to give you my ass for free? I think you’re paying this time because you want it, me, over and done with without much conversation. I think with the limited time you want to fuck me quick, get rid of me, and there’ll be no time for you messing about. Which means I win our bet.’ The man grinned widely.

‘You talk non-stop and still haven’t answered my question. Why are you here now when I didn’t book you until later?’ Sasuke was pleased his voice was ice. All his emotions listening to the whore stayed safely hidden within him.

‘I have.’ The yellowhead folded his arms. ‘Or you have by not contradicting anything I’ve said. This’ll be the last time you book me so I need to pay you back for the lateness on our first meeting. I can’t stay after, so I’ve had to come early.’

‘And I am supposed to automatically fit in with your schedule?’

‘Yep.’

‘Without any prior knowledge? I could easily have been still at work.’

‘I figured you’d give yourself at least a couple of hours to shower and get ready to see me. And I was right.’

Sasuke considered correcting him that he planned to go through reports both before and after their meeting, but it was beneath him to get into a debate with a hooker about such things. ‘I’d estimate you were between seventy eight to eighty one minutes late on our first meeting. You have turned up as you’ve said, two hours early today.’

Naruto laughed. ‘Does that mean if you fuck me fast like I reckon you’re planning to, you’ve technically got me for free anyway? Or do you want me to go downstairs and have fun with Kakashi until you’re ready to call me up, your Majesty?’

‘Hnnnnn.’ Sasuke opened his door with his fingerprint and eye scan.

Naruto continued laughing. ‘That is some futuristic sci fi stuff you’ve got there. Have you got a sex robot too? But you’ve worn all its attachments down so you need me? How come you have better security on your city place than that massive house in the country?’ The man trundled in after him, copying Sasuke in taking his shoes off straight away, but not pausing for a second in his questions. ‘Do you spend much time in this apartment? It’s cool to see both your places, I prefer the other one so far. Didn’t think I’d say that as this is so much more convenient for me to get to, but, yaknow, it’s flash and everything, but it’s like any other rich guy’s place. Whereas your house is…I don’t know…it feels like you. So you want me to strip? Shower? I am a bit sweaty, do you mind, or do you like? We’ve never got around to laying down boundaries, have we? Or you got a room you want to keep me in until my scheduled appointment? Whatever we do, you got any painkillers I can have before we start, I’ve got a killer toothache and would you believe I was so excited at seeing you again I left my own stuff behind. I’m guessing you’ve got lube and condoms?Though, right now, I want a good painkiller more.’

Sasuke led Naruto to his bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet. ‘Which tooth hurts and in what way?’

‘I’ve just got a bad molar, first one bottom right, if you’re that interested. It hasn’t hurt for a while, but just been aching recently, it gets in the way of giving good blow jobs, so stop with the questions, give me the painkillers and we’ll be off and away on our fully paid for sexual adventure.’

Sasuke raised one eyebrow, how could he complain about the one question Sasuke had asked compared to his constant flow. ‘Open your mouth.’

‘No blow jobs until after the pain killer,’ the whore replied.

‘You are standing up, are you expecting me to suddenly leap on the ceiling and stick my cock in your mouth?’

Naruto chuckled. ‘I’d be so impressed if you did.’

Sasuke took some clove oil from the cupboard and dabbed some on a cotton bud. ‘This is better for toothache than painkillers. Now open your mouth and I’ll soon start impressing you in ways that don’t involve me defying gravity.’

Naruto beamed. ‘You like _Wicked_? I like the way you always surprise me.’

The man started singing so high and off key that Sasuke had to use his willpower not to cover his ears, but somehow he found himself smiling.

‘I have never seen _Wicked_ and if I am fortunate hope never to have to endure it, or any other worthless piece of entertainment. But I do want to see your mouth wide open right now.’

Naruto gave a little growl. ‘This will really stop the pain?’

‘Yes. For a while, but if you have a persistent toothache you need to see your dentist.’

‘I don’t have a dentist. I have painkillers. Cheaper and just as effective.’ He opened his mouth incredibly wide.

Sasuke decided to put aside the lecture on the stupidity of not having proper dental care, and take advantage of it before the man started talking again. Although he really should be taking advantage of this man’s mouth in another way. That would come soon.

He dabbed at the tooth the man mentioned. Naruto hurtled back screaming.

‘Hell! Hell! Hell! Do you hate me so much? Hell! Sasuke! Hell! We really needed to set up that boundary thing before you went straight into S and M with no warning.’

Sasuke took his phone out and sent a message. He got an immediate reply.

He walked forward, took his hooker’s hand and led him back out to the hallway.

‘Put your shoes on.’

‘Torture me and then throw me out? You are such a fucking bastard, that just so you know, totally and utterly and once for all, I am never going to actually fuck.’ Despite the complaint, Naruto tried to put his shoes back on one handed, while keeping one hand gingerly covering his face.

With a heavy sigh, Sasuke dropped to his knees and put the whore’s shoes on for him. ‘Now, just be quiet, and follow me. Why are you talking so much when your tooth is so sensitive? Your jaw must be in agony.’

‘Why couldn’t you just give me a painkiller like a normal, decent guy would?’

Sasuke took his hand again and pulled him forward. He went down in the elevator rather than taking the stairs as he normally would have. In the small space he noticed more than he had before, how cool Naruto’s skin was against his, and how rough in contrast to Sasuke’s own smooth hands. And also beyond that how natural it felt to hold the other man’s hand, something he could never remember doing with anyone else. He could have just yanked him along by his elbow, or steered him with a hand on his back. There was no reason for him to have held the whore’s hand. And to keep holding it as they were doing nothing but standing still watching the lights count the floors down. But he didn’t let go. Not until he had taken the other man to his car and sat him in the passenger seat, and even then instead of pulling away, he founding himself bent at an awkward angle with his fingers still linked with Naruto’s.

It was the hooker who actually moved his hand away, though his cheeks blushed as if he’d just made a move on Sasuke rather than broke physical contact. Sasuke went around to the driver’s side and quickly got the car into gear, pretending he didn’t notice his own cheeks were red when he checked the mirrors.

They were in silence for a full five minutes before the yellowhead started talking again.

‘So…um…what exactly is going on? Did I scream too loud? Even though your place is as expensive as they come, is all the money spent on flashy exteriors and there is not actually great noise protection between floors, and you have a sweet but nosey old lady who lives below you and stands with a glass to the ceiling every time you bring a guy home, so you have to take me to an abandoned warehouse to continue your fetish of hurting my teeth?’

‘Close. Very close. But instead of an abandoned warehouse I am taking you to the best dentist in the city.’

The other man turned white, he grabbed Sasuke’s wrist so suddenly and tightly, that if Sasuke hadn’t been strong and a skilled driver he would have swerved into the next lane.

‘Please can we do the abandoned warehouse thing. Anything. I mean anything. Just not the dentist. I mean…I mean…I can’t afford it.’

‘It’s fine. I’ll pay. Completely pay. You owe me nothing in return. But this is what we’re doing. If you call me an Alpha silverback gorilla you have to expect to do whatever I want.’

‘Why? Why would you leave it for so long until you book me for the night and then force me to go to the dentist?’ The hooker gazed at him with open disbelief.

‘Let’s just say, now that I know you’re in pain, and you’re clearly not going to do anything about it on your own, I have an overwhelming sexual urge to see a dentist put their hands in your mouth and stop that pain.’ Sasuke increased his grip on the steering wheel. It was the best question the man had asked so far. _Why_ was he taking his whore to his own dentist?

‘Sasuke…I really really don’t like dentists,’ Naruto said quietly. ‘Thank you for…just thanks, but no thanks. Please just drop me off somewhere. Anywhere.’

‘Naruto, no. You have a beautiful smile, and I am not going to let that get ruined because of a ridiculous fear.’

‘You think I have a beautiful smile?’ Naruto asked in an uncharacteristically reedy voice. Then he laughed loudly. ‘Fuck did I just say that? And did it sound as pathetic to you as it did to me?’

  ‘No. It didn’t,’ Sasuke replied honestly. ‘Look, whatever dentists you’ve had in the past, I am confident you’ll find Shizune a completely different experience. She is highly…’

‘She? Your dentist is a woman?’

Sasuke frowned. ‘That’s a problem for you?’

‘The opposite.’ Naruto took a deep breath. ‘Okay, babes, I am going to do this for you. I’ll see the dentist because you obviously want it so much. But if anything ever does happen between us, you owe me the most amazing hand job. And blow job. And I like it when my nipples are nibbled and I don’t think I’ll be averse to your tongue exploring my ass. And you can…’

‘I get the idea. But why would I…’

The hooker continued talking over him. ‘Suck my toes, one at a time, or all at once, your preference, both can work for me. Obviously only if you’ve got skills. It’s not a treat for me if I have to fake it when you…’

‘You will _never_ have to fake it with me,’ Sasuke interrupted loud enough to be heard over the whore’s foghorn voice. ‘If I want to give you pleasure, you will _feel_ pleasure.’

The yellowhead smiled. ‘Cool, that’s a relief. Okay I am going to close my eyes and try and relax thinking about how you’re going to reward me for being brave and doing what you want.’ He pulled his legs up on the seat in a crossed legs position, pressed his fingers together in a meditation pose, and did indeed shut his eyes.

Sasuke looked at him without turning his head away from the road. He didn’t correct the hooker about how wrong he’d got everything, that Sasuke was taking him to a dentist as a huge favour, and that the hooker was supposed to please Sasuke not the other way around.

The only reason he had booked another date….no, appointment, not date…was to rectify the whole situation with this man, he was not one to leave loose ends hanging. He had managed to square with himself that it was perfectly acceptable for successful attractive people to pay for sex, the same way they paid for personal trainers and chefs. Sasuke himself didn’t employ any of those type of people, but he understood. It was simply for the convenience and time saving. Besides it would only be this one occasion for him. He’d fuck the man in the living room, not even taking him to the bedroom, no need to fully undress him, just get access to the part he wanted, take him hard from behind. Then when he finished send the whore away and continue with his work. Simple and efficient.

Except for the part where Sasuke was driving the whore to a dentist instead of pounding his ass into the floor.

It was the fact that he’d turned up early, Sasuke hadn’t been mentally prepared. But why the hell did he have to be mentally prepared for a fuckdate when he was never caught off guard in any situation that actually mattered?

He was saved from solving the problem…for now…by the arrival at the dentist. He parked up, but the man made no move to get out of the car. Sasuke walked around and opened the passenger door for him. Naruto still didn’t move from his meditative position.

‘Idiot. We’re here. You can think of me sucking you off in your own time.’

Naruto opened one eye then the other. ‘You were doing much nicer things in my mind than taking me to the dentist.’

Sasuke pulled him out of the car. ‘Come on and don’t embarrass me. I know you’re not a coward.’

‘You don’t know anything about me,’ the whore said in a voice that was a strange mixture of sulking, accepting, and accusative.

‘I know you had a lonely childhood. I know there’s been many times when you’ve been hungry and have had no idea where your next meal is coming from. I know people have been cruel to you. I know you try and hide how much they’ve hurt you by being louder and smiling more. I know you don’t look after yourself as well as you should and no one notices because you’re always laughing and making the people around you feel happy. Is that enough, or do you want me to go on? You’re not the only one who can read other people, Naruto.’ Sasuke surprised himself by the flow of words, they were things he had never consciously thought about the hooker before. He surprised himself more by what he said next though. ‘I think you’ve had a very bad experience with a dentist, but I am with you now. I’ll hold your hand and be there the whole time, and it’ll be worth it not just because of your toothache, but because you are too good to be held back in any way by something some piece of shit did to you years ago.’

Naruto gazed at him with those wide blue eyes. Sasuke grabbed his hand and took him up to Shizune, before he became any more lost being with this man than he already was.

He remained with Naruto through the whole procedure, Shizune knew him well enough to be entirely professional, but her assistant raised her eyebrows more than once as she had to work around Sasuke standing all the time at Naruto’s side. Naruto obeyed all the instructions although his eyes were always looking at or searching for Sasuke, he didn’t seem to be aware of anyone else in the room, despite what was being done.

It was only walking back down to the car that Sasuke realised how much the anaesthetic had affected the other man. Naruto wobbled and relied on Sasuke for support.

‘The nice woman said I can’t eat for hours and hours! And I haven’t eaten today or yesterday.’ Naruto giggled.

‘Why not?’ Sasuke asked as he more or less folded Naruto back into his car.

Naruto giggled more. ‘You’ve never been a bottom have you, Sassy? I was guessing you’d be all wanting to prove that you don’t like me by fucking me really hard like yaknow, _quieres follarte al estilo perrito_?’ He covered his mouth and made little tittering noises. ‘Is that right? I haven’t had a Spanish speaking lover for a while.’

Naruto mumbled more that Sasuke couldn’t make out. Which may have been for the best. He went to the driver’s side and drove them home…no, not home, only his home, his apartment, as Naruto laughed and carried on a conversation that Sasuke couldn’t follow.

It was only when he had Naruto curled up on his sofa with a blanket over him, that Naruto started to make sense again.

‘It wasn’t the dentist that hurt me. I think that’s what you think, and you think wrong. It was me that hurt him. Because he hurt the one person who was kind to me back then. He liked kids. He knocked them out because he could. He actually had license to. And then…and then I got an appointment with him. Which was difficult because like, I guess I wasn’t pretty enough for him, but I guess he had to see me eventually because it looked too odd not to. And then….his back was turned…he had all these sharp things on a tray by me…I grabbed them…quick…l felt like I had claws…was an animal…and…and how much hate was in me. That was what scared me…how much hate was in me. I didn’t know…I didn’t know until then that there was a monster in me. But then everyone knew I was a demon monster child, that they’d been right to always hate me, and they locked me away.’ Naruto stretched his hands above his head. ‘So do we fuck now?’

‘No. No, we do not fuck now.’ Sasuke knelt in front of the sofa so his eyes were level with the yellowhead’s. He stroked his hand through the other man’s hair.

‘Why not? Isn’t this like our third date? I am not good at maths but I can count to three! That’s like when normal people who are dating have sex isn’t it? I don’t do normal dating, but I like saw it on like a show, a comedy or something, about a guy having a third date with a girl and being excited about fucking her. Except he never says he’s going to fuck her, because it’s not that kind of show. Though it is that kind of show.’ Naruto looked confused and then smiled. ‘But, yeah tell, me, in the real world, is that a real thing, fucking on the third date?’

‘I don’t do normal dating either so I wouldn’t know. _You_ are probably the closest thing I’ve ever had to a boyfriend.’

Naruto laughed and laughed, and Sasuke found himself joining in.

‘We should fuck, it’ll make a change being fucked by my closest-thing-I’ve-had-to-a-boyfriend rather than just a plain old client.’ Naruto sat up. ‘I like even wore my normal clothes for you because I noticed you didn’t compliment me or like check out my ass as much when I wore a suit for you as you did on our first date.’

‘You were naked most of our first date,’ Sasuke protested still laughing, ‘I couldn’t _not_ check out your ass!’

‘And like I tried to impress you saying I did MMA thinking you’d like ask me what that was, and I could show you a few moves, and say how I’ve been asked to go professional a few times, and you’d be all “Wow, that’s amazing”…in your head obviously, because you don’t say much out loud, but I’d see it in your eyes, yaknow, how great you thought I was, but then you didn’t say anything, but were all grouchy about me just being here, even though you booked me and…why didn’t you phone me, Sasuke? I really thought, you showing me your real library and… on the roof, you reading to me…I really thought it was something special?’

Sasuke looked to the side for a moment before meeting the man’s gaze again. ‘You should rest. You’re talkative enough normally without the anaesthetic loosening your tongue further.’

‘I think I get it, but I wanted you to say it so I know I’ve got it. It’s scary being vulnerable, right? I woke up in the middle of the night so many times after our first date, yaknow, with a hard on, but also like in a cold sweat, trying to understand why the hell I’d told you my real name. I’ve never, ever done that. Never, ever, ever, even been anywhere close to that, not even in the same country, not even on the same planet, as doing that! But with you it just slipped out like it was the right and only thing to say. Why didn’t you call me? Why still use Suigetsu as your go-between like I am just another thing for one of your minions to deal with?’

Sasuke walked away from Naruto, he went to another room, wrote on a piece of paper, and came back immediately without giving himself pause to think about what he was doing. He folded the paper up and put it in Naruto’s pocket.

‘That’s my personal number. I am often busy so won’t answer it, but leave a message and I will get it. I’ll pay your fee and tips the usual way, but you can be in charge of contacting me and arranging when we next meet.’

Naruto touched the pocket where Sasuke had placed it, his eyes looking for a moment like he was going to cry, but then he laughed again and threw his arms around Sasuke’s neck. ‘If you don’t want to fuck me, at least let me have a third date kiss.’

Naruto’s lips were on Sasuke’s before Sasuke could reply. His mouth was hot, his lips gentle, but his tongue probing and hungry. Sasuke’s cock responded first, immediately hardening, but before his own mouth and tongue could answer Naruto’s, the blonde fell back with a huge groan and his head in his hands.

‘Oh fuck, I am so sorry, baby, you told me you don’t do kissing. I am so so sorry, I’ve got excuses like all the emotions and the drugs and whatever, but there are no excuses, I cannot be sorry enough, can you please forgive me?’

Sasuke sat down next to Naruto on the sofa and drew the man against his chest. ‘Don’t worry about it. I think maybe we should just take things slow though. And definitely not do anything when you’re high from dentist’s drugs.’

Naruto kept mumbling sorry until he fell asleep in Sasuke’s arms. Sasuke kept stroking the other man’s hair.

He was unsure for the first time who he, Sasuke Uchiha, was.

A man who took his whore to the dentist. A man who told his whore they should ‘take things slow’ when by their third date they had been naked together in the shower, kissed by accident, kissed on purpose, and sat out under the stars reading _Peter Pan_ , but had not got anywhere close to sex.

He fell into a confused doze, filled with images of him and Naruto that made no sense but gave him a sense of peace. Sasuke wasn’t aware he had fallen asleep properly, but one moment Naruto was in his arms, the next he wasn’t and he was alone in his apartment with a blanket wrapped incredibly tightly around him as if the person who’d done it didn’t know the difference between tucking in and mummification.

Sasuke stared up at his ceiling and swore several times, then stopped as he realised how wasted it was when the person it was directed against had vanished. Again. What level of hell had he ended up in, that he was cursed to date the Cinderella of gay whores? Not that they were dating…they were business associates in a transaction that millions  and millions of people traded in. He looked around the empty room. He wished he hadn’t given the whore his number. Because now that he’d done that he would have to wait and hope his…business associate…chose to call him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everything came out all right, I had a bit of technical problem uploading this chapter! It is always nerve wracking sharing work, but even more so when the computer is doing odd things I am too stupid to understand!
> 
> Anyway I really hope you enjoy, thank you for continuing to read, and all the feedback and kudos you sprinkle on me really brightens up my life and encourages me to keep writing x


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short (for me!) little chapter just to show the two men slowly slowly continuing to move together...maybe in about a hundred chapters they might both admit how much they fancy the pants off each other! :)
> 
> I hope you enjoy x

Sasuke was awake and preparing for the day by 5am. When he went into his bathroom, his first thought was a memory of the previous evening; putting clove oil on Naruto’s tooth. Somehow it seemed more intimate now thinking about it than it had at the time.

At the time, it had seemed…the natural thing to do.

As he showered he tried to assess the situation dispassionately and factually. He’d done this many times between their dates, and had truly thought that last night would be the final time he’d see the man, that a paid for fuck would demonstrate finally to his rebellious emotions that Naruto was nothing more than someone he had a passing desire for. The only difference was how long this thing had dragged out for; normally Sasuke felt lust for someone, fucked them and forgot them. Half the year had passed by since Suigetsu, (damn him and his knowing shark smile to a life of enforced chastity), had first shown him that video.

Half a year. And still nothing turned him on as much as remembering the hooker being naked with him. He tilted his head backwards with a groan that was half pleasure and half despair. He could barely believe he’d had such a fine body so close to him, teasing him, twerking that perfectly curved ass, and he hadn’t possessed and taken him. It should have been so easy. He’d paid for him! But somehow it had turned out to be so difficult.

Almost without thinking he reached down and ran his hand over his erection in quick movements which were almost more efficient than sexual.  He leaned against the cold tiles of the wall and closed his eyes imagining how different it would feel if the hooker was touching him. Naruto was so enthusiastic about everything, how would all that loud bounciness translate into sexual energy.

His other hand moved down and rubbed over the head of his cock as he wanked with increased speed and intention.  Images of Naruto’s lips flashed into Sasuke’s mind, along with a vision of the way Naruto had looked down at the man whose cock he was riding in that cursed video. What would it feel like to have Naruto look at him like that as they fucked?

Sasuke bit down on his lip as pleasure caused through his body. But before it reached its peak, the sound of his personal phone rang through the bathroom.

He looked up in surprise, he didn’t remember picking up the phone and bringing it in with him, let alone changing its normal silent tone to ring. Why would he do such a thing?

Naruto.

He jumped out of the shower and grabbed for his phone before it went to the answer service.

‘Hello?’

‘Sasuke? Is that you?’

Sasuke gritted his teeth together. ‘Who were you expecting? Idiot, what have you done, come in after a night partying, and dialled me by mistake?’

‘You know better than that, my nights are for work, not partying. And, yaknow, it’s just that it’s early…I only phoned this early because I thought I remembered you saying something about how you wouldn’t  answer ever and I was just to leave you a message…I didn’t mean to wake you or whatever. I didn’t expect to actually speak to you.’

There was silence between them. Sasuke strained his ears to listen to the other man’s breathing.

Finally Naruto laughed. ‘Even a phone call between us is weird, these things are generally supposed to involve talking and conversation, yaknow, your sexy stares don’t work the same way unless you want to video call, and, trust me on this, you really don’t want to do that! It was a hard night last night and I’ve only just finished. I’m only fit for blind drunk people to see right now.’

Sasuke swallowed and had to concentrate to ensure his voice sounded normal. ‘You went to a… _client_ after you left me? Why would you do that? You should have left more time for the dentist drugs to work through your system and…’

‘I’m not looking for a Sugar Daddy, Sasuke. I don’t need anyone to look after me.’ The man’s voice was a growl, and Sasuke jerked away from the phone as if he’d been physically hurt by the voice.

Sasuke’s eyes narrowed as he pressed the phone back to his ear. ‘I am _not_ looking to be your Sugar Daddy. If you recall anything about our time together, it should be that I want you to fuck me because it’ll make you happy, not because of what you can get out of me.’

‘Really? Do you mean that?’ Naruto’s voice was soft and sweet in contrast to his roughness of moments ago.

‘Yes.’ Sasuke replied firmly despite his brow creasing trying to work out what he could have said to bring about the change.

‘Wow. Baby, wow. I kinda….I kinda…yaknow…but I didn’t let myself dream too much…yaknow, I kept telling myself that you did that whole thing about not paying for sex because of your ego…but it’s because you…because you really care about me being happy?’ Naruto’s voice went into a croak as if he was going to cry but he laughed instead. 

Sasuke’s own throat was dry. Before he could correct the man and tell him that was not what he’d intended to say at all, the hooker kept on talking.

‘Sorry if I sounded moody before. I told you, didn’t I, on our first date, that I’m not great without sleep, and it has been a hella long night. It’s really nice that, yaknow, we just cuddled together and you didn’t want anything from me, it was special having that break with you. You know I appreciate it, right?’

There was a small pause when Sasuke might have been able to say one word, but then Naruto’s voice trundled on.

‘Especially now I know it’s because you’re not just another arrogant rich prick, but someone who…yaknow…what you said about caring about me. And…this isn’t the conversation for the phone is it? I was actually nervous about ringing you, thinking that maybe I imagined it all as I was a bit dazed. So I had to do it straight away before I lost my courage. Stupid, isn’t it? But also I thought if I left it too long you might have second thoughts, because whatever else is going on, I know you don’t trust hookers, and then you’d change your number and never contact me again…which I guess you can still do actually…you won’t do that will you, Sasuke?’

This time it was a proper pause.

Sasuke waited a few breaths before he said, ‘Do you want to meet again?’

‘Yeah…um…yeah. That’s why I rung. Obviously. I think I remember the dentist woman said I needed more appointments and as you have a dentist fetish thing, I thought you might want to take me?’

Sasuke looked down at his naked wet body, through the whole conversation his cock had remained hard, pre-cum glistening at the end. He needed to tell the whore now, before this messy misunderstanding continued any further that the only thing he was interested in doing was fucking him.

‘I’ll organise that,’ he said.

‘Cool. Cool. Hey, I made things difficult for Suigetsu, so I’ll fit in with you this time. You make the appointments and I’ll make myself free. Shall I ring you again or…’

‘I’ve got your number now, I can phone you back when I’ve arranged it with Shizune.’

‘I’m a bit like you, working odd hours and I’m often in situations when I can’t answer the phone, so just leave a message.’

Sasuke pinched the bridge of his nose. He hadn’t been able to stop himself imagining the type of situations Naruto would be in that meant he couldn’t answer his phone.

‘I’ll send you a text,’ Sasuke said tersely.

‘No, leave a message, please.’

‘What so you can blackmail me?’ The words sounded sharp in the empty bathroom, Sasuke hit the wall with his spare hand, why had he said such a stupid thing.

‘Yep. That’s what this is all about. I’m a hustler and I’ve worked out that the best way to get your money is to get a voicemail as proof that you don’t actually fuck whores you take them to the dentist! You just do whatever you want, I’m way too tired to navigate your crap this morning. I just liked the idea of being able to listen to your voice when I’m not with you…which is almost all of the time. Why the hell couldn’t you be a normal man and be a tiny bit nice and leave me feeling good?’ The phone went dead.

Sasuke hit the wall again. ‘And why the hell couldn’t you be a normal man and just do your fucking job and leave _me_ feeling good?’

He threw his phone to the floor and got back in the shower. He tried to wank himself again, forcing himself to think of past lovers, but his non-lover Naruto kept appearing with his stupid grin and big blue eyes. In the end he gave up and just scrubbed himself extra vigorously before continuing his preparations for the day.

Late afternoon he took the unusual step of making time for some personal calls.  The last of which wasn’t answered. He put the phone down, but less than a minute later redialed it and in his huskiest most seductive voice left Naruto the dates and times of his next dentist appointments.


	6. Chapter 6

Sasuke was aware of the appreciative looks he received, walking out of the office, in the same way that he was aware that the sky was blue and the sun was hot. But still he checked himself out in the mirrored elevator with a critical eye. At some point in the morning, when he was thinking about his upcoming date with Naruto, (otherwise known as taking a hooker to the dentist and paying for it, as well as the uncertain pleasure of his company), he was struck with the sudden thought that Naruto had not actually shown any evidence of sexual attraction towards him.

It wasn’t just the shower, when they’d been naked together, and Naruto had shown no interest in doing anything other than teasing him, it was…everything. When he thought seriously about it, he realised that amongst all Naruto’s loud and constant chatter, the only references he made to Sasuke being attractive were jokes and rejections, most frequently taunting him that ‘because Sasuke considered himself hot, he expected Naruto to sleep with him for free.’ Which, Naruto was determined not to do. And had the man ever checked him out? Not even once.

But no, that wasn’t _quite_ right. There had been those strange instances between them, when a casual touch transformed into an intense heated moment. Naruto gazed at him in those brief, electric seconds as if he wanted Sasuke. However, even then, it wasn’t with the same desire that other people hungered after him with, it was something else that Sasuke couldn’t define.

Sasuke didn’t know what to think, what to feel, about someone he wanted sexually not necessarily feeling the same way. It was an entirely new experience. He didn’t even know why it bothered him. It would be simple enough to discover the truth of the situation, and then he could either fuck the man, or walk away from him. Sasuke was never going to be someone who wasted time and money on someone who didn’t reciprocate his attraction.

Before he walked out of the lift, he checked his reflection again and ran his hand through his hair, smoothing down a few strands that were out of place.

He picked Naruto up from outside a diner - or rather, he was supposed to pick Naruto up from outside a diner. He parked up and waited, trying (and failing) not to look through the window to where the loud yellow-head was laughing with two tall, hugely muscled men. Was that his type? It would explain why he wasn’t attracted to Sasuke’s slimmer build. An image of the strong men tag-teaming Naruto arose vividly into Sasuke’s head.

Without planning to, Sasuke hit the horn of his car. Naruto looked around, his face serious, but he winked when he saw Sasuke. He gave each of the men fist bumps. Sasuke smiled, if Naruto cared for someone he’d certainly be more affectionate than that, the man was a definite hugger…not that he hugged Sasuke goodbye, he just disappeared while Sasuke was sleeping. Sasuke stopped smiling at the thought.

Naruto bounced into the car and beamed over at Sasuke. ‘You’re early. I’m going to have to charge you for these extra ten minutes, you know I don’t give out freebies.’

Sasuke pulled off, pushing down on the gas probably more than was necessary. ‘Forgive the intrusion, I didn’t realise you’d be with clients before me.’

Naruto’s brow creased up, then he laughed his foghorn laugh. ‘You think they’re my clients? A and Killer B are my _friends_. It was really cool, we met by chance, they were just passing and....’

‘And do you have many _friends_ that wear one shoulder vest tops, or that walk around with their shirts open?’

Naruto’s eyes narrowed and he looked like he was going to snap back at Sasuke, but instead he relaxed into a laugh, ‘I don’t really notice, but now that you mention it, a lot of my friends do dress a little crazily. They can’t all be snazzy fashionistas like me.’ He patted the bright orange jumpsuit he was wearing. Then with an exaggerated pout and husky whisper he asked, ‘Don’t you like the open shirt look?’

He pulled the zipper of his jumpsuit down tantalisingly slowly.

Sasuke swallowed, managing to keep his eyes forward on the road. ‘It is tacky, cheap and desperate.’

‘Out of interest, is wearing no underwear, tacky, cheap and desperate too?’

Sasuke couldn’t prevent himself glancing sideways and seeing that Naruto had pulled the zip all the way down below his navel.  The blood raced to Sasuke’s groin at the sight of the sculpted abs, let alone the thought of how easy it would be to reach his hand across, dipping it down below the blonde’s clothes, and feeling that thick cock which he had yet to touch.

Sasuke forced his gaze away and spoke in his nonchalant, controlled voice. ‘Out of interest, are you trying to seduce me to win your bet and make me pay for a fuck, or is it to avoid me taking you to the dentist?’

Naruto chuckled and pulled his zip up in one swift movement. ‘Neither. Both. I don’t know. I was just trying to tease you a bit because you were being snarky about my friends.’

‘Do you ever do anything but tease?’ Sasuke asked.

‘Yep. With everyone but you. You’re special, sugar.’ Naruto beamed his brightest smile.

And despite the surges of frustration, annoyance, and more frustration, for some reason Sasuke smiled too.

 

When they reached the dentist, Naruto acted normally, or what appeared to be normal for him; leaping out of the car, mocking Sasuke’s driving and parking (even though both were perfect), strutting along with his hands linked behind his head, and booming out in his loud voice how his amazing cock-sucking skills were being wasted by hooking up with a freaky guy with a freaky dentist fetish.

Sasuke rolled his eyes, but walked beside the man and said in a voice much softer than his normal tone, ‘I don’t want to be pushy, especially as you’re being so kind as to indulge in my wildest, most deprived, fantasies, but I’d like it best if I could hold your hand like I did last time.’

Naruto stopped and stood still, staring at Sasuke with widened blue eyes for a long moment. ‘If it gets you hard, that’s kinda my job,’ he said in a gruff voice. He dropped his arms to his side. ‘As long as you know it’s all for your benefit and has nothing to do with how I might have been last time, or anything I might have said to you.’

‘I know.’

Naruto reached his hand out and Sasuke responded so that their fingertips touched, lingering, before they entwined.

Outside Shizune’s office, Sasuke paused and, without looking at the other man, said, ‘As long as _you_ know you can be yourself with me, whether that’s in your thrift shop clothes or designer suits, loudly bragging or curled up in my arms, brave or scared, whatever you feel like, I am by your side.’

He walked quickly through the door before Naruto had a chance to respond, or indeed, he himself had a chance to think too much about what he’d just said.

The appointment went smoothly; they walked out as they’d walked in, holding hands.

At the car, Naruto coughed a couple of times, then slipped his hand away from Sasuke. ‘So, um, are you happy dropping me back at the diner, or do you want me to find my own way, which, yaknow isn’t a problem at all?’

Sasuke’s eyes widened. ‘You don’t want to come back to my place?’ He ground his teeth at the notes of audible surprise and pleading that were made apparent by both his voice and body language.

‘I kinda didn’t like to assume you’d want me for any longer - I just freed myself up for the appointments you gave me.’ The hooker shrugged.

‘Have you booked a client in straight after me?’ Sasuke’s lips barely moved as he spoke.

‘What does it matter? I don’t ask you to cancel all your meetings just because you’re seeing me the same day.’ The whore stared upwards.  ‘Hey, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked you for a lift like we’re friends or something. I’ll see you next time for some more dental turn-ons.’

Naruto walked off, lifting his hand in goodbye, but not turning back to look at Sasuke.

Sasuke watched him until he was out of sight. It was only when he was gone and Sasuke was driving home alone, that he thought that Naruto’s gait had seemed different, slower, his shoulders hunched over. Had he wanted Sasuke to go after him, stop him…and then what? Give him a lift to his next ‘date’?

Sasuke tried to examine the situation and pinpoint the exact place it’d gone wrong, the thing he should have done differently. At least Naruto hadn’t waited until Sasuke was asleep before he left. He got a goodbye. But not a hug. Not even a fist bump.

 

***

‘Did you hear Shizune say how great my teeth were?’ Naruto had been talking nonstop since Sasuke had picked him up from outside a gym today.

Sasuke wasn’t even certain if the man would be quiet long enough for Shizune to do her work. He _had_ managed that, barring a fit of giggles when Shizune had questioned him about his oral routine and the dumb yellowhead misunderstood what she wanted to know. But the dentist appointment was finished and he was back to the constant chatter. It was a definite skill the hooker possessed, to be able to speak so much and totally fail to say anything of even marginal significance.

‘Did you hear her say that I didn’t need to see her again until six months’ time because my teeth are soooo amazing? How often do _you_ have to see the dentist, Sasuke?’

‘Shizune has told me twenty-four months, but I never leave it more than a year between check-ups.’

‘Oh.’ Naruto slumped, then he rubbed the back of his head, giving a shy smile. ‘She did say I could see a dental hygienist for whatever they do, so you could book an appointment for one of those…if you don’t want to wait six months before we do this again? That is, if this is our thing, yaknow.’

Sasuke gave a shake of his head. ‘This isn’t our _thing_. We don’t have a _thing_. Now do you want a lift anywhere, or are you happy on your own?’

Naruto looked him up and down. ‘I’m good on my own thank you very much, Mr. Uchiha.’

Naruto marched off. Sasuke didn’t watch him disappear this time, he got immediately into his car. It was lucky that Naruto had refused since he had his own appointment with his tailor; he had new clothes to collect.

His willpower held and he did not think of the man that had plagued his thoughts over the past months, until he drove into the station car park where his heart started thumping. It continued to thump as he parked up and got his weekend case out of the boot. If anything, it thumped harder as he strode towards the station entrance.

The man was there, facing away from Sasuke, the sun catching his hair and highlighting the golden tones. Sasuke’s heart stopped thumping, it felt as if it stopped beating. He was on the verge of turning on his heel and removing himself from this situation once and for all, when Naruto turned around and saw him.

The man’s face lit up and he ran towards him. He held out his arms as if he was going to hug Sasuke but instead put his hands on Sasuke’s shoulders.

‘Wow! You look so great! What happened to open shirts being tacky, cheap and desperate?’  Naruto’s widened blue eyes were gazing at Sasuke’s revealed torso.

Sasuke stopped himself smiling as the other man finally seemed to be appreciating Sasuke’s body. But the tone of his voice, revealed his emotions. ‘If it’s what you like, I can be tacky, cheap and desperate for you anytime.’

Naruto’s cheeks coloured, then he laughed. ‘Don’t feed me that line, you’re dressed like this because you want everyone to know how hot your bod is. And also why would you think I liked that look? Not that I don’t like, but…but…yaknow, I am so happy to see you here. It made my chest ache thinking things were going to end with you being a mean bastard and me having a sulk.’ His eyes dulled slightly and he stepped away, dropping his arms back to his side. ‘Look, I can’t do this with you right now, I’m due to meet a client for the whole weekend. Can I ring you when I’ve finished working?’ He stared down at the ground.  ‘Secret time. You know our fourth date, the one that wasn’t today?’

‘It may surprise you but counting to four is within my skill set.’

Naruto gave a small chuckle. ‘If you thought I was seeing someone after you…I didn’t actually have another client. I’d blocked myself out to be entirely with you…but it kinda went a bit…I don’t know, it’s like I tried to say to you, I didn’t want you to think I was assuming anything.  And I’d done the same today, but my boss, well, got real bossy, and insisted I take on this new client, and as it went wrong last time with you after the dentist, I thought I might as well.’ Naruto gave one of his big grins. ‘You know what I do, I don’t know why I suddenly feel all shy talking about it to you. And I’m spending too long talking to you, no wonder you don’t think I’m a professional! I’m a little nervous to start with as it’s real unusual to spend so long with someone at a first meet, and he’s due any minute, so I need to step away from you, and if we see each other inside the station or whatever, act like you don’t clock me please. We can talk later though, right?’

Sasuke grabbed hold of Naruto’s wrist. ‘I want to talk to you now.’

‘I want to talk to you too,’ the man’s voice was hoarse. ‘But I’ve just explained, I can’t. I have responsibilities way beyond my own desires. So, can you let go of me, Sasuke? Don’t ruin the luck of us seeing each other again and make it worse than it was at the dentist’s.’

‘Would you stay with me if you could?’ Sasuke stared into those blue eyes.

Naruto opened his mouth then closed it, then opened it again. ‘I don’t have time for this.’

‘Then answer me quickly.’

Naruto sighed heavily. ‘Yes. You know, in another life, I would.’

‘You should get back to your case, people are starting to look at it. You are such an idiot running off and leaving it there.’ Sasuke let go of the other man.

Naruto nodded, his mouth a serious straight line, and then jogged back to his luggage.

Sasuke walked past him, not looking at him again. Inside the station, he leaned against a pillar and breathed heavily for a full minute. He waited another five minutes before walking back outside and tapping Naruto on the shoulder.

Naruto’s face couldn’t decide whether to smile or frown. His voice was more definite, a low growl, ‘Piss off, Sasuke, I’m working.’

‘Secret time. Senor Jugo is going to stand you up. He is a very trustworthy old associate of Suigetsu’s and mine. I wanted to make you wait seventy-eight minutes, the same as you did to me on our first date, but I’m concerned you don’t have the patience and would run off, ruining my plans for the whole weekend.’

Naruto’s face continued to oscillate between smiles and frowns. ‘If you’re saying what I think you’re saying, why did you screw about with me? Why all the cloaks and daggers? You could’ve booked me in your own name? Or if you were worried that I’d say no if I knew it was you, which I wouldn’t have by the way, at least you could’ve told me outright today. You could’ve told me when you picked me up for the dentist appointment? Or even when…’

‘I wasn’t certain, until now, of what I was going to do. And maybe you can’t understand how unsettling that is for me. Before I met you, I was confident about everything.’ He took a few deep breaths and stroked his hand over Naruto’s. ‘As your client hasn’t turned up, will you please spend your time with me as a continuation of our fifth date? I can’t promise it’ll reach the heights of me watching you having your teeth checked, but I’ll try and make it fun for you.’

Naruto sucked his lips into his mouth and made some humming noises. Then he threw his arms into the air. ‘Hell, who am I trying to kid, pretending to play it cool and making you fry a bit! We both know I’m going to say yes.’ He wagged his finger in front of Sasuke’s face. ‘But, so you’re clear, I expect to be paid double for the way you made me sweat. Your mysterious no-show, this Senor Jugo, didn’t cancel in time so he owes, and you’re benefitting from the pleasure of being with me so you can cough up the usual fee too.’

Sasuke exhaled. ‘I’ll pay triple if that’s what it takes.’

Naruto laughed. ‘How are you a businessman? That was like the worse negotiation ever.’ Then his laughter became a bit quieter and shyer. ‘So what do we do now?’

Sasuke picked up both his own and Naruto’s cases. ‘We get on a train and see where it takes us.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you as ever for continuing to read, and I get wildly excited and inspired when kudos goes over a 100, so big big thanks for that too.
> 
> And huge hugs for MrJonesandMe who stayed up late to edit this chapter for me and hopefully make it easier for y'all to read with correct grammar and spellings and all those things writers are supposed to be good at :D


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto and Sasuke spend a long weekend together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of my long chapters, and has a lot fitted in, so I hope it's not too long and that you enjoy the way their relationship is progressing, (or as often with these two not progressing!), so extra big thanks for continuing to read and comment you have no idea how much it means to me.

Sasuke looked out of the train window at the scenery speeding past. Although he refused to look in that direction, he couldn’t block out the blare of his ‘date’ doing an idiotic juggling act out of screwed up trash for some kid who’d been wailing her head off because…

No. Sasuke did not care, would _not_ waste any more time thinking about it. It was bad enough that they were almost at the end of the journey, and Naruto had spent the whole time talking to strangers – leaning over chairs, striking up random conversations, even going to sit with someone who ‘looked sooo lonely,’ apparently oblivious to the fact that doing so left Sasuke on his own.

When the train reached their stop, Sasuke got off without checking whether the whore had noticed.  He paused for a single second on the platform before striding onwards.

Feet pounded after him and an arm wrapped around his waist. ‘You’re like the weirdest person in the world, you do all this secretive crap to get me for the weekend, and then you storm off without waiting for me.’

Sasuke wanted to snap back about how thus far he was paying for the whore to counsel everyone on the train with a sideline in kids’ entertainment, but Naruto’s touch was distractingly firm and warm. Sasuke yearned for the hooker to be touching him beneath his shirt. Could he drag the idiot into the station restroom and fuck him right here and now? He glanced sideways at the man.

‘Where’s your case, idiot?’

Naruto stepped away from Sasuke and turned around, his head twisting from one side to another.

‘Hnnnn. It’s not going to magically appear. You’ve left it on the train.’ Sasuke quickly sent a few texts to ensure that it was not mistaken for a bomb and detonated, which would no doubt result in showering all the unsuspecting disposal professionals in neon orange confetti. Even if he knew little else about the man, his favourite colour was unfortunately obvious.

Naruto stood with his hands on his hips. ‘That’s your fault for marching off without me. I had to rush to make sure I got off the train with you.’

‘Yes. It is entirely my fault that you are incapable of doing the only thing that is your responsibility on this holiday: keeping hold of your luggage.’

Naruto made some grumbling noises. ‘What happened to the gentlemanly person who carried my case on…’ His eyes widened. ‘What do you mean? Is this a holiday?’

Sasuke continued striding forward. ‘I believe it is more traditionally called a long weekend, or a short break, but I have brought no work with me, so yes, it is a holiday.’

Naruto jogged after him. ‘What about me, you’re paying for me…so am I working?’ He rubbed the back of his head. ‘I’m never sure exactly how things stand between us.’

‘It is what it is.’ Sasuke walked over to the taxi rank and gave the driver the address. He’d planned to do the tourist thing first, imagining how happy Naruto would be, lost amongst all the kitsch of the souvenir shops. But it’d been a ridiculous idea. All he wanted to do was dump his luggage, change out of this stupid shirt, then leave the whore to find his own amusements while Sasuke meditated on why he continued to go against every logical thought he had and sought out the idiot yellow head’s company.

Naruto sat in silence on the other side of the cab for a while. Then, frowning, he asked, ‘Do you know where we are? Where we’re going? You’ve got it all planned out?’

‘Yes.’

‘You made it sound like this was…like a spontaneous adventure?’

Sasuke glanced at the driver whose head was moving in rhythm to the terrible music he had playing on the radio.

In a quiet voice Sasuke said, ‘How can it be spontaneous when I have to book your time in advance?’ He pinched the bridge of his nose and looked out of the window. ‘I wanted you to be surprised, rather than ask lots of annoying questions. On the first day we met you admired my paintings and said that you’ve never been to the sea. I thought you’d…’

Naruto leapt across and knelt on Sasuke’s lap, wound down the window, and stuck his head out. ‘Are we by the sea? Are you taking me to the seaside? Am I breathing sea air? Oh my…Sasuke, is that the sea?’ Naruto pointed towards the hazy blue line of the ocean that was visible between the trees and buildings.

Sasuke nodded.

‘Wow, it’s even more beautiful than I imagined.’ For a moment he rested his head against Sasuke’s. ‘I respect you, but I hope it’s okay for me to say that I wish I was allowed to kiss you. I think that’s the only thing that would make this more perfect.’ Then Naruto’s head, shoulders, and most of his chest were out of the window again and he was laughing as the wind whipped through his yellow hair.

Sasuke automatically put an arm around Naruto, scared the man would, in his puppy enthusiasm, tumble all the way out; however, he immediately felt the strength of Naruto’s core muscles. The man seemed like a klutzy dunce, but his body was powerful and his balance faultless. In the end, Sasuke left his arm where it was.

He was glad that there were hardly any other cars on the road, even more so that that the cab driver didn’t even glance at what they were doing. It felt like he and Naruto were alone in a way that he couldn’t comprehend, as they had been truly alone many times, but somehow this was different. This man sitting on top of him, stupidly happy because of something that Sasuke had organised for him, is what Sasuke had wanted at some deep level of his soul since they’d first met.

When the taxi came to a stop, Naruto opened the door and flung himself out as if he expected Sasuke to force him to go straight home. Sasuke followed, tipping the driver much more generously than he normally did.

‘What is this place?’ Naruto looked around as if he was in a whole different world.

‘It’s a beach house. I haven’t been here for a long time, but I’ve paid for its upkeep, so I guess we’ll see if I am being cheated or not.’

Naruto chuckled. ‘And there I was, scared you were going to make me swoon with another romantic move.’

‘I don’t do romance.’ Sasuke walked up to the door.

‘Sure you don’t.’ Naruto kept looking around, bouncing on the balls of his feet. ‘Just like you don’t do solitude. I mean, do you even see another person when you’re staying here?’

 ‘It’s a private beach. There’s no point having it if you share it with a thousand onlookers.’  Sasuke’s hand shook as he tried to put the key in the lock.

Naruto grinned. ‘Not used to old fashioned things anymore with all your high-powered rich boy toys?’ He put his hand around Sasuke’s and together they turned the lock.

The door opened a crack, but Sasuke didn’t push it the rest of the way.

‘Are you getting cold feet that you won’t be able to handle me for a whole weekend?’ He laughed, but his eyes were concerned, and he felt Sasuke’s forehead.

‘Hnnn. I am constantly doubting why I have any interest in you.’ He pressed the door open and strode forward.

He meant to stride forward. A memory scratched and clawed through his head, so fast that he had no idea what it was. He grabbed his head and fell backwards. Strong arms caught him, scooping him up as if he was weightless, and carried him to the sofa.

Worried blue eyes gazed down at him, but the voice was as loud and cheerful as ever. ‘This is kinda like we’ve just got married, right? And I’m carrying you over the threshold of our new house? That’s a real thing? Yeah, or just a telly thing? If we were really married though, I’d make sure it was done the correct way around and it’d be your skinny ass heaving me to the bedroom, not me lugging you about.’ He leaned in close enough so Sasuke could smell the minty dental scent of his breath. ‘Do you need me to take you to the bedroom? I can if you want, yaknow, in just a relaxing way rather than a getting jiggy way? You look kinda pale, but I thought I’d put you down, rather than search through the house for a bed with you in my arms and…’  

‘I’m fine.’ Sasuke tried to sit up, but groaned as a sharp pain shot through his head. ‘Maybe you could get me a drink of water. Please.’

‘Hell, now I feel like I should be calling an ambulance with you saying please.’ Naruto squeezed Sasuke’s hand and trotted off. He returned remarkably quickly with a glass of water, complete with ice. He held it up to Sasuke’s lips as if Sasuke was a complete invalid. And Sasuke let him.

‘You’ll be glad to know that your people have stocked up the fridge with goodies.’ In his other hand, he held out a punnet of vine tomatoes.

Sasuke smiled. ‘Thank you, Naruto, if you put them down I’ll have some later.’

Naruto made a wide-eyed face of shock. ‘Baby, don’t overdo yourself, one ‘please’ is enough for a year, don’t try saying ‘thank you’ too, it’ll make your brain explode or something worse.’

‘It feels like my brain is exploding.’

Naruto put the water and tomatoes on the side table, then placed his hand on Sasuke’s brow. The blonde’s hand was cool and Sasuke pressed his head against it with a sigh. Without thinking, right now thinking hurt, he took Naruto’s hand in his and pressed his lips against the other man’s wrist, kissing it, then flicking his tongue out and licking across the skin. There was a slight saltiness that made Sasuke lick harder.

Naruto moaned.

Sasuke froze and stared up at the other man. It was the most erotic sound he’d heard in his life.

With his free hand Naruto ran a finger between Sasuke’s pecs. Sasuke’s back automatically arched towards him.

‘How are you feeling?’ It was a simple question, but the blonde’s voice was husky and they both understood that he was really asking, ‘Are you well enough to fuck?’

Sasuke bit his lip. He was holding Naruto’s hand. All he had to do was guide it down to his cock – a move he’d made dozens, possibly hundreds of times.

He dropped Naruto’s hand to the side. ‘Did you bring my case in, or are you planning to lose that too?’

Sasuke hoped that he had seen a brief moment of disappointment, before Naruto rolled his eyes. ‘Yeah, all the thieves are jumping in taxis and heading out into the middle of nowhere because they’ve got messages via carrier pigeon from their lookouts that I’ve left your case outside for a few minutes while I was looking after you.’

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. ‘Carrier pigeon? They don’t text each other?’

Naruto glared. ‘No, because they haven’t stolen your case yet so they can’t afford phones.’

‘But they can afford taxis? And have the time to train pigeons?’

Naruto laughed. ‘You are such a bastard, you know that, don’t you?’

Sasuke smirked. ‘I told you I was.’

His smile disappeared and he held a hand to his head as Naruto fetched his case in. Why was he having this reaction? There were no bad memories here. A sharp pain jolted through his spine.

Naruto dropped the case and fell down on his knees beside the sofa and took Sasuke’s hands in his. ‘I’m being completely serious now, I’m worried about you. _You_ can trust me. Please trust me. Do you have any medical issues? Tell me how I can help.’

Naruto’s face was open and it showed a man in earnest who wanted to care for him. Sasuke’s cheeks reddened. He closed his eyes. ‘Naruto.’ He took a breath. ‘Naruto, there’s nothing for you to worry about. It’s some sort of migraine.’ He opened his eyes again and gazed into the blue eyes. ‘I am going to just lie down for a while until it clears, but I don’t want you to waste your holiday time, go outside, there’s a whole beach and ocean waiting for you.’

Naruto shook his head. ‘No way. Who do you think I am that I’d leave you alone when you’re not feeling good? Besides, I want to see the sea with Sasukeee.’ He gave a half smile. ‘You like that? It’s almost a poem.’

‘ _Almost_? You haven’t read much poetry, I take it.’ Sasuke arched an eyebrow and his voice was cold, but his heart was reaching out and emotionally hugging the yellow head.

Naruto chuckled. ‘I’m not sure if we’re at the poetry sharing stage of our relationship yet.’

‘Then you are doing better than me, as I’m still at the stage where I am not even sure if we have a relationship.’

Naruto threw his head back and laughed his happy, infectious laugh. ‘So, you just want to sit quietly? Or...’

Sasuke bit his lip. He stared up at the ceiling. ‘I brought something with me that you might indulge me with.’ He gave Naruto the key and combination to his luggage.

He watched from the sofa as Naruto opened the case. The blonde touched his fingers to the shirts folded on the top but pulled away as if they burnt. ‘I don’t wanna nose randomly through your stuff.’

Sasuke smiled. ‘Really? You’re so…unique.  You’ve seen me naked, and even more intimately, in this precise moment, you’re seeing me hurting which I can assure you very, very few do, but you’re worried about invading my privacy by looking, with my permission, through a few clothes? I love you so much.’

Naruto’s mouth fell open.

Sasuke swallowed back a moan as his aching brain registered what he had just so carelessly said. How could those words, words he’d never spoken, have slipped out? He clenched his hands into fists.

Naruto grinned. ‘Wow, yaknow, my heart just stopped beating there. I kinda took it like…how you’d say to someone you were sure you were in a relationship with…even though I know you mean it like you’d say you love a cute photo of a fox playing with a dog or something.’ He rubbed the back of his head. ‘Remember, I’m an idiot and you shouldn’t throw that word around unless you want to give a hooker a heart attack! Now, you’re teasing me for being careful with your stuff, so I’ll be very uncareful now.’

Sasuke had no chance to disagree…or rather shouldn’t he be agreeing with Naruto? The man dug into Sasuke’s belongings, throwing them up into the air until he stopped with a sudden whoop and a beaming smile. With care, that wasn’t strictly due to an old paperback, the blonde picked up the copy of _Peter Pan_ Sasuke had packed, and unpacked, three times before getting angry at his indecision and slamming the case closed for a final time.

‘You’re going to read to me again?’ Naruto’s eyes were soft and far too beautiful.

‘Maybe you could read to me this time?’

Naruto rubbed his thumb over the cover. ‘You sure you want that? People don’t think I have the prettiest voice at the best of times, let alone when they’ve got a raging headache?’

‘Not pretty, no, but vibrant, energetic and full of warmth, which anyone with sense would always prefer to _pretty_.’  Sasuke would have to cut his tongue off soon, to prevent himself from saying such ridiculous things to this man.

A rosy colour tinted Naruto’s tan cheeks. He positioned himself against the centre of the sofa. ‘Where should I start? I don’t know where we got to last time, what with falling asleep listening to your sweet voice and all. Have you got a favourite chapter?’

‘Start from the beginning.’

‘Let’s start at the very beginning, a very good place to start. When you read you begin with…’ Naruto sang out in his best Julie Andrews voice.  And indeed, he’d get a role in _The Sound of Music_ if every other auditionee was a zombie cat that had died from strangulation.

Sasuke decided not to voice that thought, with the way words were emerging from his mouth at the moment it’d probably turn into begging Naruto to sing him lullabies every night. Instead, with a small smile, he pointed to the book.

Naruto nodded and turned to chapter one.

 _‘All children, except one, grow up. They soon know that they will grow up, and the way Wendy knew was this. One day when she was two years old she was playing in a garden, and she plucked another flower and ran with it to her mother. I suppose she must have looked rather delightful, for Mrs. Darling put her hand to her heart and cried, "Oh, why can't you remain like this for ever!" This was all that passed between them on the subject, but henceforth Wendy knew that she must grow up. You always know after you are two. Two is the beginning of the end._ ’

Sasuke closed his eyes and listened to Naruto’s rough voice continue through the familiar tale. The realisation softly growing within him, that this hooker was the only person he’d want to be with him now, like this, with Sasuke prone on the sofa, and Naruto close by reading a children’s story to him as if it was the most natural and nicest thing in the world for a whore to be doing with his client.

 

***

Sasuke opened his eyes. He blinked a few times and swore. But no, this was not like any of the other times; just because he couldn’t see Naruto didn’t mean the blonde airhead had snuck off. This wasn’t like any of the other times Sasuke had fallen asleep in his company and woken up to find himself alone. This was the exact opposite. This time the hooker was his. Or rather the hooker was his for the weekend that he’d booked him for. But that was enough. Naruto wouldn’t desert him halfway, well, not even halfway, through a date. Would he?

He moved to get up, and rolled onto the floor. His thoughts had been so distracted, that he’d failed to notice he’d been swaddled up in a bed spread, wrapped as tightly as if it was a straight jacket.

Hearing the thump, Naruto ran in. Sasuke’s first reaction was to smile, followed by a gasp. He unwrapped himself and leapt to his feet. Naruto was dripping red.

‘What the hell has happened? Are you okay?’

‘Yeah, sure I am okay, it’s me looking after you. You should be resting, not having fun rolling about on the floor!’

‘You are covered in blood!’ Sasuke’s hands hovered near Naruto, scared he’d hurt him more if he touched him.

‘Oh. Yeah.’ The yellow head glanced down at his splattered clothes. ‘I see how you might be confused with your whoozy head and all. But. Not blood. ‘

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. The substance covering Naruto was gloopy and came in different colours. He was so relieved that Naruto wasn’t hurt that he didn’t even care seeing it glob onto the priceless rug that had been his mother’s favourite.

‘What is it then?

‘Ummm. About that. I was trying to surprise you, like you surprised me, obviously not on the same level, don’t expect me to be whizzing you off to the Eiffel Tower anytime soon but…’

‘I don’t. Get on with it.’

‘I was! You interrupted. Anyway I was preparing a lovely surprise by making you a tomato smoothie drink thing. And it looked a bit boring just tomatoes so I added other stuff. And whadyaknow, I don’t know how to use a fancy blender, or a mixer, or a whisk….or just food in general. Your kitchen may be a teensier bit messy than you’re expecting.’

Sasuke smirked and gave a small shake of his head. ‘How are you an escort? What the hell are you like with your other clients?’

‘I just do what they want me to. I’d never even think about trying to do something on my own to surprise them.’ He chuckled. ‘Seeing how things are with me and you I guess that’s for the best or I’d be on the streets by now.’

Sasuke stared down at the rug. ‘You should get cleaned up, you seem to have explored on your own, can I assume you know where the bathroom is?’

Naruto peeled his clothes off where he was standing and let them drop to the floor. ‘It’s kinda a warm evening, you’ve got a private beach, and you’ve brought me here to see the sea…you think we can take a naked swim together like in your paintings…if you want to…if you’re feeling better?’

‘I’m better.’ Sasuke kept his gaze down. He could feel Naruto’s nudity as if it was a sexual electricity that was sparking through his every nerve. He’d watched that clip so many times, he’d lived and relived through that first date of having Naruto naked with him, he was as familiar with the man’s body as if they were accustomed lovers, but right now he was actually unable to look at the hooker for fear of losing complete control.

Naruto stepped towards Sasuke. He pressed his hand in the centre of Sasuke’s chest, leaving a red handprint. ‘There. See you need to come and clean up in the sea with me now, if you’re looking for a reason in that mad, overthinking mind of yours.’

Naruto expertly undid Sasuke’s belt, then dropped to his knees, and pulled Sasuke’s trousers and boxers down in one swift movement.

Sasuke stepped out of them, careful to move so his erection didn’t brush against Naruto’s face. Normally, he’d be doing the opposite. Normally, he’d have his hands gripping that bright yellow hair and yanking that cute blue-eyed face down onto his cock.

He needed to get control. ‘Stand up,’ he commanded.

Naruto immediately obeyed. Naruto’s eyes were wide, his face serious, waiting.

Sasuke glanced down; as it had been before, Naruto’s cock was thick and impressive, but it was not hard. Sasuke still swallowed at the sight. In general, he didn’t care about cocks, he was interested in well-shaped asses that knew how to be fucked hard. But nothing about this man matched his previous experiences.

He clenched his teeth together and took Naruto’s hand in his. ‘Still want to see the sea with me?’

Naruto’s face lit up in a wide grin. ‘You’re a poet too, you better believe it baby, that despite what it looks like, you and me are like perfect soul mates.’ He ran forward dragging Sasuke with him.

So much for being in control, Sasuke thought, but he smiled as he allowed Naruto to take the lead towards the door.

Then Naruto stopped suddenly. ‘I’ve got to confess something else. I’ve been trying really hard not to look out of windows or anything so as not to ruin the moment of seeing the ocean with you for the first time. And I had to like pull all your blinds down, and as I was doing it with my eyes closed, I might have accidentally pulled one of your blinds completely down, as in off the wall. You still want to go for a naked beach walk with me, or you prefer just shouting at me for a bit?’

 ‘I choose shouting.’ Sasuke flicked Naruto in the middle of his forehead. ‘Idiot. I don’t care about things. I want to be with you.’

Sasuke internally slapped himself. He _did_ care about things, he cared about things very much.

‘Thanks, baby. Sometimes I think you’re the very best man I’ve ever met.’

He was about to ask what Naruto thought of him at other times, when all thoughts disappeared, however, as Naruto grabbed Sasuke in a bear hug. Their legs, their chests, their groins pressed tightly against each other. Naruto’s body fit perfectly against his. Sasuke’s erection rubbed against Naruto’s hard abs, Naruto’s cock hanging against Sasuke’s thighs. Sasuke breathed in Naruto’s smell of tomatoes, clashing spices, and that warm animal scent that was truly him.

If Sasuke had had a chance to wrap his arms around the man, he felt like he’d never let him go, but Naruto leapt away with a laugh as quickly as he’d hugged him. He took Sasuke’s hand in his and pulled him outside onto the beach.

‘Fiery hell!’ Naruto jumped up and down on his tiptoes. ‘Why is the sand trying to turn my poor feet into little burnt bits of char? I never did anything to hurt it.’

‘Are you more sensitive than you look? It isn’t even hot.’ Sasuke swivelled his feet to display how comfortable he was.

‘Come on. We’re on a mission now, we need to survive this scorching torture and get into the sea as quickly as possible.’ Naruto ran, pulling Sasuke with him.

Sasuke had visualised a quiet walk on the beach watching the sunset, but dashing a long, taking side glances at Naruto’s cock bouncing as he ran, Sasuke smiled, thinking this suited them much better.

Naruto rushed so fast into the waves, that he was waist deep before he screamed. ‘Fuck, it’s freezing! How can the sand be so hot and the water so cold? Is this some freaky torture beach that you’ve found especially for me? You like to see me in pain, don’t you, and not normal spanking, whipping, chained up pain, but extra weird things because you’re an extra weird guy. Yoooowwwwl! My balls are hiding so far inside my body, I don’t know where they are! Maybe they’ll send me a postcard to give me some clues as to where I can find them again when I am somewhere warmer like a freezer.’ Naruto skipped and jumped about in the water as he yelled out.

‘Keep moving and you’ll adjust to the temperature. Possibly.’ Sasuke smirked.

‘I am fricking moving! You can see I’m fricking moving. And all the water is fricking splashing around every time I move making my chest cold too!’

‘That’s your problem then, get your whole body wet and then there’ll be no contrast making you feel cold.’

‘Yeah that. Or maybe the super-icy-ice-water is making me feel cold! And your smart advice is to make the warm part of me cold too?’

Sasuke dived into the waves and swam away from Naruto and then returned. ‘There, no fuss, no problem.’

Naruto had stopped moving and was staring at Sasuke. ‘Can you teach me how to do that? The way your hips moved, and your arms stretched out, you looked so…elegant.’

Sasuke smoothed his hair back over his head. ‘That was just a basic crawl. What do you do, doggy paddle?’

‘I don’t do anything. I don’t swim.’ Naruto looked to the side. ‘I told you I’ve never been to the sea before.’

‘There are lakes and swimming pools…how can you not swim?’

‘I can’t okay. It’s not a big deal. I just thought, yaknow, you taught me how to play the piano, you might be able to…nevermind.’ A grin appeared back on his face. ‘I’ll be happy watching you.’

‘I can teach you.’ Sasuke was pleased with how confident his voice sounded. Pleased that he hadn’t corrected Naruto and told him he hadn’t taught him how to play piano, he’d shown him how to memorise one simple melody. Less pleased that he had absolutely no idea how you went about teaching a body to move in the water.

But the most important thing was to keep Naruto safe and make sure he felt secure with Sasuke. He could improvise everything else for this evening and watch proper instructional videos to ready himself for tomorrow.

‘The first step is just becoming familiar with how your body feels in the water. That’s all we’ll do tonight. So I am going to support you totally, and you’re just going to lean back and relax.’

‘Yeah, that’ll be easy as all my body systems start shutting off from the cold.’ His voice was loud and bolshie, but he stared at Sasuke with young, shy eyes.

Sasuke put a hand on Naruto’s back and one on the curve of his bottom. Lust surged through him, a hot wiry sensation scratching through his whole soul. The only thing that restrained him was the other man putting his total trust in Sasuke. Naruto grumbled but he did relax his weight into Sasuke’s hold, and Sasuke responded by slowly manoeuvring him so he lay horizontally in the water.

‘You know I am going to be the best person you’ve ever taught to swim and I’ll learn so amazingly fast that I’ll look better than you by the end of the weekend?’

‘Some part of that might be true. If you want to be good though, you’re going to have to focus on your own body rather than constantly being excited by mine.’  It was weak banter, especially when Sasuke had failed to ever make him hard, but Naruto responded how he hoped. Continuing with his goading and boasting, and general loudmouthedness, and forgetting about the cold and allowing Sasuke to move him and occasionally guide him without becoming self-conscious.

At first, Sasuke purposely tried not to notice Naruto’s body, but it was impossible when he was constantly touching him and ridiculous when he was trying to tell the man how to kick his legs or move his arms.  He realised that he himself needed to relax and accept and enjoy the sensuousness of having such a strong beautiful man in his arms, putting all his power in Sasuke’s control. It wasn’t sex. It was something beyond sex.

He saw a shiver in Naruto’s hand and looked around surprised at how quickly the day had disappeared into night, the sun had become the moon and somehow neither of them had noticed it.

‘It’s time to go back to the house,’ Sasuke said.

‘Hey, no, I’m not tired, I’m still doing great, I’m not giving up when I am so close. I can learn to swim properly tonight if you…’

‘Naruto, we don’t have to fit it all in right now, we have more time together.’ He leaned over and kissed Naruto on the forehead.

He quickly righted himself and guided Naruto back to the shore, hoping that the man couldn’t see his blush.

Naruto gabbled on about how the sand wasn’t burny when he wanted it to warm him up, but now was just sticky and itchy. Sasuke held him near as they walked and rubbed his arm. He wondered if things would ever be normal between them, that they could be physically comfortable in some ways and so awkward and unknown in others.

In the house, they dried themselves off and Sasuke’s heart fluttered with strange nerves about whether he needed to ask, and how to ask, if Naruto wanted to share a room with him.

Naruto solved the problem in his own way. ‘Can I ask you something that’s going to sound really odd, but with, yaknow, this place being smaller than all your other houses, or the ones you’ve let me see so far anyway, and there only being three bedrooms to choose from, well, when I was exploring earlier I saw…is it possible… I’ve always wanted to sleep in a bunk bed.’

Sasuke’s chest hurt. ‘You want to sleep in the children’s bunk bed rather than the king size main room? The bunkbeds are just a leftover from when me and my brother were young, I’d have changed it to a proper guest room if I really used this place.’

‘Please, Sasuke, say yes.’ Naruto twined his hands together in pleading.

‘Yes,’ Sasuke said. How was he spending a fortune on a whore and ending up sleeping alone all the time?

Naruto grabbed his hand and pulled Sasuke up to the room. ‘This’ll be so much fun, it’ll be like we’re best friends having our first sleep over, how do we decide who gets the top and who gets the bottom? Wanna do thumb wars? Though I warn you I’m a champion.’

Sasuke looked around slightly dazed. ‘You want me to sleep in here with you?’

Naruto paused in his constant chatter and stared with a creased brow at Sasuke. ‘Of course. It can hardly be best friends’ fun if I’m here on my own, can it?’ He lowered his head. ‘Sorry, it was a stupid thing to ask, wasn’t it? I should be letting you seduce me and letting you lead me into the big bed with you.’

The phrasing of ‘letting you seduce me’ was a punch in the gut. Sasuke’s face remained nonchalant. ‘I didn’t expect to be standing naked with my escort in the bunk bed room. I didn’t even remember this still being here. But the unexpected with you is more interesting than what anyone else has ever offered me. So, tell me what thumb wars is and try not to whine too much when I beat you.’

They did twenty one thumb wars before Naruto was eventually ahead in the tally and declared himself the winner. He clambered up on to the top bunk singing some song about being a champion and curled himself up in the blankets.

Sasuke turned off the light and settled down in the lower bunk. As his eyes adjusted to the dark he looked up at the mattress above him, curving under Naruto’s weight. The blonde was still chattering away about how no one could ever defeat him at thumb wars.

Sasuke interrupted him in a crisp voice. ‘Was the sea a disappointment? With the cold water and the hot sand, it wasn’t how you imagined it would be?’

There was a long silence. If he wasn’t familiar with Naruto’s snoring he’d have thought the other man had fallen asleep without bothering to answer, but finally the reply came.

‘It was too beautiful, Sasuke. And I am so happy that you’re the one that showed it to me. I grumbled and ran about because I was terrified I was going to start crying and I wouldn’t be able to stop.’ He dropped a hand down the side and Sasuke reached up and took it. ‘Do you remember what I said about your paintings and how I saw them?’

‘I recall too much, too perfectly of everything you say.’ Sasuke took a breath. ‘You said that you liked the idea of swimming in the sea with your friends and everything being cool and no one wanting or needing anything from you.’

‘The real thing was so much more than that.’ Naruto squeezed Sasuke’s hand. ‘I can’t put in words how happy you’ve made me.’

Sasuke caressed his thumb over Naruto’s. Naruto continued speaking for a while longer, mostly about what a great swimmer he was going to be, with apologies thrown in for the kitchen. Moaning about how hungry he was, but he hadn’t wanted to say anything as he didn’t want to remind Sasuke about how destroyed the kitchen was. And more about swimming. Until his voice descended into mumbles, then into snores, and his hand went limp in Sasuke’s. Sasuke kept hold of it and with his other one traced the outline of the man’s shape in the bed above him. Until he too fell into a peaceful sleep with dreams of dolphins and sunflowers.

 

Sasuke woke early the next day. He checked first on the man sleeping above him. Naruto was making little humming noises rather than his usual rumbling snores, but the man was not going to stir any time soon. Sasuke untwisted the covers as much as he could and placed them over Naruto, picked up his hand and kissed it, then turned away and mentally readied himself for the day’s tasks.

The kitchen was worse than he could have imagined. However, instead of cursing, for some reason he smiled as he cleaned and scrubbed, at one point he even caught himself humming _The Sound of Music_. When everything sparkled, he went and checked on Naruto. Sasuke stopped and laughed when he saw the position the man had got himself into. Naruto’s snoring was muffled by the fact his head was pushed into the pillow at a painful looking angle, with his posterior sticking up in the air.

Sasuke moved him into a more comfortable position. Naruto tried to snuggle around Sasuke’s arm, making a little growling sound when Sasuke pulled away.

Sasuke tousled a hand through the yellow locks which turned the growl into a purr. ‘You are irresistible, but I do have rules, such as my lovers being fully awake.’ He caressed his hand over the faint scars on Naruto’s cheeks. ‘And you being with me because you like me, not just because it’s how you earn yourself a big pay cheque.’ 

Sasuke was surprised how sad his voice sounded. He walked quickly away from the bed, wrote Naruto a quick note to explain that he’d gone out to buy a few things in case the man awoke, then left the house.

His timing was accurate enough to hail down the bus. His mind was occupied thinking about what he needed to purchase, when a sudden image of Itachi taking him on a bus entered his mind. It became more and more vivid, he remembered pestering his brother about how much he wanted to ride on a bus, the two of them sneaking out together, how much Sasuke had giggled…how much he’d loved Itachi, just sitting with his brother, holding his hand, the two of them out on an adventure alone. He couldn’t recall anything else. Aside from his father’s anger. _How stupid are you? Do you want to be kidnapped? Do you want to be chopped into little pieces and scattered around the town? Do you think that would be fun?_

Sasuke bit his lip. How old had he been? Three or four? It didn’t matter. He trained his mind back to thinking about what he needed to do now. The past was gone. Thankfully.

He brought far more than he needed to. There were so many little things, all useless, mostly ugly, that he thought might make Naruto smile.  When he arrived back at the house, Naruto was still asleep. Sasuke prepared a breakfast, or rather brunch, which was actually late lunch by the time the man appeared yawning.

When Naruto finished yawning, they stood smiling at each other for a long moment. Sasuke had taken in the toned body while Naruto was yawning, now he just gazed into those blue eyes. He couldn’t prevent himself from imagining what it would be like seeing this man every day.

Then Naruto started grumbling at Sasuke for letting him sleep so long and Sasuke snapped back into action, making snide remarks about how lazy the other man was.

They fell into a dynamic of bickering between Naruto whooping in gratitude for every gift that Sasuke had bought for him, and Sasuke inwardly glowing at the blonde’s reaction. They made a picnic on the beach. Naruto brought all his presents out with him. He reread and laughed at the funny postcards as if they were the wittiest things in the world, hugged the big cuddly toad to his chest, continually shook the globes showing snow showers on sunny beaches, and gave Sasuke fashion shows complete with twirls and over the top model walks, wearing every single hideous t-shirt and pair of bright Bermuda shorts that Sasuke had found for him to replace the lost luggage.

The blonde’s favourite item though, also happened to be Sasuke’s, the wetsuit clung to Naruto’s body and Sasuke didn’t bother trying to hide what he was looking at.

‘Did you get one for yourself too?’ Naruto asked with an eager look in his eyes.

Sasuke shook his head. ‘You’ll have to take me as I am.’

‘I think I can do that.’

Sasuke licked his lips. This was one of the moments between them when things could definitely go further. But instead of taking the opportunity he led Naruto down to the sea and continued with the swimming lesson begun the previous evening.

The time had that hazy quality of feeling endless but also rushing by far too fast, that Sasuke vaguely remembered from the long summers of his childhood.

Naruto’s boasts weren’t entirely unfounded, the blonde’s determination and strong body soon overcame his initial splashy, desperate strokes. In between swimming, they explored caves, ran along the beach, nibbled on food, just lay on the sand holding each other’s hand and staring up at the blue sky. Naruto had an ability to turn everything possible into a competition. They trash talked each other until they laughed and forgot what they were supposed to be doing. Naruto chatted constantly about nothing, Sasuke listened without listening, just enjoying the sound of the blonde’s voice which took all pressure away from him to try and think of small talk.

The only time he got Naruto into the big bed, it was to make a base which involved piling up all the pillows and cushions in the house around the outside and draping covers over the top. Then telling each other the scariest stories they knew. Which Sasuke got wrong.

‘It’s not supposed to actually scare me, bastard! Why would you tell me such a terrifying ghost story when we’re all alone in the middle of nowhere…and by the sea!’ Naruto continued muttering about evil ghost pirates until he fell asleep.

Sasuke woke up in incredible pain. Something was on top of him, crushing his chest, squashing his groin, he almost lashed out and threw it off, but his brain thankfully started to work. He adjusted his position and then put his arms around Naruto. He thought about lifting him up and taking him to the double room, but in the end he just smiled at the surprise  of going to sleep and waking up to have Naruto appear in his arms rather than vanish from them. He wanted to enjoy this moment, not disturb it.

He nuzzled his cheek against Naruto’s hair. ‘Don’t worry, I’ll protect you from ghosts and everything and anything that would ever be stupid enough to think about hurting my man.’

Sasuke fell asleep dozily wondering why any couple would sleep in a double bed when you could be squeezed so close together in a single bed.

 

***

Sasuke finished the last bit of repacking his case. As another surprise, Naruto had tried to do it for him. As politely as he could Sasuke had suggested that he should maybe adjust a few of the items. Which might not have been too politely as Naruto stormed off in a huff. Sasuke had managed not only to fit his own belongings, but all of Naruto’s new things minus the cuddly toad and wetsuit into the case. He’d convinced Naruto to leave the wetsuit behind saying it’d be pointless in the city, unable to say ‘ready for when I bring you here again’ and never going to confess, ‘I can’t bear the thought of you wearing it with someone else’. But aside from that everything was neatly sorted. So it was worth it.

But the feeling in his gut told him he should have struggled through the station, risked half his clothes falling out, and been laden down with the extra bags of Naruto’s belongings, rather than lose a minute of time with the other man.

He found his hooker stretched out on the beach, his clothes discarded beside him.

‘We need to leave soon. I told you I prefer to get to the train station with plenty of time to cover all eventualities.’

Naruto threw his hand up dismissively. ‘Why do you worry about things like train timetables when you can hire a pilot to fly you home? And you can pay someone to pack your bag professionally while you’re at it too as I obviously am not good enough for you.’

Sasuke’s brow creased slightly looking down at the man.  With all the bickering between them he had to be careful not to miss when Naruto was genuinely upset about something. He didn’t want to risk a proper argument when they were so close to leaving.

He hunkered down by Naruto’s head and tugged affectionately on one of the yellow bangs. ‘I might annoy you, but you should listen to me sometimes. I told you always to lie on a towel if you want to be naked, because you are going to get sand where you don’t want it.’

Naruto grinned. ‘I want sand everywhere. I want to be showering sand out in a month and remembering how happy I was with you here.’

‘I bought you enough souvenirs. You’re just a kinky bitch who has developed a sand fetish.’ Sasuke smirked, a few days with the man and he was starting to speak like him. What effect would a week have? He’d like to find out. He ran his hand down the centre of Naruto’s chest.

‘Are you ever going to give yourself a chance to find out how kinky?’ 

Sasuke’s cock had been stirring just being close to Naruto’s body, the promise of the words was enough to make it fully erect. Forget about cheap tat sounveirs, he could make sure this man never forgot this break.  His hand crept closer to the man’s groin.

‘You don’t have to be shy, baby, you’re paying for me twice over, you have license to do whatever you want to me.’ Naruto’s voice was probably supposed to be encouraging.  But Sasuke pulled his hand away.

Naruto pushed his head backwards into the beach and groaned. ‘Are all these dates just revenge for when we first met and I played the cocktease with you? Which you totally deserved, by the way. Do you have any real intention of ever fucking me?’

Sasuke kept his lips firmly closed there were too many sharp words he didn’t want to escape, accusing Naruto of being the one who chose bunk beds, throwing back how Naruto had so many times expressed how he liked that Sasuke was different to other clents, how happy he’d been when he thought that Sasuke cared about his pleasure…and too much more all twisted into cruel attacks.

He took a deep breath. He was trying to ignore it, but ever since he’d starting thinking about packing and getting to the station on time, the muscles in his back and neck had felt tense and knotted, his stomach felt hollow although they had eaten far more than Sasuke normally did , and then there was the constant ache in his chest.

He swallowed. Being with this man changed him into a different person, rawer and unpredictable. He needed to work at keeping his composure, unsure whether he was going to explode in anger or break down in sorrow, but knowing either option was disaster. Whatever else happened between them he wanted Naruto to keep this time together as a precious memory of seeing the sea for the first time. It was about him, not about Sasuke.

The last thought illuminated something for Sasuke.

He spoke in a clear voice. ‘I have every intention of fucking you. When you come to me on your day off and beg me.’

‘I don’t get any days off, bastard, and I only beg when I’m paid, so keep dreaming of this ass because you’re never gonna get it.’ Naruto slapped his hip.

Sasuke acted as if he hadn’t heard Naruto’s reply. He walked around to Naruto’s feet and knelt down. ‘But you were such a good boy going to the dentist _three_ times for me, and I’ve never rewarded you for that.’ He reverently picked up and placed both Naruto’s feet on his lap, stroking his hands over them. ‘I recall you wanted your toes sucked, is that still what you’d like, Naruto?’ Sasuke rolled his tongue over the three syllables of his hooker’s name.

Naruto lifted his head and shoulders up, leaning back on his elbows and frowned at Sasuke. ‘I trust you in my heart, but my head tells me what’s the point of living through what I’ve lived through, if I can’t recognise another rich fuck who isn’t satisfied with renting bodies, and really gets off on playing with people’s emotions? Speak truthfully to me for a moment, please, are you just teasing me with all this?’ Naruto pointed to his feet and stretched his hand out to encompass the whole beach and ocean. Then he made a guttural sound of exasperation. ‘If you’re screwing with me, you’re going to keep on screwing with me for as long as you like, you’re hardly going to meltdown in guilty confession before you’ve broken me. So I’m going to enjoy it while I can, fuck whether it’s a lie or not. Yes, Sasuke, I very much want you to suck my toes. As long as you’re aware you’re paying for the pleasure.’

Sasuke gazed at the man for a long moment. The only response he had was to rest the heel of Naruto’s foot in the palm of his hand, lift it up to his mouth and begin sucking the toes one by one. They tasted of the sea air and were gritty with sand, but Sasuke was rewarded with an erotic moan from Naruto that made the sand grating his tongue seem like the most sensual thing in the world. His body tingled with pleasure as if he was the one being touched. He experimented between licking, sucking and nipping to see which elicited the loudest response from his lover. The answer was: all of them. With each successive touch, Naruto writhed, arched his back, dug his hands into the sand with more ferocity regardless of what Sasuke had done.

The other foot kicked against Sasuke’s stomach. Sasuke lifted it up too and covered it in kisses from the heel up to the big toe. He looked up to see how the man was responding now and gave a small moan himself.

Naruto had a hand on his cock and was pumping it hard.

Sasuke bit down on his lip watching Naruto’s erection grow. He didn’t want to be a spectator though, he wanted to be part of the man’s pleasure. He pressed Naruto’s toes into his mouth, biting them with increased pressure, and massaged his thumbs into the soles of his feet.  

Sasuke poured his frustration and yearning from the long months into caressing Naruto’s feet. Occasionally he paused, seeing that he was leaving indentations in the man’s skin with his teeth, scared that his passion was too strong and he’d lose control and actually hurt his lover. But any hesitation resulted in Naruto whimpering and pushing his toes against Sasuke’s lips. Which caused a different type of stirring in Sasuke, but that was not the game that he wanted to play. As far as he dared, he allowed himself to get lost in freely pleasuring the blonde in a way that Naruto clearly enjoyed.

Naruto’s touch on his own body was rough, vigorously wanking up and down and squeezing the full length of his cock. Sasuke gazed on as he sucked Naruto’s toes, imagining what it would be like to have that hand on his own prick. The sun heated the outside of his body, and a blaze of equal heat burned inside him.

The precum shone at the end of Naruto’s cock.  Sasuke dropped Naruto’s feet back into the sand and crawled up Naruto’s body so his head was above the man’s groin. He breathed in the heady masculine scent, and gazed into blue eyes which were right now as dark as his own with their enlarged lust filled pupils.

‘Come for me,’ Sasuke ordered. ‘I want to taste you.’

Naruto’s face became pure joy. It was as if he’d been waiting for Sasuke’s command. Jet after jet of thick come shot up into Sasuke’s mouth.  When Sasuke was going to close his lips thinking Naruto had finished, Naruto’s body shuddered and he came more.

Finally Naruto’s hand left his cock and he weakly tousled it through Sasuke’s hair.

‘Sasuke…that was…’ his voice trailed into sighs.

Sasuke moved up to Naruto’s face and stared down at him. Naruto parted his lips as if they’d done this a thousand times and he knew exactly what Sasuke wanted. Sasuke opened his own mouth and let the come slide down over the blonde’s tongue. Then he pressed down onto the other man, pushing Naruto’s head into the sand, and clashing their teeth together as he hungrily probed every crevice of the other man’s mouth, searching out every drop of salty-sweetness that he’d just deposited there.

Naruto passively accepted the attention, his body almost innate for several minutes before he began to recover from his powerful orgasm. Then he put both hands on the back of Sasuke’s head pulling him in even harder, tilting and turning his head and thrusting his tongue back against Sasuke’s.

The blonde flipped Sasuke onto his back and pulled away with a smile. ‘My turn to return the favour and finally show you why I’m in high demand and paid top dollar. You’re not going to believe this, but most people aren’t interested in taking me to dentists or teaching me how to swim.’ He winked and moved his hand down towards Sasuke’s groin.

Sasuke grabbed it. Naruto’s face turned to disappointment.

‘I told you, it was my reward to you, for indulging me for so long in my dental kinks.’ He tried to speak in his gentlest and lightest voice. ‘Today it’s important to me that you only relax and enjoy. When I start using your body, I won’t give you many of these opportunities so appreciate it. That’s an order, remember I am your boss for this weekend.’

 ‘Well, I can’t fight against that then as I don’t want to be sacked.’ Naruto laughed. ‘Have we got time to snuggle for a moment or do we need to leave now?’

‘We’ve got a moment.’ Sasuke pulled Naruto down onto his chest and wrapped his arms around the other man.

They were both covered in beads of sweat, and Naruto’s breathing was still heavy from coming, so for a while they remained silent.

Then in a voice much quieter than normal, Naruto asked, ‘Have you had a…someone before who liked having their feet touched? You’re very good, if our positions were reversed you’d definitely be my whore of choice.’

‘Thanks.’ Sasuke ran his hand down the sticky sand covered flesh of Naruto’s back. Then in a voice that was also much softer than how he normally spoke. ‘Did you really enjoy it? I’d rather you were honest with me than said what you think you professionally have to say to your…client.’

 ‘I’ve made people come that hard, but I’ve never come like that myself. That going down as one of my best sexual experiences ever. That’s me speaking to you as me, not as your hooker.’ Naruto nuzzled his head against Sasuke. ‘Did you like it at all? Because you looked as if you did. That’s what made it so extra hot for me, but if you didn’t, you know you can be as honest as you like to me.’

‘Here’s me being honest.’ Sasuke took a deep breath. ‘Even when I was a teenager, I didn’t spend time fumbling around with foreplay trying to please people to get what I want, because I always got what I wanted without needing to try. I’m a taker, not a giver. I make people come because it gives me a power surge, not because I care about them. That’s my personality. And it hasn’t changed. Apart from when I am around you. I’ve never sucked and kissed feet before, I truthfully can’t remember the last time I let someone come in my mouth. And it won’t happen again for a long time. Unless you become a regular feature in my bed, because you’re the only one I want to taste.’

Naruto started to speak, but Sasuke quickly cut him off. ‘Now, that’s our snuggling moment over, we need to get to the station.’

 

On the train journey home, Naruto sat nearest the window, cuddling his teddy.  He didn’t run off to the other passengers, but stayed by Sasuke’s side and kept up a stream of chatter which seemed to be every idle thought that floated through his head, from what different clouds made him think of, to whether if he saw a tree and it looked small in the distance, did that mean it really was small?

At the station they halted outside in the spot they’d met when Naruto had believed he was waiting for Senor Jugo.

‘Where do you want a lift to?’ Sasuke asked.

‘I’m good finding my own way.’ Naruto stared down at his teddy. ‘Thank you for offering though.’

Sasuke gazed to the side. ‘I’ve had your lost luggage sent to me, it should arrive in the next few days, have you got an address you’d like me to have it couriered to?’

Naruto shrugged. ‘It doesn’t matter, it’s only things. The amount you’re paying me I can replace it a zillion times over.’

‘What about the things I brought you, they’re junk, I can trash them if…’

Naruto looked up at Sasuke with wide eyes. ‘That’s different! I want all of those.’

‘They’re in my case. Do you want to take them now?’

Naruto made a groaning noise. ‘Can I ask you a question, some questions, three questions, and you’ll answer me as totally truthfully as you can.’

Sasuke nodded.

‘What do you want from me?’

‘I don’t know. That’s the truth I am afraid.’

‘Okay.’ Naruto hugged his teddy a little bit tighter against his chest. ‘Second question. When we first arrived and you got that migraine and then said that you loved me so much.’

Sasuke’s heart thumped, but all he could do was wait for the other man’s question.

‘And I tried to cover the shock of it, by saying how I knew that you just meant it like the way people say they love anything cute or whatever… but I’ve never heard you say you love anything before. I don’t think you’d use a word like that without meaning it from your heart.’ Naruto took an audible breath. ‘Sasuke, I’m certain you had no intention of saying it, but when you did, did you mean it from your heart?’

Sasuke stared down at his hands. ‘I’m sorry…I don’t know.’

Naruto sighed. ‘Just one last question then. Do you want to see me again?’

‘Yes,’ Sasuke replied immediately.

‘Then don’t play it otherwise. Phone me in a few days and we’ll sort something out. I’ll collect all my things from you then. No need for couriering or dividing your case out on the street.’ He turned and walked away.

Sasuke watched him until he was out of sight and then made his way back to his car alone. He thought of his empty apartment and it hurt in a way it never had before.  He put his bag on the back seat and leaned against his car. Maybe he could go to a bar, phone one of his contacts, check in with Suigetsu to see if there was anyone new and interesting on the scene.

‘Hnnnn.’ He sucked his lips into his mouth. A sweet salty taste lingered on his tongue. He thought of the man who sang show songs out of tune, made a kitchen look like a murder scene when he tried to make a tomato smoothie, looked incredible in a wet suit, got scared by tame ghost stories, who could now swim after a few days of determination, who hugged like he wanted to crush your lungs, read _Peter Pan_ when you had a headache, and got turned on by having his toes sucked.

Sasuke drove straight home with a smile, and the only people he phoned were business contacts.

But when he went to bed, he couldn’t sleep. He reached for his phone, thinking of asking Suigetsu for a hook up after all. Instead he called Naruto.

The phone rung for a long time before it was picked up.

‘Hey,’ Sasuke said.

‘This isn’t a few days,’ Naruto replied, his voice clear and devoid of any sleepiness despite the time of night.

‘I’m missing you.’

There was a cough. Then a hushed reply. ‘Me too. I know it wasn’t long but I got so used to seeing you all the time, and talking to you. No one lets me talk as much as you do,’ He chuckled.

‘The questions you asked earlier, I have better answers now.’

‘Okay.’ There was more than a hint of doubt in the two syllables.

‘What I want from you, more than anything, is just to spend time with you, to do stupid things with you. Things I’ve never even thought of doing before, but they’re so right with you.’

‘Like sucking my toes?’

Sasuke smirked. ‘I was thinking more of building book forts, but I am definitely not averse to toe sucking being part of it.’

‘You know I am up for all of that, toe sucking and fort building and everything else.’

‘I want to see you at least once a week. I don’t care what it costs, just make sure I am always booked in and for one night a week you’re mine.’

‘You want to be a regular client? I can organise that. It’ll mean moving…’

‘I don’t need the details, just do it.’ Sasuke’s stomach tightened at the phrase ‘regular client’, but he wasn’t innocent or naïve, he knew what he was, that couldn’t hold him back from saying what he wanted to say. ‘And if it is still of any interest to you, the answer to your second question is, yes.’

Sasuke immediately hung up. He lay back in his bed, the phone clenched in his hand, his heart thumping and beads of sweat on his forehead.

A text buzzed back. He moved his hand and head only enough to read it.

I know you don’t care enough what I think to even bother asking, but so you're clear, I hate you too Bastard

He gazed at it for a moment then leapt off a bed with a whoop. Energy pulsed through him and he ran around his home like a madman looking for something to contain his sudden burst of vigour. He did parts of a workout, tried to do some paperwork, picked up and threw aside a dozen books, before he returned to his bedroom and just sat giggling as he read and reread the text Naruto had sent him.

When his schoolboy giggles subsided, he put all his pillows vertically down the bed and lay on top of them.

‘I hate you so much, Naruto,’ he whispered. And closed his eyes dreaming of when he’d get to say it to the man in person.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of time has passed, Naruto and Sasuke have been meeting regularly, but they still need to have a serious talk.

‘This is great work, Suigetsu. Well done.’ Sasuke’s tapped a finger on top of the file.

Suigetsu’s eyebrows formed into quizzical angles. ‘What did you just say, Boss? It sounded like a compliment?’

‘It is not unusual for me to recognise people’s efforts,’ he said, keeping his voice flat.

Suigetsu laughed, holding his hands over his stomach. ‘Do you count sparing a select few of your staff death stares on a daily basis as _recognising people’s efforts_?’ He stopped laughing, but remained smiling his annoying shark smile. ‘You forget how well I know you, Sasuke. Or at least I used to. You’ve changed. The man I’m familiar with would never be caught playing boyfriends with an escort.’

At that moment, Sasuke wished he could give real death stares and that Suigetsu was burning alive before his eyes.

‘Do you think you know something, Suigetsu?’ Sasuke’s voice was ice.

The man’s smile didn’t falter, if anything it widened. ‘I know that you’ve stopped all your hook-ups. Except for one with that certain sweet-assed whore you gave me hell to chase down for you in the first place, and who you now book on a frequent basis without any need for my services as a middle man. I know you’ve even gone so far as changing your security so that he has fingerprint and eye recognition to enter your apartment if you’re not there.’

Sasuke’s expression didn’t waver. But his heart spiked at the last piece of information; it was dangerous on so many levels. There was no point in denying it. And the only person with the skills to discover the breach in what was supposed to be airtight privacy within the security firm was… Suigetsu.

He had to keep his composure while retaining the dynamics that had held them together through all these years and trust that Suigetsu was only looking to rile him as usual, only this time, in contrast to his normal idiocies, he had discovered something that did actually hit home. He gritted his teeth. It was hateful that he now had a vulnerability. A loud, obnoxious, yellow-haired vulnerability who he adored.

In a voice that was somehow both indifferent and totally commanding, he ordered, ‘Whoever your source is – deal with them.’

Suigetsu’s face mirrored that of a child who had dropped their ice cream. ‘He’s been useful to me…’

‘And now he’s not.’

‘Whatever.’ Suigetsu shrugged. He put his feet up on Sasuke’s desk. ‘Just tell me the gossip. I know the escort performed great in the video, and I met him enough trying to get him to agree to meet you to know that he’s even cuter in real life. And, a weaker mark than you would definitely fall for the whole big blue-eyed ‘trust me’ thing. But, _never_ you. What exactly does he _do_ that no one else does, that keeps you going back to him? It’s so unlike you, Boss.’

Sasuke leaned back in his chair. ‘For your outstanding work, I’ll indulge you once, and only this once. However, I’m disappointed you have to ask. If you are as familiar with me as you like to think, it’s so obvious, it’s boring. The amount of time it took you to initially book him, intrigued me. He obviously possesses an impressive skillset, but more than that I simply enjoy the power of having something other people desire.’ Sasuke gave a small smile. ‘No doubt it’ll amuse you, so today as I am in a good mood, I will share with you the secret that sometimes I don’t even bother to fuck him, I just have him sit in a corner until the session ticks away.’

Suigetsu’s eyes sparkled. ‘Are you experimenting with new kinks? I’ll sit in a corner for you anytime you want.’

‘I know you will. But, for today, we’re done.’ He indicated with a small movement of his fingers for Suigetsu to leave. But when Suigetsu was at door, he said, ‘Hnnnn, just a thought, Suigetsu, I truly am pleased to see you taking the initiative and finding the flaw in my security staff, but for future reference, I would suggest you don’t take on another such investigation without my express command. I won’t always be in the pleasant mood you find me in today.’

Sasuke examined one of the photos Suigetsu had procured and did not look up until the other man had left the room and the door was firmly closed. Then he sighed heavily and dropped his head in his hands.

***

Sasuke checked in the lobby first. Even though Sasuke had given Naruto free access to his apartment, it hadn’t stopped the blonde from hanging around (in Naruto’s words)/ flirting (in Sasuke’s eyes) with Kakashi when Sasuke was late arriving back.

But this evening, there was only the silver-haired man, and with a knowing smile Kakashi pointed upwards.

Sasuke ran up the flights of stairs at full speed. They’d been meeting regularly for four months, and he still had an incredible rush of excitement knowing Naruto was waiting for him in his home.

He paused briefly to check his appearance in the hall mirror, but it was for himself rather than Naruto, the escort never seemed to mind how Sasuke looked. He took a few calming breaths and then went to look for the man.

If Naruto arrived when Sasuke was here, he always shouted a greeting out in his biggest voice. His most frequent was, ‘Honey, I’m home’, which also made Sasuke secretly smile. But the blonde’s other close favourite was, ‘Room Service! Did someone order a whore?’ which did not make Sasuke smile.

However, when Sasuke arrived after Naruto, he preferred to silently slip between the rooms in the hope of not being noticed and having the luxury of watching Naruto unnoticed for a couple of moments before announcing his presence. He told himself it was logical curiosity to see how the man acted when he thought he was alone. But in reality, Sasuke knew it was just the pure pleasure of gazing freely at this strange person he cared so much for.

Naruto was not in the kitchen area, brow creased in intense concentration as he tried once again to ‘surprise’ Sasuke by cooking him a meal. Sasuke smiled with amusement, and admiration, at Naruto for never accepting that he was a useless chef. Naruto was not in the living room, brow creased in intense concentration as he tried to collect a hundred mushrooms, or gold rings, or whatever the goal was, in one of the many games Sasuke had bought for him. Sasuke raised an eyebrow at the huge state of the art entertainment system that now dominated this space. He never thought he’d own such a thing, but now he kept an eye on all the latest technology and consoles that were being developed, not merely for investment purposes, but considering whether any were worth obtaining prototypes of to impress Naruto with. And in truth, Sasuke never had an urge to pick up a controller when he was on his own, but when they played one of the silly cartoon games that Naruto adored, together, Sasuke ended up laughing more than he ever had before.

The yellow-head continued to gripe about the time Sasuke had let him think he was going to win the race, then unleashed a shrink bomb on him an inch before the line and then moseyed past his tiny car to victory.

‘But you looked so sweet,’ Sasuke had teased.

Naruto met his eyes and said, ‘You don’t like sweet things.’

And it’d been one of the many moments that passed between them when Sasuke could’ve moved in to caress Naruto and whisper in his ear, ‘There’s no one sweeter than you, and I like you’. But instead of that happening, they’d somehow got involved in a playful punching contest that lasted the rest of the date.

With a half-smile, Sasuke continued searching his apartment. If Naruto was tired, he didn’t wait for Sasuke in the bed, but had a strange habit of curling up in corners.  Sasuke purchased the biggest beanbag he could find and placed it in his study. What Sasuke had told Suigetsu was misleading, but not a lie. There had been nights when he’d come home to find Naruto snuggled up on the beanbag and left the man sleeping there while he worked at his desk, until by magic, every single time, Naruto awoke when their allotted time was up and dashed off.

Sasuke traced his hand over the beanbag that held the shape of the escort, but he was glad that tonight it was empty. He moved on, and it was in his own bedroom that he heard the sound of the shower running in the en suite, and louder than that, the unmistakable caterwauling which was Naruto’s singing. He paused in front of the door. Naruto wouldn’t mind if Sasuke walked in. He would no doubt grin and laugh and chat to him as he carried on showering. But he wouldn’t do that sexually teasing dance he’d done on their first meeting. It had frustrated Sasuke to hell and back at the time, but now he thought about it with nostalgia and yearning.

He looked around his room, which wasn’t his room exactly anymore. Naruto had never taken his souvenirs or missing luggage home, instead he’d placed all his things around Sasuke’s bedroom. There was only a sliver of mirror left visible between all the postcards Naruto had taped over it. Every surface had a snow globe or some other bit of tat on it. Some of Naruto’s clothes had been squeezed in the wardrobe; bright shirts hung over the top of Sasuke’s suits, but most of them were thrown on a chair, with the ones he’d obviously been wearing today just discarded onto the floor.  Sasuke considered himself fastidiously tidy, but he smiled when he woke up in the morning and saw he was surrounded by Naruto’s mess. He even wondered whether he could take some of it to his house, or if he could spend a weekend with Naruto there and somehow convince the blonde to leave all his things there.

Sasuke sat down on the bed. He took his phone out of his pocket and scrolled through his contacts, stopping at Suigetsu’s name. Was Suigetsu his friend? They’d known each other for a long time. They trusted each other, in that they knew the areas where they couldn’t trust each other. Suigetsu was aware of Sasuke’s fascination with the escort. It wouldn’t be revealing anything new to the man, and it was natural for friends to phone each other and talk about relationships and ask for advice. Sasuke’s thumb hovered over the call symbol, then he turned his phone off and put it away in a drawer.

What was he thinking? _He wouldn’t be revealing anything new_? Suigetsu already thought he saw weakness that Sasuke was ‘playing boyfriend’ with an escort. The man would never stop cackling if he learned the truth, that Sasuke hadn’t even got to the boyfriend part yet, he’d never gone beyond the one time on the beach sucking Naruto’s toes. Somehow when he thought he was showing commitment and revealing the full extent of his attraction by seeing Naruto regularly, he had instead, in popular speak, found himself ‘friendzoned’.  How was he expecting Suigetsu to even help him? If the man managed to speak between laughing, he’d mock him for being used by a common whore, and then tell him to come out to some club where there was a new go-go dancer that would cure all Sasuke’s idiocy.

Sasuke lay back on the bed. The truth was that he didn’t have a friend to confess his problems to. He’d never needed one. His whole life he’d relied on himself and his own judgement. No, not his whole life.

He walked out of the bedroom back to his study. He unlocked a bureau drawer, retrieved the key secured behind a false bottom, opened his safe, hidden behind books on his shelf, took the locked box out of it, and clicked the key into the lock.

There was a tremor in his fingers as he swung the lid of the box back.  He took a sharp intake of breath at seeing the only photo left of him and his brother together. For a moment he only looked at it, then he reached in, bringing it closer and holding it in front of his face.

‘Hello, Itachi. It’s been a while.’

Itachi smiled an open-mouthed smile. It wasn’t his brother’s characteristic expression, but it was the one he was frozen for in all time now. Sasuke closed his eyes and tried to remember how Itachi had normally looked. He saw nothing. He squeezed his eyes tighter. What had Itachi’s voice sounded like?  All he saw was blood. All he heard were screams. He swallowed and focused back on the photo. 

‘You’ll be glad to hear the business is going well.’

‘I’m a long way past caring about profit margins, little brother.’

Sasuke looked past the photo. Itachi was sitting in the corner on Naruto’s bean bag. Sasuke pinched his nose, ran his hand over his forehead and pulled at his hair. He didn’t feel ill. He didn’t feel shocked, or scared. His heart beat was steady; his fingers were no longer trembling.

‘You’re not real. You’d never sit on a bean bag.’

Itachi smiled the smile of the photo. ‘Neither would you. Uchihas are far too poised for _bean bags_ , aren’t we?’

Sasuke blushed, remembering cuddling up with Naruto, considering it a miracle that someone had successfully invented something that involved putting hard irritating beans in scratchy fabric and fooling people into thinking it was comfortable, and not caring because he was blindly happy.

‘I’ve got enough madness in my life – I really do not want to have to see a psychologist. Can you please creep back into whatever shadow of my mind you crawled out of.’

‘If you want me to, of course, I will. The only thing I’ve ever truly cared about is your happiness. But, as I’m here, why don’t you talk to me?’

Sasuke looked to the side, he looked at the photo and then he looked at the illusion sitting in the corner. He cleared his throat. ‘I think I’m in love.’

Itachi gave a small smirk.

A sadness clutched Sasuke’s heart, was even his imagined, ghost brother going to mock him?

But the smirk turned to a warm smile. ‘You should remember you can’t lie to me, little Sasuke. You _know_ you are in love. What do you love about him?’

‘Nothing, he’s completely unsuitable. He’s a mess, we have nothing in common. I have no idea…’

In a patient but firm voice, Itachi repeated. ‘What do you love about him?’

‘His smile,’ Sasuke said quietly. ‘His laugh. His voice. When I look into his eyes, I feel like a child… free, as if anything is possible. And I feel that he sees me, not for what I can do for him, but just sees me. Which is all ridiculous, I know. There is nothing substantial in it. In reality when he sees me, he sees the man who is paying him for the night, just like all the other men who pay him for the night, except I am the stupidest one as I don’t even know how to seduce him.’

Itachi gave a small shake of his head. ‘Of course you know how to seduce him. You’re choosing not to for the reason you just gave. You don’t want to be the same as all the other men; you want him to see you as someone special.’

Sasuke bit his lip. ‘He’s a whore. He does see me as someone special, someone very _special_. Like I said, someone who gives him the nice duality of getting paid and having a night off from his work at the same time.’

Itachi stood up and walked over to Sasuke. He kissed him in the centre of his forehead with lips so cold that Sasuke started shivering. ‘Don’t assume you know what he thinks. There is no need for clumsy guessing. Talk to him.’

‘Itachi, are you listening?’ A small part of Sasuke knew what a desperate question that was to ask this hallucination of his brother. But the rest of him didn’t care. ‘He makes his money selling his body, telling people what they want to hear. I can’t trust anything he says.’

‘You love him. Your heart is telling you to trust him That is worth having a real conversation with him and discovering whether he is brave enough, and respects you enough, to be honest with you. And I believe he will be.’

‘He is, right now, taking a shower – do you know what that means? I do. He always takes a shower when he’s been with a client before me. He’s literally washing another man’s spunk out in my bathroom! I cannot be in love with him!’ Sasuke had started crying. He didn’t know when, but his brother’s arms were wrapped around him. ‘I’m sorry, Itachi’ he whimpered. ‘I am so very sorry.’

Itachi made no reply.

Tears streamed down Sasuke’s face.

‘It’s okay, baby, it’s okay, I’m here, cry it out.’

The arms wrapped around him were warm, the voice soothing him was rough, but full of caring. He gazed up into Naruto’s concerned face.

‘I know it’s not okay, Sasuke, I know you wouldn’t cry without reason. But I don’t know what else to say. I’m like, normally so good at helping people and listening to them, but seeing you unhappy, I’m fighting not to start crying myself. Do you want to talk? Or do you just want me to hold you?’

Sasuke stepped away from the other man, forcing himself to swallow back his tears. He ran a thumb over the collar of the gown Naruto was wearing. ‘You found the new towelling robe I bought you?’

Naruto gave a wide smile though it didn’t reach his eyes. He spun around. ‘I love it. I hoped, guessed, it was mine what with the bright orange and everything. It was super cool because I overdid it today and was dripping sweat and feeling pretty rough, then I saw this in your bathroom and it cheered me up. The guy I was with was just so relentless, and I had to be the same to try and keep up with him. It was mad! There was this one move…’

‘I don’t want to hear about your lovers!’ Sasuke covered his face with his hands. ‘You’ve never gone into details before, why would you start now of all times?’

Naruto peeled Sasuke’s hands back. ‘I’m rabbiting away because I am nervous, I’m scared that I’ve done something really bad and upset you, but my ego isn’t so great that I think I’m important enough to upset you this much. And that makes me think someone else has upset you and… and…’ Naruto took a deep breath. ‘Do you remember the dentist thing where I told you about how there was a demon inside me full of hate and anger… I thought I had it under control… but right now I can feel the demon inside me waking up and roaring, because whoever has hurt you, I want them to be in pain… and I want me to be the cause of that pain.’

Sasuke entwined his fingers with Naruto’s. It was almost as if Naruto’s bright blue eyes were a different colour; it must have been the way that the light was catching them because, for a moment, they looked red with ferocity.

‘I think we should talk,’ Sasuke said.

Naruto nodded, his mouth for once not smiling, but a serious line.

 

Sasuke envisioned talking as them sitting opposite each other at the table conducting something similar to a business meeting, but the points of discussion being their relationship. Naruto evidently saw things differently. Sasuke found himself ordered to put his PJs on while Naruto prepared ‘something to make him feel better’. Then, his lower half was swaddled in bed, leaving his hands free to wrap around the huge mug of hot chocolate the blonde had made for him. Though, if there was actually any chocolate, it was hard to find amidst the mountains of whipped cream, marshmallows, random chewy sweets, and sprinkles, that Naruto had skilfully balanced on top. Naruto had started bringing his own food over to stock Sasuke’s cupboards quite soon into their arrangement, but this was the first time Sasuke had actually tried any of it. He flicked his tongue into the creation.

Naruto beamed at him. ‘Good, right?’

‘Good.’ Sasuke smiled. ‘I like how you’ve added extra sugar to the already sweetened cream, not many people would think of doing that.’

‘Extra calorie yumminess, right?’

‘How are you not round?’ Sasuke put the mug on the bedside cabinet.

‘Yeah, about that.’ He took his phone out of his pocket and showed Sasuke a photo of him with his arm around a man with a harsh fringe who was trying to compete with Naruto’s bright orange tracksuit with a hideous green jumpsuit. They both looked incredibly happy and exhausted as if they were propping each other up.

Sasuke licked his lips and spoke carefully. ‘I’m happy you want to share other parts of your life with me, but I really don’t want to know about…’

‘Bastard, if you get anywhere close to suggesting he’s my lover, I’m going to brain you. That is just too odd. Bushy Brows is one of my best friends, we spar together.  And he’s not gay, he’s madly, and I mean madly, in love with… ahhh it doesn’t matter, I’m trying to not nervous chatter about things you’re not interested in. The point is, he is who I was with before I came to see you. When I was talking about being sweaty, it’s because he never gives up, and I never give up, and we just keep going long after we’d both stop if we were anywhere close to normal. Do you understand what I’m saying?’

‘You have another friend with strange fashion sense,’ Sasuke replied dryly, but he wanted to lean over and kiss Naruto for telling him this.

Naruto leaned back in the bed for a moment, then he turned to Sasuke with an audible intake of air. ‘Okay. I’m going to do this. You don’t ask any of the questions people normally ask who have any interest in me, but you’re the only one I’d tell the truth to.’

‘What should I ask you?’ Sasuke gazed forward, but it didn’t matter whether he looked at the man or not, he was more conscious of the movements of Naruto’s body then he was of his own.

‘Here’s the top three questions I get. People ask why my hair is so yellow, whether I dye it and my pubes, which I don’t, this is just the colour they are.’ He tugged at a lock of his hair.

Sasuke couldn’t stop his eyes flicking to Naruto’s groin, though the blonde didn’t open the gown to display anything there.

‘They ask me how I am happy all the time. Because it’s a choice between that and rocking in the corner howling my head off, and having tried that option out, I found that smiling and laughing were better choices. And number one question, by a lonnnng way, people want to know how I became an escort, even though not one of them really wants to hear the answer.’

Sasuke wasn’t certain that he wanted to hear it himself, but then he looked over at the other man, and he knew he did. He needed to know everything about him.

‘Tell me,’ he said.

‘That’s what I am trying to do. But it’s tough, it’s not easy, yaknow, saying these things out loud.’ Naruto put his phone in front of Sasuke’s face again.

It was a younger version of Naruto (hopefully still legal as Sasuke couldn’t stop himself admiring the photo where Naruto had his top off) standing laughing, holding a lolly beside an older man with long grey hair, who was also laughing and holding a matching lolly.

‘That was my guardian…sort of guardian. I was like, you could say, kinda experimenting with my sexuality a bit at the time, and I used to dress up and dream about being a drag queen. I was pretty good, I’ll show you photos of that another time when we’re not being so serious. Anyway, we met when he’d been drinking and confused me for an actual girl, and he didn’t mind too much when he discovered I was a boy, and we travelled around together and had lots of fun. That was like the best time of my whole life.’

Sasuke’s mouth went dry. He studied the older man in a different way, noticing the solid muscular appearance of his body and then glancing down at the contrast of his own slim frame. ‘He was not your guardian then, he was your lover?’

Naruto rolled his eyes and made a growl of exasperation. ‘Why do you think everyone is my lover? I know, I’m hot, but every guy is not a gay man who wants to jump me! What did I say that made you think that?’

‘Everything!’

Naruto chuckled. ‘Okay, I’ll give you that. Maybe it does sound a bit dodgy, and I haven’t even told you that he made his crust writing dirty books which I helped him edit, or that he was like a super tough fighter, who’d only train me if I dressed up as a girl for him! But, yaknow, he was the best, the absolute best. Anyway, there was this woman he was in love with from way back in the day, and the purpose of all our travelling was to track her down. Everyone called her the Princess as she was third generation running this big crime syndicate. It ran really smoothly, she didn’t have to have anyone hurt or anything, they all came and paid her money to use her men to take them safely from A to B as if was a proper security service, rather than a protection racket. And, yaknow, I thought I was really tough and wanted to work for her, and made all these boasts about how I’d take over from her and be even more amazing than she was. I don’t know how she put up with me. She called me the Brat by the way.’ Naruto laughed for a bit. Then showed Sasuke another picture.

This was a photo of Naruto again with the grey haired man, but there was also an attractive blonde woman on the other side of him who had a cleavage that was enough to make Sasuke look twice even though female bodies were normally of no interest to him.

‘They both like wanted different things for me though, they acted like I was their kid and they wanted me to do the things they hadn’t been able to, which was go to university and become a doctor who wrote literary fiction, healing people’s bodies and minds is what they used to say. That I was the one who could be different and wouldn’t get trapped, that I’d escape from the bottom and change so many lives with my success.’ Naruto laughed, but the sound was sad. He put his finger on top of the grey haired man. ‘He died in a… it was so… these people…they knew him… he’d even trained them when they were young when they had no one else… but it was cold, they were in a rival gang and…’ Naruto shook his head.  ‘She didn’t take it well. She got into massive gambling debts, drank too much. But I didn’t know. Not straight away. She’d sent me away, using her money to get me into this fancy catch up place for people who hadn’t done well at school, or in my case hadn’t gone to school. In our phone calls she always made it sound like everything was fine. Then…’

Sasuke put his arm around Naruto and pulled the blonde’s head against his shoulder.

‘I heard things were bad through others. She’d lost all the business and been left with nothing but escorting. I worked in different cities because she couldn’t bear the thought of me dropping out of school for her benefit. But my friend, Haku, that’s the one I made the video with… they understood because their guardian had died too, and they were in contact with the Princess because they were looking for more money for a possible sex change operation… they called me back as they said things had got worse. She’d chosen the wrong people to gamble with. I… before, I thought that maybe I could still educate myself and do the escorting on the side… but the debts were so big, and interest was, I mean is… yaknow, this is a now thing, not the past… being added all the time.’ Naruto pulled away from Sasuke’s embrace and moved so he was sitting astride Sasuke’s lap and facing him. He held the photo up for Sasuke to see again, then threw the phone to the side on the bed. ‘I love her, she’s my family. I call her Granny because she’s sensitive about her age, which sounds mean, but I’m like teasing her because she’s so beautiful and she shouldn’t worry about those outside things anyway, because she’s got a kind heart, and is so giving… it’s just sometimes life doesn’t allow you to be the person you want to be, the person you truly are, if you want to survive.’ Naruto put his hands on either side of Sasuke’s face. ‘I was certain I’d do anything for her. And then Suigetsu came along and said you wanted to book me. And I didn’t want to, because I thought you sounded like an arrogant, rich prick. And that was when your friend was describing you and working hard to make you sound attractive! But Granny thought it could solve all our problems, that if I impressed you, you’d recommend escorts to your friends. And the recommendation of an Uchiha would triple what she could charge.’

Naruto dropped his hands away from Sasuke, but Sasuke caught them and held them.

‘But I fucked up. And I continue to fuck up. You haven’t recommended me to anyone and… and if you did it would break my heart.’ Naruto met Sasuke’s gaze. Tears rolled down his cheeks. ‘Since you took me to the beach, even though Granny needs money as much as ever, I’ve been cancelling clients. Not just the ones I needed to rearrange to fit you in… lots of them.  First it was just the same day, then it was the day after too. I kinda implied you used me so hard that I needed the break, and you give such ridiculous tips she never questioned me. Now I try to get the day before off as well. The truth is, I can’t do my job properly, I can’t give my clients the attention they’re paying for, because all I think about when I think about sex, is you, specifically you sucking my toes, you bent over me as I shoot my come into your mouth. Do you understand now what I am trying to say to you?’ He dropped his head. ‘I have this idea, I’m a good fighter, really good. I’ve been asked to fight for money before, but Granny has forbid me because I can’t risk taking a punch to the face and ruining my looks. But I think maybe…’

Sasuke kissed the tip of Naruto’s nose. ‘I don’t think I could stand the thought of anyone hitting you.’

‘I am _really_ good, I’m not likely to get my face crashed in or anything important broken.’

Sasuke physically felt himself shrink inside at just the thought of the tiniest possibility of Naruto being hurt. Did he have enough influence, did he have the right, to ban Naruto from trying to make money from fighting? He didn’t like either choice, but at least the prostitution didn’t involve the blonde getting pummelled by steroid pumped up psychopaths.

 

He decided to change the subject. ‘I’m so grateful for you sharing me all this. But you must know by now there’s only one question I want to ask you.’

They gazed at each other for a long time.

‘Yes,’ Naruto said. ‘That was the question I was trying to answer.’ His cheeks reddened and he rubbed the back of his head and spoke in his normal voice. ‘You do want to know how much I like you, right? Or did I get it wrong, was it something else? Like why I like my toes sucked? Or why we haven’t fucked yet? That one’s confused me, because I know when someone’s hot for me, and you’re hotter for me than anyone has ever been before. But now it’s been so long without us really doing anything, I’m seriously petrified about having sex with you in case it’s really crap and that you’ll dump my ass and wonder why you wasted so much time on me.’

Sasuke flicked his tongue over the tear tracks on Naruto’s cheeks. He put his hand on the back of Naruto’s neck. ‘There’s things I should tell you, about myself, and they may result in _you_ dumping my ass.’

Naruto gave a half grin. ‘Well, you haven’t drank the hot chocolate that I made especially for you, and that’s making me think you’re an ungrateful bitch who I should definitely knock off my Valentine ’s Day card list.’

Sasuke smirked and downed the whole sickly sweet concoction, though it was so big half of it stuck to the outside of his mouth.

Naruto lowered his head and looked at Sasuke through his eyelashes. ‘Can I lick your lips clean, or is that too close to kissing for you?’

Sasuke tilted his head towards Naruto. ‘You are always so desperate for a sugar high.’

‘I’m desperate for something.’ Naruto worked his mouth over Sasuke’s face, touching parts where Sasuke was certain there couldn’t be any cream, but he was not going to complain about the warm lips moving up and down his throat.

His hands instinctively went to the belt on Naruto’s robe. It would be so easy to undo it and have the man completely naked, but Sasuke let his fingers rest there as Naruto showed how skilled he was with his tongue, alternating between long licks from the hollow at the bottom of Sasuke’s neck following the contours of his chin up to his ears, and quick little butterfly kisses. The blonde left Sasuke’s lips for last, he ran his little finger over them, dragging Sasuke’s lips open, then sucked on his little finger, repeating the same thing with his next finger, through to his thumb.

Sasuke’s body was actually writhing, he made low moaning sounds, and the ache in his now hard cock was so strong he had no idea how and why he was resisting rolling Naruto onto his back and fucking him.

But through hazy, lust-set eyes, he saw himself put his hands on Naruto’s shoulders, and heard his voice telling the other man that they were supposed to be talking.

Naruto moved away from Sasuke and sat cross-legged on the other side of the bed. He breathed a little harder and his voice was huskier. ‘Sorry, you’re right, we need to get this thing sorted out between us, but it’s a little hard to concentrate when I can feel how hard your cock is.’ He swept his hands through his hair. ‘Okay. I think I’ve covered all I can say about me tonight. What do you want to tell me?’

Sasuke adjusted his position slightly as if he could cover his erection and pretend to have some authority when it was too clear to both of them what his body wanted to do. And he was further undermined by the fact his eyes were fixed on Naruto’s groin wondering if the blonde was hard as well underneath the loose robe. He couldn’t find his favoured nonchalant tones, and words that he hadn’t planned slipped out in a distracted voice.

‘Since meeting you, something has changed inside me. I’ve lost some of my control. I can’t remember when I last cried. And I was crying because before you arrived I thought I was talking to my brother’s ghost.’

Naruto slapped his fist down on his thigh. ‘I knew it! I knew there was a ghost here tonight! I, like, felt all cold and weird in the shower even though the water was hot. And I didn’t know you were back, I came to the study as I thought I’d feel better curled up on my bean bag because I always feel content and safe napping there while you’re close by working. And then I found you all teary-eyed and I forgot to mention the ghost, but I knew it! We are so not having sex here ever, ever, ever now that I know it’s haunted. You’re going to have to take me back to your house. Your brother doesn’t hang out there, does he? And if he does, there’s like enough rooms for him to stay in his place and not bother us?’ Naruto’s face flushed and his eyes suddenly lowered in embarrassment. ‘Oh, gawd, I’m sorry, honey, that was not the right response at all was it for you telling me you’re talking to your brother’s ghost. I mean, you’ve never even told me before that your brother was dead. Do you talk to him often? You’re so lucky to see him. Ghosts, like, terrify me, but you’re lucky to still know he’s there looking out for you, but he won’t watch us make-out will he? Fuck! I’m still getting this really wrong, aren’t I?’

Sasuke could say nothing for a moment, he could only stare at Naruto, wide-eyed. Finally, he managed to croak, ‘I was expecting you to worry about me going mad, not worry about a ghost watching us have sex.’

Naruto wiggled back to Sasuke and pulled Sasuke’s arm around him. ‘Can you forgive me for being such an arse? Ghosts are like a bad thing for me.’ He snuggled his head against Sasuke’s shoulder. ‘Some of my earliest memories are of the other kids chasing me, and I didn’t mind that part too much because I could pretend that it was a game and I was their friend, yaknow, it was better than them ignoring me. But they used to yell at me that my dead parents were watching me all the time and hated me so much that they were glad they were dead and they didn’t have to deal with their freak son. Then I had this nightmare, that I still get now, where my parents are ghosts and I’m screaming at them to leave me alone, and they do in the end, and then I’m so lonely, and I just weep and beg them to come back.’

Sasuke shuffled down so his head was level with Naruto’s. ‘I never want you to feel lonely or scared again.’

Naruto gave a small smile. ‘The weirdest thing is that I’ve never seen my parents as ghosts in real life.’

‘I don’t think that is weird to normal people.’ Sasuke rubbed his nose against Naruto’s.

‘The weird bit is I’ve got this one photo of them, and from that I imagine there’s this little safe space in my head, where there’s not ghosts that I’m scared of, but they’re somehow still alive inside me. And we chat and things, and my dad is pretty easy going, he likes to throw ball and I show him some of my martial art moves and he tells me how good I am. My mum is like more protective and asking if I’m eating properly and things. She approves of you because I told her how you forced me to go to the dentist and like healthy boring food.’

‘You talk about me?’ Sasuke did not even try to dissect the logic of how his heart skipped a beat hearing that his escort non-boyfriend chatted about him to his imaginary parents; he decided to simply accept the glow of happiness on this evening of incredibly confused emotions.

‘Yeah, of course! I can’t talk about you to anyone else, can I, because you’re a client and I’d never break your privacy.’ Naruto’s cheeks reddened. ‘Not that I’ve told my parents that I’m working as a prostitute, I pretend I’m still studying. And I think Dad guesses I’m gay, but Mum is always going on about the sort of girl I should be marrying. So I just like talk to them about you as if you’re my best friend.’

‘We are best friends,’ Sasuke said.

‘Are we?’

‘Yes. Pinky promise.’ Sasuke had no idea where that came from, but he put his little finger through Naruto’s. ‘You’re my best friend and I’ll always be there for you.’

‘Same,’ Naruto said with a huge grin.

Sasuke smiled, but in a serious voice he said, ‘Naruto, two things.’

‘Good things?’

‘Yes. I hope so.’ Sasuke played with Naruto’s hair, smoothing it behind his ear. ‘You remember I’m out of the country for two weeks?’

‘Of course I do, and that’s not a good thing.’

‘I leave tomorrow, so I don’t have time to organise things before I go, but when I come back I want to make things official between us. You can decide how you want it to work, I can keep on paying for your time, but I want all of your time, I don’t want you to meet any other clients. Or I can just pay off your friend’s gambling debts straight with no obligations that you owe me anything, and we can start meeting and _dating_ like a normal couple.’

‘Sasuke, that’s too generous, I don’t…’

Sasuke cut Naruto’s protest off with a kiss; a long, lingering kiss with his mouth pressed hard against the other man’s.

‘That’s the second thing. I can wait until we’re somewhere where there are definitely no ghosts until we have sex, let’s be honest, another couple of weeks won’t make any difference after all these months, and I’d rather it was something special between us. But I can’t wait any longer to kiss you. I don’t know why I’ve denied myself so long, you’ve got beautiful lips. It’s not something I’ve ever done before, so you might have to teach me how though.’ There was a slight heat to Sasuke’s cheeks.

‘I don’t think you need me to teach you anything. But I think we should practise lots and lots, just, yaknow, because I’m a nice guy and I want to help you get your confidence up.’

They tangled their limbs together, their eyes sparkled and they kissed and kissed as if they’d never stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big big thanks for continuing to stay with my story, I appreciate it so much. I really hope you are still enjoying it, and if you have time to leave any feedback, it brightens my day :D
> 
> Lots of love to MrJonesandMe for correcting my mistakes and making this an easier chapter to read for everyone!


	9. Chapter 9

The trip had gone so well, that Sasuke had extended it and been able to achieve more and create a network of connections beyond his expectations. His intellect and logic were still his prime business skills, but recently, (since he’d accepted his feelings for Naruto, there was no point pretending it was anything but the escort that was behind this development), he had begun to trust his instincts and it had resulted him in taking risks and obtaining rewards that would have never been possibilities before.

By not focusing entirely on business, as he normally would on such a crucial occasion, it had paradoxically made him sharper and let him see things that he’d normally judge as irrelevant. The best example, had been the sightseeing, which he customarily viewed as an obligatory waste of time. Instead, he’d looked at everything, imagining what Naruto would think, and this had led him to ask questions beyond the usual accepted stock ones. His genuine interest pleased his hosts. And then when he’d met a lesbian couple at one of the soirees, he’d engaged with them on a personal level, having what was surely the first conversation of his life about LGBT rights. His normal involvement in the ‘community’ was never more than dipping in to find his next fuck. Although the amount they were impressed by him, (and also the award winning trans journalist they introduced him to who openly begged to interview him), may have been marred if they knew why Sasuke spoke to them for so long. It wasn’t due to any personal eagerness to know about the plight and suffering of gay people across the globe. It was that near the beginning of the conversation, without thinking about it, he’d said, ‘That is the sort of issue that my boyfriend is very passionate about.’ It was the sort of issue he _imagined_ Naruto would be passionate about if the two of them had ever talked about politics, but the exact truth of the statement didn’t even matter. It was the first time in his life that Sasuke had ever referred to anyone as ‘my boyfriend.’ And it felt good.  He found himself waiting extra alert for when he could casually mention something about ‘my boyfriend’ again.

‘My boyfriend has so much energy, when he commits to a cause he never gives up, however hopeless it might sometimes seem.’

‘Yes, that is something my boyfriend would completely agree with, he had a hard upbringing and that has given him a strong empathy with people who struggle with the many challenges life can throw at you.’

‘Oh, I will definitely be bringing my boyfriend next time I visit your beautiful country. It’ll have to be a purely pleasure holiday though as he can be very stubborn about sharing my time with work.’

Back at the hotel, he stroked himself every morning and night, not thinking about explicitly sexual things, just dreaming of what it’d be like to have Naruto by his side all the time; from laughing at silly things like how Naruto would send hotels into crisis wolfing through their all-you-can-eat breakfast buffets, to happily sighing thinking of taking Naruto to visit all the most beautiful beaches across the world.

He restrained himself to texting Naruto once a day and calling him once a week, though they’d only spoken once. The other times, Sasuke had to be content with leaving a message and fighting to not drive himself mad visualising why Naruto hadn’t answered the phone.

 _He’s sparring with the weird looking man in the green jumpsuit_ , he repeated to himself, though that only worked so far, despite Naruto’s warning not to, Sasuke’s mind had them wrestling on the floor, tearing each other’s clothes off and… _He’ll be mine soon. When I get home, I’ll organise everything and he’ll be mine_.

And now he was home. After the first delay, Sasuke had decided not to tell Naruto the exact date of his return; he had to make their next meeting incredibly special. Arriving at the airport, he’d had a brief moment of regret. What could make him feel happier to be back than to see the yellow-head waiting for him with one of his huge grins and rib crushing hugs? And perhaps a kiss too.

But driving back through the city to his apartment, he was glad for the space. There was so much to think about. He and Naruto were going to have sex, they were actually going to have sex! But where? It had to be perfect.

His country house where they’d first met? The shower where Naruto had teased him? Maybe Sasuke could dance for Naruto this time…his cheeks flushed at just the thought…if he was going to do anything like that, and it was an incredibly large ‘if,’ he needed to practice.

But would the beach house be more appropriate? That had been their first (and in all honesty, only) sexual contact. And Naruto had been so happy by the sea, but would the idiot want to squeeze into the bunk beds again, which was sweet, but not ideal for Sasuke to display all his skills to Naruto. He wanted to give Naruto everything, this was a man who fucked for his living and Sasuke was going to have to work hard to stand out from every other man the blonde had ever been with. And how many men was that exactly? Did Naruto even know? Such thoughts twisted his gut, but here his logic helped over his emotions. Sasuke himself didn’t know how many men he’d fucked, all he’d be doing was estimating a number based on how many years he’d been sexually active, and how many different people he fucked in an average month. And he’d been fully aware from the beginning that all their dates thus far had been paid for and fitted in between Naruto’s other liaisons. He couldn’t prevent the pangs of jealousy and possessiveness, but he would not be a hypocrite, he would never judge Naruto for what he’d done before, it only mattered what happened after they were committed to each other.

And, oh god, such beautiful things were going to happen. And he was going to make it the most wonderful night of Naruto’s life.

The idea that was most appealing to Sasuke was of taking Naruto somewhere completely new.

He’d looked at London for the _Peter Pan_ connection, maybe doing a driving tour up to Scotland to visit J. M. Barrie’s birthplace in Kirriemuir, but was that striking the totally wrong note?

‘Hey, Naruto, I am planning to fuck you senseless on a holiday based around a children’s book you read to me when I was being pathetic and left useless from a migraine.’

Paris was renowned as a romantic city, but was it too obvious? Would taking Naruto to the Montmartre district and seeing the Moulin Rouge be a fun glamorous night out, or just an awkward reminder that Naruto was a sex worker?

There was so much to consider, so many potential pitfalls. But the challenge of discovering the ideal place excited Sasuke, and that was before he even thought about the reward that waited him.

He tried not to think about those details… and failed. Occasionally he’d had to stop whatever he was doing, and just lean against a cool wall for support, such was the heat that coursed through him when he imagined undressing Naruto, such was the force of desire when he thought of being naked with Naruto that the rest of his body weakened, leaving only his cock hard and yearning for the touch of his man, his boyfriend.

When he walked out of the stairwell on his level, there was nothing erotic in the pure joy that raced through him. Homemade ‘Welcome home, Sasuke’ banners were plastered everywhere.  On most of them the ‘Welcome’ was in massive painted letters, with the ‘home’ getting gradually smaller and the Sasuke squeezed in at the end. There were two done in reverse, where he’d started the ‘Welcome’ small and then got bigger as he realised he had more room than he thought, and finally one above his door, where the pencil marks of Naruto working out the right size before he coloured it in were visible. Sasuke looked around at them all; he was in love with a man who took a dozen attempts before he learned to plan first. He was in love with a man who didn’t care about appearances and perfection, who overflowed with enthusiasm and happiness and wanted to share that with Sasuke.

An envelope had been taped to his door: ‘Only to be opened by the sexiest man alive.’

He traced his fingers over the scrawl. He’d reread the note Naruto had left for him on their second date, countless times, he kept it folded up in his wallet, but it was as if he was seeing Naruto’s handwriting for the first time. How could a messy scribble appear so beautiful to him? He wished he could put it down to jetlag, but he had never before suffered any ill effects from flying.

He took it off the door, let himself in to his apartment, slipped his shoes off, and took the envelope to his bedroom. He’d left the sheets mussed from when he and Naruto had rolled about kissing the night before he left. He eased himself back onto the bed, remembering the weight of the other man on top of him as their lips pressed together. Why had he denied himself the pleasure for so long? He couldn’t remember a reason why he hadn’t kissed any of his lovers, he thrust his cock inside their asses which was surely more intimate than putting your tongue inside their mouths? There must have been a bad kisser somewhere that wasn’t worth holding in his memory, but had unfortunately made him miss months of the pleasure of feeling the warmth of Naruto’s lips against his.

The feeling of Naruto in his arms, their tongues gliding together, was so vivid and intense that Sasuke moaned. He opened his eyes, that he hadn’t realised he’d closed, and laughed at himself. He hoped he didn’t embarrass himself when he and Naruto finally were together; it was a genuine fear that he’d come just from the heat of Naruto’s body. He’d been close when all they were doing was kissing. When the day arrived, he’d have to behave like the teenage-boy-in-love he’d morphed into, wank himself off in advance, and wrap himself in two, no three to be on the safe side, extra-thick no-sensation condoms.

For now though, all he needed to do was read the letter that had been left for him. He took his time opening the envelope, thinking about how Naruto’s fingers had touched the paper he was now touching, before he decided he would not allow himself to become that pitiful. Then he ripped it open and unfolded the paper inside. It was a surprisingly pretty piece of notepaper, a floral pink with flowers decorating the border. Though the handwriting was big and loud and very Naruto like.

_Haha! You fail the first boyfriend test, you should think **I** am the sexiest man alive, but I’ll forgive you because I know you’re a vain, massive ego man and I’d be kind of disappointed if I wrote all this and you didn’t read it. I’m missing you soooo much, you wouldn’t believe it. I get all the security reasons, that the system shuts down and no one’s allowed in your place when you’re not there (actually I don’t understand the tech at all!), but I really wish I could lie in your sheets and shower where you shower. I have so many daydreams about me waiting naked for you in bed and you come home and find me and can’t resist me, etc. etc._

Sasuke tutted his tongue. The man seemed to write in the same manner as he spoke, spurting out his every thought, so why did he have to ‘etc. etc.’ that bit?

_I planned to make tons of money up while you were away, so I wouldn’t have to ask you for so much._

Sasuke body tensed. He sucked air in through his teeth.

_And I’ve done quite well, but it got really difficult when you delayed your return. I kind of was working towards that date in my head as starting my new life, and without you giving me the time when you’d be coming back, I got stupid panicking that you changed your mind and had sensibly realised being away from me that you don’t really have any use for me! To show you how pathetic, puppy dog I’ve been, I’m waiting all the time for you to ring, and then you ring and I am too frightened to answer because I can’t stand the thought of you long distance dumping me!!!! And Iike extra patheticness on top of that, just so you know totally what you’re getting yourself into, I’m not going to tell you how many times, let’s go for lots, I’ve been one click away from spending all the extra money I’ve earned and booking a flight out to find you!!!!_

He stared up at the ceiling and rubbed his hand over his lips. Not telling Naruto when he was back was supposed to be so he could make Naruto happier and surprise him with an incredible next date; it was to prevent Sasuke giving in to lust and having sweaty tired sex with Naruto after the flight home. He wanted it to be so special for both of them, not just a fuck almost out of physical necessity and weakened willpower. The anticipation of waiting was supposed to add to the eventual pleasure and excitement.  He hadn’t considered properly how momentous this change was to Naruto’s life, how nervous he’d be. How would he felt if it’d been reversed, and Naruto had left and had suddenly changed the date of his return and given no definite alternative? Sasuke banged his head back against the bed. He’d changed so much since meeting Naruto, but that had happened beyond his control, now he needed to consciously change. There’d been too many years of only considering his own needs, in his working life his selfish demanding arrogance served him well, but having a successful romantic relationship was going to require entirely new skills.  Even though he thought he was thinking about Naruto too much, he wasn’t thinking about him enough.

 _Anyway, I’ve made myself happy driving by your country place a couple of times, but Toady still complains and grumbles about the mudpaths pretending to be roads, but it’s got to be done as it cheers me up seeing your massive house and thinking about how we first met there, and the first time I saw you standing at your window waiting for me even though I was hella late. And I tell myself that you haven’t even fucked me yet and there’s no way you’ll end it without fucking me, and then once you’ve fucked me there’s no way you’ll end it at all. So win-win for me, and you_ _J_

_I hate you for making me feel so sad without you here._

_xxoxxo_

_your first and last and only whore_

_ps. you’re an amazing kisser_

_pps. I think about riding your cock 24/7_

_ppps. you’ve made me believe in reincarnation, cause the only explanation I’ve got of meeting someone like you, and someone like you liking me, is that I must have been some sort of amazing hero in another life who sacrificed myself every other day to save the world, and you’re my reward for all that goodness! Can’t wait to claim my prize and eat you up xxx_

Sasuke retrieved his phone from his pocket, his eyes fixed on the last line of the letter. He dialled Naruto’s number and when it rang through to the answer machine, he dialled it again. Three more times, but Naruto didn’t answer and Sasuke didn’t leave a message.

After all these months of his confusing attraction to the escort, Sasuke recognised the restless energy rising in him. It was good that Naruto hadn’t answered, the next time he spoke to him, he wanted their next date, in some ways their first date, planned out. What was the point of causing Naruto unnecessary worry if Sasuke hadn’t even done what he intended to? But still he was frustrated and on edge himself, he needed to burn off some of this mood before he could make the best decision. He changed into his running gear and headed out.

He didn’t run that often in the city, too many people to calm his mental health, too much pollution to help his physical health, but he pounded through the streets as if he was a seasoned urban runner out on his regular evening route. In truth, he gave little thought to where he was going, he let his feet choose the direction, and let his mind become blank and empty.

When the run had done what he wanted it to, and he felt completely calm and capable of making the right decision, he paused and looked around to see where he’d ended up. It was a part of town he recognised too well, every other week some politician or wannabe entrepreneur was begging for him to come here and invest in the reimagining renovation renewal and a thousand other meaningless terms that meant throwing money at ugly old buildings and hoping that some poor sales team was able to convince dupes that it was the new hip place to live.

A restaurant had been convinced into being ‘ahead of the trend’, a chain, but one of the high-end versions that middling people believed represented fine dining and sophistication. Despite the desolate location, it was packed. Sasuke glanced through the window at the people with open contempt at fools overpaying for stock food, before he reminded himself that tonight was the start of him truly working at becoming a considerate and empathic man.  So what if these people had no taste, it was their money to waste, nothing to do with him.

Sasuke smiled, pleased at how easy it was to be generous and kind spirited.  Then his smile widened. As if the universe was rewarding him immediately for his nice thought, he heard a loud roar of laughter and saw in the midst of all the conservative dark hues, a neon orange suit emerging from the direction of the restroom.

There had been so many occasions when Sasuke had wanted to see Naruto so much he almost imagined the man was with him, but the real Naruto was so distinctive and unmistakable that there was no pretending the flash of messy blonde hair he saw in a crowd was the sunshine yellow of his boyfriend, or the bit of orange on someone’s jacket was anything but a reminder of the brightness of the escort. But this was the real deal.

His instinct was to run into the restaurant and hug him tight, but his brain held him back. After such a long time apart he didn’t want Naruto’s first impression of him to be a sweaty mess. And then there was the curiosity that stopped him, wanting to watch how Naruto talked to other people…to see what ‘other people’ he was with. He was certain that this was not a place Naruto would choose to eat out at, he’d much prefer a cheap noodle bar than an expensive a la carte option.

Right now, Naruto was standing, just chatting with the waiter, the very cute waiter. Sasuke couldn’t even guess what Naruto was saying to make the man lose his professionalism and giggle along with Naruto as if they were best friends. However, the way that the waiter looked at Naruto’s ass when Naruto moved off was way beyond friendly. Sasuke glared at him, he knew from his own attraction that even the awful clothes weren’t enough to detract from how hot Naruto’s body was.

He forced himself to dismiss the waiter as irrelevant and returned his attention to Naruto. The table Naruto strode over to was only one away from the window. Sasuke’s heart slowed as he waited for Naruto to notice him, it seemed impossible they could be so close after so long and Naruto wouldn’t glance his way and see him gazing at him with absolute love and yearning.

But it was possible. Naruto was focused on his dining companions. Not what Sasuke expected, or in honesty feared, an older couple, and a woman who’s only discerning feature was pink hair. Ignoring the hair colour, there was a resemblance between the woman and the couple in skin tones, face shapes and body build. Naruto must be a friend of the family who were treating him to a meal out. Maybe they’d noticed he was sad, pining for Sasuke, and were cheering him up. It was a relief to see he had some normal friends in normal clothes.

Sasuke’s heart beat irregularly. Was he scared? Why would he be scared? Whatever it was, he couldn’t stand here staring for much longer. People on the tables nearest the windows _had_ noticed him and were beginning to look uncomfortable. And he couldn’t walk away when he was so near to the man he’d been thinking about nonstop. It was unexpected, but if he went in, paid the waiter to ignore his unsuitable clothes, he could sit down for a meal with his boyfriend and get to know the people that his boyfriend chose to spend time with. Maybe they’d become his friends too. Sasuke smiled a small smile that on anyone else would have looked nervous. Dating Naruto was going to change his whole life in so many ways. Naruto liked people, Sasuke’s enclosed safe world was going to be broken open and new experiences waited for him. The beating of his heart wasn’t fear, it was excitement.

Sasuke moved towards the entrance but stopped when Naruto suddenly leapt up on his chair, he held a wine glass which he tapped with a spoon so vigorously that Sasuke thought it was going to break.

‘Ladies and gentlemen and everyone in between,’ Naruto shouted out. ‘Sorry for interrupting your food, but I’ve got to do this right now in the microsecond that I feel brave enough. This beautiful woman is way too good for me, I’ve done absolutely nothing to deserve her company, her kindness and her truth, but she’s given it all to me. Every single day I am so happy to have her in my life that I can’t believe it. Sometimes I am even too scared to answer the phone when she rings me because I am certain she’s finally come to her senses and has decided to dump me.’

There was a smattering of laughter, cheers, claps around the restaurant. Everyone was smiling. Naruto’s voice had never sounded so warm and charming before. And vulnerable and loving.

Sasuke could do nothing but stare.

‘I think in a previous life I must have done something amazing as I can think of no other reason she’d put up with a clown like me but for the intervention of some universe defying karma.’

More laughter, more cheers, some ‘ahhhhhs’ from the female customers.

Sasuke’s throat burnt with bile.

‘I could talk about her all night, and I really mean that! I talk all the time and she’s the only person I’ve ever met that listens to me, who makes me feel like I am worth listening to. She’s the one person I can be honest with, she owns my heart forever and always, but I want her to have more than my heart, I want her to have my whole life.’ He dropped off the chair and went down on one knee. People stood up and Sasuke couldn’t see him anymore. But he could still hear him. ‘Sakura, will you do me the unbelievable honour of agreeing to be my wife? Will you let today be the start of a brand new beautiful chapter of my life, and allow me to be your fiancé until the day very, very soon when I can be your completely devoted husband?’

Sasuke didn’t hear the woman’s reply, but the screams of joy, the hugs, the people with their phones filming the happy moment, were clear enough.

He wiped his hand across his eyes. He was crying. He felt numb, but he was crying. He turned away from the restaurant, his feet pounded against the pavement and he ran as fast as he ever had. He needed to be home.

When he was home, he needed to be somewhere else, away from the ‘Welcome Home’ banners, all Naruto’s knick-knacks, the sheets, fuck the sheets, that they’d rolled about in, kissing and hugging and holding each other. He pulled them off the bed and wiped his tears away with them, then ripped them apart with a primal yell.

His heart thumped; his head throbbed. He wanted violence and destruction. But he refused to do this, he wouldn’t debase himself, he wouldn’t trash his own place because of the lies and cheating of a two-bit whore.

He grabbed his unpacked case, stormed out of his apartment and rung up to make a reservation at the hotel he most frequently used for visiting business clients. In the elevator he scrolled through his phone looking at the small list of people he had repeated hook ups with. The thought of any of them repulsed him. And with the mood he was in, he knew none of them could take him.

In his car, he texted Suigetsu the name of the hotel he’d booked into. Followed immediately by another text: ‘Now. If you can handle it. Don’t dare to waste my time if you can’t.’

Then he drove through the city, checked himself in and sat in the anonymous room waiting to finally get some relief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for continuing to read, and I was squealing with happiness that the kudos for this story is over 200, that feels incredibly amazing to me. I am super nervous posting this chapter as things are hitting a dark spot, so huge hugs for MrJonesandMe for all the encouragement and all of you leaving me feedback and inspiring me to keep on writing and sharing this story x


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sasuke takes out his frustration on Suigetsu's ass, literally...Suigetsu enjoys it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an interim chapter, I wasn't sure whether to include Sasuke and Suigetsu in a Sasunaru fic, but in the end have just written a shortish section (by my standards!) for anyone who might want to see Sasuke getting his sadism on, so you get a taste of what happened, but I don't think I've gone into incredible detail.
> 
> If you don't want to read it, I think you can skim through maybe just for a little bit at the end, or just wait until the next chapter which will continue and explain more what's going on between Sasuke and Naruto.
> 
> Thank you so much for all your comments on chapter nine, my time is a bit squished at the moment and I decided to use all my spare time to write and try and get the next chapters up as soon as possible, but I will reply to them all soon, I really do appreciate all your feedback, and I hope this twist wasn't too predictable or hurtful!

Sasuke watched with no expression on his face as Suigetsu slipped his shoes off then removed his coat and hung it up in the wardrobe. He was wearing a high necked sleeveless purple crop top and tight denim shorts. He lugged a large bag across the floor to the desk.

‘Did you misunderstand my message? This isn’t a weekend break.’ Sasuke folded his arms across his chest.

‘Fuck, boss, I’m praying to whatever sparkling gods and godesses look after desperate sluts that I didn’t misunderstand you.’ Despite his words his shark smile displayed how certain he was that he knew exactly what Sasuke wanted.

Suigetsu unzipped his bag and emptied it over the desk. Toys, lubes, restraints, gags and a couple of things Sasuke hadn’t seen before spilled over the mahogany surface.

‘So, as you can see I’m expecting this to be a safe word type of night? You got any favourites, I like ‘Karin’, for obvious reasons, she’s a cock block if ever there was one. I’m assuming  what happens is just between us two, but if you could make an exception and let me tell her, I’ll do whatever, and I mean, _whatever_ , you want me to do tonight.’

Sasuke stood up and strolled over to Suigetsu gazing out of the window rather than at the man.  Then in a sudden move, he grabbed Suigetsu’s hips forced him up on the desk, spreading his thighs apart with his own legs and pressed hard against him.

‘This is the type of night where there’ll be no safe word.  You can scream out Karin as much as you like, you can cry for your mummy, you can beg every deity you’ve ever heard of to intervene, but if I am enjoying what I’m doing, I am not going to stop until _I_ decide to stop.’ He lowered his hands and splayed his fingers over the smooth cool flesh of Suigetsu’s bare thighs. For a moment he caressed the skin, then he jerked the man’s legs upwards, causing Suigetsu to fall backwards tumbling a large dildo and bottle of lube onto the floor. ‘If that concerns you then leave now.’ He stepped back and left Suigetsu to awkwardly try and regain his balance. ‘But if you stay, there is no bargaining, you are doing everything, and I mean _everything_ , that I want.’

Suigetsu eyes were wide with an excitement that was echoed in the bulge in his tight shorts. ‘Is this real? Am I high? This has been like my fantasy since forever.’ He slid off the table and then his body language was shy; his hands playing over each other, his shoulders hunched in and his cheeks blushed.

Sasuke frowned, nothing embarrassed Suigetsu, was he going to be a disappointment too? Though try as he might, Sasuke knew he wasn’t even close to being ready to label what had happened with Naruto as just a mere ‘disappointment’. Whatever went down with Suigetsu (or didn’t), they were not comparable,

Suigetsu spoke in a quiet voice not meeting Sasuke’s disapproving gaze. ‘You know something, you were my first wet dream, in fact, you were all my wet dreams. You were how I knew I was gay. You started my obsession with cocks, trying to find one as perfect as yours, so I wouldn’t spend my life yearning after you, and being a pathetic pining fangirl like Karin.’ He looked up now and met Sasuke’s eyes. ‘And you were my true friend, I really felt we were connected. You were the only one who understood what it felt like when my brother died, and carried on treating me with exactly the same arrogant disdain, which is what I needed rather than being shuffled from psychologist to psychiatrist and back again. You didn’t even twitch an eyebrow when I told you all their diagnoses about how I was violent and dangerous, a natural murder. You just accepted me. I never thought I’d ever say this to you, but I guess now is the time, Sasuke, I l…’

Sasuke put a hand around Suigetsu’s throat and slammed him against the wall.

‘I love you, Sasuke. I always have.’

Sasuke stared at him with cold eyes. If this confession had somehow occurred between reading Naruto’s letter and seeing him in the restaurant, when Sasuke had wanted to try and be a better person, he might have been touched. He might have remembered how Suigetsu was after Mangetsu died, spineless, destroyed, looking as if the slightest thing would reduce him to nothing but a slushy puddle on the ground. And he might have wondered if he could have been a better friend, or just in fact a friend. Treating him with ‘arrogant disdain’ was not something that Suigetsu should’ve responded to.

Even with everything Sasuke had a deep down admiration for the man at saying it in defiance of Sasuke’s anger. But they were not words he wanted to hear from anyone again, least of all tonight.

He squeezed his fingers tight enough to leave marks, Suigetsu rested both his hands around Sasuke’s wrist, but did not struggle. They gazed at each other. Suigetsu was right, they did have a connection, and it was a self-perpetuating darkness.

With a shake of his head he released the other man and turned away. ‘We’re done.’

Suigetsu, seemingly unaffected by having his oxygen restricted, darted in front of Sasuke. ‘It wasn’t real, boss, just a play I thought you’d like.’ He shrugged and smiled his normal shark smile, though there was a desperation to his eyes that definitely wasn’t normal.

Sasuke meant to push past Suigetsu, but a vision of Naruto’s huge grin came vividly into his mind, how different it was from Suigetsu’s sly smile, how the blonde emanated light and happiness. And it was all a lie.

Without thinking he pushed Suigetsu face down on the mattress and started to spank, not with sexual playful preamble, but with anger and intensity. His hand thwacked hard against the denim, he put more force into it, but he was left frustrated, the material was too thick. He rolled Suigetsu over onto his back.

‘Take your shorts off.’

‘Oh, fuck, yes, boss.’

‘Call me Sir.’

‘Oh fuck, yes, Sir.’ Suigetsu fumbled with his buttons but finally undid them and slid them down his legs, revealing what Sasuke already suspected, that he wasn’t wearing any underwear.

Suigetsu’s erection sprung up hard when it was released from the bondage of clothing. Sasuke barely glanced at it, he flipped Suigetsu back onto his front and went to work on his now bare buttocks. Suigetsu’s body was as slim as when they were teenagers, though Sasuke would have liked more flesh to mark, he appreciated the small firm bottom and how vulnerable it looked under his relentless assault.

 When the white skin was red, one hand print overlaying another making one large bruise, Sasuke stepped away.

Suigetsu moaned and pushed his hips upwards. ‘More, I can take so much more, Sir.’

‘You will.’ Sasuke went to the desk and inspected some of the items Suigetsu had brought with him. He discarded the gentle looking prostrate massagers and selected the big dildo that Suigetsu had knocked on the floor earlier. As an afterthought he picked up lube. Not out of consideration, but because he did not want to waste time forcing it in, he wanted the man spread and filled immediately.

He flung the items by Suigetsu’s head. ‘Be quick,’ he commanded.

Sasuke turned away and inspected Suigetsu’s toys. His cock slightly twinged at Suigetsu’s whines as he was obviously pushing the dildo inside himself, but Sasuke had no desire to watch. Dreams of Naruto kept haunting him, his cock became rock hard at the thought of the blonde escort playing with these things, the pleasure of the tease as he watched Naruto slowly spread himself, they’d gaze into each other’s eyes, daring and taunting each other to see who broke first and whipped the toy away and gave into the desire for their bodies to be joined together.

Tears stung his eyes. He would not cry, his pain became anger. He twisted his head and stared at Suigetsu, laying on his back, writhing and struggling to bury the huge dildo into his ass.

‘Take it all now.’

With effort Suigetsu managed another half inch.  Sasuke strode over and pushed it into its hilt. Suigestu screamed and came, splattering over his stomach. He continued gasping but his body lost its tension and relaxed into the mattress.

In one smooth movement Sasuke pulled the dildo out and thrust it all the way back in. Suigetsu’s back arched and his eyes rolled, his mouth hung open but he didn’t seem to have the oxygen left to scream again.

‘Did I give you permission to come?’ He repeated the movement.

Suigetsu could only respond with a moan that turned into a squeak.

Sasuke fucked him harder with the dildo, five full thrusts, leaving Suigetsu trembling.

‘Did I give you permission to come?’

‘No, boss…Sir…Sorry, Sir…I couldn’t help it, Sir.’

‘Hnnnn,’

Sasuke spent some time selecting things to bind the man with, in the end deciding on cuffs for his wrists, a ball gag for his mouth and a leather strap around his ankles. Suigetsu was hard again before Sasuke had even finished trussing him up. Sasuke pinched his nipples and squeezed the man’s balls.

Suigetsu’s eyes widened, pre-cum glistened on the end of his prick. Sasuke glanced at it. It could be amusing to see how many times he could make the man come, but it would be more amusing to find out how much pain Suigetsu could take before, instead of declaring love, he was yelling how much he hated Sasuke.

Not that Suigetsu could yell anything now he was gagged. Sasuke smirked. Then he remembered a text that had made him dance around his apartment like an idiot.

_I know you don’t care enough what I think even to bother asking, but fyi I hate you too Bastard_

He would delete it. Later. For now he was busy. He took his belt off and whipped it across Suigetsu’s ass.

***

Suigetsu’s whole body was bruises and cuts, there were dried patches on his skin and the sheets were sticky with sweat, blood and spunk. He had climaxed five times. They were well matched, Sasuke wanted an outlet, Suigetsu was a perfect masochist, with him at least. He knew that when the other man went to certain exclusive parties, Suigetsu was the one who got off on causing pain and being the dominant one.  But when Sasuke had finally taken off the ball gag and pulled his pants down just enough for Suigetsu to have access, Suigetsu had dropped to his knees and begged like a natural cum slut.

And all Sasuke could think of was a yellow headed escort laughing and booming out in that rough voice of his, ‘ _Let me guess! Because you think you're soooo hot you expect me to fall onto my knees and beg you to do anything you want to my body for absolutely no charge?'_

The thing that concerned him was that he knew it was thinking of Naruto that got him hard not what Suigetsu was doing. And Suigetsu was doing everything, He deep throated Sasuke with such open eagerness, Sasuke fully believed it was capable for Suigetsu to come again. The man was made of spunk. He wondered if this was a general thing or due to his excitement at finally being with Sasuke. Which made him remember how hard Naruto had come when Sasuke had sucked his toes, even claiming no one had made him orgasm like that before. Did he say the same thing to that pink haired woman, even while his ass was oozing men’s come?

Suigetsu perhaps sensed Sasuke’s attention slipping, he grated his teeth against Sasuke’s sensitive skin. Sasuke grabbed Suigetsu’s hair, yanked him back and slapped him across the face.  Suigetsu’s eyes lit up. Sasuke teased his cock around Suigetsu’s lips.  Sasuke enjoyed the extra pressure, but he did not want Suigetsu to know all his secret turn ons. The slap was not a warning to a man like him, but all part of the game to see how hard Sasuke would slap him and how roughly he could bite Sasuke’s cock.

‘Do that again, and I’ll throw you out of this room just as you are,’ Sasuke said in his most nonchalant voice.

Suigetsu paused, his mouth twisting as he obviously considered whether the humiliation of being thrown into a hotel corridor would cause more hassle than it turned him on.  Sasuke hurried the decision up, by pinching Suigetsu’s nose and thrusting his cock back into his mouth. Suigetsu continued his previous sucking and licking with no more teeth.

The phone in his pocket vibrated, he took it out automatically, putting his other hand on the back of Suigetsu’s head when the man paused at the interruption.

Sasuke read the text without expression.

Hey! I try and always wait for you to contact me first, but I am truly going gaga here without you. I keep thinking I see you everywhere! Tonight it was so real I could barely concentrate. I just wanted to rush out and grab this random guy, I didn’t because I’ve done it before and it hurts too much because its never you. Plus shock horror random guys don’t like being hugged that much!! Well, some do, but that’s a whole other problem!!! ;) I am desperate to start a brand new beautiful chapter of my life with you. Please when you’ve finished buying up the world give me a ring. Lots of hate, Naruto x

It was much longer than the normal short messages he received. He deleted it and blocked the number. Then he put both hands on the back of Suigetsu’s head and fucked him as hard as he could.

***

When he came out of the bathroom, cleaned up enough to drive back to his apartment, Suigetsu was laying on the sheets, face down on the bed, the dildo still in his ass.

Sasuke picked up his case and walked towards the door.

Suigetsu leaned up on an elbow and smiled. ‘Thanks for letting me suck you off and everything you did, that was way wilder than I dreamed it, and I dream wild, but any idea how many more years I’ve got to wait before you  fuck me properly?’

‘Be grateful for what you got.’

‘I am.’ His smile widened but his eyes lowered for a moment. ‘You know what I said at the beginning wasn’t a play, it was real, don’t you?’

‘I know.’

‘And I know you’re never going to feel the same way. I hoped because of you getting regular with that round assed whore that maybe things were starting to change for you, and you were thinking of something more permanent for the first time in your life…and would look my way.’ Suigetsu sighed and stretched his arms above his head.  ‘But forget what I said, anytime you want to use me you can, aside from me just asking for you to fuck me, I won’t ever ask for more. You and I have always understood each other.’

‘I know.’ He took the final steps to the door.

‘Seeing I confessed that big thing, I might as well confess more. I know you warned me off any _independent research_ about you, but I decided that as you hadn’t specified it, that order didn’t include people you might enjoy fucking. I’m guessing I didn’t find anything you don’t already know, and that’s why you’re attracted to him, but do you want to see my file on your escort anyway?’

‘There’s no need. I’ll contact you if I have any further needs of your skills.’  Sasuke walked out of the room, out of the hotel, and down to his car without stopping. Then he cried for fifteen minutes before wiping his tears away and driving home.

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone reading this, it now has more kudos than any of my other stories and that makes me super happy that maybe my writing is improving, so big big hugs for inspiring me and keeping me writing x

Instead of fading away, the knocking on the door was becoming more persistent. Sasuke turned up Beethoven’s ‘Moonlight Sonata’ another ten sound bars. He could put headphones on. He could move to one of the back rooms. But he remained where he could hear, and glanced every few minutes at his watch. Naruto was eight minutes off being outside his front door for exactly three hours.

Sasuke hadn’t warned Kakashi not to let him in the building, he hadn’t expected him to come without an invitation, surely the lack of any contact was a sign that he wasn’t wanted? But Naruto had had the payday of his life dangled in front of him, of course he wasn’t going to give up so easily. He had a new family life to plan for. At least he hadn’t been stupid enough to reactivate the hooker’s security clearance so the man was stuck outside his door.

‘Sasuke, please.’

There was a note of such pleading sadness in the man’s voice, that without thinking Sasuke switched his music off, picked up his glass of wine, walked to the front door and sat down with his back against it. For a while he didn’t say anything, but listened, sipping his drink, to a variation of the same thing Naruto had been saying all evening.

‘I need to see you. I can’t take this silence. I can’t accept it unless I hear you tell me face to face. We got so close, it was so real, you said you were my best friend, I know you are my best friend, can’t we still keep in contact and have that, even if you don’t want me for anything else? I care for you so much, I won’t ever give up on you, I’ll always be here whenever you need me. I’ll do…’

‘I don’t need you.’ The words slipped out. His voice was quiet but the other man must have heard, by the sudden silence.

Sasuke pressed his back against the door and glanced at the handle. Was Naruto still there? If he opened the door would he finally be gone? In the end all it took to get rid of him was four words.

But then the voice started again. ‘We all need friends, Sasuke, even you.’

Sasuke exhaled. He hadn’t realise he’d been holding his breath.

The sound came from a lower place. If Sasuke looked in the video monitor focused on the door he knew he’d see Naruto sitting down exactly opposite him, his body separated from touching Sasuke’s by nothing but the wood. He wondered how he’d be sitting? When he was most alert Naruto’s body language was confident, spread out, occupying as much space as possible. When he was relaxed and happy, like when they were playing games or mucking around, and, with this seemingly constantly hungry man, when he was waiting for Sasuke to make him dinner, he often crossed his legs, or just pushed his heels together, leaning forward and watching everything with those amazingly bright blue eyes. But when he was tired, and surely, he must be tired after hammering on Sasuke’s door for all this time, he made himself smaller, pulling his knees into his chest, wrapping his arms around his legs and bending his head over making a cocoon of his body. In those moods, he also liked to snuggle under Sasuke’s arms and lay against his chest, mumbling apologetically about whether he was too heavy. Which he wasn’t. Naruto could never be too heavy for him.

Sasuke shook his head. Stupid thoughts. He could mentally dispose of everything he knew about the man; it was all useless now. And it had always been useless, always a lie, an act from a practised whore. He looked at his wine glass, gulped back the rest of the red liquid and turned the empty glass around in his hand as he tuned back into what the escort was saying.

‘No one has ever made me feel like you do, and I’ve fought so hard to try and protect myself, but our last meeting when you said you wanted me just for yourself…’

 _When I offered you an incredible amount of money_ … Sasuke tipped his wine glass against his lips forgetting for a second that it was empty. He thought about going to get the bottle, or swapping to whisky, but didn’t move.

‘…and, yaknow, I’ve had plenty who’ve made the same offer, but I’ve never even been tempted despite all the benefits it’d mean. But with you…and the kissing. I didn’t want to brush my teeth, I wanted to keep the taste of you for as long as possible, but I just thought of you giving me a lecture and dragging me off to see Shizune again and telling tales to her about how I don’t have a proper dental routine.’ He chuckled. But then in a soft, serious voice he continued. ‘And I told myself I didn’t have to hang onto that night as if it’d be the only time, like you told me when you were teaching me to swim and I didn’t want to stop, _we don’t have to fit it all in right now, we have more time together_. See I can remember the things you say to me, like you remember what I say.’

Sasuke imagined a triumphant grin on Naruto’s face, the kind he gave whenever he thought he’d beaten Sasuke in some trivial way. Sasuke sometimes let Naruto win just to see that smile.

But the escort’s voice was sombre. ‘It meant so much to me that you trusted me enough to kiss me, I managed to hold it together when I was with you, but later, baby, you’ll laugh so much at this, I actually cried thinking about kissing you and how beautiful it was.’

‘I’m not laughing.’ Sasuke licked his lips.  He’d meant it to sound harsh, to warn the whore away, but Naruto’s voice perked up, full of its irresistible light. _Almost_ irresistible.

‘You’re not? You understand how I feel? I like kinda have this place with you where I feel we’re both safe with like our armour on or whatever, and in that place, I think you’d think that me crying because I’m overwhelmed at kissing you was totally weak and you’d immediately dump my ass. But then there’s this other place with you where we’re both…I don’t know what we are, but there’s no armour, or protection, and when we’re there I think you’d hold me forever if I cried in front of you.’

Sasuke’s heart was responding to Naruto’s voice, his body yearning to touch and kiss the man again. Then he looked at the glass he was holding and remembered Naruto standing on the chair in the restaurant, tapping a different wine glass, about to announce to the world how in love he was with a woman. Sasuke hurled the glass, it smashed against a wall.

‘Are you okay? It sounds like something just broke?’

 _Don’t worry, only my heart_. ‘I threw a glass. It was empty,’ he replied flatly.

 ‘Yeah, I get that, it’s a bummer when you think you’ve got something to drink and there’s nothing. I’d totally do that all the time. If I like had glasses at my place they’d all be broken by now.’

‘You don’t have glasses? What do you drink out of? Little plastic beakers?’ Sasuke turned his head so his ear was against the door.

‘They’re not little…but they might be plastic. There was like this offer where if you collected all these tokens you could send off for these really cute limited-edition beak…drinking vessels…with all the best Disney animals on.’

‘And what are the best Disney animals?’

‘Hey, what do you think? It’s not hard, because like they are the best ones so the first things you think of when you think Disney.’

‘How many are there for me to guess?’ Sasuke traced a finger over the door imagining the shape of Naruto’s body on the other side.

‘Eight. Well, there were supposed to be eight, but I didn’t manage to finish collecting all the coupons in time so I only got seven and missed out on the Cheshire Cat…’

‘I like cats.’

‘Do you? I really wish I’d got him now then, but I left him for last as I thought, yaknow, the way he disappeared and reappeared was a bit like a ghost and…

‘You don’t like ghosts.’

‘No. But if somehow I’d known that I’d be lucky enough to meet a really cool guy who likes cats I would have got him first.’

Sasuke’s mouth was dry, but he spoke clearly. ‘Seven to guess then?’

‘Yeah, though Nemo and Simba have been retired as they were getting a bit faded, they’re safe in my room, and…’

‘Five then?’

‘Dumbo got lost in the move which was really sad.’

‘Four?’

‘Sebastian’s gone. This crack just appeared from nowhere and I tried to mend it but…it made it worse, worse as in I broke it in two when I was trying to get the glue in.’

‘If I say nothing are you going to tell me them all, idiot?’

‘Sorry! No, there’s three left. I won’t say another word. I’m zipping my mouth up. Well, miming zipping my mouth up. I’m telling you because you can’t see me, so you…’

‘The reindeer from Frozen, the rat from Ratatouille, and both dogs from Lady and the Tramp on the same item.’

‘Yeah! Perfect. See it’s easy right because it’s the best animals and…’

‘It’s easy knowing that Disney is a massive firm which follows safe tried and tested business structures of marketing themselves through their highest grossing film products whilst creating an illusion of tradition and familiarity by continuing to keep their older brands in the public eye. The only possibility of error comes in the fact that you did not specify when you started collecting your coupons so I had to guess, with the only clue being you lost one when you moved, and ignore the most recent films. If it was a genuine homage to the best animals they’ve animated then it would be…

‘Pongo and Perdita because they’ll do anything to look after their children, and you know with parents that great the pups are never really in mortal danger, even with scary Cruella de Vil wanting to skin them alive.’

Sasuke pressed his fists into the floor. Even if it was all a hustle, even if it was only down to Naruto’s special skill, reading people incredibly well, seeing the intimate secret small things about them that they’d never spoken aloud before, and the escort had done it for dozens of people before Sasuke and would do it for a dozen more afterwards, did it matter?

‘I bet you prefer the book though, right, and were disappointed even as a little kid when you watched the film? But still Pongo and Perdita are like superparents, and so they are your favourites. Of all Disney characters, not just animals.’

‘And your favourite is…’ He was about to say Tigger, but he stopped. The bright bouncy stupid tiger could actually be Naruto, but the man would never choose his favourite as the one that was most like him. ‘Eeyore. Because he is sad and finds life difficult, but he keeps going and his friends are always there. And you prefer the book too.’

‘I do. But I haven’t read it for a long time, the ending makes me sad. Maybe you can read it to me one day? It won’t be sad in your voice.’

‘Maybe.’ Sasuke tilted his head back and stared up at the ceiling. ‘Naruto, go home. I’m not up to seeing you, I’m not feeling well, not since I came home.’

‘But you’re going to work and you look the same as normal. Not that I’m spying on you. I am spying on you. But just a bit. Not like full time spying…Sasuke?’

‘Yes?’

‘Have you not contacted me because of the banners…and the letter I left you? Was it too much? I know you’re a reserved kind of guy. When I said I almost booked tickets to fly out and see you did that put you off? I wanted to be true to you, so you know who I am, and how I feel, and I am scared…of myself. I was fine before when we hardly saw each other, but now I’ve started to…I’ve let myself think of you as…a friend…I got terrified that you wouldn’t come back to me and I needed to come and find you. I don’t think my emotions are normal? But I’ve never let myself feel for anyone like I do for you, so I don’t know if the way I think about you and want to be near you all the time is just obsessional crazy or this is just what it feels like for everyone when they fall in…’

Sasuke put his arms around his stomach, sharp pains were stabbing through him. ‘I’m going to bed now. I’m being honest with you, since my return I’ve felt sick every day. But I don’t take time off work, I just rest when I can. I delayed contacting you because I wanted the next time we met to be the most special date when we made love.’ Sasuke’s voice faltered. Why couldn’t he have just said ‘fucked’?

‘I can look after you. I promise I won’t try and cook, I’ll get take away, and read to you and hold you until you feel better again. You’re special enough, I don’t need anything else.’ Naruto’s voice was rushed and full of concern and caring. ‘You don’t have to be at your best for me, you just have to be with me.’

Sasuke pushed himself up to a standing position. He didn’t think he could hurt any worse, but there were silent tears falling from his eyes. Could he just pretend it was real, just for one night? They could just talk about meaningless things like Disney characters, he could look into those blue eyes, kiss those beautiful lips. He gripped the door handle but didn’t turn it.

‘If you let me, I’ll be completely devoted to you forever.’

 _Just like you said to your fiancé. How many other people are you completely devoted to?_ Sasuke dropped his hand back to his side. ‘I’ll arrange a date when I feel up to it. Please leave me in peace until then.’

He walked to his bed without waiting for a reply and crawled under the covers without undressing, hoping that sleep would find him quickly and take away this pain.

 

In the morning, Sasuke focused his mind on nothing but business. He was pleased with his mental control. Until he opened his door and saw, curled up like a wild animal desperate to keep itself warm, the person that took away all his composure. He’d dropped his case and was half way to bending down to pick Naruto up and take him inside, before he managed to stop himself and straighten up again.

‘Don’t you have money to earn, other people to manipulate and fuck with? You ran away from all our meetings fast enough when the time ticked out.’ Sasuke’s voice was cold, but gazing down into that face that was so familiar to him, he knew that if the whore opened his eyes and smiled up at him, Sasuke would be lost. More than that, he’d be happy, glad to throw his money at the escort and pay for his lavish wedding and gift him an amazing honeymoon, just so he could believe that Naruto was what he claimed to be: his best friend.

He stared at Naruto for a full minute, barely breathing as he waited to see if Naruto would wake up, or not. The man wasn’t snoring as he normally did and his fingers and feet were twitching but he was fully asleep.

It was a trick. Laying here, aware how innocent and sweet he’d look, how vulnerable. He’d discovered Sasuke had a weakness for him and this was just another way to exploit it, hoping that Sasuke would take him into his home again and then Naruto would miraculously wake up and before long the conversation would somehow turn to his beloved ‘Granny’ and her debt problems that kept him working as a prostitute and not spending all his time with Sasuke as he’d obviously love to if he could.

Still Sasuke couldn’t just leave him there like that. He went back into his apartment and returned with a blanket and pillows. He swaddled Naruto up in the way that the man always did to Sasuke, trying (and failing) not to pause to feel the strong muscular body. He put the pillows under Naruto’s head. The man was completely compliant and malleable, apart from the fact he tried to snuggle towards and around Sasuke’s arms and made little grumbling noises every time Sasuke pulled away. Sasuke was on the verge of walking away, but again went back into his home, this time bringing out some of the sugary cereal Naruto ate by the handful straight out of the box, a flask of coffee which should keep its heat until the man awoke, and a small tomato salad on the very unlikely chance, he wanted to be healthier. For the third time, Sasuke tried to walk away, with a sigh of defeat he hunkered down and kissed Naruto on the forehead.

‘Why couldn’t you be what you seemed? A stupid, childish, ridiculous, silly, happy, funny, crazy hooker?’ He caressed his thumb over the scars on Naruto cheeks and then ran away before he started crying again.

In his car, he forced himself to keep driving to work and not u-turn back and check that the escort was all right. He bit his lips. It took far more willpower than it should have. He was too weak. He did need another date with Naruto, he needed to cure himself and the way to do that was to show himself once and for all what Naruto really was.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First in this chapter, a small warning that there is allusion to dubious consent/ no consent, and Sasuke starting to go down a very bad path.  
> There is also a tomato plant.
> 
> I didn't want to hold all my lovely readers in suspense for too long so this is a monster chapter, and I am very grateful to my beautiful beta reader MrJonesandme for wading through it all until the early hours of the morning so that I could post it today.
> 
> I am crossing fingers that you like how this all turns out, and I look forward (though with some nerves) to reading all your comments.

The knocking was light; it was only because Sasuke was listening to every single sound outside the motel room that he heard it. He paused, but only for a few seconds, before he stood up and answered it.

Naruto stood there, grinning hopefully. He was in one of his stylish outfits, his work outfits, black suit, white shirt, bow tie, his messy hair, tamed and fashionable. He would have been totally misplaced in this cheap setting, but for the incongruity of the fact that he was holding a tomato plant out in front of him. It was a plastic pot with ‘Sasuke’ written on it, a different colour of glitter for each different letter.

‘I planted the seed ages ago, and like he didn’t follow the instructions and took way longer to grow than he was supposed to, but he’s got flowers now, and they’re going to be fruit…because tomatoes are apparently definitely fruit not vegetables, even though they taste yucky like vegetables, see I’m learning stuff for you.’ He flashed his familiar smile, but then looked nervous again. ‘I don’t know if this is the right time to give him to you, but the bigger he’s got, it’s made me more scared I’m going to do something wrong and might kill him. He’s the first thing I’ve ever managed to grow. So, um, I want you to have him as I grew him for you.’ He held it out further in front of him, Sasuke didn’t move to take it. ‘He likes being sung to in the morning and having his leaves stroked at night. Though, yaknow, I work irregular hours, so he’s used to things happening at odd times. They don’t have that in the books, but I guess you know all the stuff about feeding him and keeping him watered?’

Sasuke contemplated at the plant, it was slightly easier to look at than the man. ‘I am not a gardener, why would I know how to look after it? I’ve got better things to do with my time than care for scraggly plants.’

Naruto hugged the plant pot against his chest and stared down at it himself. ‘You’re not scraggly, you’re amazing and beautiful. Ignore the nasty man.’

‘The plant can ignore me, but you can’t. It was difficult to book you in the first place, I’m paying for your time, I have no intention to waste it. Get in here.’ Sasuke’s voice was cold, though his chest hurt and right now his biggest desire was to be a tomato plant held by an escort and gazed at with adoring blue eyes.

Naruto widened his eyes. ‘Yeah, I wanted to ask you about that, why didn’t you phone me direct? Why use Suigetsu again? I’m working tons of hours at the moment, but you know you’ve just got to click your fingers and I’ll find a way to fit you in. There was so much stuff going on, I didn’t get the message for ages that you were after me, and…’

‘Just put your damn plant down and come in. You may not have ever realised this but my time is actually worth a hell of a lot more than yours and I’m not in the mood to listen to you blabber on.’

The hooker’s face turned into a petulant scowl, but he walked into the room, placing his plant carefully in the corner, caring so much about leaving it in the correct position regarding light and temperature, (as if there was such a thing in this room with its peeling wallpaper, nicotine stained ceiling, and grease covered windows), that it took him a shockingly long time to notice the other occupants awaiting his arrival. When he did, all his muscles tensed, his face paled, and he surveyed them like an animal expecting danger. The change was only for a moment, before his grin returned and his body appeared to relax, but Sasuke knew him well enough to recognise his poise was different from normal, his legs wider, his arms hanging looser, ready to run or attack in any direction.

‘I didn’t realise there’d be other people here? Your friends?’

Sasuke looked at the three men he had chosen for this occasion. They called themselves, Hidan, Deidara, and Kakuzu. Kakuzu was hunched in the corner recounting the cash Sasuke had paid him, Hidan was splayed out on the bed, eyeing Naruto; he held a thin silver chain, which he casually twirled around his finger, that connected to the collar around Deidara’s neck. Deidara sat with his arms crossed on the floor gazing up with menace at Hidan. There was a definite aura around all three of them that made it clear they weren’t anyone’s friends.

‘This is your surprise, _Nicky_. The thing I’ve been planning for you. These men are like you, give them enough money and they’ll do anything. Today they are going to fuck you and I am going to watch.’ Sasuke leaned back against the wall, the layers of grime sticking to his clothes were nothing compared to what was happening to his soul just through pronouncing those simple sentences.

‘Hey, guys,’ Naruto waved at them. They stared back at him as if he was speaking an alien language. ‘No offense to any of you, but I wasn’t given any warning about this and am not prepared.’ He turned his head to look at Sasuke. The smile rigid on his face. ‘We’ve never really had that conversation about what you can expect to get for your buck when you hire an escort, have we? If we had, you’d know that you can’t spring something like this on someone.’

‘It wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you in advance, would it?’ Sasuke didn’t look at his whore, but stared at the big man, holding the notes up to the light to check their authenticity. ‘It was important to me that it was a surprise. You’ve provided me with so many _surprises_ , I wanted to return the favour.’

Naruto glanced over the men again and then gazed at Sasuke. ‘This isn’t really my thing. I thought you knew that I don’t have random sex, I choose my clients carefully.’

Sasuke shrugged. ‘This is what I want. This is what I’ve paid you for.’

On the outside, Sasuke knew he would look as cool and indifferent as he always did, but inside he was sweating. The loudest and most persistent voice in his mind was silently pleading. _You’re right; this isn’t your thing. Please leave, Naruto, please just walk away from this and go make glittery plant pots for your fiancé. You don’t belong here; the money isn’t worth it._

A determined look appeared in Naruto’s eyes, a look Sasuke knew from when the man wanted to learn how to play ‘Chopsticks’ on the piano no matter how long it took, and when he’d swallowed too much sea water and was coughing constantly but still insisted he wanted to carry on trying to swim, and when he concentrated so hard on recipes he wanted to make for Sasuke but still got everything completely wrong.

Naruto gave a small nod. ‘If this is what my boyfriend wants then of course I’ll do it.’ He leaned towards Sasuke, his lips angled to brush against Sasuke’s cheek, his hands reaching for Sasuke’s. Sasuke leapt away. Naruto stumbled, his expression wide eyed and wounded, before he quickly hid it behind a chuckle and that habitual gesture of rubbing the back of his head.

The man called Hidan barked out a loud mocking laugh. ‘Young blondie’s got ideas above his station, calling a john his boyfriend! Haven’t you learnt yet that your type never has boyfriends? Just an occasional john who takes longer to get bored of you and move onto the next piece of ass.’

Kakuzu snarled at him. ‘Mr Uchiha told you not to talk. If money gets deducted it is coming out of your share.’

Sasuke gave a dismissive wave of his hand. ‘You may all talk again. Just ensure it is a good performance.’

But his heart thumped, and he worried that his face was flushed. The loss of composure when Naruto had moved to kiss him, went deeper than just leaping away from the other man.

Hidan dropped Deidara’s chain and the three men strode towards Naruto as if they were one beast with one purpose. Which they were. What instruction had he given before Naruto arrived…that he wanted the hooker sexually destroyed. He’d meant it when he said it, and they’d all accepted the task and had understood at such a level that even the most talkative one, Hidan, hadn’t felt the need to question the details. But now alarms were screeching through Sasuke’s brain, alarms that should have gone off the moment he came up with this idea to cure him of his feelings for Naruto. What was wrong with him, that he’d lain awake night after night imagining this meeting, without realising how terrible it’d be? He should have learned years ago that vengeance didn’t work.

But no, this wasn’t vengeance, this was different, this was to prove to his idiotic heart that Naruto was just a common whore who’d do and say anything for money.

Naruto clapped his hands together and sprung from one foot to the other, that smile still on his face. ‘So how do you want to do this? Even if you’ve all been recently tested and are on PrEP, I insist on condoms. Aside from that I’m open to all possibilities. Do you want to take me one at a time, spit roast, make it up as we go along?’

Sasuke swallowed. _No, no, and no._

As Naruto spoke, the three men walked around him, making the room feel smaller and even more crowded than it was in reality.

‘Do you lads do this a lot then? You’re used to working together? I’ll try and fit in with your rhythm if you let me know what your limits are, have you got a safe word you prefer?’ Naruto’s voice didn’t falter. 

Sasuke felt like his lungs were being crushed. He remembered vividly his time with Suigetsu, his warning to the man that there would be no safe words, and how Suigetsu had looked after he finished with him. Suigetsu had enjoyed it, proudly texting Sasuke photos of the bruises that were slow to heal. Maybe Naruto would too. Like the whore said, they didn’t actually know anything about each other sexually. Maybe he’d come as often as Suigetsu had. Maybe he’d come harder than when Sasuke had lovingly caressed his feet.

‘This one is a work of art, yes?’ Deidara ran his hand over Naruto’s shirt. ‘But art should be temporary, beauty is an explosion, yes, we will remake him into something else.’

Hidan squeezed Naruto’s ass, he put his mouth by Naruto’s ear but spoke loud enough for Sasuke to hear. ‘Fucking for me is spiritual, it makes me feel immortal, the more you scream the closer I am to my god. I hope you’re not one of those who likes pain. They bore me.’

When he’d finished surveying him, Kakuzu stood to the side and pointed to the bed. ‘Nicky, get on all fours. Deidara you can open him up while he sucks and wanks me and Hidan. Then we’ll both take a turn individually before we DP him, he looks strong so don’t hold back, use him hard from the beginning.’

With the men surrounding the whore, Sasuke couldn’t see Naruto properly, did he get onto the bed willingly, or was he pushed down? Kakuzu immediately positioned himself in front of Naruto’s head, grabbing a handful of Naruto’s yellow hair and rubbed his head into his clothed groin.

Sasuke forced himself to watch. What was Naruto thinking and feeling at the moment? Probably wishing that Kakuzu was already naked and he had his cock in his mouth. Sasuke had to stop pretending Naruto was something that he wasn’t. The man was nothing but a good hustler, who’d chosen sex as the easiest and most enjoyable way to make money.

Hidan remained with Deidara behind Naruto, caressing his hands over Naruto’s raised buttocks, before beginning to lightly spank him.

‘Hidan, here! We have a plan,’ Kakuzu barked.

‘I’m not going to let Deidara be the first one to see this man’s naked ass! This is the finest thing we’ve had come our way in years.’

‘And why shouldn’t I be the first one?’ Deidara protested. ‘I’m the only one left who appreciates beauty. Truly, you make me grieve for Sasori, something no one should ever be lowered to!’

Hidan gripped Deidara’s chain and pulled it so that Deidara’s head crashed down into his shoulder. ‘That is why you don’t get to see this perfect specimen naked first. Though, keep whining as I get more pleasure hurting you, when you’ve given me a reason to be annoyed.’ 

Hidan dropped the chain again as if it was of no importance and reached around the front of Naruto to… undo Naruto’s belt? To fondle him? Sasuke licked his lips. If this was happening, and it was happening he should order them to turn sideways so he could see clearly what was going on. That’s what he needed to do. He’d organised this, he was paying for it, what was the point if he didn’t get the full benefit of seeing the desperate whore getting his hole filled again and again for money? This idiotic man who’d duped Sasuke so well, that he’d never spread for his regular client, working it so well that they’d spent evenings not going near the bedroom, but cuddling on the sofa while Naruto insisted on ‘educating’ Sasuke by forcing him to watch ‘classic’ films. Films which Sasuke didn’t watch, instead gazing at Naruto as he said his favourite lines of dialogue in awful imitations of the actor’s accent, and laughed at cheesy jokes before they were uttered, and smiled up at Sasuke and thanked him with such a genuine happy look in his eyes for giving him the best date ever when they’d done nothing but sit in front of the telly.

‘Stop! I’ve changed my mind. Leave Na…Nicky alone.’ Sasuke’s breath came in short pants like a child after a tantrum.

The three men stared at him. They didn’t continue with what they were doing, but nor did they move away from Naruto. Naruto remained where he was, both Hidan and Kakuzu’s hands still on his body.

‘The money is yours. You’ve been professional and done everything I asked. Nicky and I are leaving now.’ Sasuke cursed the last sentence before he’d even finished saying it. His voice had remained cool, but with men like these it gave a hint of asking permission, and a hint was all they needed. He should’ve been confident enough to walk forward and claim Naruto off them without a word. And he would’ve been if only he was certain that Naruto would come with him, but would the idiot pay him back for putting him in this horrendous situation by refusing to move and forcing himself to go through with it?

Hidan stood up to his full height, he patted Naruto’s rump but kept his eyes on Sasuke. ‘We haven’t done what you asked yet, and this is one deal I intend to fulfil.’

Kakuzu walked away from Naruto and towards the cash. ‘We’ve been paid for nothing, and still have the day left to earn more. Let’s go.’

‘It’s not always about the money.’ Hidan eyed Sasuke up and down. ‘But if it is, what do you think rich boy will pay us not to release the video of us raping him?’

Sasuke heard Hidan’s words, knew he should be more alert to the threat to himself, but he found it difficult to look away from Naruto. The yellow-head wasn’t moving, Sasuke had given him permission to leave, called an end to it, why wasn’t he taking the opportunity? Kakuzu had a tight hold on Naruto’s hair, could Naruto not pull away? Perhaps if they were turning their attention to him, that would give Naruto the opportunity he needed to get far away.

‘Hnnnnn, as if I’d let any of you touch my body,’ Sasuke smirked, looking at the three men with disdain. He knew men like this, because he was a man like this, if they felt they weren’t being respected, feared, it provoked them more than anything else.

Deidara stared at Sasuke with renewed interest. ‘That white skin would look so beautiful covered in bruises. I could make a stunning pattern on him.’

Kakuzu also surveyed Sasuke. He spoke in a voice that was even flatter in tone than Sasuke’s. ‘Hidan, you’re right for once. His position rests on the illusion of his unassailable power. I’m sure he’d pay well for no one to know what we are about to do to him.’ Kakuzu threw a phone to Deidara. ‘Make sure you capture it when he starts crying.’

Deidara made a noise of annoyance. ‘Just because I’m the artist doesn’t mean I have to be the one doing the videoing. I can do…’

Whatever Deidara could do was lost forever, as he smashed down into the floor. For a moment, Sasuke thought it was Hidan punishing him again, but he saw it was Naruto. He didn’t know how the whore had taken Deidara down, but he watched breathless as Naruto almost simultaneously headbutted Kakuzu and kicked his leg backwards into Hidan’s jaw, all while keeping incredible balance from the higher ground, but not exactly firm terrain, of the bed.

Sasuke knew how ridiculous it was, his timing was potentially disastrous, but it couldn’t be helped. He had felt so much for Naruto since their first meeting, but he had never experienced such sweet, overwhelming desire, as he did now watching Naruto so effortlessly fight these three men. His emotions were heightened by the incredible relief of knowing that Naruto was okay, he wasn’t going to remain crouched on all fours on the bed too shocked or too angry to move.

Hidan and Kakuzu did not fall as easily as Deidara though, and Deidara was getting back onto his feet. But Naruto didn’t stop in his flow, he was so fast, so fluid, that the room seemed full of Narutos, kicking, punching and dodging without breaking sweat. The three men appeared clumsy and uncoordinated in contrast.

But Sasuke knew they weren’t, they were strong, ruthless, and brutal. Which is why he’d selected them. Which is why he should have moved continents rather than let them anywhere near the man he loved. The battle was three against one, Sasuke needed to even the odds. He’d kept up his training, however it was a long time since he’d had a fight that meant anything. He took a deep breath. Then he imagined what they’d do to Naruto if they won.

He lunged at Deidara with a savagery that surprised even him, getting multiple kidney punches in, though the first one had already left Deidara doubled over and gasping. Sasuke saw that Naruto had created a space and had knocked both Hidan and Kakuzu down. Without waiting to see if they’d get up again, Sasuke grabbed Naruto’s hand and ran.

They were outside the room, dashing forward, breathing fresh air, but Naruto dragged against him.

‘I didn’t see your car? You taxied? Here take Toady. I need to go back.’ He pressed a huge bundle of keys outnumbered by a weight of keyrings into Sasuke’s hand.

‘You can’t…leave them…I can sort out any fallout later…it’s too dangerous now.’

Naruto had turned on his heel already dashing back to the room they’d just escaped. ‘Quick, bastard. Go warm Toady up, he takes time to get going, I’ll be back in a minute.’

 Sasuke’s body obeyed Naruto, though his heart wanted to follow him. He saw Naruto’s heap of scrapmetal straight away and began trying keys in the door. His hands were shaking. He constantly looked over his shoulder hoping the yellow-head would appear.

No, this wasn’t him. He never panicked. What was the point of caring for someone if it turned you into a nervous wreck, who wasn’t even capable of opening a car door? Sasuke examined the keys properly, he rapidly sorted out the keyrings, 3BFF ones, a ragged teddy Eeyore, several cheap plastic ones of the type given away free when you donated to charity, a smiley blood drop advertising being a donor, an elegant silver leaf, and a homemade wooden heart tied on by red ribbon with ‘S & N 4ever’ carved on it. The last one made Sasuke pause, before he remembered Naruto called his fiancé Sakura.

None of that mattered now. Time was passing while he was staring at Naruto’s keyrings. He studied the assortment of keys and chose the oldest most worn one. It fitted, though felt like it would break off in the lock. Sasuke turned it carefully and then he sat down in Naruto’s car. For a moment he forgot everything in the intimacy of being inside Naruto’s space. It smelt of ramen, sweets, and that deep unique animal scent that was the man himself. Sasuke took a deep breath and then looked around him. He had never driven a car so old. How did it work? Obviously, there were no electronics and simply labelled buttons to press. He reached over and clicked open the lock on the passenger door, put the key in the ignition and started turning the engine over. The car, roared and stuttered.  Sasuke kept trying, kept twisting around waiting for Naruto to appear.

Then the yellow-head came running across the road from totally the opposite direction of the room, he was covered in shards of glass, his clothes were ripped, there were red marks staining his white shirt, but he was clinging onto the tomato plant as if it was the only thing that mattered.

Naruto leapt into the driver’s side, pushing Sasuke over to the passenger seat, and talking the whole time as if they were mid-conversation, rather than escaping from murderous men. ‘One of them is out of action, I left him occupied chasing down all the money I threw to the wind. Which is really cool as it was like he was wearing armour, but he wasn’t wearing armour, maybe he’s got no heart, because I kept getting in some really amazing chest hits, which are really hard to land by the way so be totally impressed, but absolutely no reaction! Anyway, he’s out, but like the other one is really persistent, raving on about how his god loves blood or some sort of craziness, and during the chase he’s picked up some sort of weird garden thing…I can’t remember what it’s called…oh there he is, what’s that thing called he’s waving about?’

Sasuke looked up to where Hidan was running from the same direction as Naruto had just come from. If he was the type to get scared by mad homicidal maniacs, he’d be terrified by the expression on Hidan’s face.

‘Scythe,’ Sasuke answered.

‘I knew you’d know, because you’ve got the smarts. But I mean, do even you know why someone has one of those hanging around? What’s that about? Trying to pretend you’re Death or something? Or cutting grass really slowly? They are used for cutting grass, right? But, really, I mean, get yourself a normal weapon like a machete or something, don’t act like you’re some special serial killer with a trademark, freaky way of killing people.’ As he chatted on, Naruto placed the plant pot between his thighs, seeming unbothered about the foliage obstructing his vision and ran his hands lovingly over the steering wheel.

‘Naruto, you may want to start driving before we discover what Hidan means to do with the scythe. Personally, I don’t think it involves mowing grass.’

‘I told you Toady needs to warm up. You can’t just expect him to leap into action because of our fuck-ups.’ Naruto tutted his tongue and shook his head. ‘Look the wannabe-freaky-criminal-of-the-week’s stopped running now, he’s walking because he thinks that makes him look cooler and meaner. Don’t you just hate posers?’ Naruto grinned over at Sasuke. ‘Well, I guess not as you are one.’

‘I’m not! Caring about your appearance and not thinking bright orange is a suitable colour for every item of clothing does not make someone a poser!’ Sasuke pinched his nose. Why was he rising to this stupidity when he was on the verge of being hacked to death? ‘Have you considered that Hidan is walking slower because we are not moving and he doesn’t have to make any effort to catch us, and therefore he believes he can preserve all his energy for killing us?’

 ‘Yeah, could be that, good point. I guess the scythe thing is just narking me, but, yaknow, maybe I should give him credit for spotting it and picking it up, whereas I just ran straight on and didn’t bother even thinking about a weapon?’

‘Yes. There is that.’ Sasuke watched as Hidan paused in front of the car, visibly choosing between which of them to go for first. ‘Out of interest, two things, is Toady warmed up yet, and do you have any idea where the third man, Deidara is?’

‘Oh yep, now that guy had it sorted with a good old traditional weapon, he’d come prepared and had his own gun.’

‘Gun?’ Sasuke’s eyes widened.

‘Yeah, he could have totally killed me, but he started giving me this weird speech about art, and I told him I liked paintings of naked men swimming in the sea, you obviously know what I’m talking about but I didn’t get specific as yaknow, they’re your private pictures in your private bedroom, and anyway, he got all outraged about my lack of artistic appreciataion and going on about explosions or something, abd I got some sweet moves in and broke his arm. Oh, coincidence, you shouldn’t have jinxed it by mentioning him, baby, look here he is now.’ Naruto pointed to the rearview mirror where Deidara could be seen walking towards them with a gun held up. ‘I guess he’s ambidextrous, I should have broken both his arms, but I don’t like to overdo it and do any unnecessary hurt beyond strict self-defence. You know what I mean?’

Sasuke shook his head. Though he breathed a sigh of relief when Hidan finally stalked around to his side of the car, he had no idea what was going through Naruto’s brain, but at some point, basic survival had to kick in and his beautiful escort would get away and live a happy life with his pink haired fiancé and produce lots of kids with hair in rainbow colours.

‘Great, Toady’s ready.’ Naruto turned the key in the ignition.

A deafening bang. Sasuke dived towards Naruto, his only thought to shield the other man from damage.

‘What you doing, sweetie? So now you want a hug, when I’m trying to do amazing getaway from psychos driving, but when I want to kiss you in front of your big tough friends, you’re too good for me and jump away as if I’m dripping in plague boils. That reminds me, I think I’ve got some boiled sweets around here somewhere, you want one? I might have bubblegum flavour.’ He left one hand on the steering wheel, somehow keeping a perfect hold on the plant between his thighs, and twisted his body around to start rummaging about on his back seat. Despite his words, he didn’t seem to mind that Sasuke had both arms around him and was clinging to him.

Only when Naruto faced back towards the road, did Sasuke recover himself to let go of the other man and sit upright on the passenger side. The noise had come from the car. Not Deidara’s gun. No one had been shot. Naruto was fine. _Naruto was fine._ Naruto now had no hands on the steering wheel and was picking fluff off two half sucked sweets.

‘The pink one has less hair, hardly any hair at all in fact, do you want that one?’

Sasuke shook his head.

‘Suit yourself.’ Naruto chucked both into his own mouth and crunched down on them. Then he put both hands back on the wheel, tapping his fingers to some made up rhythm of his own.

Sasuke reached for a seatbelt. There wasn’t one. But it was then that he noticed the scythe sticking through the window, its point only inches from his head.

‘That thing is sharper than it looked, I feel an idiot for like dissing it so much now. Do you wanna throw it out as it’s a bit distracting, or do you think if you do that the whole window will shatter and we’ll be in a mess? I don’t want you to get cold from all the wind rushing in.’ Naruto caressed his hands over the wheel and spoke in a gentle voice. ‘Poor Toady, you were so brave, sorry I put you in such danger, but I’ll mend you up and make you better than before. I just need to save up a bit of cash, you understand, old friend?’

Carefully Sasuke dislodged the blade and it dropped off leaving it discarded on the fortunately empty road. The window didn’t shatter, there was just now a big hole which Naruto looked at with mournful eyes.

Sasuke licked his lips. Naruto had apologised to his car. Sasuke had no idea how to apologise to Naruto.

‘I’ll of course cover any damage.’

Naruto shrugged. ‘It wasn’t your fault, sometimes you think you’re going to have a kinky fun night and things just go wrong. I kinda wished you’d given me some warning, I could have chosen better guys, yaknow, still dangerous looking, but not actually dangerous. But I get that the surprise element was important to you, next time, maybe you could contact Granny and let her know, and she might tell me, but she also might organise it without telling me. That might be a better chance to take, than whether the gang-bangers are going to rape and kill you, or not.’

Sasuke leaned his head back in the seat. His stomach twisted at how casually Naruto said ‘rape.’

‘It’s more my fault than yours really. All the time we’ve spent together and I never once got any hint that you were into the voyeur thing of watching me being fucked. I actually thought the opposite, that you _hated_ the idea of me being with other guys, but tolerated it because you knew it was my job and…you liked me so much.’ Naruto laughed and fumbled around his backseat again but didn’t find any more sweets. ‘I’m supposed to be good at working out what people want, and I normally am, but everything is so topsy-turvy with you. But, yaknow, as soon as I clocked those three I knew, not a single doubt, it was trouble. I should’ve backed out immediately and taken you with me. I don’t know why I didn’t. I guess because it’s been so long since we’ve actually seen each other and it’s made me really jumpy. I didn’t want to do anything wrong. I really wanted to impress you today, yaknow, make it clear that if you were like embarrassed and regretted the offer you made me before you left, it didn’t matter. I get that and I have no intention of trying to hold you to it. I just miss seeing you and being your friend.’

Sasuke stared out of the cracked window. He’d planned all this, thought about it, wanted it, but in the moments of danger all he’d cared about was Naruto being safe. What type of man was he?

‘I am not a good friend for anyone, least of all you,’ Sasuke said.

Naruto chuckled. ‘Well, seeing the friends I’ve met of yours today, and what you did to Suigetsu, I can’t argue with you, but that’s why you need me as your best friend even more.’

‘What about Suigetsu? What did he say to you?’ Sasuke’s emotions were too confused to cover the worry in his voice, although there was no logical reason to be worried, all he’d done had been consensual, he was single, it wasn’t as if he was the one secretly engaged to someone. But still his mind whirled about all the times he’d sent Suigetsu off to chase down Naruto, how well had they got to know each other, he had inadvertently created a relationship between them when in truth, if he could start again, he wouldn’t want Naruto to even know that Suigetsu existed.

‘He said nothing, but he didn’t have to. The way he says your name, the look in his eyes, it’s all changed, and that matched with the fact his ass had been used so hard he wasn’t walking normal for ages. I used to watch all the kids with their happy families on the street or whatever and wish and wish that I could be them. That was like desperate unhappiness, but wow, it was nothing to seeing that you’d fucked Suigetsu for the first time, but didn’t want me.’ Naruto laughed. ‘Those were some seriously shitty feelings. But like Suigetsu probably didn’t feel much better being sent off like a good lapdog to rebook me. You are such a bastard! And, yaknow, I realised I didn’t care so much about my professional pride, or bruised heart; I cared about seeing you again. I know what’s important to me, just you in all your flawed, cruel, arrogant glory.’

Sasuke spoke softly. ‘We didn’t actually fuck. It was just an oversized dildo, a blow job, bondage and pain. Things I wouldn’t want to do with you.’

Naruto laughed louder, his mouth opening wide, his eyes sparkling. ‘Is that supposed to be you comforting me, or twisting the knife in at my inadequacies as your whore to meet your desires?’

Sasuke frowned. ‘I wanted you to know that it wasn’t my first time with Suigetsu. It wasn’t as if I was desperate to take a new lover. I didn’t swap him in for you as if you were interchangeable.’

‘Except it was your first time with Suigetsu, doesn’t matter if you put your cock in his mouth or ass, if you haven’t done it before, it’s a first time. And you did choose to have sex with him when I was available, right?’ Naruto stroked a hand over the leaves of the plant. ‘It’s okay, you don’t have to explain anything to me. I’m hardly some virgin teen you’re pretending to love to get into your bed.’

The more casual Naruto’s voice was, the worse Sasuke felt. And then part of his brain was kicking back, telling him he had absolutely nothing to feel guilty for. Which was followed by a loud mental scream that he had just almost got the hooker shot.

‘But anyway, yaknow, let’s talk about other stuff. Tell me what you’ve been up to. It’s been soooo long. Can we like ignore me getting all stalky and camping outside your door?’

‘I liked you being there,’ Sasuke said. The words sounded true when he spoke them, but it was his feelings of warmth for the hooker then that had set in motion the idea that he’d needed today; to see Naruto being violently fucked for money to cure his love for the hooker.

Naruto beamed, that smile that lit up his whole face as if he was glowing. ‘Thank you for leaving the cereal out for me. And the blanket and everything. Did you notice I even ate the salad for you?’ Naruto winked.

‘I did notice.’ Sasuke swallowed. He listened as Naruto chatted on about food, ranking ramen to tomatoes in order of tastiness. How close had that voice come to being permanently silenced because of Sasuke’s obsession?

When Naruto stopped addressing Sasuke and started cooing at the plant in case it was hurt by the whore’s dislike of its fruit, Sasuke finally cut him off.

‘How are you just ignoring what almost happened?’

‘Exactly, babes, _almost_ , we’re both okay, Toady’s mostly okay, and Sasukeplant didn’t even lose a leaf.’

‘You ran back into a room of madmen, madmen with guns, to save a plant, you do realise how insane that is don’t you?’

‘Probably not, because I’d do it again. I told you this plant is the first thing I’ve ever managed to grow, and I grew him for you.’ Naruto gave Sasuke a look that implied the jump from growing a plant for someone and dying to save it was natural and Sasuke was the insane one for even questioning it.

The yellow-head continued in a voice of a kindergarten teacher talking to a particularly dense kid. ‘Plus, only one had a gun, and he was a mad madman so he didn’t even shoot me.’ He patted Sasuke’s knee and his voice became a little shyer. ‘Please, um, don’t let the mess of today, put you off, yaknow, wanting to watch me get fucked, now you’ve shared with me that that’s your thing, I really want to make that happen with you. Maybe if the surprise element isn’t an essential part of the whole turn on thing for you, we could choose some guys together, at least for the first time? Can I ask whether you ever will…yaknow, be one of the guys, or, maybe if it makes you hot…fuck me afterwards…or will you always just be the voyeur?’

Sasuke had no idea what his expression was doing, but it made Naruto blush a deep red and, a rarity in this journey, he actually looked ahead and paid attention to the road. Sasuke also stared forward and recognised that Naruto was driving to his country house. Sasuke recalled, what seemed so long ago now, one of his ideas had been to have sex with Naruto for the first time at the place they’d first met. Was that still a possibility after everything that had happened, after everything he now knew? The stirring of his cock declared it to be a definite ‘yes’. Maybe the answer to his emotional problems was to just have one night, two nights, a long weekend, of romance and sensuality with the man and then let him go for ever. If he’d ignored his objections to paying for sex he could have fucked Naruto that first night and they wouldn’t be here now. Which would be a good thing, wouldn’t it?

Sasuke gazed down to where he was acutely aware, Naruto had left his hand resting on his knee. ‘You were incredibly hot fighting. I was worried what was going on with you and then…’

‘Wham! Bam! Thank you, Ma’am! I _was_ pretty amazing, wasn’t I? At the start I had no idea if it was all some kinky role-playing stuff you were into, yaknow, like I said I was desperate to impress you and ignored all my instincts. But when they threatened to hurt you, hell, I didn’t care anymore, I just waited for the right moment. It was strange, the demon in me was angrier than it’d ever been, those skidmarks thinking they could talk to you like that in front of me! But I could control it, use my rage, rather than be overtaken by it. Do you know what I mean? Because you were pretty sexy yourself taking out the art guy. The way you went for him, I was thinking _My man’s got game_ , but then I had to, yaknow, not get a hard-on, but stop the other two from trying to brain me. We should so definitely spar someday…soon…if you’d like? Maybe when I am not covered in glass though.’ He laughed a happy deep sound. ‘I don’t want you making excuses that you’ve lost because you can’t hit me because of my magic shard armour or something!’

Sasuke forced himself to look properly at the other man, the things he’d only briefly registered when Naruto first reappeared, the glass pieces were in his hair and over his whole body, and the red stains, had they grown while they had been travelling?

The car jerked to a stop and Sasuke for a moment thought that it had broken down before he saw he was home, Naruto had stopped outside his gates.

‘We should continue to the city. I can drive. In one of my cars. I’ll take you to a doctor I trust.’

‘Uh-uh, I did the whole dentist thing for you and Shizune was nice, but Granny is the only medic I let poke around my body.’

Sasuke’s brow creased up. Now probably wasn’t the time to start asking too many questions about ‘Granny’s’ official medical training. He could ask subtlety on the way and just take Naruto to his own doctor anyway. ‘Okay. I’ll drive you to her then.’

Naruto smiled as widely as it was possible for anyone to smile. ‘You want to meet my family? I’ve felt so screwed up inside not knowing how things stand with us, but today has been awesome! I’ve learned that the only reason you haven’t had sex with me yet is because behind all your arrogant rah rah rah, I’m rich, I’m good looking, I’m better than you…you were really shy and weren’t sure if I would be into your secret desires. No one’s ever thought of me like that before, they think I am an escort so I’ll do anything they tell me to, but you’ve been holding back all this time because…you respect me.’ There were tears of joy in those bright blue eyes. ‘And now you’re stepping up and want to get to know Granny as she’s part of my life, and you’re a part of my life, oh, this is so perfect, Sasuke.’ He rested his head on Sasuke’s shoulder. ‘Just, yaknow, don’t shut me out again, you shouldn’t have been shy of me. Sorry, if it ever seemed like I was pushing you too hard to have sex with me, you didn’t have to go silent on me though, you should know I’m happy to fulfil your desires even if they never involve you, yaknow, having traditional sex with me.’

Sasuke closed his eyes and breathed in the scent of this man, his car, and his tomato plant. Even knowing it wasn’t real, that Naruto was acting a part, didn’t stop it _feeling_ real.

Naruto suddenly jerked away. ‘Oh fuck, sorry, I am a dumbass. I don’t want to get glass on you. You stay here, I’m fine, me and Toady will drive to Granny, and we can make up the time that we’ve missed today when I’m just a normal mess, not an extra mess. I want it to be great when you meet Granny, not her in a bad mood because she’s worried about what I’ve been up to… to end up looking like this. It means so much you want to meet her and that is enough for today. Would you like to take Sasukeplant for just a bit though, seeing I’ve brought him all this way for you and he’s been through so much? I know you said you’re not a gardener, but he is truly yours.’  The plant was placed reverentially on his lap while Naruto was still talking.

Sasuke looked down at his glittery name on the pot, he could imagine how much time and care it must have taken the man who couldn’t plan out how to write banners to decorate it. He gazed at the other man, and with a deep sigh he knew what he had to do for his own sanity. He carefully cupped Naruto’s chin in his hand.

‘I love you and I will look after you. I don’t need you to love me back. But I need to know who it is that I’ve fallen in love with. You saw into my soul and gave me what my heart wanted, even though it was buried too deep for me to even recognise it. You have my lifelong devotion for that. You’ve won the game, you’ve got me. But please now pity your prisoner and be honest. I already know about your lies, it won’t shock me, I just want to hear you say it.’

Naruto bit his lip, his shoulders sagged. ‘How did you find out?’

‘I saw you.’

‘Oh. When?’ His eyes were downcast. ‘Which one?’

Sasuke’s heart raced, how many fiancés were there, but he kept his voice calm. ‘I don’t want to drag this out, especially as I want you to get medical care asap, but I want, and need the air to be cleared between us. Please, just say it.’

Naruto audibly swallowed a couple of times. ‘I didn’t mention it because I didn’t want to make you feel extra pressured about what I wanted from you. I tried to hint at it a few times and tried really hard to tell you but I couldn’t quite, and I know I deliberately misled you and let you think something that wasn’t true.’

Sasuke recalled Naruto’s lack of obvious attraction to him, never checking him out, never being erect, being relieved they didn’t have sex, and then playing clever verbal tricks like he had just a moment ago, apologising for coming on strong.

‘I do try to be an honest person, you see that in me, right? Just sometimes it doesn’t match with the things I’ve had to do to get by and help those I love.’

Sasuke nodded. Then waited. Naruto stared down at his own hands, and then reached across and started caressing the leaves of the plant that Sasuke now held. And waited. Naruto started picking at the crystals of glass on his clothes and opened the car door to throw them out.

The man looked so wretched, and Sasuke’s patience had limits. Severe limits.

‘Naruto, I know you’re heterosexual. That you only use men for their money.’

Naruto’s head snapped around and he stared at him, open mouthed and brow creased. ‘Come again?’

Sasuke gritted his teeth. Why couldn’t he make this simple, Sasuke was giving him everything, offering him everything, why was the whore still humiliating him?

‘I saw you proposing to your fiancé.’

Naruto continued to look incredibly confused.

‘You called her Sakura, is that familiar to you? Or is it so common for you to propose to a woman that you can’t remember any of their names?’

To Sasuke’s surprise Naruto laughed. ‘You were there then? I was sure you were there! I really felt your presence, but like I said in my text…did you read my text…I kinda think of you so much, that I’m always thinking I see you…but that time was different. I’m so happy I’m not going totally crazy. Or not that crazy anyway. Why didn’t you come in and say hello to me? I’d have been so happy to know you were back, I was missing you so much and…’

‘You were proposing to a woman, you fucking idiot! Her parents were even there. What was I supposed to do come and celebrate with you? Congratulate her for pinning you down, when I’ve got nothing from you? Ask her permission to take you away for a week, because I’ve spent so much time planning something romantic for our first time together? Or maybe just enquire what she’s planning to do with all the money I’ve been paying you!’

‘Sasuke! Calm down, you can’t think it was real?’

‘Don’t try that! I know you weren’t working that night.’ Sasuke recalled waking up in the night with the sudden hope that it was all part of some elaborate thing that Naruto had been hired for, a lonely spinster wanting to live out the dream that a hot guy loves her enough to marry her. Suigetsu had taken less than an hour to come back with a 100% confirmation that the escort had not been escorting when Sasuke saw him.

‘No, I wasn’t working, but…’

‘But what? Don’t give me ‘buts’, give me the truth. Are you capable of that?’

‘Yes, yes I am. For you. Normally, I’d never break a client’s confidence…’

‘Stop, just stop, we’ve already established she wasn’t a client.’ Sasuke wished dearly he hadn’t started this conversation, but now he had, his emotions were in a turmoil he had no control over.

‘Let me explain. I wasn’t working that night, but it’d started a while ago. She was with a group of girls, yaknow, sometimes they like to crash gay bars for fun, and why not, lots of hot guys who won’t try and take advantage of them? I was there, filling in for a friend dancing, and one man in particular was getting pushy, but I was trying to stay professional and not cause problems for the bar owner who’s my friend. Anyway, she just came along, punched him out of the way and proper punched him, he went flying! She said she wanted to talk to me, I said she was the type of woman I could seriously fall for, and…’

Sasuke put a hand to his forehead. ‘Skip to the relevant part where you end up proposing to her in front of a group of strangers using words that I thought were private and intimate between the two of us.’

Naruto’s face transformed from confusion to genuine repentance. ‘Oh, fuck, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I understand now. I am so, so sorry…’

‘Yes, I get the idea, you apologise now that you know I know. Just hurry up and tell your story.’

The whore took the instruction literally and started to speak in a rushed voice. ‘Sakura told me she’d been looking for a man for a while, and that when she saw me she knew I was perfect.’ Naruto got his phone out and started scrolling through photos.

Sasuke’s chest ached. The thing he’d done today, the fact that he’d been the one to start this conversation when Naruto should be with a doctor, meant that he deserved a lot worse than seeing loved up pictures of Naruto and his fiancé, but still the prospect hurt.

Naruto held his phone up, it was a photo of the man in the green jumpsuit Naruto had previously shown him as his sparring partner and the pink haired woman with their arms entwined gazing at each other with visible adoration. Naruto flicked through a few more of the couple together as he spoke.

‘Sakura comes from a rich family, not you-rich, just average-rich, she’s an only child and her parents are proud of her training to be a surgeon, but they’ve also been hoping for her to find a nice boyfriend with a nice profession as they want to have nice grandchildren. And she has found one of the nicest guys possible. He’s a porter at the hospital she worked at, and was devoted to her from the start, he always brought in meals for her when she had late shifts, and was a complete gentleman, kind, caring, telling her his feelings, but never pushing them, never making her feel uncomfortable.’

Looking at the photos of the loved-up pair, Sasuke no longer had the conviction to order Naruto to keep to the point.

‘Sakura didn’t even consider him until he was in this really bad accident, a totally freak thing, a lorry driver fell asleep at the wheel, Centipede Eyebrows pushed a kid out of the way, but ended up being crushed by the lorry’s load, a ton of sand. It was a miracle he survived, he was never supposed to walk again, but even though he wasn’t officially her patient, Sakura started spending lots of time with him and she fell in love with his bravery and his positive spirit and he, well, he was already in love with her. But, she was scared to tell her parents as she knew they wouldn’t approve and it would hurt his feelings as he’s quite sensitive, although it hurt his feelings that she didn’t want to tell them, but that’s a different thing.’

Naruto took a deep breath and looked at Sasuke. His eyes were still sad and guilty, though his voice was more or less normal, just faster than usual. ‘There was also the matter that they might be angry enough to cut off her funding as they were still supporting her as she was still training. So, she had the solution that she’d have a fake boyfriend that was worse than Centipede Eyebrows, so that when she revealed who she was really in love with, her parents would be relieved, not disappointed. That’s where I come in. She just thought I was a gogo dancer, she was overjoyed to find I was actually an escort. She introduced me to her parents and told me just to be myself, the only pretence being that we were in love. Like we told how and where we met, but I just had to be really crass and pretend that I’d taken her back to my tiny shared place and we’d gone at it like rabbits all night. It was, yaknow, easy money, when I was…when I was falling for you and not enjoying being with other men like I used to. But, I wasn’t so good at it, her parents went from being shocked and outraged with me, to asking Sakura why she’d come without me when she visited on her own. She said it was because they could see there was no chemistry between us, so we tried doing really loud fake sex at their house, taking turns to jump up and down on the mattress and yelling out really obscene stuff, but, yaknow, the next morning they were saying that they thought I was smart and should enroll in community college.’

Naruto ran his fingers over Sasuke’s. ‘This is where it kinda became my plan. I’d got to know Sakura’s boyfriend, like I told you, he’s my favourite sparring partner.’ Naruto showed Sasuke the photo he’d already seen of the two of them exhausted together. ‘And I felt bad making them pay my high rates when I wasn’t doing a good job and I know they had this dream of moving into a nice place together and opening up a dojo and having a ton of really strong fighty kids. So, I started doing the dates free when I had time, and then I thought if we upped the ante and I proposed that her parents might not be so relaxed about the idea of their beloved daughter not just indulging her wild side for a few months, but actually marrying a male whore. And that’s what you saw. And I was so nervous because it was my plan, and I knew despite all her complaining about their old-fashioned ideals, Sakura loved her parents and wanted them to love the man she loved. And I realised I had no idea how to make it convincing that I really did love her. So, I was delaying just chatting to the waiter, when suddenly I felt that you were there. That was like the moment I knew what to do. I imagined she was you, what I’d say if you ever allowed me to declare how I felt for you in public, even though I know you never will…and…and I don’t know what else to say.’

He slumped forward. ‘I shouldn’t have used those words. Sakura and Rock Lee are really good friends to me and I wanted to do the best for them, but you…you are something I’ve never experienced before in my life. I didn’t even think I was cheapening what we had, I just really imagined I was speaking to you, I even called her Sasuke later in the evening, but luckily everyone had drunk lots of champagne and didn’t notice.’

‘How did it turn out for your friends?’ Sasuke’s mouth, throat, whole body felt dry and dehydrated.

‘Good.’ Naruto perked up slightly. ‘I don’t know if you saw, but the restaurant I proposed in burned down a couple of days later in like some random arson attack, and Sakura used that as an excuse to go crying to her mother, and pretending she was worried that it was a bad omen, and she hadn’t wanted to break my heart because I was a good man, but the proposal had made her realise that she really only felt friendship for me, and that she’d accidentally fallen in love with someone else. Her mother had to hide being really happy, and Sakura had to hide being happy that her mum was happy for a while, but everything is brilliant now.’ Naruto squeezed Sasuke’s hand. ‘Even though it was not close to being the same, I’ve been inspired by their love, a rich person with a poorer person, that it can be real and work. But I know what _we_ have is so delicate and difficult and I hate that I’ve done something to hurt you.’

Sasuke licked his lips. He wasn’t able to do more than glance sideways at Naruto. ‘What have you been lying to me about, if it isn’t being heterosexual?’

Naruto gave a half smile. ‘It doesn’t seem so big now. I’ve stopped escorting. I couldn’t carry on doing it. I planned to go into fighting but you didn’t seem to approve, so I am just working as many jobs as I can hold down, my schedule is busier and not on my terms, it was a battle even to get the time off to meet you today, and I’m not managing to earn what I used to in a night. I wanted to be upfront and tell you, but I wasn’t sure how to, without it sounding too much like…yaknow…I was demanding something from you. Which I’m not. It was my individual decision to stop, just like it was my decision to start. You don’t have to feel responsible for me or any crap like that. Plus, I kinda wondered if you liked the fact that you paid for my time as it made you feel in control when I can see all the emotions scare you like they scare me. And, I’m a little bit ashamed, as I know it’s not fair, as Granny is struggling and pushing everyone else harder, but I just couldn’t do it anymore. I told her you were my only exception. So, she was almost as excited as me when you finally got in touch!’

Sasuke couldn’t absorb that right now, he’d think about it later, he needed to ask one last question, just to be sure. ‘If you are attracted to me, why have you never been obviously turned on by me?’

Naruto raised his eyebrows. ‘Are you joking? On the beach you made me come so fucking hard, I’ve been wanking off to that memory since!’ Then he twisted his mouth. ‘Maybe, it’s like I have had to try so hard, yaknow, from the very moment I first met you, not to jump your bones and be an over-eager, sex-starved horndog, that I go too far the other way? Your arrogance and ego helps soooo much, it gives me something to compete against, I want you to give in first and beg for my ass before I beg for your cock, and when we were kissing, knowing your apartment has a ghost was a big help too and really stopped me wanting more. But the things I have to think of when I’m around you, to stop myself twerking you 24/7, they’re awful, drowning, mewing, starving kittens awful!’ 

They sat in silence for a moment, then Sasuke laughed with absolute relief. He’d been so miserable, so broken, and for no reason. Naruto was his.

‘Okay, enough, I’m driving you to get patched up and we can sort out the details of everything after.’ He got out of the car.

Naruto smiled and moved to open his car door, but then he froze.

Sasuke peered back into the vehicle. ‘Are you all right, do you need support, let me put this plant down.’ He placed the tomato by the gate and ran around to Naruto’s side of the car and opened the door.

The blonde remained rigid, his voice uncharacteristically cold when he spoke. ‘A bad thought has just come to me.’

‘Drowning, mewing, starving kittens bad?’ Sasuke asked, hunching down so he could see into Naruto’s lowered face.

‘Yes. Yes, it is. Sasuke, the thought is that you were angry with me, you thought I’d been hustling you for more money, you were in pain and believed my feelings for you were a hooker’s trick, you didn’t want to see me again…and then you did. The thought is that you don’t really get turned on by the idea of seeing me fucked, that’s not your thing at all, the thing at the motel wasn’t about revealing your secret inner desires and becoming closer to me, it was about you wanting to see me fucked by the worst people you could find purely to humiliate and punish me. The thought is that you used sex as a weapon to hurt me.’

Sasuke stepped back as if he’d been struck. But there was no fire in Naruto’s voice, body language or expression, he was cold, distant and more like Sasuke than himself.

‘Naruto…’

The car door closed.

‘Naruto, please.’

The car started with its first turn of the engine and drove off.

‘Naruto,’ Sasuke said to the empty road.

He walked to his gate, his feet dragging against the ground, picked up the tomato plant, opened his gates, and started the seemingly eternal walk up his drive to his front door. All he could think about was the time, which now seemed so long ago, when he’d been waiting for an escort to arrive and watched in disbelief as a scruffy man with yellow hair and orange clothes had climbed over his gate and strolled into his grounds as if it was the one place in the world he truly belonged.

‘Naruto,’ Sasuke whispered.


	13. Chapter 13

There were mornings when Sasuke woke up and his heart was full of gratitude that Naruto hadn’t been hustling him, that the beautiful, bright blue-eyed man felt the same way that he did.

Then there were the more frequent type of morning, where Sasuke jolted up from dozing at his desk, having been unable to sleep in his bed, he’d worked through the night until pure exhaustion knocked him out. And his first thought was how he’d destroyed the one thing that could have given his life purpose and meaning.

This morning he found his head stuck to a piece of thick writing paper, part of a bigger wad. He wanted to rip it up, not to even think about it, but he squared his jaw and forced himself to read through what he’d been composing before sleep eventually clawed him into oblivion.

_Dear Naruto,_

_Do I have the right to call you that, or should I address you as Nicky? I suspect no reply, so I will never know what you’d prefer. In my mind though I cannot stop thinking of you as my dearly beloved Naruto. You are truly the sweetest, most beautiful man that I’ve ever met and I’d do anything to have you back in my life. However, I respect and understand your decision not to contact me again and this letter is the only approach I’ll ever make to you so if you do not respond I will never encroach on your time and space again._

_I hope this is the letter that’ll finally be good enough to send to you. I’ve been writing to you at least daily since we last saw each other, but so far have destroyed every single letter. More than a month has passed, almost two, and I still haven’t discovered the words to adequately explain myself to you. Do you realise it’s been over a year since we first met? A whole year, and we still haven’t had sex! That has never happened to me before. You are truly a unique event in my life. Will you meet up with me and we can talk over in person our relationship? I may not be the most talkative man, but it’ll be simpler to discuss this together rather than me writing you this letter._

_I haven’t forgotten you. I assume you know that I’ve tried to pay money to your agency and it’s all been returned? I expect nothing in exchange for it, not even your forgiveness. All I care about now is your wellbeing. I am not attempting to book another date with you, though if you would like another date on those terms, I’ll be satisfied with that._

_I am not in the habit of writing personal letters, that is a task I’m content to leave to a secretary, and I fear I have not got any better with the practice of writing these unsent epistles to you. But I continue to try because you are so important to me. It was the hurt at losing you when I believed you were in love with a woman that caused all the turmoil rather than the lies. Although your honesty is such a part of you that, of course, my sense of your dishonesty and the fact that I couldn’t trust you is at the centre of the extreme manner which you may feel I reacted to the assumed situation._

Sasuke’s willpower failed him. He held the sheets of drabble in the corner with his thumb and forefinger, knowing that well beyond what he’d managed to read it was all the same feeble, pathetic crap.  Gazing at his perfectly formed handwriting as if it was ripping at his eyeballs, he retrieved a box of matches from his drawer and set it on fire. Dropping it in the bin only when the flames licked at his fingertips.

If only he could obliterate the lines from his memory so easily. People were scared of him, with good reason. And yet, he wrote to the only person whose opinion he cared about as if he was nothing but a cowardly piece of shit unable to face what he’d done.

Sasuke took a scrap bit of paper from a drawer and scrawled across it in biro, pressing so hard that the pen broke through the paper in several places.

_N,_

_I fucked up so badly that I can’t even say sorry to you, because saying sorry just highlights how there is no way I can apologise to you, nothing I can ever do, that balances out the fact you grew a tomato plant for me and in return I put you in a room with rapists and murderers._

_The fact that I did this makes me realise that I don’t just want you, I need you. You make my life better, but incredibly you make me better too. I know I am lacking something inside, some empathy or sensibility other people take for granted, that would mean no normal person would even think about doing what I did. But with you I felt different, whole, like I could be new._

_But to repeat, I fucked up, so you being part of my life is not going to happen. I’ve got to manage on my own, and I don’t know how to do that anymore. Every day hurts worse than the one before._

_To be clear, I am not trying to be ‘all woe is me’, please take pity on me and come back to me, I’ve already written and destroyed dozens of letters that sound like that, when all I am trying to say to you, is you are the best thing that ever happened to me, thank you for the time we had together when I believed in the world in a way I never have before._

_I love you and on my more practical days I can fool myself that loving you has opened my life up to other possibilities, letting other people in, planning a different future for myself, but never getting so emotionally dependent that I think watching the person I adore being screwed by actual psychopaths is a good idea. What the hell was going through my mind?_

_But, no, I can’t fool myself, my heart is too insistent. I love you. You are my One._

_If possible forgive me, remember the beach, forget the motel, stay away from me and please please find someone who treasures you._

_S_

Sasuke reached for the matches to burn this letter too, but a thumping at the door disturbed him. He frowned, he should phone through to Kakashi to see who his guard would let up this early in the morning. He could check the camera. But his feet were already running towards his hall. He knew who hammered on a door like he wanted to ram his fist through it.

Without checking the peephole, he flung the door open and a bloody, bruised Naruto fell into his arms.

Before he could stammer out any words, Naruto had righted himself and marched past Sasuke towards the bedroom.

‘I’ve come to you because I know you don’t care what kind of mess I’m in, but my real friends would make all kinds of fuss if they saw me like this.’ He pulled his phone out of the pocket of his suit jacket. A jacket that Sasuke knew was expensive by the standards of Naruto’s wardrobe, but was ripped apart as if it were cheap rags.

‘I’m going to text Granny and tell her you’ve been pleading and begging so I’ve let you book me for the whole week.’ His fingers left bloody fingerprints on the screen. He made a growl of frustration and tossed the phone to Sasuke. ‘Apparently these phones don’t work when you actually need them to. Stupid fricking thing. You tell Granny what I just said, make it sound like me. I need a shower.’

Sasuke followed after him, still mute, unable to work out how to respond after all these weeks to Naruto suddenly turning up.

‘Far enough, cowboy,’ Naruto said at the bathroom slamming the door behind him.

‘You look like you need help,’ Sasuke said.

‘Not from you,’ Naruto retorted.

Sasuke put his forehead against the wood. He thought he could hear the man undressing. ‘No. Not from me. From someone professional.’

The door was flung open. Sasuke stumbled and this time Naruto caught him. It was different this time though. Painfully intimate.  Naruto was stripped to the waist, Sasuke breathed in the animal scent of him, alongside the metallic tang of his blood. He recognised the marks across the blonde’s chest as coming from a cat o’ nine tails. It was vicious. Something he didn’t tend to use. It did too much damage too quickly, very few would be able to withstand it for any length of time. 

He kept his face impassive as he stepped away, although how he would have longed to stay in Naruto’s arms, but that wasn’t a right he had now, if he’d ever had it.

‘You’ve been hurt,’ he said simply.

Naruto slapped his hand against his forehead. ‘No shit, Sherlock. There’s that genius intellect at work that I admire so much.’ He folded his hands across his chest. He flinched at his own touch but remained stubbornly standing like that. ‘Did I not make it clear? I’m here because I know you won’t give me any hassle. Or ask me any questions. Right? I can trust you that far, can’t I? I heal mega fast, I just need to lie out of sight for a few days, wait for the visible bruises to go. Is that okay with you, Mr Uchiha, Sir?’

The door was slammed in his face again before he could work out how to reply in a way that wouldn’t leave Naruto losing blood without any proper aid.

And also, he couldn’t ignore the selfish urge that he didn’t want Naruto to leave him.

He wiped the phone screen clean on his own shirt. ‘What do you want me to type to your Granny?’

‘Say this exactly.’ Naruto’s voice came from near the sink. Hopefully he was getting some antiseptic cream. Though he needed much more than a tube of Germalene. ‘Given into the Bastard’s pleas to have me to himself, for a week anyway. Don’t worry I’ll make him pay big bucks for the pleasure. Cancel everything else and I’ll square it with them all myself. By big bucks, I mean I’m leaching him for every dollar I can, the small dicked douche doesn’t know what he’s let himself in for.’ There was a low groan of pain, and then Naruto shouted out. ‘Add about three smiling emojis, the really big smiling one and a couple of the laughing so much they’re crying ones too. Got it? And a cute animal one too.’

‘Got it, done it and sent it.’ Sasuke pressed send and put the phone on the side. He paused for a moment wanting to explore further through the man’s contacts and files, but he forced himself to look away.

The shower was running now. Sasuke put his hand on the door handle. ‘May I come in?’

No answer.

Maybe he didn’t hear him over the sound of the water. Maybe he just didn’t want to hear him.

Sasuke wasn’t used to asking for permission, especially not in his own house, but he’d get down on his knees if it meant Naruto would allow him back into his life. But the man had made it clear the only reason he was here was because he didn’t think Sasuke would bother him. He obviously had decided that Sasuke owed him, which was more than fair, a weeks free lodgings when he wanted to heal up and avoid his friends, his _real_ friends, wasn’t even close to what Sasuke truly owed him for what had almost happened in the motel room.

He stood waiting, completely uncertain about how to act around Naruto. Previously Naruto had spent a long time singing and dancing and lathering himself up in the shower. Today it was minutes before the water was turned off. Was that good that he had washed the blood away so fast despite appearances of how much there was? Or bad that tough Naruto couldn’t stand to be under the water any longer because it was stinging his flesh so much.  The man came out of the room with a towel wrapped around his waist. Sasuke was confident that he gave no visible reaction, but internally he was a twisted turmoil of physical attraction and horror about what had been done to the man.

‘Your gown is still on the back of the door,’ Sasuke said nonchalantly.

‘Yeah,’ Naruto looked around the room, ‘I saw you’ve kept all my stuff around, that’s not freaky at all.’

‘What I have in my home is my own private affair. Do you understand what private means? It is you who’ve intruded into my space with no warning.’ It was an awful reply.

Naruto gave it the dismissive grunt it deserved, pulled the cover off the bed and stomped out of the room.

When the blonde turned, the breath caught in Sasuke’s throat. He couldn’t breathe. Cut into the other man’s skin, where his back curved down into his buttocks, was the jagged word , ‘SLUT’. Naruto was out of the room before Sasuke could even process what he’d seen. He slumped onto the edge of the bed his head in his hands. He did not know how long he stayed like that, searching for the possibility that this was something that turned Naruto on, that he’d done it for fun.

Finally, he made a few calls to cover the fact that for the first time in his career he was taking an unplanned absence. He supposed it was a natural progression from the first weekend break he’d taken away from work with Naruto, but although the same man was the cause, the reasons were hideously different.

He tried to stride through his apartment like he normally did, but he couldn’t. His movements were trepidatious, he opened doors slowly, his heart racing with the knowledge that Naruto was in his flat again, but his chest hurting with the reason why he was here.

Naruto was in his study curled up on the beanbag, the towel tossed to the side with noticeable red stains, the sheet over him and his brow creased up in concentration as he read…what _was_ he reading? Fuck, it was the letter Sasuke had written just before Naruto had appeared. What had he said in it? His instinct was to leap forward and snatch it away. He managed to remain still, his cheeks flushed.

‘That is private,’ he said firmly.

‘Yeah, there seems to be a lot of that going about,’ Naruto said absently without looking up.

‘You can stay if you wish, but not if you intend to go rummaging through all my affairs.’ Sasuke hardly believed he’d said it, let alone how indifferent he sounded. By a miracle Naruto was actually here with him again, something he’d dreamt of so many times but never believed could actually happen. And he was talking as if he didn’t care whether Naruto left! Who knew the habits he’d honed to succeed in the cut throat world of business would be so ill suited for trying to interact with a hurt human being he desperately wanted to help.

Naruto sighed and gazed up at Sasuke with those blue eyes which seemed tired and hurt but were not hostile. ‘I wasn’t trying to spy on you. I was looking for a tissue, or something. Bits of me are still bleeding and I didn’t want to make a mess on my beanbag.’ He licked his lips. ‘Is this not meant for me then, I’m not the ‘N’ you’re writing to?’

‘N’s a common letter,’ Sasuke replied.

‘Bastard.’ Naruto screwed it up and made to throw it at Sasuke, then changed his mind flattened it out, and placed it under the beanbag. He moved his body awkwardly, obviously struggling to find any position that he was comfortable in.

Sasuke gazed to the side. ‘This wasn’t… what has been done to you had nothing to do with…did it…I do not believe it’s possible as I…tied up loose ends…but…’

‘I’ve told you, I’m here because I know first-hand you’re a hard mf who doesn’t care about anyone but himself. And I need some peace, so just let me be, without feeling you have to make any polite small talk.’

Sasuke looked at a red stain that was starting to appear through the sheet. ‘I know a doctor. Discrete. You can trust them.’

Naruto made a noise that was more snarl than laugh. ‘Really? _You_ expect me to trust someone with my body recommended by you? Excuse me, Mr Uchiha Sir, but I’m going to take a pass on that one.’ He curled his body up tighter, pulling the sheet up high so it almost covered his face. His voice emerged softer and muffled. ‘Look, it was just a job that paid very well, but others might be upset if they saw me even though I’ve been in much worse states before and all I’ve got to do is sleep it off. So, I’m resting here out of the way. What’s so hard to understand about that?’

‘You’re escorting again?’

‘Seems so. Stop with the questions, do what you do best and leave me alone.’

Sasuke stood watching as Naruto fell into a restless sleep. Twisting himself up in the sheets, his eyes flickering, cries of pain regularly leaving his lips. The man had asked to be left alone. The only chance Sasuke had of keeping him close was by proving that at least in this one way he could be trusted.

Naruto gave a louder yell, and cuddled up even tighter. Without knowing quite why, Sasuke turned around. Itachi stood there.

He gave his brother's ghost a sad smile.‘What should I do, Big Brother?’

‘You know.’

‘Look after him for a moment please.’

Sasuke ran back to his bedroom, found Naruto’s phone and dialled the number for Granny he’d previously sent a text to.

A female voice answered. ‘Brat! Do you know how much stress you’ve put me through having to cancel all your dates? You better…’

‘Naruto needs help,’ Sasuke said.

There was a heartbeat's pause. 'Tell me where to be.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for continuing to read, I adore you all and am so grateful to you all and it keeps inspiring me.


	14. Chapter 14

Sasuke was rigid against the wall.  From the force of the blow, he almost expected there to be a Sasuke shaped hole through his apartment and him to be flying across the city. He definitely expected there to be a dent in his chest. He tentatively ran a hand over his torso.

The woman who was bent over Naruto gave a hard laugh. ‘Nothing is broken, rich boy. Only because I know how attached the brat is to you, and I don’t want him waking up and being worried about you when he needs to focus on his own healing.’ She looked up at Sasuke with steely eyes. ‘If, however, he wakes up with more sense than usual, and gives me permission, you will be feeling the full power of my anger.’

Sasuke met her stare. He was not scared, but he understood why Kakashi had questioned him so much when he’d told him who his visitor was. The person before him certainly fit Kakashi’s description of a feared, one-time crime lord, much more than Naruto’s beloved Granny.

Or maybe not.

She was efficient, but tender, as she moved Naruto’s body without waking him, examining his wounds.

‘Don’t just stand there. Are you completely useless? Get some warm water. Can you manage that?’

Sasuke left the room, shamed that he had to be told such a simple thing. How was it that he could deal with so many high-stressed situations without blinking, but Naruto had been in his home all this time and he hadn’t treated any of the simpler cuts himself?

As he gathered together, not just the water, but other items that could be useful, the answer was too clear. He was scared to touch Naruto, even if it was for the other man’s benefit, he had no right to be that intimate.

He knelt beside the woman as she tended to Naruto. Wordlessly, she rejected everything but the water, using supplies from her own bag.

‘Does he need a proper doctor? I have trustworthy contacts.’

She answered with a glare. His muscles tensed, preparing for another blow, but she turned back to Naruto and continued working.

‘Shouldn’t we wake him up?’ Sasuke asked.

‘Why?’

Sasuke wasn’t sure of the answer. Only that it made his chest ache to see Naruto looking so vulnerable. He’d rather have loud, obnoxious Naruto shouting at him for disobeying him and calling his granny, rather than this floppy man occasionally whining.

‘So he can tell you what hurts,’ Sasuke said unusually meekly.

‘I think it is fairly obvious where it’s going to hurt. Or do you want him to feel more pain?’ She raised a hand to cut off Sasuke’s denial, and indicated with a nod towards Naruto that she needed to concentrate.

 Sasuke forced himself to sit silently until she started to work on where the word ‘Slut’ had been carved into Naruto’s body.

‘What exactly is your medical training?’

‘More than yours,’ she replied.

‘I know that Naruto trusts you, and only you. That is why I called you, but if there’s any chance that’ll scar, forget your pride and let me get an expert for him. You can use your influence to make him accept it.’

She punched him sideways. ‘Don’t you dare speak to me about making the best decisions for him.’

Neither of them said anything for some time. When she wanted the water changed, she pointed but didn’t speak a word. Sasuke obeyed. He’d be the lowest lackey if it helped Naruto; he just wished he could be certain he’d made the right choice. The last hint of the connection between him and the yellow-head would be destroyed once Naruto was alert enough to realise what Sasuke had done. Sasuke could live with that, would have to live with that, as long as it was worth it, and the woman he’d called had actually helped. Should he have just bundled Naruto up and taken him to a reputable professional the same as he’d done for the dentist? And this was potentially so much worse than a simple tooth ache.

‘Why have you got him cramped up here on a bean bag? Is that part of your power play? Your games are over now, he needs more room to stretch out. Put him in a proper bed.’ Her voice was still sharp but it had an extra note of weariness to it. ‘Or is that not an option as far as you are concerned? He told me you’d booked him for several days, but have you finished with him and want me to take him away?’

Sasuke didn’t attempt to explain it was Naruto’s own preference to curl up in the corner of the study. At the idea of Naruto being taken away, he scooped the man up and took him to his bedroom. Naruto snuggled his head against Sasuke’s chest and mumbled something that sounded a lot like ‘Bastard’.

Sasuke paused before placing him on the bed. Bandaged, stitched, and bruised, Naruto was still the most beautiful person he’d ever seen. Would this be the last time he’d ever be able to hold him so close?

But this time was more than he deserved, more than he hoped for. He breathed in Naruto’s scent and memorised the feeling of his warm muscular body within his arms, then placed him reverently on the bed. He busied himself finding new covers and tucking them around Naruto. He was so intent on making Naruto comfortable, he was almost oblivious to the woman walking around and inspecting his bedroom, particularly all Naruto’s knick-knacks and clothes.

But then in a voice that demanded attention she put her hands on her hips and asked, ‘Why did you do this to him?’

‘You think I could do that to Naruto? I suggest you look to yourself. It is you who has forced him into this life and left him vulnerable to the extreme fetishes of any pervert with money. How can you live with putting him in such danger, when he is so sweet and kind? He talks of you with nothing but love and you betrayed him.’ The disdain in Sasuke’s tone luckily spilled out before his brain reminded him he was responsible for something that could have been a lot worse.

The woman gazed at him with fiery anger, then she sighed and shook her head. ‘Come on, let’s leave him to sleep.  I’m sure you have some expensive alcohol you want to share with me.’

Sasuke stood at the head of the bed, his hand hovering but not quite touching Naruto’s hair. ‘I won’t leave him. I’ll watch over him. Help yourself to whatever you want.’

In a voice that was close to kind, she said, ‘There’s no real damage, it is luckily not as bad as it looks, and he’s always healed fast. He just needs peace to rest alone, without a client demanding anything from him.’

‘I am  _not_  a client, and I want nothing but for him to be well.’

‘It won’t feel like that to him if he opens his eyes and sees you there. You pay for his company, therefore you are his client, and it’s a deep part of his nature to want to please you.’ She walked out of the room.

The memory of Naruto’s first visit when he’d looked at Sasuke’s paintings and imagined a world of swimming in the sea with friends who were just happy to be with him. Had it been like that for Naruto when Sasuke had taken him to the beach? He hoped so. He could smell the salt in the sea, holding Naruto close to him as he taught him how to swim. So different from tonight. So different from Naruto agreeing to have sex with those men…just to please him, as the woman had said.

He gave the sleeping figure of Naruto a final look and then walked out of the bedroom to find Naruto’s Granny, stroke pimp, stroke potentially dangerous angry woman.

She was sat down with a bottle of sake, and two glasses. On his appearance, she poured a drink for him and with a small movement of her finger flicked one of them across to the opposite side of the table. ‘Sit down and talk to me. I want the truth. When did you last book Naruto?’

‘Isn’t that information you should be fully aware of?’ Sasuke sat down but did not touch the drink.

She downed her own drink and poured the next one before she spoke again. ‘He has such an open face and a naturally honest personality, but he respects client confidentiality more than anyone else. He hates deceit, but he’s been lying to me.’ She downed the next drink and placed the glass carefully on the table. She gazed directly into Sasuke’s eyes. ‘I don’t have to explain myself to anyone, but he told you his real name, he came to you when he was hurt…so it’s important that you know I never wanted this for him.’

Sasuke gave a small nod. ‘He told me you wanted him to be a doctor, and your friend wanted him to be a writer, that you thought he was the one who would escape the…life and change things.’

She leaned back in his chair. ‘If he told you all that, then you know how things turned out this way. I am strong, Mr. Uchiha, I’ve seen a lot in my life without being the slightest bit shocked, but there are still some wounds that are difficult, if not impossible, to recover from.’ She looked to the side and they sat in silent for a long time.

It was Sasuke who finally spoke, in a voice much quieter than his normal one, ‘You said, earlier, that you didn’t break any of my bones because you know Naruto is attached to me. Why do you…has he said anything recently? Can you be certain that he is still…’

She raised an eyebrow, waiting for more but Sasuke retreated back into silence.

‘Naruto has a beautiful soul. I do not know if it is girlish idealism that I should be long past feeling, or just a false justification for not fighting more against him earning money to pay off my debts, but I was certain that among the high class clientele I selected for him, someone would recognise his value and want to keep him for their own. And in a way it did happen, he’s had many offers but refused them all. Then there was you. He changed after meeting you. He was both happier and sadder, braver and more frightened. I understood exactly how he was feeling because I felt the same. When he gave up escorting and was working every dead-end job he could find that wanted a strong young man and didn’t follow up on references, I didn’t show it but I was so relieved. He was so tired, barely getting more than an hour of sleep a night, and if you know Naruto, you know that that does not suit him, but he was so full of hope.’ She put her elbows on the table and leaned forward. ‘Then another change. His hope vanished. He went back to escorting. Taking on more clients than anyone else, insisting he had to make up for the time he wasn’t earning. Still seeing you, but without the light in his eyes any more. Meeting you tonight, seeing the state he is in, how he’s been worked over by an expert who wanted to hurt and humiliate him but not damage him, I realise what was obvious. He has been using you as cover, pretending to have dates with you, the one long term, ridiculously high tipping, client I’ve never had any direct contact with. And instead he’s been meeting men who pay well but that I would not ever allow any of my people, least of all him, to have any dealings with. I should have noticed. I should have known.’ She raised the glass to her lips and then put it down without drinking any of the alcohol.

‘He didn’t need to take any risks. I tried to pay him what I promised, but it was always returned.’ Sasuke stared down at his hands.

She nodded. ‘He’s obviously been going behind my back in more ways than one.’

‘Why would he let someone do that to him rather than accept my money?’ He wasn’t aware he’d spoken the question aloud until she replied.

‘I don’t know the answer to that, though I suspect you do. However, this I do need to know, is Naruto safe with you?’

He raised his head and met her eyes. ‘You know he is, or you would have broken my bones regardless of whether Naruto is attached to me or not.’

She smiled a smile with not a hint of mirth in it. ‘I’m glad there is some sort of understanding between us, Mr. Uchiha.’ She got up and collected her belongings and gave him a brief and efficient run down of how to dress and care for Naruto’s wounds. At the door she turned to him, ‘I presume you do not want to see me again, so ensure that you do look after him.’

‘You presume wrong. Naruto loves you and that connects you to me. Find a psychologist, clinic, retreat at the top of the mountain, whatever and whoever you need to help you deal with your grief and addictions. Cost is not a concern.’ Sasuke kept his expression blank, although the offer he’d made to this fierce woman was on pure impulse.

Her eyes widened, but her voice was harsh. ‘Do not think you can interfere with my life because you’re temporarily smitten with one of my escorts.’

‘There is nothing temporary about my feelings.’

She took a step closer to him so he felt surrounded by her perfume and the scent of sake on her breath.

‘You can judge me however much you want, it will not be a fraction of how harshly I judge myself. But whatever has happened between you and Naruto, you cannot buy me as your advocate, or get me out of the way so you can have complete control of him if that is your plan.’ Her right hand formed a fist.

Sasuke’s expression did not flicker. ‘I want Naruto in my life more than anything. But I know he’s not mine.  I do not have the words to express how happy I am that he’s chosen my apartment to recuperate in, but I know he’ll leave as soon as he feels able. All that’s left to me is to do whatever I can to ensure the person he trusts is capable of caring for him in the way he deserves. That is everything I dream of now. Find somewhere peaceful to go; take him with you. And help him to find a good companion, someone to teach him that sex can be love rather than something to be traded with.’

She turned away from him and opened the door. In a soft voice she said, ‘Most people say you are exactly what you’d expect from an Uchiha. When you reached out to meet Naruto I was glad he wasn’t interested, I argued with him just for form’s sake. Then someone whose opinion I never doubt said the opposite. You are not like your father, Sasuke. And that’s the biggest compliment I can give you.’

She closed the door behind her and he listened to her footfall down the corridor and away from him. For a moment Sasuke leaned against the wall breathing deeply, then he straightened himself out. He’d used up all his reserves of patience and kindness. Now he was going to do what he wanted to. Despite the  _doctor’s_ instructions to leave Naruto in peace, Sasuke drew up a chair beside his bed and watched the man he loved sleep.

 

***

Sasuke quickly discovered that the secret to happiness was to pretend that these few days with Naruto were going to last forever. In many ways he felt like a kid playing a game of make-belief. His real life, calls from his colleagues, studying markets, deciding on deals which could change thousands of people’s worlds from the workers being employed to the shareholders making millions, was similar to pointless homework, theoretical maths problems dispassionately and quickly solved.

But arguing with a sleepy man, trying to get him to eat and drink healthily, took the whole afternoon and all his wits to persuade his grumpy patient that protein and vitamins, not salt and sugar, were essential to healing. He was never sure how much Naruto was aware that he was with Sasuke, he mostly seemed dazed and tired, but he’d had strength on a couple of occasions to throw his meals across the room with loud shouts of, ‘Bastard’, before curling up again with grumbles that soon turned into snores.

He tended Naruto’s wounds with pragmatism, even that word carved on his back, photographing them to check progress and making more notes on the colouration of a bruise than he did on any of the pages and pages of reports he read through while Naruto slept. The man did heal fast, just as he said. Sasuke was relieved, but beneath his simple joy of having Naruto with him, he couldn’t entirely ignore the fact that soon Naruto would be fully alert and fully angry.

When it happened he was in the kitchen, unpacking the package that he’d gone down and collected from Kakashi. He’d been reluctant to leave Naruto alone in the apartment, the first time since the man had arrived, but Kakashi never left his security position in the front of the building and Sasuke was desperate to collect it immediately.

He was intent on inspecting his new purchase and the small cough behind him caught him by surprise and he turned around in an attack position his hand stopping a millimetre from hitting Naruto in the throat.

The yellowhead was wrapped up snugly in his orange robe with a pair of Sasuke’s dark satin pyjamas visible beneath. They were not the clothes Sasuke had left him and there were droplets of water on his cheeks and forehead but not his hair. So he’d been awake and up long enough to get changed and splash his face, however, he’d not had enough energy for a shower?

Naruto and Sasuke both murmured an apology at the same instance as they both looked down at how close Sasuke was to hitting him.

‘Sorry...I didn’t know you were out of bed.’

‘Soz, buddy, I didn’t mean to sneak up on you.’

Sasuke dropped his hand down to his side aware that his cheeks were reddening.

Naruto rubbed the back of his head also blushing.

They stood in a silence that was intermittently broken by both of them starting to mumble something at the same time and then stopping waiting for the other one to continue. Then Naruto’s eyes widened and brightened as he spotted what Sasuke had unwrapped.

‘OMG, Sasuke! Dumbo! Sebastian! The Cheshire Cat!’ He picked the little plastic tumblers up as if they were valuable treasures. ‘How did you get them? They’re like brand new! But the offer finished yonks ago, and they were only a limited time thing. Are they for me? OMG! They are for me, aren’t they? Wow! This is the best thing ever.’

‘You can keep the Cheshire Cat here if he’s too ghost-like.’ Sasuke smiled, but had to keep glancing downwards, Naruto’s joy was making him feel like his whole body was flushed with heat. ‘I didn’t know if you wanted Nemo and Simba too?’

‘No…no, they don’t need replacing, they’re retired safe in my room. Oh, Sasuke, how did you remember? Just from me yakking away about nothing, when was it we even spoke about them? It was when I stalked you and camped outside your door, wasn’t it? When you stopped speaking to me because you thought…’ Naruto’s voice faded and he carefully placed the beakers back on the side.

The silence returned.

Sasuke continued to stare down at his feet, until he heard Naruto’s breath becoming raspy. He looked up, there were beads of sweat on the blonde’s forehead, his skin was pale and he was leaning against the counter for support. But in his hand he held the Dumbo cup and was smiling down at it.

‘Idiot.’ Sasuke automatically put his arm around Naruto, leaning the man against him to take most of his weight. ‘What are you doing walking about on your own when you still need to rest?’

He guided Naruto out of the kitchen and back towards the bedroom. He was halfway there before he stopped, suddenly and stupidly conscious of the fact that caring for the dazed sleeping Naruto was very different from taking control and ordering the walking, talking Naruto about. He had no right. He may have stood their dumb, ashamed of his presumption for an indefinite time, but thankfully Naruto was alert enough not to let that happen.

‘I hope you’re having second thoughts about dragging me back to bed! I’m not going back to bed! I’m fed up with just lying there. Put me on the sofa. Not that I need your help, I’m just letting you touch me because I know it turns you on so much.’

Sasuke looked sideways, but Naruto was grinning, there was nothing bitter or snide in his voice at all.  He took the man to the sofa.

Naruto curled his legs up under him. ‘Now, if you’re in the mood to play nurse, which just in case you’re not clear of the rules, means doing everything I say to make me comfortable,  I want the letter from the study. I think I left it under the bean bag.’

He retrieved it, forcing himself not to read through it again. He handed it to Naruto, who folded it up and put it in his pocket without looking at it.

‘You  _are_  the ‘N’ I was writing it to,’ Sasuke said quietly.

Naruto laughed his familiar loud laugh. ‘No shit, Sherlock.’ Then his face softened and he ran his thumb over the picture of Dumbo on the beaker he was still holding. ‘Thank you.’

‘What for?’

‘I turn up out of nowhere after not seeing you for ages and I know I’m not the best patient…did I throw a bowl of tomato soup at you, or was that a dream?…and you don’t just put up with me, you do what you think is best for me, like phoning Granny, and making me eat yuck food…did you read to me too…like a really really boring thing about water extraction laws to help me sleep?...and I thought I came to you out of like, yaknow, the animal instinct to be alone when you’re feeling ill, thinking you’d let me hide out at your place out of guilt or whatever while you were at work. But…but I think it was another kind of instinct that drew me to you when I was down and I just went where I wanted to be without worrying about the logic of it…does that make any sense?’ The words tumbled fast out of Naruto and Sasuke followed them with his heart more than his ears.

Sasuke’s reply in contrast was slow and careful. ‘I liked looking after you. I don’t think there is anyone else alive I would have taken time off work for. Yes, you did throw tomato soup at me. And a whole wheat pasta salad. And a bowl of bran flakes. Luckily even ill you’re a good aim so you hit me and didn’t ruin my decor.’

Naruto interrupted him with a big ‘Ha!’ He poked Sasuke in the thigh that was the nearest thing to his hand. ‘So you’re admitting that I am an amazing athlete and way better and more awesome than you at everything?’

Sasuke took the hand that Naruto’s poked him in within his and sat down next to his annoying friend. ‘What I admit is that if there was an Olympic event for hurling healthy food across a room instead of eating it you would be the undisputed heavyweight champion of the world.’

‘I’ll take that.’

They smiled at each other, then both blushed and Naruto pulled his hand away a split moment before Sasuke dropped it.

 ‘I was concerned about you so contacted the only person I knew you’d trust to look after you, trained medic or not.’ Sasuke’s voice was more hurried now. ‘Although I was more hesitant than I should’ve been because I didn’t want to go against your wishes. Not after what happened last time we met.’

Naruto scratched his head and made a face of mock puzzlement. ‘What happened? I’ve forgotten. Oh yeah, it’s coming back to me. I’m getting flashes of a really cheap motel room and a psychopath with a grass cutting thing? Is that it? I think I remember now. You are talking about that time, aren’t you, when you wanted to get revenge on me for cheating on you, when I’d actually given up escorting and was waiting to dedicate my whole life and amazing skill set to making you, and you alone, happy?’

Sasuke gazed forward and kept speaking as if Naruto hadn’t said anything. ‘I read a few reports to you because you seemed to like the sound of my voice. Sometimes it looked like you were having nightmares, but if I was speaking you just lay their calmly.’

‘Clever multitasking, I like it, combining work with stopping your unwanted house guest from disturbing you with screaming.’

‘I read you  _Peter Pan_ too. And bits of  _The Wind in the Willows_  too. I thought you’d like the river and the friendship, and the toad.’ Sasuke bit his lip, his voice sounded defensive.

Naruto’s eyes narrowed and Sasuke clenched his stomach waiting for the verbal assault that had nothing to do with what Sasuke had read to him.

But what Naruto said in a suspicious voice was, ‘Did you buy these Disney collectibles to trick me, thinking I’d drink that horrid protein shake thing if you put it in a cute beaker?’

Despite the tension in his muscles waiting for the conversation he knew they had to have, Sasuke smiled. ‘Possibly. But I think you’ve been the one tricking me, you’ve been much more awake and aware than I realised. Did you like having me running about after you? Making a fool of myself coaxing you for hours to eat and doing little trains for you?’

‘How could I not like my stern serious Uchiha doing choo choo trains for me with my food?’ Naruto chuckled. ‘Often I kinda feel like there’s something wrong with me, and I’ve missed out on whatever’s supposed to happen to turn someone into a proper functioning adult, but with you I feel like a kid in the best possible way.’

‘Me too,’ Sasuke said. His smile faded. ‘Though when I actually was young I wasn’t a very happy child.’

‘What? You mean you weren’t always the bouncing ball of fun and sunshine you are now?’ Despite the jest of his words, Naruto reached out and stroked Sasuke’s leg. ‘We saw that in each other straight away, didn’t we? That we’re both lost children trying to search for something we never had. It’s why you took me to your secret room with your children’s books that you hadn’t shown anyone else, and why I could make book forts with you when you were supposed to be my client hiring me for sex.’

They sat in silence, but it wasn’t the uncomfortable silence that it had been in the kitchen. Sasuke watched Naruto’s hand travel up and down his thigh. There was a sexual response in him that was beyond his control, but deeper than that he had peace. It lasted until Naruto yawned and stretched his arms above his head, the sleeves fell down enough to show the marks from where rope and wire had dug into his skin.

‘You should have taken my money. Why did you go with men who’d hurt you like that?’

‘It wasn’t men. A woman, really beautiful, I mean really beautiful. She called herself Kaguya…and I am only telling you that, Bastard, because it obviously wasn’t her real name. I try to avoid that world as much as possible nowadays, but even I heard what was done to a certain threesome. I can’t imagine how you…I mean, someone, I have no idea who…could even physically do that and…’

Sasuke gave a small shake of his head. Naruto sighed but didn’t pursue it any further.

‘So yeah, Kaguya had been treated really badly by this guy and had her heart broken and I related. Yaknow, the money was super useful for Granny, I earned a lot, but it wasn’t just that. I guess, I didn’t get how angry she was and how much she hated all men. Seriously, it could’ve been a hell of a lot worse.’ He gave a wide smile as if they were discussing something entirely different. ‘And you totally get why I can’t take your money so don’t pretend you need to ask me about it.’

‘I gave you my word, Naruto. It’s about that…connection, the friendship between us. I do not expect anything from you. Especially not your forgiveness.’

Naruto shrugged. ‘Of course I forgive you, sugar. That’s not a problem. I understand the intensity and the pain because I felt it, feel it, too. I know it can drive you to madness and beyond. But it broke something inside me. It’s not your fault. I’m the idiot one who built this dream world around you, like as if the guy who hates hookers, could ever forget what I am.’ He ran his hand through his hair. ‘You remember me telling you about Sakura? She’s the one you thought I was proposing to, and she’s my friend and everything, but she literally saw me and chatted with me, and came to the conclusion that I was the guy to introduce to her parents as an example of the worst boyfriend ever. And I just accept that, I mean, it’s what I am, and who’s going to be celebrating when their beloved kid brings a whore home as the love of their life? That’s how everyone gets judged, isn’t it, by the way they make their money? It’s not like it’s unique to me. But with you…’ Naruto gazed into Sasuke’s eyes. ‘But with you…I let myself believe for a moment that I could be different. And no matter how much it hurt when I realised the truth, it was still worth it, no regrets.’ Naruto leaned his head back and chuckled softly. ‘When I delude myself, at least I do it properly, my heart picks out my richest, hottest, iciest, meanest client.’

‘Naruto…you are not deluded…I…’

Without looking at him, Naruto put his hand over Sasuke’s mouth. ‘Please, Sasuke. If you were simply an evil thoughtless guy even my stupid brain could over rule my idiot heart. But I know, you think about me like I think about you, I know you listen to me, like I listen to you.’ He dropped his hand away and wrapped it around the Dumbo beaker again. ‘You buy me the most perfect gifts. Not things that are about flashing your wealth about like other people who’ve played with the idea of possessing me for a while. You get me things that are personal and are about you and me. Yet when you were angry…’ Naruto swallowed. His voice had veered between matter of fact and cheery, but when Sasuke looked directly into Naruto’s face he saw there were tears on the man’s cheeks.

‘Any…relationship between us would be difficult anyway, wouldn’t it? Normal relationships are difficult…yaknow, those beautiful Hollywood actors with amazing careers and lots of money and none of the worries of normal people still suffer bitter break ups, don’t they?’

‘What has that got to do with us?’

‘Nothing. Everything. Just relationships are hard. And you doubted me before we’d even begun properly. And your response…your thought out response that you planned…you didn’t like run in the restaurant and punch me out or something like I’d do… you festered and decided how to deal with your pain…and what you decided on was to hurt me through my profession. To prove to yourself that I was a thing to be bought and used, not a real nice person the great, untouchable Sasuke Uchiha could ever be truly committed to.’ Naruto stroked Sasuke’s cheek tenderly. ‘So, yaknow, please, that’s how we both know it went down, so don’t pretend it can be any other way between us. Because it’s too painful, and more than that, right now I’m too tired and too weak to resist you if you told me you…’ His hands made small fists and he rubbed his eyes. ‘You understand what I mean, right?’

‘Yes.’

‘Cool. Good, that’s all sorted between us then. And talking about me still being a little worn around the edges and all that, it gives me a good handicap so you’ve finally got a chance to beat me at a racing game. I can play one handed if that’ll be even fairer for you?’

Sasuke loaded up a game in the console and responded to Naruto’s banter with his own, pretending successfully that he didn’t see the tears that occasionally fell down Naruto’s face.

After only twenty minutes Naruto fell asleep. Sasuke carried him to the study and placed him on the bean bag. He went to his desk, turning over the work he could do. Instead he got the well-thumbed copy of  _Peter Pan_ , snuggled next to Naruto, opened the book and began reading at the first chapter.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thank you very much for continuing to read, I really appreciate it, I am loving writing this story and sharing it with you, it is really special to me x

‘Oi, weirdo, why have you got photos of my beaten-up body all over your phone?’

Sasuke turned on his heel and marched back into the living room. ‘Why are you nosing around my private phone?’

‘Because it’s the first time you’ve been distracted enough to leave it in my reach without the lock on it.’ Naruto beamed up at him. ‘And now I know what you’re wanking to when you spend ages in the bathroom.’

Sasuke tried to snatch the phone away and Naruto moved it behind his back with the infuriating speed he sometimes displayed.

‘It’s not like that, at all. I was monitoring your health and…hnnnn, I don’t know why I am trying to explain myself to a sneak.’

Naruto burst out laughing. ‘A _sneak_?’

‘Yes, a sneak. You were doing that thing you do deliberately while I was on the phone to make me…be less vigilant where I put my phone down and…’

‘What thing was I doing exactly?’  Naruto sprawled back into the sofa spreading his thighs wide. ‘I’ve no idea what you’re talking about.’

Sasuke leaned over Naruto. ‘You are the most provoking man that I know.’

He leaned too close, locks of his hair dropped down and touched Naruto’s forehead. Naruto’s face transformed from confident, annoying, tease, to shy, uncertain youth. Sasuke could only imagine what he himself looked like as he gazed into those amazing blue eyes.

Quickly, but not quickly enough he stood up and tried to remember what he was supposed to be doing. ‘Did you really want a glass of ice cold water because you were too hot…’

‘No. Um. I didn’t. Maybe. I was just playing with you. A little.’ Naruto passed Sasuke his phone without looking at him.

‘I’ll delete all those pictures. There’s no need for them anymore. Now you’re fully recovered.’

‘You don’t have to…if you don’t want to,’ Naruto mumbled.

Sasuke bit his lip. He lived for these moments and he hated them. He’d made a succession of mistakes, first staring at Naruto while he was on the phone, putting his phone down without locking it, the fact he’d forgotten those old photos were there for the yellow head to discover, then followed by leaning over him so tantalisingly close, and all that led to the worst thing by far: mentioning that Naruto was totally well.

It was a subject they were both careful to avoid as it led naturally to the fact that there was absolutely no reason for Naruto to still be staying at his flat.

And now he didn’t know whether leaving or deleting the photos was the wrong or right thing to do. Their relationship was delicate and such decisions could make the difference in whether their friendship survived.

‘Deleted.’ Sasuke got rid of them all. That wasn’t how he wanted to think of Naruto. ‘We can take some new ones that are more you.’

If Naruto’s face drooped at Sasuke deleting the only images he had of him, the blonde’s smile lit up the whole apartment at Sasuke saying he wanted to replace them with better ones.

‘Selfie time! Come on then, cuddle up with me.’ He closed his legs and shuffled over to the edge of the sofa as if Sasuke needed all the rest of the space to fit in. ‘Is it still a selfie if there are two of us? Is it a duesie then? A couplie?’

Sasuke remained standing. ‘We need a better background.’ It was a feeble, mumbled excuse, but better than the real reason that he didn’t want to cuddle up and snap photos with Naruto because he was so desperate to cuddle up and snap photos with Naruto.

‘What? Are you offering to take me on holiday? The sea? Or have you got something else in mind? The beach? Are the beach and the sea kinda the same? Either’d be really cool for our first couplie!’

‘How did you get to me taking you on holiday? I was thinking more of walking to the kitchen where the walls would provide a plain background and…’

‘You don’t want to go on holiday with me?’

Sasuke stared blankly at the other man. What was he supposed to do with that? Trying to work out whether to get rid of bruised pictures of Naruto was enough of a challenge for one day.

Naruto rubbed the back of his head he laughed, ‘I’m only teasing, you know that. As if you’d want to take me on holiday! If you let me take all your consoles and games with me you can even be rid of me right now, how about it, a cheap price for getting your peace back?’

‘I need to go into work. A meeting I can’t avoid. I can pick up ramen on the way back, if you’d like that? From that street food place you said you loved.’

‘They don’t do take out.’

‘They will for me.’

Sasuke collected his things and walked to the door, Naruto tailed after him. The blonde passed him a coat and umbrella.

‘It’s not raining.’ Sasuke still took the items.

Naruto shrugged. ‘I know, but I think that’s what people do when they see other people off to work. And this?’ He leaned forward and kissed Sasuke on the cheek. ‘Have a good meeting. Make everyone else sweat and be millions and millions richer when you come back.’ He shrugged again and grinned.

Sasuke’s body was reacting as if Naruto had pinned him against the wall and thrust his tongue down his throat and his hand down his trousers.

‘Break your record by tens of seconds on every single racing game.’ Sasuke managed somehow to keep his voice steady and walk away. He allowed himself only one glance over his shoulder to see Naruto standing and waving him off.

He walked into the stairwell and immediately stopped and rested his head against the wall. What the hell was going on in his life?

When he returned, he couldn’t entirely supress the moment of disappointment when Naruto didn’t immediately run to greet him, but then why would he?

‘I’ve got food,’ he called out while he walked through the apartment. Even that didn’t get a response.

He found Naruto in his study, not curled up asleep on the beanbag but sitting at the desk, piles of paper in front of him, his face pale, his brow furrowed. As soon as Sasuke walked in he started speaking, the words tumbling out with no gaps.

‘So I am nosey about everything regarding you, but this wasn’t like the phone earlier, I wasn’t deliberately trying to go through your things. I was just looking for paper, and, yaknow, why is paper so hard to find in your houses when you’re like supposed to be an office-business guy? So this is all your fault really. I just needed to leave you a note, in reply to the letter you wrote me, and because it would’ve been rude to leave without writing something to you. See, really, I was being polite and…

 ‘You’re leaving?’ There was no control in his voice, it was cold fear.

‘Yes. No. Maybe. I should. It was easy to make the decision when you weren’t here, it was totally sensible and mature, but now you’re standing there looking all…all like you, and actually like sad at the idea of me going, it’s like a trillion times more difficult. But don’t distract me. We need to talk about this.’ For once there was more white in Naruto’s eyes than blue. He held up the papers in front of him. One after another. Photos of bruised and battered bodies. Some older, but mostly young people. ‘Earlier those images you had of me on your phone, I was just teasing you about them, I guessed it was something to do with monitoring my process by all the notes you made but…’ He took a deep breath and still managed to continue talking before Sasuke could say anything. ‘These are all dated after… what almost happened in that motel room between us. Did that trigger something in you? I won’t judge, well, yeah, I can’t lie, I am going to judge a bit…a lot…because what the fuck, some of these photos definitely do not look consensual! But I am your friend so talk to me and I am by your side through everything and anything. When I say _everything and anything_ , what I mean is you getting some serious support to be precise.’ He put the pages back on the desk and walked over to Sasuke putting an arm around him. ‘Are you okay? It’s a shock right, me finding these things. But it’s for the best, I will help you anyway I can.’

Sasuke thrust Naruto away from him. ‘Are you standing in my home and accusing me of…do you really believe that…?’

‘You wanted to watch me have sex with people I didn’t want to have sex with,’ Naruto said it simply with no anger. ‘Or have I got that wrong?’

If only he had. If only he could erase that moment from both their memories. But it was there between them every second of every day, in each word they spoke and all the words that he couldn’t say. If things had gone differently, Naruto would’ve been his acknowledged lover now, they’d have made love through days and nights, and touch and caress each other freely. He’d have a companion, not someone lodging in his apartment for an unknown period of time and thinking that he was capable of…

‘It shouldn’t have gone as far as it did. I am fully aware of that, and I have no excuses. But I realised in time what a better person would admittedly have known immediately, I do not care how much I get hurt as long as you are not in pain.’ He met Naruto’s eyes. ‘Do you truly believe I get turned on by those pictures?’

Naruto frowned but shook his head. ‘No. When I think with my gut, I know you don’t. But I don’t know why you’ve got such a big collection of them? But I guess that’s none of my business. I’ve just got to trust you’re not hurting anyone who doesn’t deserve to be hurt.’ He moved to walk out of the room.

Sasuke grabbed his arm. ‘I know there’s something not right about me, but I want to do better. After how far I almost went with you, after losing the first person who has made me feel…the way you make me feel, I wanted to do something that counted. I have an award for philanthropy, but the only money I’ve given to charity is about tax bonuses or just part of a deal that benefits me and my public image in the long run. Unless you count what I have to give to my family out of duty and obligation.’ He forced a smile but it lasted less than a second. ‘I started investigating domestic abuse and…sex trafficking because of you. But I know, better than most how much corruption there is within organisations that are supposed to help the vulnerable and poor, I’ve used it to my advantage before. However, now, I didn’t want to give a donation that would just end up in some executive’s offshore retirement fund. I had an idea, a stupid idea, that I could somehow train as a counsellor or…I don’t even know what, and go to these areas myself and ensure that my money actually benefitted people. The photos you’ve found are just a small part of my research, a test of sorts, to see if I found them too traumatic then I’d be incapable of dealing with anyone in real life. How did you even find them? I was sure they were locked away.’

‘I don’t know. It was weird. I was pulling on this drawer and I thought it was locked, then I tried it again a bit later and it opened. O. Fuck. It was your ghost brother haunting me, wasn’t it? Is that the type of things he does?’

Sasuke felt the shiver go through Naruto where he was holding him, he managed to bite back his immediate sarcastic reply that yes, his imaginary ghost brother was so bored in the afterlife that he often opened and locked drawers because that was about as creative as ghost life got.

Instead he changed his grip on Naruto’s arm to a reassuring rub. ‘Itachi wouldn’t haunt you. He likes you. He must have thought you needed to see those pictures for some mysterious reason.’

Naruto threw his arms around Sasuke’s neck and snuggled his head against his shoulder. ‘He likes me? Like my parents like you?’

‘The parents that live in your head? Yes, exactly like that.’ Sasuke’s spoke in his usual tone, then the undeserved warmth of Naruto next to him, made his whole body feel like it was glowing. That was the reason. Nothing else. In a quiet, child like unsure voice he heard himself ask, ‘Do your parents still like me? Even after what I did? I would kill anyone who thought of hurting you like that.’

‘They understand things better than me,’ Naruto replied enigmatically. ‘Now two things. You think I’d be able to come with you when you do your aid work? I don’t have a passport or anything. Well, not in my real name. But you can sort that out right? If you’re going aboard? For some reason it feels like you’re going aboard. And if not, there are lots of people in this country who need help. Can you organise for me to be trained? You know I’ll work hard. Will they want someone like me though? I like dreamed of being a teacher to young kids, but that’s never going to happen now. When will we be going? Can we sleep in your country house tonight? I know you said Itachi likes me, but, yaknow, tell him I don’t mean to offend him, but he’s still a ghost and that’s scary. We can eat here first before we leave, you haven’t ruined all the food chatting to me all this time, have you? And you are my best friend, Sasuke, at all times, in the majority of the time when you’re bastard, and in those rare occasions too when you’re not a bastard.’

‘That was more than two things.’

Sasuke gave no direct replies to anything Naruto said, he didn’t bother explaining that the aid work had been a ridiculous whim to try and ease his conscience not a real thing that would happen. He didn’t reply with his own important question about whether Naruto had definitely changed his mind and was going to stay now and would not be disappearing and leaving Sasuke goodbye notes if he ever left Naruto alone in the apartment.

Instead he microwaved the food, and chatted about his meeting, not the work element, but describing his most formidable colleagues and enemies in ways that made Naruto laugh. After they’d eaten, they packed up a few things and drove out to his country house, even though he should be remaining in the city as he would certainly be needed in the office over the next few days.

When they arrived, before anything else he showed Naruto where the tomato plant was. He explained in detail all the precautions he was taking to keep it alive when tomato plants were normally only grown as annuals, but with exceptional care could be kept as perennials, to the extent that he was even paying a specialist gardener an extortionate amount to care for it when he was away.

‘And I was scared to ask what you did with Sasukeplant, you didn’t seem to like him much.’ Naruto caressed the leaves.

 ‘I love him.’ Sasuke caressed another leaf. ‘I didn’t know I was capable of feeling this way for a…plant. But I do. And I will be the best person I can to look after him and keep him safe through all his life.’

He showed the seeds he’d collected and some planted in pots each with a letter glittered on it ‘N’, ‘A’, ‘R’, ‘U’, ‘T’ and ‘O’.

‘I can’t believe Sasukeplant is going to have babies!’

‘Don’t get too excited, we have to see if they germinate first.’

‘If you don’t want me to get excited, stop with the dirty talk, have you ever _germinated_ anything before, honey?’

‘There is nothing at all sexy about the word ‘germinate’, idiot.’

Naruto spent the rest of the evening proving the opposite. They went to bed late. Sasuke made up a spare room for his guest. But at some point, between the darkest hours of night and the sun shining through the window, Naruto came up to his bedroom and crawled in beside him.

‘This house is too big to be separate in, it feels lonely.’ Naruto mumbled in his sleepy voice. ‘You don’t mind do you. We’re friends, friends can share a bed all friendily, can’t they? That’s something good guy friends do, right?’

‘Just don’t snore or I am kicking you out. I don’t care about your old wounds, you’ll be on the floor.’

Within a minute Naruto was both snoring _and_ drooling. Sasuke wrapped his arms around him and held him against his chest.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone for continuing to read and leave kudos, and I think some of you are reading my other stories too which is really nice and I am very grateful. This story has turned out longer than I originally planned so no definites, but currently I am writing with the thought that there are going to be four more chapters, so not too much longer. Right now though, I hope you enjoy this current update :)

There had been a time when Sasuke knew to the day, almost the hour, how long it was since he’d first met Naruto. But then he started to question whether he should count it from when Suigetsu showed him the video, or the break on the beach, or when they had spent the night in each other’s arms kissing.

Or should he be counting from when Naruto met him in the motel room, he was ridiculously grateful that they were getting further and further in linear time away from that darkness, even if it would now be forever between them, there was no removing the shared knowledge of what Sasuke was capable of when he felt his love had been rejected.

It should be the unexpected but yearned for reunion when Naruto turned up again in his apartment and still hadn’t left. But how could he date their current friendship from when Naruto had let himself get tortured for money and had come to Sasuke because he was looking for a place to lay low where no one would be worried about the way he had been cut up?

Yet that was where whatever they were now had begun.  Or continued. Naruto came and went as he pleased, Sasuke had given him security access again to both his apartment and country house. For someone who talked an incredible amount, Naruto didn’t mention where he went, but they understood without ever saying that he wasn’t escorting. Sometimes Sasuke went downstairs and found Naruto just chatting to Kakashi, apparently not minding that Kakashi was reading one of his dirty books all the while.

Sasuke went to the office and meetings, a lot less than he used to, he delegated and worked from home instead, but when he did go out, he always knew Naruto would be there when he got back. They had become roommates. Though how he had ended up with a roommate when he prized his own company, didn’t need rent (which was fortunate as he didn’t get rent), and the man living with him was neither family nor lover, often woke him up in the middle of the night as his logical brain tried to sort it out.

But they weren’t normal roommates. Sasuke was both freer and more restrained with Naruto than with anyone else who had been in his life. He constantly wanted to suggest taking a long break together to the beach, but shyness held him back, that and the memory of what had happened there and what wouldn’t happen now. They had had a couple of trips together, to go and collect Naruto’s Granny, who had a knack of turning a peaceful retreat into a drinking and gambling den. Sasuke half thought she did it to spite him and the huge bills he paid for these places, but the longer Naruto stayed with him, the warmer she became. Or she didn’t threaten to punch him so often, at least.

But maybe these two days were going to be the start of his and Naruto’s relationship. Naruto had been asked to a wedding and asked Sasuke to be his ‘plus one,’ in his own way.

Last night Naruto had yawned and gone to bed earlier than normal muttering something about a long day tomorrow. Sasuke hadn’t really listened; he was disappointed that he hadn’t managed to get Naruto to watch a film together. His brow creased, wondering if Naruto had noticed Sasuke starting to take advantage of the fact that falling to sleep together watching a film was the nearest he got to regularly feeling Naruto cuddled up against him, and that when it was his choice he was deliberately choosing longer and longer arthouse films with less and less linear plot. Or whether Sasuke’s plan had been too successful in selecting films Naruto would find boring and now Naruto couldn’t face watching one of Sasuke’s choices even if it meant Sasuke watched ‘The Princess Bride’ with him for the twentieth time.

It was these sorts of thoughts that kept him laying sleepless in bed where once he used to be thinking about investments and profit margins.  Naruto had gone to bed first so had chosen the room he wanted, which was the main one. This was another of the rules that had sprung up between them without ever being discussed, they didn’t share a bed unless they were too tired to make a conscious responsible decision, but they shared the rooms between them, with neither of them exclusively occupying either the main or spare one. Sasuke could see a pattern in Naruto’s choices, when Sasuke worked late or Naruto thought he was looking tired, Naruto always ensured he went to bed first and chose the spare room leaving Sasuke with the bedroom that had been his alone for so long. If Sasuke had annoyed him, Naruto also went to bed first, sometimes ridiculously early, and again took the bigger room, shouting out to Sasuke how comfortable he was every five minutes. But mostly Naruto stayed up late and let Sasuke choose what he wanted.

Sasuke hoped Naruto didn’t see his pattern so easily. He deliberately chose differently sometimes. He didn’t mind that the furniture in the main room was more expensive and he’d selected to his particular tastes, whereas the spare room was tasteful but generic. All he cared about was being in the bed that Naruto had slept in the night before.

And last night that is what he’d had. He alternated breathing in Naruto’s warm scent, with fretting that he’d ruined their movie nights by wanting Naruto to be bored and asleep in his arms. It was 4am, after hours of internet searching on his phone, researching animated films that Naruto may not have been seen and would be surprised and happy that Sasuke had found for him, before Sasuke finally fell asleep.

At 6am something incredibly energetic was jumping up and down on his bed.

 ‘Bastard, why aren’t you up yet? We need to get going.’

Sasuke was immediately awake, though his body was rebelling and telling him that however superhuman he aimed to be, he still needed to sleep for more than two hours. His tiredness showed in the words that slipped out of his mouth.

‘If you want to get me up and you have that much energy, you should be bouncing about on my…’ He managed to stop himself before he finished the sentence. There was some flirtation between them, but always initiated by Naruto. And there had been too much open lust in Sasuke’s voice for him to be able to pass it off as a joke. He sat up straight and quickly said in a flat tone of voice, ‘Where is it we are supposed to be going?’

‘The wedding, of course.’

Sasuke’s first blurry thought was that somehow, he had missed a whole section of his life where he had proposed to Naruto and they were due to be married today. For a brief moment he was blissfully happy before his brain started sparking more to life and revealed what a ridiculous idea that was.

Still he asked more tentatively than he normally would, ‘Whose wedding?’

Naruto flopped down next to Sasuke, sitting so their heads were level. ‘I told you all about it. Sakura and Rock Lee, remember? The girl who hired me to be her fake boyfriend, and my friend, her real boyfriend, who I spar with. And they’re getting married and have invited me what with me being their friend and everything, not that you get friendship what with you never, ever having anyone over. If I had this place it’d be full of people, what’s the point of having so much room just to be on your own all the time?’ Naruto eyes got even wider. ‘Unless you normally are overflowing with people visiting you, but don’t want any of your friends to meet me?’

Sasuke couldn’t help himself ruffling Naruto’s yellow hair with a smirk. ‘You are too cute when your confidence armour slips and you have moments of uncertainty, it makes me not want to tell you the truth that you are the only friend I need.’

Naruto blushed and laughed. ‘I noticed how you managed to answer without having to admit that you would be embarrassed for your friends to meet me.’

‘Before things went wrong, when I was away on my business trip all I could think about was wishing that you were with me. I have to maintain a certain public image that has nothing to do with my private life which I prefer to remain private. But do you think I’d truly care what anyone would think about you being my…friend?’

‘What would you think about one of your colleagues being…friends with a whore? You’d judge them, wouldn’t you?’ Naruto licked his lips. ‘I know a little bit about the world you move in from my work. The ones that take escorts openly to parties do it either to flash their wealth, like buying a new car, or to pretend that they’re being risqué and daring, flouting societal rules, whereas, in reality, there’s nothing safer than someone you’ve hired through an agency to make you happy for a night.’

‘We’re not talking about me being seen with you as an escort, we’re talking about me taking you out as my…friend…my good friend, no, my best friend.’ Sasuke frowned. Why hadn’t Naruto started this conversation last night when he’d been fully awake? He sensed in the twisting of his stomach how important it was, but couldn’t quite unpick what his _friend_ was really asking him.

‘Cool. It’s great to yaknow just get a bit of reassurance that you’re not a total prick in every area.’

Sasuke rolled his eyes at how one part of his body was now definitely awake from Naruto saying ‘prick’ in the complete opposite of a sexual context. And somehow the annoying man had realised the effect he had, he flicked the covers up and stared down at the tenting in Sasuke’s pyjamas with a grin.

‘Okay, I’ll give you a minute, or shall I make it two?’ His grin widened. ‘But we need to get going to make the wedding in time.’ He swung off the bed.

‘You still haven’t told me whose wedding?’

‘Yeah, I have. Sakura and Rock Lee. You’re my plus one, so sort not-so-little-Sasuke out,’ he nodded towards Sasuke’s groin with a wink, ‘and get a wiggle on, I don’t want to be late.’

Naruto danced out of the door before Sasuke had a chance to get any more details, like where exactly the wedding was taking place that they needed to leave so early. But when he looked in the bathroom mirror, he saw a glow to his face. Who knew that _‘You’re my plus one’_ were the most beautiful words in the English Language.

 

Their rush to get to the wedding, was in fact a rush to get Naruto clothes to wear to the wedding.

‘You can’t buy a new suit on the day you want it!’ Sasuke had protested. ‘Even I give my tailors more time than that to adjust it to fit me.’

Naruto had laughed, ‘It’s time to introduce you to the glories of straight off the peg shopping.’

The glories of ‘straight off the peg shopping’ involved arriving at a shopping mall two hours before any of the clothes shops opened, ‘Great, I’d worried you’d take too long but we’ve got here in time to beat the rush!’ Naruto had beamed, and somehow filling all those two hours wondering around the same half dozen shops with variations of the same cheap displays, and peering in their windows while Naruto talked non-stop about which suit would be best for him.

When the shops did open, the ‘rush’ that they’d beaten by getting here in the dead hours turned out to be one dishevelled tramp asking for a note to be changed into coins for reasons only known to himself. The tramp got short shift and was turned out. The saleslady gave Naruto a similar expression of disdain, the kind of contempt that went with the early hour of the morning before coffee and food had had time to appease people’s innate sharpness and annoyance.

Sasuke stepped up beside his friend, and immediately she became all smiles and servitude.  Sasuke behaved at his worse, anyone who looked down on Naruto because his hair was a bit tousled and his clothes were obviously not as expensive as Sasuke’s would never gain any favour from him. Naruto nudged him a couple of times to be more polite, but the ruder Sasuke was, the more fawning and obliging the saleslady became.

Naruto buzzed with happiness, calling Sasuke into the changing room with him as he tried on each new suit.  He didn’t seem to notice how small the space was, even as his elbows and knees poked into Sasuke as he undressed down to a loose pair of striped boxers.

‘Do you think I need new underwear for a new suit?’ Naruto pondered staring at himself in the mirror.

‘Why who’s going to see them?’ Sasuke snapped back perhaps too quickly.

Naruto didn’t react, tilting his head and talking on. ‘I’ve never bothered bringing any clothes to your place, yaknow, that I used to wear for work. I just like have all the things I’d relax in if I was alone.’

Sasuke kept his face blank, he didn’t know if this was a good or bad thing regarding the state of their relationship.

‘I can borrow yours though, right? No need to spend more money. I know for a fact you would have packed at least two spares for when you come from just looking at me.’ Naruto laughed loudly enough to fill the whole shop, the thin walls of the changing room vibrated with the noise.

‘I think I can afford to buy you underwear,’ Sasuke said through thin lips. Naruto’s teasing was too close to the mark when he was standing in this tiny room with the yellow-head entirely naked aside from a flimsy pair of boxers.

When he was away from Sasuke’s sights, he must have definitely been doing some kind of working out, as his muscles were more defined and sculptured than ever, something which definitely wasn’t occurring from the regime of eating, lounging and gaming that Sasuke saw. Naruto’s shoulders seemed broader, his waist narrower and his ass tighter. Or it could just be that Sasuke was just incredibly hungry for the other man. Even trying not to gaze at the other man in that way, he was aware of so many little things about Naruto’s body: the faint lines where the scars had almost but not quite healed; the swirl of the tattoo on his stomach; the fine hairs on his arms.

Sasuke clenched his fists, he needed to work hard to resist his yearning just to grab Naruto and explore every part of his body here and now in this changing room. He concentrated on the other man’s voice, reminding himself that whatever he might be feeling himself, his friend was focused on entirely different things. This electricity, this chemistry, was not a shared thing, but something made from his own hopeful lust.

 ‘I’m paying for everything this weekend. I’ve already told you that. This is my treat. The hotel, the food, my own clothes, and whatever else comes up.’

Naruto had told him on the drive to the mall, but Sasuke hadn’t listened properly it seemed, this was obviously a more important point of pride for Naruto than he’d gathered. He made a mental note to somehow avoid all his normal habits and look for the cheapest options everywhere. Although he couldn’t do that as Naruto would notice and think Sasuke was patronising him. How was a man supposed to navigate all these problematic situations? If it wasn’t Naruto, it wouldn’t be worth the headache. If it wasn’t Naruto, there would be no headache, he’d never even been close to caring what other people thought in a personal relationship before. All he’d been interested in was getting the ones he wanted into bed and the ones he didn’t want out of his life.

Naruto patted his cheek. ‘Don’t look so worried all the time, baby. Especially not today, this is going to be an amazing weekend. And you don’t have to be scared about me going broke for you. If I take you to a fancy restaurant and I can’t afford the bill, I’ve got experience and will be able to sell your ass for a decent price.’ He squeezed Sasuke’s butt.

Sasuke made an embarrassingly shrill squeak of surprise. Sasuke felt himself redden and was filled with a strange desire, that he’d heard other people describe though never quite known it himself, of wanting the floor to open up and swallow. But then Naruto laughed his infectious laugh and they were both giggling like schoolboys. The mood continued as Naruto tried on different clothes and instead of giving him serious fashion advice, Sasuke said silly things to try and make him laugh. Thankfully, Naruto laughed easily. Sasuke was not used to being silly and with anyone else would have simply felt ridiculous, but with Naruto his heart danced and he felt free, however poor his jokes were.

Naruto cheerfully bought one of the shop’s suits. Secretly, Sasuke sent a text to his own private tailor to get Naruto an appointment. That amazing body deserved a fitted suit, not something that was made for an average shape to sell the most units, but that would have to wait for a day when his friend didn’t want to pay for everything.

He let his friend drive, and as the day was going on, Naruto was acting more and more the chivalrous knight, holding doors open for Sasuke, walking on the outside, and asking attentive questions about whether Sasuke wanted anything  to eat or drink. He had even pickpocketed Sasuke’s car keys and run forward to open the passenger side for him. Sasuke was accustomed to his employees running about like worker ants trying to please him, but it was not something that he’d ever wanted or expected from Naruto. But he found himself walking with a bounce in his step that matched his companion’s. There was something…comforting about someone looking after you because they cared about you, rather than because you could fire them at any moment. Not that it was proper looking after, it was just Naruto having fun, more of his teasing, pretending to be the romantic boyfriend out of an old sappy film. Sasuke needed to keep that knowledge in the forefront of his mind, as it would be easy to get lost in his role of grateful, flattered lover and mistake it for something real.

The wedding venue turned out to be only twenty minutes out of the city, even after Naruto’s shopping trip, they arrived before 11am.

‘Wow! Isn’t this amazing?’ Naruto said looking around. 

Sasuke glanced left and right, they were in a car park of a standard country hotel. If it was anyone else, he would assume it was sarcasm, or some sort of hipster irony commenting on the extent of middle class aspirations. But this was Naruto, and he was a hundred percent genuine.

‘Look at all the trees and flowers they’ve planted to make it special right from when you arrive.’

Sasuke looked and saw a typical industrial planting scheme, the cheapest one you could buy from gardening companies to try and create a façade of prettiness around your ugly building. While Sasuke tried, and failed, to put his observations in words that wouldn’t dampen Naruto’s enthusiasm, the other man leapt out of the car like a mad thing and rushed around to open Sasuke’s car door for him.

‘Sir.’ Naruto gave a bow and put his hand out for Sasuke to take.

If he did this to Naruto, he’d expect to be punched for treating the man like an invalid…or maybe he wouldn’t be.  Maybe this is how Naruto thought dates should go? Outside his escorting, he’d admitted several times that all his ideas of real dating came from watching cheesy shows. And Sasuke had told his friend that he was equally ignorant, having no interest in people beyond hook ups. He blushed as he took Naruto’s proffered hand. Was there any chance that Naruto was actually, truly, for real trying to romance him?

Naruto insisted on carrying everything. ‘This is such a great place to be married, isn’t it? If you got married would you choose somewhere like this? Sorry, stupid question, you are soooo not the marrying type. But if you like can pretend you were, you’d choose somewhere awesome and beautiful like this, wouldn’t you? Another stupid question! This place is probably like half the size of your spare house! You could just get married at home and it’d be really sweet and special saying vows in the place that we first met. And the view here is beautiful but at your house you can see…’ Naruto’s voice trailed off as his brain visibly caught up with his voice. Then he blurted out, ‘I mean, yaknow, I didn’t mean, what I just said that might have sounded a tiny bit like I was thinking that you and me would get married because obviously we are never going to get married and I’d never ever think of us getting married, because we are friends, and even if we are the best friends in the world, which we are somehow even though you’re a mean bastard, friends don’t get married in the place that they first met. Or anywhere. Do they? Ever?’

Sasuke was sure that he must be as red faced as his normally tan friend currently was. What would happen if he said, “Yes, friends can get married. He was certain that the only person you should marry was your best friend in the world. And, that personally he would marry Naruto wherever Naruto wanted him to.” But his heart pounded so hard just thinking about it, thinking that Naruto was thinking about it, when they hadn’t even kissed since before that fateful business trip, that he could do nothing but shake his head.

They walked on following the signs to reception with Naruto chatting on as if nothing significant had happened. Sasuke was grateful for that, as his head was spinning and Naruto’s constant voice was a welcome distraction, but also undeniably hurt though he couldn’t justify that feeling on any level.

 ‘You wait here, babes.’ Naruto winked and strode up to the reception to book them in.

Sasuke’s stomach tightened watching the way the receptionist responded to Naruto in the same way the shop assistant had. He knew why they looked down on him, the snap judgements they made due to Naruto’s total lack of pretensions and his open happy manners, that he was a class below them, not someone they had to work at impressing, a holiday maker who would be pleased with everything rather than a weary business person with exacting standards. He stopped himself going over and ensuring Naruto got the service he deserved, he was still too unnerved by the wedding conversation.

But Naruto came back with slumped shoulders. ‘Sorry, Sasuke, she says they can’t check us into our room until 2pm. I should’ve booked our extra night yesterday so we woke up here, instead of tomorrow, I just thought it’d be nice to spend a day lounging about the hotel after partying at the wedding and not having to rush home.’

‘You made a great a choice.’ Sasuke smiled. ‘Out of interest, what time is the actual ceremony?’

‘They’re getting married at 4pm, then there’s going to be photos, then there’s a sit-down meal which is going to be…’

Sasuke let Naruto drone on about all the minutiae of the wedding plans, he decided it was best not to complain about the fact he’d been woken up so early for an afternoon wedding. And when he thought about the fact he got to spend extra time with Naruto, it wasn’t a problem.

Seeing his friend’s excitement, he forgot his resolution of mere minutes ago to not intrude with the hotel and went to the reception. It took only a few words and only one of his less friendly looks for one of their best rooms to be miraculously and suddenly ready for them. When he turned back to Naruto though the man was already talking to someone else, a slim woman who had her back to Sasuke, so the most noticeable feature he saw of hers was glossy blonde hair in a long ponytail. His instinct was to march over and steer Naruto away from her, but this wasn’t like the train trip when Naruto had run around making friends with everyone but Sasuke. Even though Naruto was smiling and laughing as he always did, Sasuke knew his face well enough to notice that his eyes weren’t creased up as they were when he was truly happy, instead they looked a paler shade than normal.

Sasuke approached them slowly and listened to what the woman was saying.

‘It’s so lucky bumping into you like this, Sakura said you’re hard to get hold of on the phone so I was starting to wonder how I’d tell you before the ceremony, whether I’d have to set Sai on guard looking out for you! Sakura wanted to tell you herself, but she’s obviously been so busy with the wedding, so many things to organise, and…’

‘Oh, it’s no problem, none at all, like you say, it’s really lucky seeing you here so that everything is sorted now. I wouldn’t want Sakura to be thinking about it at all on her special day.’

‘Don’t worry, she wasn’t worried, she knew you’d understand.’

‘Yes, I do.’

‘Well, I better be going, there is so much still to do.’

She didn’t move and there was a moments awkward silence.

Sasuke came and stood by Naruto and put an arm around his waist. It had been an instinctive action which he wouldn’t have done if he’d thought about it, but Naruto responded with a little sigh and leaned against him.

The woman was incredibly attractive; Naruto didn’t even seem to notice. Not for the first time, nor he suspected the last, Sasuke cursed his complete idiocy in ever believing that Naruto was in love with and engaged to the pink haired and very female, Sakura. It wasn’t just that Naruto preferred men, it was clear that when he committed to someone he didn’t even look at anyone else. Sasuke almost smirked with the knowledge that his most loyal lover was an escort who wasn’t even his lover.

‘And who are you?’ The woman’s eyes widened in undisguised appreciation.

‘I’m Naruto’s plus one.’

She looked him up and down even more unabashedly. ‘Are you in the same profession because I’d certainly be in the buyer’s market. Are you free tonight?’

Sasuke picked up their luggage and took Naruto with him to find their room.

Naruto continued to chat on, picking out mundane bits of décor and saying how awesome they were, but his spark had unmistakably vanished.

The room was decorated with brown leather and had two purposely blurred prints of rodeo riders. A huge queen-sized bed with a hideous cow-patterned, velvet-covered headboard dominated the room.

‘Hnnn. The staff here are useless, I specified a twin room. I’ll get it changed immediately.’

‘No.’ Naruto caught Sasuke’s arm. Then blushed and let go. He walked over to the bed, sat on the edge and bounced up and down. ‘Let’s fuck.’

‘What?’ Sasuke dropped the luggage to the floor, his heart pounded, his mind filled with images of his and Naruto’s naked bodies entwined together, but he remained standing frozen where he was.

Naruto stared down at his hands, his forefingers were rubbing against each other. ‘That was Ino down in reception. She was, like, surprised to see me here so early, but really relieved as she’s Sakura’s head bridesmaid and part of her job was finding me today and explaining that Sakura’s parents have decided that it’s not right for me to be at the ceremony. Actually, they decided that from the start, but it’s taken them some time to convince Sakura. But I, like, can go to the disco later tonight as that’s more relaxed and there will be lots of people there, so I won’t notice. But, yaknow, I’m sorry for dragging you all this way for a disco. And I have to keep totally out of the way because Sakura’s going to tell Rock Lee I am not at the ceremony because I’m ill as she thinks he’ll get upset with his new in-laws banning me. Ino suggests I just stay in my hotel room.’ He looked up and met Sasuke’s gaze. ‘So, we might as well fuck right as we’re stuck in here with a big bed?’

Sasuke continued to do nothing but stare at Naruto.

‘Although I guess you can do what you want, it’s only me who can’t be seen. Ino will probably be very happy to see more of you. Sai, that’s her kind-of boyfriend, maybe not so much.’ Naruto forced a laugh.

Now Sasuke moved, he was on the bed with his arms wrapped around Naruto holding his head against his chest. ‘You never have to pretend to be happy around me. You know that. I wish the world was a good place for you, you deserve so much better than this.’

‘What being in a hotel with the sexy and elusive trillionaire Uchiha man holding me? I think there are a ton of people who would insist life doesn’t get better than this.’ Naruto chuckled.

‘Idiot. Be true with me. No act.’

Naruto pulled away from Sasuke and sat up straight. ‘It’s not a big deal. So, they don’t want me at their wedding, lots of worse things have happened to me. This is nothing, just, yaknow, a tiny bit of disappointment and embarrassment that I thought I was going to take you out for a great weekend away. Though, I have offered you sex as compensation. Which you’re refusing to comment on. I’m a big boy, I can take a straight no, you don’t have to cushion it in cuddles or clichés about us just being friends.’

Sasuke squeezed Naruto’s hand then took the blonde’s chin in the palm of his hand and turned his head to face him. ‘First, whatever else is going on, you and me making love _is_ a big deal, it’s the biggest deal. And it’s not going to happen because some bitch has made you feel bad about yourself…and no, don’t protest, me calling someone who has upset you a ‘bitch’ is me being incredibly restrained. I don’t know if you’re offering it to me out of old work habits because you think you owe me something in return for me coming here with you. Or because you think it’ll give you a few moments of oblivion and distract you from the hurt you’re feeling. But it doesn’t matter, it’s not happening like that between us. And never in a room designed by someone with fucking cowboy fantasies.’

Naruto glanced at the headboard and this time his laugh was genuine. ‘Don’t we all have fucking cowboy fantasies?’ He laughed harder. ‘And if all you think you can give me is ‘a few moments’ of pleasure, consider my offer withdrawn. It’s not worth getting undressed for that.’

‘I said _oblivion_ , not pleasure, a few moments of oblivion _is_ the equivalent of hours of pleasure.’

‘Is that what you tell all the boys you take to bed?’ But Naruto’s laughter turned to sobs. ‘Sorry. I’m sorry, Sasuke. You’re being so kind trying to cheer me up by making jokes about your sexual uselessness. I shouldn’t be this upset.’

‘You should be upset. Whatever you’re feeling is how you’re meant to be feeling. It can’t be any other way.’ He pulled Naruto against him again.

‘Ino said there’d be lots of children at the ceremony so it wasn’t appropriate I was there. And I was supposed to know what that means and like agree, but I don’t understand. Is it that I’d corrupt them just by being in the same place as them? Because I was a whore? Or is there no past tense, even if I trained to be a rocket scientist, am I always going to be a whore? Or is it just something deep inside me that’s always been wrong with me? Things kids know instinctively, that’s why I never had any friends and everyone avoided me when I was young?’

Sasuke held him tightly. ‘People are stupid. That is generally the answer to all the things that are wrong in the world. And I don’t think even I have the money or means to turn you into a rocket scientist, but if I did, you’re right – people will always judge you and find ways to look down on you anyway they can. All your profession does is give them an easy target. But it also means you have experiences that others don’t, remember when you found all those photos and I told you I was thinking about charity work and…’

‘And I said I wanted to do it with you, but you’ve never mentioned it again.’ Naruto’s gazed up at him, tears still at the edge of his blue eyes but they had some of their normal light back.

‘I didn’t want to speak about it to you until I’d done some more research, but from people I’ve been reaching out to, someone who has been a sex worker and is willing to undergo all the training…’

‘I am! I am! I am!’

‘I know you are.’ Sasuke kissed the centre of Naruto’s forehead. ‘You’ll be trusted and you’ll be able to help others because your life has given you so much empathy and understanding. So be the over-confident man I love and don’t be ashamed of anything you’ve done. I’ve met countless people trading on their sex appeal, you are just upfront and honest and…’ Sasuke’s voice tailed off, Naruto was gazing at him his blue eyes as wide as they’d go and his face looking unbearably young and nervous.

‘What you just said…you’re thinking of us as good friends when you said “be the over confident man I _love”_ …aren’t you?’

Sasuke swallowed. ‘I love you when you are shy and have moments of doubt too. I love you when you blush and rub the back of your head. I love you when you’re asleep. I love you when you’re so full of energy that you bounce rather than walk. I love you when…’

‘But always as a friend, right?’

‘You just offered me sex, Naruto. Because you know how I feel about you?’ Sasuke’s mouth was dry.

‘I offered you sex as a _friend_. Like a fuckbuddy thing. A favour to pass the time.’

‘Oh. Yes. Of course.’

Sasuke stared downwards, Naruto stared upwards.

Naruto coughed a couple of times. ‘At least that’s what I hoped you’d think. When you said that stuff about me wanting sex with you in return for you coming here, I thought I’d gotten away with it. And there might have been a bit about yaknow oblivion and cheering myself up or whatever about it, because as soon as you came and stood beside me when Ino was talking to me, all I wanted to do was rip your clothes off and fuck. Total hot burning lustful fucking. But then you talk about _making love_. I don’t even know what that involves.’

Sasuke’s skin burned, why was that stupid phrase always in his mind when he thought of being with Naruto? Hot, burning, lustful fucking was much more what he wanted.

Naruto kept speaking. ‘But…but…since I got the invite I’ve been thinking of coming here together and how romantic it’ll be to see a wedding and sharing a posh hotel room, and that if I was in charge and paying for everything, it’d like make you forget about you paying for me to be with those pricks, and it’d be a normal date and normal date things might happen. Because I want to be with you, but I don’t know how to be with you. Have we passed the point where it could work out between us like that and I totally missed it? You know I am pretty clueless about these things.’

Sasuke dropped to his knees in front of Naruto and slid his friend’s shoes and socks off. ‘You’ve never been to a wedding before.’

Naruto shook his head though it hadn’t been a question.

He began massaging Naruto’s feet. ‘They’re not romantic, they’re boring. A massive amount of waiting around, having to have the same insignificant conversation with the same insignificant people about how beautiful the bride is, how lucky the groom is, and insipid comments on the weather. The food is always bad, the cake is always too sweet, the speeches sound like they’ve been downloaded off the internet, however, heartfelt they’re supposed to be. Weddings are mass produced, overpriced tedium that have nothing to do with the marriage that will follow or the passion that proceeded. I’m much happier knowing I’ve got hours of time with you alone before the disco tonight. And it means so much to me that you planned for something sexual to happen…’

‘In this hotel room you hate?’ Naruto grinned. He looked down at Sasuke’s hands working over his feet.

Sasuke smiled. ‘Will you let me plan something for us? As that was how it should’ve been if I hadn’t gone…’

‘Apeshit?’

‘Exactly. But with no pressure. As you’ve no doubt noticed I’m hard just from touching your feet but…’

‘As you’ve no doubt noticed I’m hard from you touching my feet.’

‘I have.’ Sasuke licked his lips. ‘But can you wait?’

‘I can wait waaaaay longer than you, I have massive willpower.’ Naruto beamed, but then his face softened and he brushed the hair away from Sasuke’s eyes. ‘I get it. It’s like playing a video game, we tried to take on the Big Boss and we failed because one of us, not mentioning who, but you, went mentally awol and was attacking the wrong thing. So, we reload from a previous save point having learned from our, meaning _your_ , mistakes, and we get it right this time. So, it’ll be like you’ve just come back from your business trip thing, I’m waiting really excited for what my new life is going to be like, and you’re going to plan this amazing thrilling totally and utterly awesome time for our first night together. But until then, you can keep massaging my feet.’

And that is what Sasuke did. He went into the bathroom to find lotion and immediately went and pulled Naruto back in with him; they stood laughing together at the huge print above the toilet of a topless cowboy, or at least a model posing as a cowboy.

‘Hella, you got us booked into the gay honeymoon suite designed by straight people,’ Naruto said.

They laughed some more. Then Sasuke found the free hotel moisturiser, laid Naruto down on the bed and spent a delicious time savouring touching every part of Naruto’s feet. He was rewarded with moans from the man that made him curse his whole speech about taking their time. Why did he want to go slow with Naruto when all he yearned for was the opportunity to make love to him…he bit his lip as if he’d said it aloud. Not make love, fuck hard and long. And the way things had gone, it was a miracle that Naruto wanted him, what the hell was he doing making things more complicated for and giving his friend time to change his mind?

But time in Naruto’s bright company made all his concerns disappear and he just enjoyed the now. They made bases out of the bedding, phoning housekeeping for more pillows and sheets. Then did stupid calls that belonged to teenagers not grown men but they rolled about giggling as if they were the funniest people in the world, Naruto phoned the concierge to ask where the nearest place he could buy glow in the dark extra-large size condoms from was, Sasuke called reception in his most business like tones insisting he wanted to meet the guy in the bathroom print. The model didn’t appear, but some opportunist bellboy earned a huge tip from Sasuke by bringing up medium sized peach flavoured condoms.

They used the condoms for a water balloon fight which both of them claimed to have won. They snuggled up wearing hotel dressing gowns in their bed base, drinking hot chocolate with marshmallows from the room service menu and took turns reading to each other, at one point reading together, making a game of saying alternate words in ridiculous accents.

Sasuke must have fallen asleep, he only knew this because he opened his eyes and the room was dark shadows even though it felt like he’d just been laughing at one of Naruto’s attempts at a cowboy accent a moment ago. His body felt more peaceful and relaxed than it had since that last night kissing Naruto before he left. As his brain became more alert, he realised he was laying directly on top of the other man, all his weight on him. He went to roll off, but Naruto’s grip tightened.

‘I like you where you are,’ he said in a gruff voice that was more animal growl than normal human.

Sasuke’s cock immediately hardened at the uncharacteristic rough possessiveness in his sunshine friend. But he managed to ignore his libido and say, ‘I need to move to get dressed to go to the disco, it must be time by now.’

‘It’s past time. Rock Lee came up to find me I told him we both had a really infectious bad stomach bug so couldn’t come out.’

‘Why did you do that?’

‘You were asleep.’

‘You should have woken me up, idiot! It’s clear how much this wedding meant to you and I was looking forward to meeting your friends.’

‘I wanted to watch you sleep. You’re so different when you’re asleep. Awake I know you are like a fierce warrior in an expensive suit bending the world to your will. But asleep your skin is almost translucent, your features all become delicate and your hands reach out for me, not in a sexual way, but because you need me close. It makes me want to protect you. It doesn’t make me want to take you to a disco where everyone will check you out and be like Ino earlier, wondering if you’re like me, something they can buy with the spare change in their wallets.’ He squeezed his arms around Sasuke’s body. ‘I did want to go to my first wedding, but maybe it was selfish, more for me than Sakura and Rock Lee as much as I love them being together and am happy for them, I wanted to go to a wedding as I thought it’d make me feel like I was a normal person with lots of friends, not the scared lonely kid anymore. But I know in my heart it couldn’t have changed me. I’ll always be the scared lonely kid. Except when I’m with you. You’re my best friend and my boyfriend and you accept me and you’re going to look after me and I’m going to look after you.’ Naruto’s voice retained its rawness.

Sasuke’s heart beat irregularly, his skin was goose pimples but there was sweat on his brow. He had no idea what the correct response was, so he just gave the most honest reply he had in his soul.

‘If I do something so awful again never contact me. I am not a good person like you are, I’ve never felt for anyone like I do for you, I have no idea what I am truly capable of. So even now, being with you and you calling me your boyfriend… I can’t imagine that I ever went through with something so stupid and hurtful and dangerous, I can’t give you any guarantees it won’t happen another time. I have darkness inside me, Naruto. _Don’t_ give me another chance, I don’t even deserve this one. Promise me that. Please.’

‘No,’ Naruto said firmly. ‘There’s something between us that joins us together. I can be strong in many ways, but I am not going to be strong enough to stay away from you. You know that. The fact we are together now proves that, when I was beaten and cut up my body took me back to you. And my heart is making me stay with you. It’s up to you, Sasuke, I trust you, make yourself worthy of that trust.’

‘I will,’ Sasuke said.

They moved their limbs trying to find a way to be physically closer and then they lay together, not needing any other spoken words, but just listening to the endless comfort of hearing each other breathing.

 

 


	17. Chapter 17

Sasuke had always considered himself someone who had worked hard at everything he did. But this new life he had chosen made him question everything he had done up to this point.

Stepping back from the company that had been his inheritance and all that was left of his father’s will on this Earth had been surprisingly easy. He heard his father’s voice shouting in his head at how he’d always been a disappointment, he saw his mother’s sad judgemental expression. But ghost Itachi had appeared in his study more frequently and reassured him how relieved he was that Sasuke was finally selecting his own path not the one he’d been forced into. He’d pressed icy fingers into the centre of Sasuke’s forehead and memories of his parents had vanished.

Sasuke had left most people’s questions unanswered and only bothered to tell a few that he was taking a break to enjoy the money he was so skilled at amassing. Kakashi was the only person he told the truth to, and even then it hadn’t been complete as he hadn’t known what the truth was yet. What the actual truth was, was wading chest deep through the diseased shit of human existence hoping against all probability that at some point it would clear and all the innocent people who’d suffered would feel safe.

It was a living nightmare. And Sasuke knew he should feel guilty about how content he was in the midst of it. Despite how horrendous everything was he had his best friend with him and for the first time in his life he was doing something that felt real.

It was probably wrong how attracted he was to Naruto, but the man was more beautiful than Sasuke had ever seen him, as he listened with patience and understanding to story after story of abuse and more abuse. People with decades of experience praised Naruto, although also reminded him that he mustn’t get attached to individuals, that there always had to be a clear line for the security of everyone involved.  And that was what Sasuke was commended for, his disinterested aura appealed to some who had been previously unreachable, those that could no longer trust kindness, were drawn to the dark eyes that didn’t look at them with pity.

However, generally Sasuke preferred leaving Naruto to do the listening and he dedicated himself to sorting through the mire of paperwork, just getting a child registered into a school that could support them proved much more difficult than making millions on a stock market bet. But this was an area he excelled in, putting pressure in the right places, talking to the correct people, knowing who to bribe and who not to bribe.

Naruto became more political in his chatter, ranting against the governments and companies that exploited and benefitted from conflict and child labour and then labelled the people cockroaches and leaches when they tried to escape from their misery to a new country. Sasuke gently led Naruto away from these conversations, for the moment in their tentative relationship it was probably best that Naruto didn’t think too much about corruption and the type of international company that might be behind it.

However, Naruto was someone who needed to talk. He was particularly affected by a group of children who had been kidnapped and brainwashed into thinking they contained demons and that their sole purpose was to release the anger of their demons in battle and kill whoever their kidnappers told them to. If they failed they were made to believe their demons’ bloodlust would turn on them and destroy their home villages.

‘It’s an extreme, but it’s not an extreme,’ Naruto said, ‘There’s got to be more we can do to help, Sasuke.’

Sasuke was on the verge of an often repeated speech about the limits of even a super energy charged individual like Naruto, when he changed his mind. On the surface he might be doing a lot of good work, but he was still who he was.

He realised Naruto’s new concern gave him the perfect opportunity to force an issue that he’d been trying to suggest for a while, that Naruto and he should have a few months off to recoup and recover.

“These people don’t get time off from the trauma they’ve been through, why should we need time off just because we listen to them for a few hours a day!” was Naruto’s standard and inarguable reply. Even though a few hours, especially in Naruto’s case, could mean his every waking moment.

But if Naruto was interested specifically in the horrors of child soldiers, then perhaps they should increase their education and training, which would mean going home for a sizeable time. And if by some oversight due entierly to how busy Sasuke had been finishing off forms for all the people they were helping, he’d somehow made a strange mistake and got the dates wrong on all the courses so they went home earlier than they needed to, with nothing to do but be with each other, then that was just a little mishap that Naruto fully understood and didn’t bother mentioning again.

They stayed in the country house and Sasuke somehow managed to get Naruto to agree that it would be total down time. They looked after their tomato plants, read to each other, Sasuke cooked and Naruto ate. If the weather wasn’t cold they lay out on the roof and watched fluffy clouds be replaced by far off stars. They played ‘Chopsticks’ together on the piano and Sasuke taught him some new tunes. They made forts, and chased each other around playing a mad game that might originally have been hide and seek.

But one significant thing had changed since they became boyfriends all those months and months ago, they now very rarely touched and Naruto had stopped all the flirting and teasing he used to do as naturally as other people said hello and asked after your health.

At the beginning it had been necessary, they wanted each other so much, or at least Sasuke hoped that it was a two way thing, he couldn’t look at Naruto for more than a minute without getting hard. But they’d also agreed that their first time having actual sex needed to be special, not rough humping on the floor because Sasuke couldn’t resist how good Naruto’s ass looked in jeans a moment longer.

Then Naruto had got seriously involved in wanting to help people. He was so intense and dedicated, bringing textbooks to bed, reading human rights abuses out to Sasuke over breakfast, cataloguing all the bad things that had happened to good people that day when Sasuke came home from work. If there was a way to break through Naruto’s anger, or even worse his tears, as he contemplated all the hurt in the world, and casually suggest that this weekend should be the weekend they finally fuck, Sasuke had no idea what it was. In his experience, if people didn’t do what he wanted he got bored and got rid of them without a second thought. But even that had happened so rarely because he was skilled at choosing people to share his bed with that would do anything to please him.

He realised that his first real relationship, his first true friendship, actually needed someone with experience to make it work. It was like putting someone who’d sold a few things on eBay in charge of a Global marketing campaign. He wasn’t even sure if it was a benefit or a problem that most of Naruto’s knowledge of romantic relationships came off sickly afternoon telly films. In truth, he was relieved that Naruto was as uninformed as him, or surely he would have been dumped long ago for his ineptitude to seduce the sexy blonde who slept in his bed every night. But maybe it’d have helped if one of them knew how these things were supposed to work in the real world.

Trying to cover his ignorance, he researched being a good boyfriend, secretly reading books that used phrases like ‘emotional availability’, trailed through internet advice sites and even got involved in a gay chatroom about having sex for the first time with a new partner. Until late one night with Naruto curled up snoring on his bean bag waiting for Sasuke to finish his ’work’, the person who he’d connected with online, the person who had talked the most sense about the importance and strength of friendship and how that had to be the basis of everything, the person who had even confided in Sasuke about having a domineering and violent father, commented that he had to go as he now only had a couple of hours to do his homework before school started.

Sasuke had desperately typed ‘School as in college?’

But no it had been school as in school. He had learnt so many intimate details about Gaaralove’s family situation, but somehow missed the obvious-after-the-fact clues that Gaaralove was a fourteen year old schoolkid who assumed by the questions that Sasuke was asking that Sasuke was the same age negotiating his first experience of love.

The worst thing was that Gaaralove’s advice had sounded so sensible and wise and better than anything Sasuke was coming up with on his own.

No the worst thing had been confessing it to Naruto, as he _really_ couldn’t risk there being any misunderstanding (beyond the fact that it all was a horrible humiliating misunderstanding) between them about Sasuke staying up while Naruto slept, so he could talk to a teenager about his love life. Naruto had been creased up frowns, then non-stop laughter, then wide eyed and somehow even more physically tentative around Sasuke. If their fingers touched reaching for something Naruto jumped away as if he’d been burnt. Which was understandable as Sasuke had more or less confessed to him he was at the relationship level of a virgin teenage boy. It didn’t exactly instil confidence.

Then time passed and they had begun travelling and working together in areas that didn’t lead anywhere close to romance. The strange thing was that Sasuke felt closer and closer to Naruto. He glowed every time he could refer to him as his boyfriend, he felt a peace and contentment having Naruto at his side that he’d never even known was possible. And he could share things with Naruto, wanted to tell him things that he never believed he’d tell anyone. Small things about his day, a bright flower growing in the crack in the pavement that had made him smile, and the worst biggest thing of all that made him weep through the night as Naruto held him.

In the early days of them declaring they were boyfriends he’d told Naruto the truth.

‘There’s something you need to know about me. I killed Itachi,’ he’d said.

Naruto hadn’t even flinched. ‘Well, that explains why he’s haunting you.’

And Naruto put his arms around Sasuke and listened all through Sasuke’s choking sobs as he explained the tragedy of his family. He knew most of what he said couldn’t make sense as he spluttered it all out in the wrong order, spending ages talking about the days where he was driven by nothing but vengeance and the desire to be strong enough to kill his older brother, before he even mentioned the fact that the car accident that his parents died in hadn’t been an accident. But Naruto listened to everything without question. Sasuke didn’t understand a lot of what he said himself, it was the first and only time he’d heard it all spoken aloud and within the pain, there was something unbearably  abstract about listening to himself trying to explain everything. Did any of it actually make sense to anyone outside the Uchiha family? Did any of it even make sense to him all these years later? He repeated again and again how Itachi had killed their parents to protect him and it sounded odder and more bizarre each time.

‘Itachi thought I was going to be pulled into a bad place by them, so he had to kill them to save me. But he couldn’t tell me that as I needed to think he was evil rather than my parents as that…that kept me safe and strong. It was better to have a single focus for my hate, one mad psychopath than to have my whole world pulled apart. It was important that I still loved and trusted and believed in my parents you see? So I wouldn’t get totally broken by everything that was happening.’

There couldn’t be many relationships that were like his and Naruto’s, even less where one partner told the other, ‘My father was planning to overthrow the government of this country and take control himself. I don’t even know why. We had lots of money, and that meant lots of power. Why did he want to be in charge of some tiny debt ridden rathole in the middle of nowhere? He risked all his family, everyone he was supposed to love, just because he liked the idea of being a ruler. Who does that?’

‘People often don’t even know their own motives, Sasuke, it’s useless trying to guess, but you know as well as I do that some people can never have enough power or money or lovers to make them feel content.’

Sasuke paused wondering if Naruto was talking about him, but his boyfriend gazed at him with patient and caring blue eyes waiting for him to continue.

‘The plan for the coup was complicated. But he pretended to be a friend to the President while all the time he’d been plotting. There were lots of strands but the one that got him caught was how through lots of fake companies that were dozens of times removed from him and supposed to be untraceable, he’d been trading defective weapons to them. Itachi realised that my father was actually being set up when my father thought he was on the brink of making his dream come true.’ In his head his words had sounded bitter, when he spoke them he sounded like a lost and lonely weeping child.

Naruto stroked his hair and held him against his chest until he was ready to continue.

 ‘And Itachi knew that our father wouldn’t just be executed, he’d be tortured, and part of that would be making him watch his family suffer. So my brother arranged a simple death for them before it happened, with the understanding that because I was young and ignorant of everything, there’d be no further reprisals.’

Naruto listened calmly, through all that. And then the traumatic explanation of how he’d murdered Itachi when he was fifteen.

‘It was red, everything was red. People speak of seeing a red mist when they get angry, for me it was a bleeding red blackness and I was lost in it for years. I had a family ceremonial katana, a traditional thing, I’d trained especially in it, planned it all out as I thought it was appropriate. And Itachi…when I came for him…when I cut him up…he was strong…he was still alive. And to the last moment he made me think he _was_ the psychotic killer and I was the sane and justified one. He threw himself out of the window before I landed the final blow, saying he was denying me the triumph of ever getting my revenge and I hated him even more. All I was was hate.’

Naruto squeezed him tightly.

‘He let me kill him because he couldn’t see any other way out. He didn’t want me to feel guilty. He wanted me to always love my parents and feel safe within my family. And it was all so fucked up. Why couldn’t he be honest with me, Naruto? Why couldn’t he have trusted me? I wouldn’t even have known anything else, I would have hated him forever if it hadn’t been for Suigetsu. I told him to find out everything about my family before I took over the business. And he did. Even Itachi hadn’t foreseen that Suigetsu would become so good at finding out everyone’s secrets, even those of the great Uchiha clan. Itachi killed my parents and himself just to protect me. He couldn’t even bear to hurt me in self-defence. He threw himself out of a window, squished his body to pulp on the pavement to make it easier for Kakashi to cover up the evidence of my murderous attack! What can I do with that knowledge, Naruto? What does it all mean? That he did all that for me? And it was the worst and best thing that anyone could ever do for me. And I can never change it, I can never make it better.’

‘I think we’ve uncovered the reason behind your fear of loving someone.’ Naruto smiled the saddest smile and held Sasuke with tight protectiveness.

‘Is it possible to love someone too much?’ Sasuke whispered.

‘No. But it is possible for love to make you crazy without you realising you’ve gone crazy.’ Naruto nuzzled his cheek against Sasuke’s hair. ‘We’re extreme people, Sasuke, we need to care for each other extra well.’

Sasuke blinked back more tears. ‘I shouldn’t be with someone as beautiful as you.’

‘I am exactly who you should be with. We understand each other.’

‘You’re not a murderer.’

‘Neither are you. You’re not that teenage kid filled with nothing but hate any more than I am.’ He kissed Sasuke’s forehead. ‘But I know how easily I could be that person. I accept my pain and make friends with it because it’s part of me, but if a few things had turned out differently the anger inside me could’ve won. We’re together now, baby, you don’t have to be scared of yourself, you’re not alone and never will be again.’

They kissed and kissed. And that could easily have been the first time that they had sex. The intensity between them translated to hard passionate kisses, hands grabbing at whatever they could find. But Sasuke somewhere deep inside possessed the composure left to stop it.  He wasn’t going to have sex with bright blue eyed smiling Naruto off the back of confessing how rotten his soul truly was.

But maybe he should have. It was three years since he first booked a date with Naruto and in one way the only progression had been he’d moved from paying an escort he didn’t have sex with to living with a boyfriend he didn’t have sex with. There were many problems in the world he could do nothing about, but this was one thing he could sort out and he would.

The first attempt was a pirate ship. A real pirate ship moored in a beautiful bay and theirs to use and play around all weekend. Naruto had enjoyed chasing each other about, the weather was hot enough that they soon stripped down to nothing but the miniscule swimming trunks Sasuke had purchased for both of them especially for this occasion. They’d dived off the side holding hands and happily worn each other out with swimming races. They lay on deck, Naruto’s head on Sasuke’s chest as Sasuke read him their favourite parts from _Peter Pan_. But as the stars came out and Sasuke readied himself to run his hands down Naruto’s back and inside his trunks, Naruto had suddenly got scared about pirate ghosts and wittered on about the phantom ship in _Pirates of the Caribbean_ as if it was a documentary and not a vapid kids’ film. And then Sasuke had lost his temper and shouted things he shouldn’t have, leaving Naruto storming about the boat trying to work up the courage to jump into the dark ghost filled water just to get away from Sasuke. It had taken an incredible amount of work just to get Naruto to lie in his arms again, the prospect of anything else was ruined.

The second attempt was a tropical island which started with a very happy excited Naruto rolling about on the white beach making rows of sand angels and ended very quickly when the idiot immediately forgot which fruit he was allowed to eat and which he had to completely avoid. An ill Naruto alternating between vomiting and diarrhoea miles from any medical attention other than Sasuke telling him to drink more of the bottled water, wasn’t in conventional terms a very romantically minded Naruto. Though they did manage to make up from the huge argument they had, where Naruto shouted at Sasuke for telling him the wrong information and Sasuke, instead of letting it pass as his boyfriend was obviously suffering, (where was internet access to Gaaralove and his patient advice when an emotionally stunted adult needed it?), yelled back at him that it was Naruto who was too stupid and greedy to remember something correctly for more than ten seconds. Later they laughed about how Naruto managed to projectile vomit in the middle of a sentence and as soon as he finished continue straight away arguing with Sasuke. At the time, Sasuke had in truth been completely devastated. Why hadn’t he just told Naruto to eat nothing unless Sasuke was feeding it to him? That could’ve been sweet and sensual, but instead they were fighting even as Naruto was clutching his stomach in pain.

The third attempt was a tree house in a dense forest that they’d both loved. The hike up to it had been beautiful, Naruto had talked and talked and Sasuke had happily listened. Sasuke hadn’t even been sure how that one had gone wrong. Naruto boasted he could climb trees faster than Sasuke, Sasuke said he couldn’t. Just their usual banter. But then instead of relaxing and cuddling together in the tree house they’d had tree climbing competitions that had got too competitive with them throwing the most bizarre insults at each other and insisting that they had won when really they were equally matched and there was nothing between them. When they finally settled into the tree house they just continued bitching about who was better at climbing trees as if it was the most important thing in the world and with a ferocity that meant they hiked back the next day in silence even though Sasuke had been planning to spend the week camped out here together.

The fourth and fifth attempts had both been city hotel breaks which had been a mess of bickering about where to eat, what sights to see, Naruto complaining they were lost when Sasuke knew exactly where they were. And Naruto who could got excited at the most mundane things, moaned that absolutely everything Sasuke had chosen was boring and refused to even order anything in the exclusive rooftop ramen restaurant that Sasuke had been so proud of getting a booking for, certain it would be the highlight of Naruto’s trip. Well, hopefully the highlight outside the bedroom. But the reality was that more happened between them in the hideous cowboy room at Sakura’s wedding than it did in Sasuke’s so carefully selected places.

Sasuke thought about all these things and not the report that he was supposed to be reading. A distance from the business had not reinvigorated him with passion for the work that had once been the centre of his life, but had left him barely able to read through a basic shareholder’s statement without his mind drifting away. The fact he wasn’t even in his study, but sitting on the sofa with Naruto was a sign that he’d never intended to give it his attention, he was just going through the motions, he vaguely wondered if he should sell up all his interest in the firm rather than hold out that he was going to return one day. His father’s stern face appeared in his mind. He blinked it away and tried to focus properly on reading the report.

Within a minute, he’d moved the paper so that he could stare past it at where Naruto’s bare feet rested in his lap. Although none of the trips away had worked out how he wanted, they had somehow become more physically relaxed about touching each other again, as if despite the failures, going away together had somehow cemented them as boyfriends. Sasuke put the report to the side and sighed. Would he ever understand how relationships worked? Not even relationships in general, all he cared about, all he needed to know, was how him and Naruto worked.

‘Sorry, sugarplums, did I disturb you? Was I laughing?’ Naruto looked up from the _Adventure Time_ comic he was reading. ‘I can be quiet or go somewhere else if you want?’

They spent so much time together but Sasuke’s chest still ached at the thought of not being in the same room as Naruto. He didn’t say that though, instead he snapped, ‘I am not answering, and will never answer, to _sugarplums_.’

Naruto blew a raspberry. ‘Haha! You just did!’

‘To stop you calling me it again.’

‘Whatever you want, glitterdick.’

‘Glitterdick? What does that even mean?’

‘I don’t know. you tell me.’ Naruto shrugged. ‘It’s your name.’

Sasuke gave Naruto one of the stares that had made his employees visibly shake, but had never had any effect on the infuriating yellow-head. ‘My name is…’

‘Mr Uchiha.’ In a swift movement Naruto dropped to his knees and pretended to grovel at Sasuke’s feet. ‘Oh thank you so much kind gentle sir for allowing me to be in your presence. You are so wonderful and amazing I will only ever address you in your preferred manner in future. Please, please, be gracious enough to forgive my rudeness. I just get so nervous in front of your unbelievable handsomeness that I say totally the wrong thing. If I call you Sweetnuts instead of Mr. Uchiha just understand it is because of my shyness at being so close to your perfection.’

Naruto could barely contain his own giggles at his mockery of Sasuke, but looking down at Naruto something flashed through Sasuke’s mind. Maybe it was the fact that Naruto was wearing one of his favourite bright orange jumpsuits, and the chocolate bits from the cake he’d eaten a minute ago were smeared over his hands, that made Sasuke remember the first time they’d met. What a mess Naruto had looked then, covered in oil not cake, but more or less the same, and that teasing, cocky smile was an exact match for when they first met. And Sasuke knew with certainty what he needed to do.

‘You can call me your boss.’ Sasuke pulled all the cash out of his wallet, rolled it up and put it in Naruto’s front pocket. ‘I don’t know what that buys me but you’ll give me more.’

Still on his knees, Naruto was both grinning and frowning. ‘You want to be my boss? Are you joking because you look and sound serious? Though I admit it’s hard to tell with that poker face of yours, but um, honeybuns, what exactly are you paying me for?’

‘Sex.’

Now Naruto just frowned.

‘Do you remember when you said you were giving me a rewind so we could get things right this time?’

‘Yeah, like, for example you not seeing me as a whore whose ass you can sell to whoever you want?’

Sasuke leaned forward and put his hands on Naruto’s shoulders. ‘Don’t you see? We didn’t rewind enough. We said we’d go back to when I left for the business trip, but we needed to go back to when we first met.  I started fucking things up right from the start… by not fucking you, acting like I was too good to pay for sex. You just reminded me of it, what you said at the time, when you laughed so much at the idea I wouldn’t pay you for sex, and you made that bet that I’d give in first and pay you before you’d fuck me for free.’ He got down on his knees beside the confused looking blonde. ‘I’m telling you that you win, Naruto, I want you so much and I’ve always wanted you so much that I’ll give you anything you desire now and in all our future together just to have the blessing of being close to you.’

Naruto’s fingers tentatively ran over where Sasuke had put the money. ‘I like the sound of me winning…but…but…I don’t think I’m getting it. Are you saying for real you’re buying my ass now? No romantic getaway?’

‘Hell, I want that so much for you and you want it for me, but it’s not working, and I don’t think it’s ever going to work.  You got excited yesterday because there was a limited edition noodle cup in the supermarket…’

‘It was extra spicy tomato barbeque, Sasuke! Extra spicy tomato barbeque! Who wouldn’t get excited by that?’

‘You like tomato plants not actual tomatoes, but you were a hyper toddler trying to get the poor assistant to get more out of stock because there weren’t enough on the shelf for…

‘It was limited edition, I mean you might never be able to buy it again, how long were seven going to last me…’

‘Even I would have thought longer than a day. And I know you drank three pints of milk last night just to have an excuse to drive to the shop again this morning and see if they had more…’

‘I was really thirsty. You’re soooooo suspicious. It’s not a cute quality, baby.’

‘So say, I went into the kitchen now, and I happened to open a cupboard totally at random, I wouldn’t find all my packets of black and red rice thrown in the bin and replaced with your ramen?’

‘I didn’t throw it in the bin, I don’t waste good food, not that your food is good, and…’

Sasuke smirked and put a hand under Naruto’s chin. ‘What we’re doing now is proving my point. It’s a milder version of what we do when we go away. Do you see now?’

Naruto shook his head.

‘I don’t know how to make it as clear to you as it is to me. But I think it’s been so long and so much pressure has built up that we’ve become too nervous about having sex and we distract away from actually doing it anyway we can.’

Naruto shook his head again.

‘What I was trying to say was comparing how excited you got by a new flavour of crappy ramen, but sulked when I took you to one of the best ramen restaurants in the world.’

Naruto rubbed the back of his head. ‘Yeah, I’m sorry, I don’t know why I was being such a selfish brat that day. I really regretted it later, you’d planned all this amazing stuff and…’

‘That’s what I am explaining, Idiot, listen to me. Even here and now where we’re comfortable, I mention having sex with you and if I’d let that conversation continue we’d be yelling at each other within five minutes about ramen and rice. One or both of us creates an argument because we get so tense at the idea of finally being together. It’s worse when we’re away because it just increases the pressure that it has to be this great amazing thing as we’ve waited so long for it and I’ve spent ages organising somewhere to take you for it to be even more special…we need to go back to the beginning and just be two guys meeting for the express purpose of fucking. We both know how to do that a lot better than we know how to do romance. Then afterwards, well, let’s just have sex and see what happens.’

For a painfully long time Naruto said nothing and just stared up at the ceiling. Finally he spoke in a quiet voice.

‘There might be something in what you say. This is the happiest I’ve been in my life. I’ve got friends, I’m doing things to help people, yaknow, way beyond just sucking  some lonely rich guys off, and I’ve somehow got you. I’m scared of it changing.’

‘Me too.‘ Sasuke squeezed Naruto’s hand. ‘But if things don’t change we’ll never fully explore this attraction between us, and that is the truly special thing. I don’t want that to slip away from us just because we are frightened.’

‘You’re right.’ Naruto chuckled. ‘It’s stupid the crazy mad things I’ve done without a seconds pause, but my heart is going mad at the thought of you and me together. Are you sure you want to do this now? Maybe we can build up to it over a couple more years?’

‘When did you last have sex?’ The question sounded blunter than he meant it.

But Naruto responded in an open manner. ‘Not since I got beat up bad by Kaguya. What about you? No judgement, yaknow, just curious if you’ve had a few hook ups when you’re out doing your business things or whatever.’

Sasuke shook his head. ‘I’ve been celibate for even longer than you. My whole sex drive switched off a long time ago for everyone but you. For you though, I would do anything and give everything.’ He ran his hand up Naruto’s thigh.

Naruto caught his hand with a grin and returned it to Sasuke’s lap. ‘Don’t get ahead of yourself, Pretty Boy. Let me count how much you’ve given me before you start taking liberties that your cash hasn’t covered.’

Naruto made a show of licking his finger and counting every note, then starting again and rechecking it.

Sasuke watched him with his hands on his own knees. His cock twitched in anticipation, but his mind panicked about what he had set in motion on just a spur of a moment hunch.

Naruto, however, had switched from confusion to complete calmness.

‘Before anything starts I’ll inform you of my limits so there are no misunderstandings.’ Naruto took an extra-long time pronouncing ‘misunderstandings’ and they smiled at each other. ‘As this is our first meeting it’ll be strictly vanilla, that means you get oral and anal. I will bottom or top as to your preference. But there is no bondage, no spanking, no prolonged role play, no dressing up, no kinks of any nature until we’ve built up trust. No always means no. Stop always means stop. And to be clear that is a two way thing if at any time you’re not comfortable let me know immediately, it’s important to me that you always feel in control of everything that’s happening. Don’t be shy about anything, we’re going to get naked together so we shouldn’t proceed if you’re not totally relaxed with me. If you have any questions or you’re not sure if your own particular fetish classes as a kink, now’s the time to ask.’

Sasuke couldn’t help laughing. ‘I didn’t know you could sound so professional. I could’ve made a businessman out of you if I’d realised.’

‘Thank you for the offer, Mr. Uchiha, but I am perfectly happy in my current profession. I repeat do you have any questions or are you ready to go to the bedroom with me?’

‘I do have a fetish I need to ask you about.’ Sasuke massaged his hands over each other. ‘I’ve noticed you have beautiful feet and I’d like to spend a long time, a very long time, kissing and caressing them.’

Naruto’s cheeks coloured, but his voice remained steady. ‘That is acceptable and can definitely be part of our foreplay.’

‘And our afterplay, and more foreplay. I am desperate for you, so the first time I might just ram into you and pound you hard and fast as I won’t be able to contain myself. But then I want to fuck you again, taking my time and appreciating every part of your body.’

‘Subsequent couplings may incur extra charges and cannot be assumed to be part of the service you’ve ordered from me today.’

Sasuke took Naruto’s hand and sucked on his thumb where it was stained with chocolate. ‘Before any _coupling_ I think you need a shower to clean up, you seem to be a bit dirty. Will that incur any extra charges?’

Naruto looked down on the bits of chocolate over him and for a moment looked like he was going to break character and give one of his spiels about how he wasn’t a messy eater it was the food that was too squishy in his hands. But then he regained his composure and said with a small smile. ‘As it is me who is at fault for not arriving in a state that meets your standards, there’ll of course be no extra charges for me having a shower. But if you plan to watch me then…’

‘I won’t just be watching.’ Sasuke stood up and offered Naruto a hand.

‘Then we will have to work out what you owe me based on the activities you get involved in.’ Naruto took Sasuke’s hand.

Sasuke’s body tingled at the warmth of the other’s man skin against his as if it truly was the first time they’d touched. He was fully hard just from talking to Naruto and as he led Naruto up to the same shower they’d used on that first day, Sasuke smiled with anticipation of both getting his man naked and Naruto seeing how much Sasuke wanted him.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi lovely readers! This was initially planned as part of the previous chapter but I thought it deserved a space all to itself. Be warned before you proceed that there is sexual content between two crazy hot men! I hope you enjoy :)

Naruto pulled his clothes off in the matter of fact way he had that turned Sasuke on more than the most elaborate striptease could. Though right now Naruto could just flash him a bit of ankle and he’d be wanting to hump the other man’s leg like a demented dog. It was with incredible effort he remained pressed against the bathroom wall away from his boyfriend.

‘How do you keep so toned when you never exercise and basically eat sugar for breakfast?’ He was trying to tease, but his voice was filled with lust.

Naruto responded like Naruto rather than in his role as professional escort. In his fox-in-heat singing voice he howled out:

Ahhhh Girl look at that body  
I-I-I work out  
Ahhhh Girl look at that body  
I-I-I work out

  
  
He turned around as he sang, rolling his hips in a perfect rhythm that defied understanding how such control could be matched with a voice that ignored all rules of beat and tempo.

Sasuke seriously wondered if it was possible for him as a grown sexually experienced man to come just by looking at someone.

‘How are you so tanned _everywhere_?’

Naruto kept dancing and doing his version of singing. He worked some alternating one handed clap press ups into his routine and twerking so fast that it didn’t look humanly possible.

Sasuke was almost crying with the lust and the willpower it took not to immediately fuck his boyfriend, but now they’d made this decision he wanted to savour it. There was a perverse pain in forcing himself to wait knowing that this time, after such a long, long time, Naruto and him were definitely going to be together.

But then a different sort of sadness hit him hard in the gut. His eyes had been automatically focused on the curves of Naruto’s buttocks, the muscles of his arms and legs, the pinkness of his nipples against his sun-brown skin, that his brain had somehow missed the most obvious sexual part of his man’s body. Despite always knowing that he preferred males to females, Sasuke had never been that attracted to cocks, which was why he hadn’t noticed before. No, he needed to be honest, that was how things went wrong, when he deceived himself. He hadn’t looked at Naruto’s groin because he had a deep, and well-founded it seemed, insecurity that Naruto wasn’t actually sexually attracted to him.  His beautiful yellowhead saw him as a best friend, would rather be in his company than anyone else’s, enjoyed playing around with him, adored the life they’d built together, appreciated the money with the security and freedom it provided, but didn’t actually want sex with him.

‘You’re not hard,’ Sasuke stated. He undid his belt and undressed himself, revealing his own erection. He ran a hand over his cock. ‘I’m dripping with pre-cum just looking at you and you’re not even hard.’

Naruto stopped dancing and looked at Sasuke with an unreadable expression. ‘My pleasure is secondary to yours, but if you enjoy seeing me turned on I can meet that desire.’ He wanked with his wrist motionless and his hand moving with incredible speed.

‘Are you actually attracted to me?’ Sasuke’s voice cracked. He despised how weak he sounded, but the emotions were too much, the disappointment mixed with the almost overwhelming lust that was trying to persuade Sasuke that it didn’t matter if Naruto wanted him or not, just that Naruto was willing to let Sasuke fuck him.

‘You know you are an incredibly attractive man, Mr Uchiha.’ Naruto gazed directly at Sasuke with those big blue eyes as he continued to masturbate.

‘Stop that. I am so hot for you, but I don’t want it like that. I need it to be real between us. Is it real?’ Sasuke took the few paces to reach him and put his own hand over Naruto’s to prevent him moving, his long fingers grazed against the delicate skin of Naruto’s sex.

‘That’ll do it,’ Naruto said in a husky voice gazing down at where Sasuke had inadvertently touched him. His cock had gone instantly from semi to rock hard. ‘Does that answer your question, sugar?’

With parted lips Sasuke peeled Naruto’s hand away, and gently explored his lover’s erection, stroking his fingers around the thickness and length in discovery rather than with a direct aim to arouse his boyfriend, but Naruto gave loud and rewarding moans of pleasure. He shut his eyes and leaned backwards against the wall, although Sasuke’s fingers were tentative and soft in sharp contrast to how he’d been moments before pleasuring himself.

Sasuke put his mouth by Naruto’s ear, allowing his body to fully absorb the sensation of his naked skin pressed against his boyfriend’s before he spoke. ‘Tell me what to do to give you the most intense orgasm.’

‘You’re paying me, I’m here to give you satisfaction,’ Naruto replied. ‘That is my sole purpose.’

He put his hands on either side of Naruto’s head and stood so their noses almost touched. ‘I’m paying you to be obedient. Answer my question.’

Naruto tilted his head so their foreheads touched. ‘Sasuke, doing it like this is helping me to relax lots, yaknow, because it’s what I’m familiar with and I feel confident and sexy. But it’s also hella scary because it makes me realise how different it is with you and I feel proper terrified. Even outside the stuff I was paid for, I’ve never been with anyone who makes me feel like you do, and it’s stupid but it makes me feel more vulnerable than anything else ever has.’

Sasuke stroked his hands down Naruto’s arms. ‘It’s not stupid. We both know what I’m capable of, what I’ve done. I’m not deluded enough to think that that doesn’t leave scars. In my heart I know how important it is that neither of us forgets it, because I never want that hate to get close to controlling me. Remembering who I have been is part of the protection in preventing me becoming that person again.’

‘It’s not that. It’s not just that. With the stuff I was paid for, which is basically my whole sex life for ages and ages, you know that there were a few experiences in there that weren’t as great as other experiences and…and maybe, some of the stuff we learned about working with the people we’ve been working with…well, maybe some of it applies to me.’ Naruto banged his head back against the wall with a groan of frustration.  ‘Way to go me for breaking the mood and ruining it between us _again_.’

Sasuke took Naruto’s hands within his. ‘Nothing is ruined or broken for me.’ He raised Naruto’s hands to his mouth and kissed his fingers one by one. ‘I love you so much. I love all the contradictions and complexities of who you are. I love that you can be, what I am going to kindly call, _singing_ about being the sexiest man on the planet one minute, and the next minute trusting me with the honesty of your heart. It makes me want you even more.’

Naruto’s eyes still had an uncharacteristic sadness but he grinned his usual grin. ‘So, Uchiha, you’re basically saying you’re just a randy horndog who is so desperate for a piece of my unbelievably tight ass that anything I say or do turns you on?’

Sasuke smirked and raised an eyebrow.  ‘Yes, Naruto, that is exactly what I was trying to convey to you. I’m grateful to you for putting it much better than I ever could.’

‘No problem. We both know who the smart one in our partnership is. Come on.’ Naruto took his hand and led him into the shower. ‘Thanks and all for licking my fingers clean, but I don’t know what will happen if you try licking the chocolate off the rest of me. With you only used to eating birdseed, it might give you a sugar high you’ll never recover from.’

Naruto turned the shower on and for a while that was enough. More than enough. The hot water running down their bodies, the steam building up around them, the citrus scent of the shower gel filling the air.

But then it wasn’t nearly enough. Having got this far, Sasuke was not going to let this turn into yet another occasion when they’d got close, but still not satiated each other’s desires.

He dropped to his knees and put his lips around Naruto’s cock. The angle was slightly wrong, it had been a long time since he’d done this, but the feeling of Naruto’s thickness inside his mouth overcame any awkwardness or nerves. He bobbed his head up and down, growing in the certainty of how right this was with every suck. He spread his fingers through the yellow curls and reached his other hand around putting pressure on the sensitive area between the crevice of Naruto’s buttocks. Beneath the manufactured scent of the shower gel, Sasuke smelt and tasted the real scent of his man: impossible to describe or compare it to anything else, but it made Sasuke remember wrapping himself in the dressing gown that Naruto had worn on their first meeting, that sensation of being surrounded by something that was both wild animal and impossibly sweet.

‘Nononoooo.’ Naruto moaned.

Sasuke stopped and looked up at his boyfriend, but it was Naruto who moved the hair away from Sasuke’s eyes so that they could gaze clearly at each other. Naruto’s cheeks were flushed and the normal innocent blue of his eyes and changed into a lustful black as his pupils were so enlarged.

‘You said no means no, what does nononoooo mean?’ It was a serious question but they both smiled at how ridiculous Sasuke sounded copying Naruto’s lustful cry.

‘It means, having you on your knees with your beautiful mouth sucking me off is too good, and I am going to come soon, and it’s been so long since I came with anyone else, or, yaknow, at all, that I want to shoot what’s going to be a massive load all over your pretty pristine chest while I am riding you.’

If Naruto hadn’t mentioned his ‘massive load’, Sasuke might have been all right, but he couldn’t resist, he’d used up all his reserves of willpower. He put his mouth back around Naruto and worked extra hard, licking around the sensitive head as he pushed up and down with his lips.

‘You are such a bastard,’ Naruto breathed as he clamped his hands on the back of Sasuke’s head and thrust hard into him. ‘I hate you so fucking much.’

The firmness of Naruto holding him in place and pumping into him, was something that Sasuke had never experienced before. He’d done it to other people plenty of times, but had never dreamed he’d let anyone do it to him. Gazing up at the ecstasy on Naruto’s face, he was amazed as if it was an entirely new feeling how much he trusted and loved this person.

‘I’m coming.’ Naruto released his hold on Sasuke and pushed his hands back against the shower wall.

Sasuke took as much of Naruto’s cock in his mouth as he could, the explosion into the back of his throat was one of the most erotic things that had ever happened to him. He knew he’d tasted Naruto’s come before on that glorious day on the beach so many long months ago, and he was certain that he remembered every detail of that time as he’d thought on it so often since, but the flood of hot spunk that he greedily gulped down now was delicious beyond anything he could have ever imagined.

The moment seemed to exist outside of time and last for a beautiful eternity. But then Naruto had a hand on his shoulder and was gently but firmly pushing him away as he himself slid exhausted down the side of the bathroom wall.

They stayed like that for a while, Sasuke kneeling between Naruto splayed legs, both of them smiling at each other as the water ran over their bodies.

‘When I said I hated you, you know I meant it, right? It wasn’t code for me like having the opposite feeling for you, understood? I’m like going to have to wait at least another decade before having sex to save my junk up now so I can totally and utterly cover your smug face in my spunk.’ Naruto chuckled. ‘You’re so _you_ , all what do you want, baby, all I’ll do anything to please you, baby, and then when I tell you, you just do what you want anyway. Like when you ask me what I want for breakfast and then you give me a plate of fricking cardboard which you insist is food when it’s obviously cardboard, instead of twenty donuts in twenty different flavours.’

‘I couldn’t resist. Sorry.’ He picked up one of Naruto’s feet and began kissing them. ‘Not sorry. You are amazing and I would go mad if I had to wait a second longer.’ He placed Naruto’s toes in his mouth and nibbled down on them.

‘That is sooo cheating,’ Naruto sighed, his eyes hazy with happiness.

‘I’ll give you a choice, I can buy you a hundred different donuts in a hundred different flavours. Or I can take you to the bedroom and suck on your toes until you’re hard again and then fuck you until we both come.’

Naruto laughed. ‘That is a risky question, sugarpie, do you even realise how tempting a _hundred_ donuts is?’

Sasuke nipped down hard on Naruto’s little toe.

Naruto pulled his foot away and grabbed a handful of Sasuke’s hair, pulling him in for a long passionate kiss. ‘You win. You beat donuts.’

They left the bathroom, twisting and turning together entwined in each other’s arms as they continued kissing. Neither of them noticed they’d left the shower running.

In the bedroom, Naruto flung himself face down on the mattress. He looked over his shoulder giving Sasuke an unmistakably inviting smile. Sasuke buried his face between Naruto’s buttocks, licking and tonguing and tasting. He wanted to kiss every single inch of this man, but that indulgence would have to be delayed. He’d heard men talk about their cock throbbing before, but it was only now he truly knew what that meant. It felt painful like a wound, the pleasure of anticipation had crossed a line into pure desperation. And now he was on that side he had no concept of how he’d been able to stay away from this man and his perfect body for three seconds let alone three years.

His prepping of Naruto was a quick necessity rather than the prolonged foreplay he’d dreamed of so many times. Any attempt at savouring pressing his fingers into Naruto’s tightness was immediately disrupted by his boyfriend gyrating his hips and growling, ‘Enough already, fuck me!’

‘Okay. Just remember you asked for it, Sunflower.’ His voice was as much an animal growl as Naruto’s, he had none of his famed Uchiha nonchalance and control left, and he was glad.

He rubbed his cock against Naruto’s entrance and then he just pushed. He tried for a microsecond to recall all the advice he’d researched and read about how to be a tender and considerate lover and how to make the first time together special for both of you, and then he gave up. Naruto felt too good, he needed him too much. He pounded into Naruto hard. He gripped his fingers into Naruto’s hips, leant over him and bit whichever piece of him his mouth could reach,  and kept snarling out, ‘You’re mine, you’re all mine.’ It was primal lust inflamed to a full raging fire, by Naruto’s moans, his body bucking back into Sasuke’s, and his answering shout of, ‘You’re mine, Sasuke Uchiha, You are _mine_!’

His orgasm came suddenly. There was no build up. Or everything had been build up. He was thrusting a long stroke into Naruto with the same furious energy as all the ones that had preceded it and then he couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t even move. His legs, no, his whole body went weak. It was as if every single negative thing had been sucked out of him, all the anger, the grief, the regret, the insecurity, worries he didn’t even know had been worries, all of it gone. And the only thing left he was capable of doing was collapsing on top of his lover a panting, sweating mess.

It felt like a long time, but he hoped it wasn’t, before he had enough strength to roll off Naruto and manage the difficult task of moving from being a heavy lifeless weight squashing him, to being a heavy lifeless weight laying on his back on the mattress.

‘Sorry…sorry, I wanted it to be romantic…to show you how much I love you…and that was…’ He couldn’t finish his sentence not just because he was still short of breath but because he had no idea how to finish it.

‘I liked when you called me Sunflower,’ Naruto mumbled his face still buried in the bed.

Sasuke stroked Naruto’s shoulder. ‘Is that all?’ he asked in a quiet voice.

‘That’s a big thing, you never use pet names, and I like pet names.’ He leaned up on his elbow. His face was as sticky with sweat and as flushed as Sasuke’s felt. But whereas Sasuke was concerned about how the sex had been, Naruto was grinning. ‘And you definitely got more than what you paid for. I ask to come over you, and first you make me come in your mouth, and second you make me do this.’ He indicated his stomach and chest which were trailed with thick come and the sheets which looked soaked. ‘This is supposed to be all over you, not me!’ With a laugh he scooped a hand over his torso and rubbed his spunk over Sasuke’s nipples.

Sasuke’s whole body tremored, he moaned at how sensitive he was.

Naruto kept laughing. ‘I’ve never come so hard like that twice in a row! Don’t be getting a big ego or anything though, because I think I made you come tons too, and I bet I can do it again.’

Despite both his physical and emotional exhaustion, Sasuke couldn’t help smiling. ‘You want to do it again?’

‘Of course. That was just like a warm up. I’m off the clock and ready to go now. You’re about to get the full Naruto experience, are you ready?’

‘No, not in the least. Maybe in a few hours, after a sleep and…’

His words disappeared into warm lips pressing into his, hands pinning his above his head, and a beautiful round ass rubbing against his groin. And he realised he was ready. His lover was his best friend,  his best friend was his lover, and his world was perfect. Now he was ready for whatever happened next for the simple-complicated reason that Naruto was finally fully his boyfriend


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I hope you like this update, there is a little bit of lemony loveliness as these two cement their relationship, but it is mostly about them moving on together and working out how to be together as a couple.  
> Thank you so so much for continuing to read, I'll keep repeating it as it means an incredible amount to me to keep seeing your comments and receiving kudos and hits on this story. You all make my world so much brighter and make me smile a lot x

Firm hands wrapped around his waist and pulled Sasuke backwards into a hot muscular body.

‘I’m cooking, Idiot.’ Sasuke was relieved that his voice sounded composed and didn’t reveal the thrill of pleasure racing through him from the closeness of Naruto.

‘You’ve finished, haven’t you? It looked like you had.’ Naruto nuzzled against his ear.

How long had Naruto been watching him and he hadn’t even noticed? He blushed at how involved he must have been in his thoughts to miss the presence of his loud boyfriend, and it hadn’t been chopping tomatoes that had occupied his mind. He’d been reliving everything they’d been doing together recently. Fuck, he hoped his sighs and moans had just been in his mind and he hadn’t made any of those noises from just remembering being with Naruto.

He pulled away from the yellow-head and turned to face him. Damn. The wide as hell grin on Naruto’s face displayed too clearly that he had a very accurate idea of what Sasuke had been daydreaming about.

‘I like you being my sexy little housewife and me being your hardworking husband.’ Naruto winked.

‘You are tinkering with your car, which is your hobby, hardly hard work.’

A week ago, before they’d started having sex, Sasuke would have had a _much_ better reply than that. One that would have sharply rebuked Naruto for calling him a ‘sexy little housewife’, instead of ignoring that and leaving open the obviously completely wrong possibility that he liked being referred to in that way. And he would not have been (so) flustered at Naruto casually calling himself Sasuke’s husband. And he would not have been completely distracted by somehow simultaneously being turned on by both the too-loose jogging pants that made him imagine the shape of Naruto underneath, and the too-tight old t-shirt which clearly displayed all of Naruto’s muscle definition. Then there was the matter of the oil splattered all over him. The yellow-head regularly taunted Sasuke for being a neat freak and needing everything too clean. So what was going on with him, that he found Naruto even hotter than his already base smouldering level, when the man was smeared with dirt?

‘You look so cute at the moment.’ Naruto rubbed the tip of Sasuke’s nose with a finger. ‘Maybe I can get a photo of you just wearing your apron and nothing else?’

‘I do not look cute, I never look cute.’ Sasuke turned back to the kitchen counter and tried to look busy moving spice pots around. ‘And no you cannot have a photo. That was just part of what we did last night. Don’t think that’s normal.’

‘What you sucking my dick? Or you letting me take a pic of you sucking my dick?’ Naruto’s voice was too deep and confident, it was clear he didn’t consider either thing to be rare gifts from Sasuke, but things that were now an accepted part of the new developments in their life together as boyfriends.

Which was perfectly logical considering Sasuke had given Naruto more blow jobs in seven days than he had given to all his other lovers added together across the rest of his life. And last night when Naruto had said he wanted a photo, Sasuke had resisted him taking it on his phone as he knew via Suigetsu how loose the security was on anything connected to the internet, and he could have left it there. Naruto didn’t push it. But no, he ran around finding a polaroid camera and batteries and film for it, just to please his lover who had asked for this thing on a whim.

‘Hnnnn.’ Sasuke didn’t have a better reply.

Naruto put his hands on Sasuke’s hips and circled his thumbs over Sasuke’s buttocks. ‘Whoops. I’ve made your clothes dirty with my oily fingers. Seeing you’ve got to take them off anyway, I might as well take a couple of snaps.’ He breathed on Sasuke’s neck. ‘Can I get the camera?’

‘No.’ Sasuke turned and pushed Naruto away.  ‘You’d drip mess everywhere. _I’ll_ get the camera.’

When he returned to the kitchen, Naruto’s clothes were in a heap on the floor and the man was naked, leaning against the counter stroking an impressive erection. There was no point even trying to hide his attraction at this point, he licked his lips and just stood still for a long moment gazing at his lover. Naruto had washed his hands and face, but there was still a rough look to him that made Sasuke sigh with lust.

Wordlessly he handed the camera to Naruto and undressed himself.

‘Put the apron back on,’ Naruto said.

Sasuke obeyed.  And he continued to obey as Naruto told him how to stand. He stopped himself though when he recognised that he was deliberately pretending to misunderstand to entice his boyfriend to come over and position Sasuke how he wanted him.

‘How did this happen?’ Sasuke asked in genuine wonder, after Naruto finally seemed to have got the photo he wanted which was Sasuke leaning over the counter looking back over his shoulder licking a strawberry lolly.

 ‘You got really lucky.’ Naruto came over to Sasuke so they could both watch the colours emerge in the photo he held in his hand. He stroked the curve of Sasuke’s ass as they waited.

When the image appeared Sasuke felt the heat rush to his cheeks, it wasn’t only seeing himself in the pose, it was the expression on his face which was so open in its desire to please.

Naruto tilted his head to the side. ‘Maybe we could try it again with a banana instead of the lolly?’

‘Maybe we couldn’t.’ Sasuke’s voice had none of its usual firmness as he continued to gaze at the man in the polaroid.

‘A cucumber then? That’s like a boring vegetable thing that tastes of nothing, so I know you’ll love it.’ He leaned in towards Sasuke and took a nip of the lolly he was holding.

Sasuke passed the lolly to his boyfriend to chomp through. ‘Have I changed a lot since we started together?’

‘Yep.’ Naruto munched the lolly up in three big bites.

‘So who are you in love with, the man you first knew, or the man I am now?’

‘Who says I’m in love with you, sweetheart?’  He slapped Sasuke’s bum.

‘It was a serious question.’ Sasuke grabbed Naruto’s hand and pulled it away from fondling his ass.

‘Then don’t ask it when you’re naked.’ Naruto answered immediately grinning at Sasuke, but there was obviously something in Sasuke’s expression as his eyes widened and he put his hands on either side of Sasuke’s face and kissed him tenderly. ‘I want every part of you. It amazes me how we’re growing and changing together. I’ve never had anyone like you in my life before and you know I’ve never had a relationship like this. Every day I feel blessed and grateful, and I am so sorry if I am not showing that to you. I thought it’d been pretty obvious in the last few days.’ He gave a small husky chuckle and ran his hands over the bare part of Sasuke’s chest above the apron.

Sasuke let his body lean into Naruto’s naked warmth. His stomach clenched and he felt ridiculous and embarrassed before he even spoke, but he knew after the devastating mistakes of his past he owed Naruto full honesty.

‘Since we’ve started having sex,’ Sasuke spoke into Naruto’s shoulder, ‘the dynamics between us have changed. I feel vulnerable. You have all the power.’

Naruto pushed Sasuke away just enough so he could look into his face. ‘Baby, really? You haven’t enjoyed us? I’ve never felt closer to anyone ever.’

‘No. That’s not what I meant. I feel that way too. That’s what is scaring me. I thought just being in love with you left me emotionally exposed, and that I was constantly and always drawn to you before, but this is so much more. And the difference is that before I may never have been entirely confident in how attracted you were to me, but I still felt we were floundering along together, whereas now, you seem more comfortable than ever and I am…’

‘Just the sexiest man in the world.’ Naruto undid Sasuke’s apron and threw it to the side, so they were both completely naked.  ‘I am the happiest I’ve ever been in my life, and, yeah, that’s making me comfortable and confident.’ He ran his hands over Sasuke’s body as he spoke. ‘You know how long it took us to get here, and it could’ve been really awful with both of us too nervous, but it is amazing. It is so raw with you, Sasuke. I’ve had sex with so many people and I thought I was good at it, but I’ve no idea what I was doing with them now as what we do together is so real that it’s made me realise how fake everything was before.’

He kissed Sasuke, beginning with tender gentleness, but within a minute their tongues were fighting against each other and they were rolling about on the floor. Sasuke didn’t think he’d got close to explaining what he felt to Naruto, he’d try again later, now all he wanted was to grind against his man.

‘Hang on a minute.’ Naruto deftly jumped to his feet and pulled the ice tray out of the freezer.  ‘You must be a little sore from everything we’ve been doing, this helps.’ He popped an ice cube into his mouth and started sucking on Sasuke’s cock.

Sasuke sighed with the contrast between the heat of his sex and Naruto’s mouth with the coldness of the ice. Naruto swirled it around with his tongue, with a perfect instinct knowing where to place it and how long to leave it there.

Then Sasuke moaned not just with the pleasure, but the sudden realisation that Naruto was better at sex than him. It was the explanation for the look he had in the photo, and the sense that had been bothering him all week that all the power in their relationship had flipped to Naruto. Naruto was naturally caring, giving and thinking of others. Sasuke hadn’t even thought himself about how his cock was perhaps getting a bit too tender from all the rough fucking they’d been doing, his mind was so preoccupied with being with Naruto that he didn’t even have room to think about the condition of his own body. But Naruto had noticed something and the combination of his tongue and the ice were soothing Sasuke and turning him on in a perfect combination.

At least it wasn’t that he was bad, Naruto came hard, or that he’d forgotten how to fuck with it being so long. This generosity in loving each other was something he’d never known before, he’d always been ignorant of the thoughtfulness needed in a committed sexual relationship.  It’d only been a week, but already it was showing that Sasuke had never had sex with the same person over two consecutive days, let alone seven. Whereas Naruto…had? They didn’t discuss their previous sex lives beyond the vague knowledge that they had both had a plethora of different lovers and the fact neither of them had been in love like they were now.

Sasuke looked at the beautiful yellow haired man with his lips around his cock. If he wanted to keep this person, if he wanted to _deserve_ to keep this person, every day of his whole life he was going to have to work at being kind and caring. It was an indescribable disappointment that even with someone he loved as much as he loved Naruto it didn’t come naturally to him, and he feared it never would.

With effort, Sasuke pulled away from Naruto’s attentions.

‘Not good?’ Naruto asked with raised eyebrows.

‘Incredibly good.’ He got a couple of ice cubes himself. ‘I want to share the feeling with you.’

He lay back down next to Naruto so they were in a 69 position, gently he pushed his hand between Naruto’s muscular thighs and reached around to rub the ice between his buttocks.

Naruto moaned but immediately took Sasuke back into his mouth rather than just luxuriating in what Sasuke was doing to him. Sasuke tried to do the same, moving around so he could lick Naruto’s deliciously large balls while he continued to use his fingers and the ice to pleasure his boyfriend’s ass. But whatever it was that Naruto had, he lacked. When Naruto increased the pressure all he could do was lay back with an arm over his eyes and try to keep from coming for as long as possible because he wanted it to last forever.

When it was too much to resist for a second longer, he spunked into Naruto’s mouth and then all he could do was lay there panting and enjoying Naruto’s post coital touch. How did he already know Sasuke’ body so perfectly? He knew better than Sasuke knew himself when to be firm and when to be delicate. Right now he was feathering his fingers on the inside of Sasuke’s thighs in a way that made Sasuke feel like he was riding the crest of his orgasm to more intense and deeper fulfilment. Impatient to learn how to do the same for his lover, Sasuke leant up on his elbows to watch exactly what his boyfriend was doing.

Naruto smiled at him. ‘I know what you’re up to.’

‘I think it is obvious. I am looking at my gorgeous husband, I mean…boyfriend. My boyfriend.’  Sasuke let his head fall back onto the floor. He needed to learn fast not to say _anything_ to Naruto when his body was still in the waves of sexual pleasure.

Naruto moved his body around and crawled up Sasuke covering him in kisses on the way.  When his face was above Sasuke’s he said, ‘Sex isn’t a competition, yaknow, and that’s me saying that, who I know, before you remind me, is always trying to make you come more times than you make me come, and succeeding by the way.’ He kissed Sasuke’s nose.

Sasuke went to move his hand down to Naruto’s groin to at least return the favour with his hand that he hadn’t managed with his mouth, but Naruto batted him away.

‘Not now, I am being all clever and insightful, don’t interrupt.’

‘Hnnn. It sounded like you were boasting about pleasuring me more than I pleasure you and heavily hinting that you needed finishing off.’

‘Not at all, Sweet Sasuke. I was saying we are good together and repeating for about the trillionth time how happy I am being your lover. And about to confess that I am a lot turned on by thinking about how the cold, repressed man I first met has transformed into my beautiful lover writhing about on the floor because of what I am doing to him. And I am guilty of liking your insecurities more than I should because it makes me feel all warm and protective of you. But I’ve got to be a good boyfriend and tell you the way you fuck me is every kind of hot. So don’t be looking at me as if you’re studying me trying to learn what to do, because you know exactly what to do. And besides you may have noticed that the two of us are different men, so how I touch you might not be how I’d most like to be touched. Like, have I ever spent ages massaging and kissing your feet which, yaknow, is one of the biggest turn-ons for me? No, I haven’t because I don’t think it’d hit you like it hits me. But we’ve got time to try out everything together so don’t worry. As, yes, a billion times yes, when you ask me properly, I will be your husband.’ He put Sasuke’s hand onto his cock. ‘Alright, me being clever and insightful is over, so now you can wank me off.’

He saved Sasuke from having to respond by kissing Sasuke passionately and not stopping.

***

Sasuke checked his watch. This was Naruto’s night so he wouldn’t shout at him about his time keeping. Though Naruto had insisted on going in the bathroom on his own to make sure Sasuke didn’t distract him and make him late, so if he was being denied the joys of seeing Naruto’s body in the shower, his boyfriend could at least make the deprivation worthwhile by getting ready in time.

As if aware of Sasuke’s growing impatience, there was a loud bang on the other side of the bathroom door. ‘Are you ready for me?’ Naruto shouted out.

Without waiting for an answer he bounced out twirling around in a suit that seemed to be made entirely of green glitter.

‘I couldn’t believe it when you told me to go get something different from your tailor guy! You’re normally so conservative, and when I told them you were finally taking me to see _Wicked_ they were so full of ideas. What do you think then? I’ve never really worn green before, but you were right to tell me to try something new!’ He leapt up into Sasuke’s arms. ‘You’re the absolute best.’

Sasuke was glad of the opportunity to kiss Naruto and not have to actually say anything to him.  The outfit was hideous. What he was sure he told his boyfriend was not to buy anything in his favourite orange, if it was anyone but the beaming Naruto he was currently holding, he would assume that this was a practical joke, or some sort of daring test of his love to see if he’d leave the hotel room with someone dressed like this.

Was he actually going to go outside with a sparkling oversized leprechaun? Yes, he was. When had he cared what other people thought of him? The only one that counted was Naruto.

Still before he left, he casually said, ‘I think it will be cold when the show finishes, you should take my coat, the long one.’

Naruto flung his arms around Sasuke’s neck. ‘I love you’re that guy. The one who wants to see his boo wearing his clothes, that makes my heart do all sorts of flippity somersaults as I always dreamed of the high school thing they do in the movies and telly shows where the cheerleader wears her jock boyfriend’s jacket everywhere. But we’re going to have to do that fantasy another day, as I want everyone to see the birthday present you got me.’

Sasuke frowned. ‘It’s not your birthday for months.’

‘I know, but we’ll be back at work then and it won’t be right celebrating then, so I’ve decided this will be my birthday present.’

As they walked together and Naruto chatted about the musical they were about to see for the thousandth time that day, Sasuke thought about other things. He knew it was a sign of his selfishness that he had been so happy that he’d hoped Naruto would be content just enjoying the luxury of Sasuke’s money and being together for a lot longer. But of course Naruto would want to go back to doing aid work. It was a miracle that Sasuke had managed to keep him away for this much time. He had been planning to buy Naruto photography equipment and set up a dark room for him for his birthday surprise. He had imagined how happy his boyfriend would be learning a new skill. He said he understood Sasuke’s total denial of digital photographs but had been complaining that polaroids were too small and he wanted to take bigger photos. And in honesty, Sasuke had looked forward to posing and being an integral part of Naruto’s hobby.

It would surely have been easy to find a long-term lover who would revel in a life of ease, where the main point of their existence was giving each other sexual pleasure and everything else was just vague amusement on the periphery of their lives. But obviously the only person he’d ever truly wanted and needed thought the main purpose of life was doing everything you could to help other people.

Even though he felt frustrated and annoyed, Sasuke found himself smiling. They balanced each other. Naruto made Sasuke good, Sasuke prevented Naruto working to the bone and giving all their wealth away to the first beggar he saw. And he hoped he made sure there was personal happiness in Naruto’s life. He had to admit, his heart was wiser than his head and had chosen the perfect person to love.

Admittedly he was not so sure of his heart’s wisdom sitting through the musical that never seemed to end. At least they were in a box, so no one but him was disturbed by Naruto’s constant humming, and even singing, along to the music. But when he stopped watching the stage and just gazed at his boyfriend he had no doubts. The way Naruto leaned over to get those few extra inches closer to the stage, laughed harder, clapped louder, even rubbed away tears, somehow made Sasuke want to drop down to his knees and suck on this bright glittery man’s cock.  Unfortunately, whenever Sasuke’s hand travelled up Naruto’s thigh and reached his groin, Naruto shook his head with a grin and pointed for Sasuke to look at whatever inane thing was happening in the musical.

‘We can fuck each other all night,’ Naruto said in what he probably thought was a whisper. ‘But we can only watch this right now.’

Sasuke didn’t even manage to get more than a cuddle in the interval as Naruto wanted to talk constantly about how amazing all the actors were and dissect every single directing decision as if they were watching a masterpiece of Shakespearean performance.

When it finally ended, and Naruto was interspersing howling out ‘Defying Gravity’ between in-depth analysis of whether the characters would be happy with their choices or if there could be another version where they all ended up living in some threesome, because the two witches were apparently very obviously the real love story, a man came up hugged Naruto and kissed him on the lips.

Sasuke stood absolutely still. The anger that he’d worked so hard at controlling, roared through him in boiling, clawing rage. If he moved too soon he knew with absolute certainty he would start punching and not stop until the man that dared touch his boyfriend was nothing more than a piece of gooey sludge on the floor. He could almost hear the sound of the man’s bones breaking beneath the force of Sasuke’s fists and it filled him with pleasure.

Naruto’s reaction didn’t help. He hugged the man and was babbling away about how long it’d been since they saw each other. He didn’t pull away from the man’s hands resting on the curve of his ass even though he had spent the whole show avoiding Sasuke’s advances.

The only part of Sasuke that moved was his long fingers clenching into fists.

‘It shouldn’t be such a surprise to see you here, how many times did you and I go to _Wicked_?’ The man laughed. ‘But it’s been so long, Nicky, I was scared you’d disappeared for good. Are you working again, you’ve no idea how much I’ve missed you.’

The use of Naruto’s escort name caused a fire of pure hatred to burn through Sasuke.

‘Yeah, about that, Neji…’

Sasuke’s attention snapped to the man being overly familiar with his boyfriend, it was Neji Hyuga. How hadn’t he noticed? Neji was a very distant cousin who he’d been convinced to give a job within the company several years ago, and for once had been rewarded for family interference with an extremely capable employee who he’d quickly promoted. He hadn’t noticed because although not officially an Uchiha he always conducted himself with Uchiha reserve and professionalism, whereas the voice he’d used with Naruto was light and happy and he was dressed in clothes which didn’t exactly rival Naruto’s for brightness but were clearly intended for a night clubbing in sharp contrast to the conservative clothes Sasuke had always seen him in before at work and family gatherings. And he was wearing make-up.

‘I’m well and truly off the market now, sorry, babes,’ Naruto was saying as Sasuke with intense effort was restraining himself from pummelling a hole in Neji’s chest. ‘This is my boyfriend, Sasuke Uchiha.’

Neji had raised eyebrows at the word ‘boyfriend’ and his face froze in that position at the name ‘Sasuke Uchiha’. There was a tiny glimmer of joy in the violence of Sasuke’s mind at seeing Neji pale beneath his make-up and visibly swallow as he turned his head away from the dazzling light that was Naruto and clearly, for the first time, notice who was standing beside the yellow-head.

‘My apologies, I should not have approached you when you are with someone else. Forgive me, it was my excitement at seeing you after such a long time, I did not notice you weren’t alone, though it is obvious you wouldn’t be.’ His words sounded like they were directed to Naruto, but he gazed at Sasuke with uncertainty. His voice had returned to the familiar formal tones Sasuke was used to hearing. ‘I’ll leave you to continue your evening, please ignore my intrusion.’

Neji started to back away but Naruto grabbed his hand. ‘Hey, no intrusion, it’s so great to see you. Why don’t you join us for a drink? We had a lot of fun together, you were always one of my faves, and I don’t say that to everyone. It’ll be great to be friends and spend time together, yaknow, outside you paying me for dates.’ Naruto laughed. ‘Are you with someone? I bet a stud like you has a real hottie on your arm tonight, it’ll be like a foursome or something…no, that’s not what it’s called, is it? I got it, it’ll be a double-date thing!’

Sasuke and Neji looked at each other in absolute horror.

‘That’s a very kind offer, but there’s a group of us and…’

‘Even better, we can join up! Which bar are you going on to? It’s been ages since I’ve been out partying with a big gang. It’ll make this the perfect night.’

‘Nicky, can we please do it another time? I do have a date, but it’s early days, and they might be a…little shy about meeting you.’

‘OK, cool, I understand, but promise we’ll get together soon.’

Sasuke kept his expression disinterested as Naruto insisted on exchanging details with Neji and gave the man his real name. Neji kept giving Sasuke worried glances obviously entirely uncertain whether he’d earn more of Sasuke’s wrath if he refused his new _boyfriend_ anything, or by doing what he was doing, and giving the former escort his phone number and address alongside having a prolonged conversation about the best times to contact each other and meet up.

When they finally walked on Sasuke noted that Neji disappeared into a group of women that were also his employees, this was a work outing. He was immediately relieved that Neji had managed to come up with an excuse that had stopped Naruto from meeting them. This was followed by calculations on Neji’s personality, how likely was it that he’d tell anyone within the family or firm that Sasuke was openly dating an escort who wore green sparkly clothes and treated _Wicked_ like high art?

Naruto was in one of his most talkative and happiest moods. The only time he required a response from Sasuke was when he asked if they should go out partying by themselves, or at least get something to eat, which Sasuke shut down with a simple ‘no’. Though it did remind him to send a quick text to cancel the restaurant he’d organised to stay open just to serve him and Naruto for a romantic candlelit post-show dinner.

When they got home Naruto gave him a big hug, bending down to rest his head on Sasuke’s chest. ‘This was an amazing night, thank you, honey.’

Amazing. Not perfect. It would have been a ‘perfect night’ if Neji had agreed to join up with them.

‘And wasn’t it cool when we met Neji? You know not that long ago, I think you would’ve gone batshit crazy and probably dumped my ass just thinking about one of my clients seeing us together, but the way you were totally fine with it just showed me how lucky I am to be with you. You got it, didn’t you, how much it meant to me to be acknowledged in public like a normal person? After how it went with Sakura’s wedding, where I thought we were friends, well we are friends, but yaknow, I thought we were strong enough friends that she wouldn’t be embarrassed by me. And then tonight, you who is all possessive and Neji who is some high-up business thing both treated us meeting by chance as a good thing and not embarrassing at all. That was even more amazing than my new suit and seeing _Wicked_ together for the first time.’ Naruto smile turned to a frown.

Sasuke had no idea what his emotions were doing, but in the turmoil he did recognise shame that Naruto was about to realise that Sasuke had not been fine at all about meeting Neji, and also deep anger at Naruto, who could be so sharp and alert in many surprising ways, for ever thinking it’d be fine.

‘Do you actually know Neji? With him being a business guy and you being a business guy in the same city? Have you seen each other before? Because, yaknow, I keep my clients’ affairs private, but between me and you, if you know who his boss is and you ever run into him, give him hell. Super kickass hell. That’s why Neji needed me really, it wasn’t the sex, you saw how gorgeous he is, and super confident and with this beautiful way about him that is totally charming, and he’s got a great dry sense of humour when you get to know him. Anyway, he could have anyone he wanted for sex, but he needed someone totally unconnected to sound off to about his controlling family and this horrible boss his family forced him to work for to keep up family ties or some such crap. And he always felt he had to do what his family told him to because they’d programmed him from when he was a little kid that duty was more important than anything else, including the tiny matter of his own happiness. And he’s incredibly intelligent and perceptive and knew how he was being manipulated, but still couldn’t shake free of the shackles. And this bastard boss, who was like also some distant cousin, took advantage of that and…’

‘I am his boss,’ Sasuke interrupted. ‘Or I was before I stepped down to be with you, but when he paid you, it was obviously me he needed to sound off about.’

‘Ooooh.’ Naruto rubbed the back of his head. Then he chuckled. ‘I was flattering my ego that he was looking upset at the idea of me no longer being available, because, yaknow, he asked me to settle down with him a few times, but it was _you_ that made him go all strange, wasn’t it? Ouch! Awkward! Who wants to meet their boss when they’re out having fun?’

The rage in Sasuke felt like it had burnt through all his less essential organs and was now searing through his heart and brain.

‘No one,’ he said with a smile. He took Naruto to the sofa and rubbed his feet. ‘You looked incredible tonight, I was so proud to be seen out with you.’

If it was possible for a human to glow through sheer happiness, Naruto was that human.

‘All the time we spend together and it’s magical to think how we’ve still got so much to learn about each other,’ Sasuke’s voice sounded friendly and calm. He brushed his hand across Naruto’s cheeks. ‘I think you’ve suffered through all the gruesome details of my younger years, but you’ve never told me how you got these scars. Or even what you know about your parents, the real ones not the ones in your head, say hi to them by the way next time you talk to them.’ Sasuke tucked a lock of stray hair behind Naruto’s ear.

‘I always do.’ Naruto smiled but shrugged. ‘But nothing to share about the real world I’m afraid. I’ve got no idea about a lot of my life let alone what happened while I was a tiny kid. My earliest memories are just being on my own at the orphanage and no one ever talking to me and you know all about that crap.’

Sasuke had the gentle conversation ready to link seemingly casually to the real questions which would probe around the yellow-head’s past and discover all Naruto’s past _clients_ and find out how often he would be meeting an underling that had paid to fuck his boyfriend, most likely while Sasuke had still been playing video games and struggling to escape from the friend zone.

Instead he stroked his hands through Naruto’s hair. ‘You’re not curious about your relatives?’

‘I don’t know, sugar, if I had living family that cared, they would have found me out by now, and if they don’t care, what’s the point? And if they’re not living, like my parents, it might just all be too painful.’

Sasuke nodded and then excused himself to the kitchen to get something to eat for his famished boyfriend.

Naruto gave him a wide smile. ‘You’re way too good to me.’

He left his boyfriend on the couch singing ‘Defying Gravity’ in a voice that was beginning to sound tired, his usual howling now more a gruff mumbling.

In the kitchen he prepared a couple of sandwiches and a hot chocolate for Naruto. When he returned Naruto was curled up and snoring. Sasuke put the food down then he knelt beside Naruto. He took the box out of his pocket. It’d been there all evening, waiting for the right moment which was supposed to have been at the cancelled meal after the show. He’d planned at the beginning, and then letting Naruto order everything on the dessert menu for his meal and they could drink too-sweet pink champagne and share all the sickly sweet things that Naruto loved to eat.

He stared at the box, then flicked it open. How could something so small symbolise so much? He slipped the ring on the sleeping man’s finger. Naruto didn’t stir. He removed the ring, replaced it in the box and put the box back in his pocket.

He stood up and called Suigetsu.

‘You once mentioned you had a file on Naruto. I want to see it.’


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a little interlude showing an average day in the life of the happy boyfriends.  
> There is sex because well, it's an average day in the life of the happy boyfriends :)

Today was going to be the day. No backing out. He would share everything with Naruto straight away.  Well, after breakfast. Naruto couldn’t think about anything before food. It’d be useless to try to talk to him. Especially about something like this.

‘You finally awake, angel face?’ A warm hand trailed down his chest.

‘Yes.’ Sasuke said without opening his eyes. How had Naruto known? As far as he knew he hadn’t moved a muscle.

‘Good. I’ve made breakfast.’

Sasuke was in control enough to supress a groan.

‘But before that.’ Naruto dipped under the covers and put his mouth around Sasuke’s cock.

Sasuke was never in control enough to supress his groans of pleasure when Naruto touched him.

He’d never been a noisy lover before, often fucking in complete silence. But he’d never had a Naruto before.

In between his moans, he heard his own voice, husky and wanton, sounding like a really bad, unimaginative audition for a porn movie. But he didn’t care.

‘Hnnnnn, you’re so good, Naruto.’

‘You’re sooo good.’

‘That feels so fucking good.’

‘Don’t stop.’

‘Please don’t stop.’

‘You’re so amazing.’

‘I know I am.’ The yellow-head lifted his head with grin. ‘But much as I love tasting your come, I want to ride you.’

He repositioned his body astride Sasuke.

Sasuke stroked his hands up and down the strong muscles of Naruto’s thighs that were now within his reach and looked with lust as Naruto fisted his own hand up and down his thick cock. More than anything though, he was aware of the sensations in his own erection currently rubbing against the crease between Naruto’s tight buttocks. His lover moved his hips expertly, pleasuring him, and also tantalising him with how close he was to being inside his boyfriend.

‘I’d never have started this thing with you if I knew what a tease you were,’ Sasuke breathed.

Naruto slowly leaned over him, tilting his head so their lips almost touched. ‘Liar.’

The yellow-head laughed and would have sat up straight again, but Sasuke was quicker catching the back of Naruto’s head and holding him still as he scraped his teeth over his lover’s lips.

‘Turn around. I want to see your ass when I fuck you.’

Naruto continued laughing, but he obeyed Sasuke, turning his body towards Sasuke’s feet, but twisting his head around to presumably enjoy Sasuke’s reaction as he gazed at Naruto’s perfect ass.

And it was so perfect. It made his breath catch in his throat thinking this beautiful man was giving all of his beautiful body to Sasuke each and every day. He massaged his hands over the curves of Naruto’s butt cheeks. Then the stranger truth struck him. That it didn’t matter if Naruto didn’t have such an amazing physique. Sasuke would still lust after him just as much.

‘Hey! You can’t complain about me having fun teasing you, when you’re taking about ten hours just looking at me.’

‘I’m not just looking at you, my hands are actually touching you, idiot.’ He slapped his hand against Naruto’s hip. ‘Or do I need to be rougher with you to get your attention?’

Naruto gave a pleasing moan. ‘Spanking later, babes. Not that I deserve it, I’m being a good boy and facing away from you, so give me your cock. Now!’ He lifted his hips slightly higher to give Sasuke room to manoeuvre and spread his ass cheeks open for his lover.

Sasuke exhaled deeply. He wished he had the willpower just to rub and tease Naruto until the man was squirming and begging, but he had no more power to resist than the very first time they’d fucked. His body was as hot for his boyfriend whether they’d gone years without each other, or whether they’d pleasured each other a few hours ago during the night.

He put his erection at Naruto’s entrance and started wanking against him, meaning to start fingering him, but Naruto was impatient, pressing back down on him, taking his head immediately with the only lube being a few drops of pre-cum. Sasuke gasped. They’d done this once before, the ripping pain from the raw friction was exquisite.  Naruto’s groans indicated he felt something similar, the agony of being split open before he rode Sasuke deep enough to get him to hit his prostate. The pain before the pleasure suited them. Though Sasuke would probably reach for the lube before he went any further into his lover. But whatever their banter, however it might look, even when Sasuke held Naruto down and pounded into him, somehow things had worked out so that Naruto was always in control and leading their sex life.  And never more so than when he was riding Sasuke. Sasuke could literally lie back and enjoy however Naruto wanted it to unfold. This letting go and trust was something that was only possible because of how much he loved Naruto. Though it was, no doubt, helped, by the fact that Naruto was by far the best sexual partner he’d ever known. Whatever Naruto did, it was always right.

Sasuke sighed with helpless pleasure as Naruto began to rock his hips at the same time as reaching between Sasuke’s thighs and trailing fingers over his balls and perineum.

‘You’re too good for me,’ Sasuke said.

It was difficult to look away from his cock spreading Naruto’s ass, but he knew he owed his lover some attention to one of his favourite erogenous zones. The reason he’d asked Naruto to turn the other way, was that he’d wanted to have the yellow-head’s feet in easy reach as they fucked. As soon as Sasuke ran his hands down Naruto’s soles, the grip of Naruto’s ass around his cock increased.  Both men groaned. Sasuke made his hands into fists and pressed his knuckles into Naruto’s feet. Naruto’s bottom was so tight around him that the pain and ecstasy were completely entwined.  Sasuke forced himself not to relax into the pleasure but continued to work over Naruto’s sensitive feet as Naruto’s hips gyrated on top of him.

‘I’m going to come,’ Naruto gasped.

For just a moment the blonde put his hands behind his back, fingers splayed, before going back to using them to stimulate Sasuke. Sasuke had no idea when Naruto had first used that sign, or why he’d immediately understood it without Naturo needing to explain what it meant: that Naruto wanted Sasuke to hug and hold him. If Sasuke believed in other worlds, he would explain it by the fact that there was some deep link between their souls that had been formed over many lives lived together. Right now, though, he thought of nothing but giving Naruto what he wanted. He adjusted his weight, sitting up and wrapping one arm around his boyfriend’s chest, with the other hand he started furiously wanking Naruto until Sasuke’s hand was covered in thick come and Naruto was panting leaning back into him. Even spent from his own orgasm, Naruto never stopped moving his hips giving Sasuke pleasure. Sasuke rubbed his boyfriend’s spunk over the shaft of his cock and Naruto used the extra lubrication to plunge down on Sasuke, taking his whole length. They found their rhythm, moving together, as if they truly were one body.

At some point Naruto leaned forward so he was on his hands and knees and Sasuke moved with him, his chest, pressed into Naruto’s back. This was one of Sasuke’s favourite positions where they were so close and connected, and at some deep primal level, it fed into both his protective and possessive instincts as his body surrounded all of his lover’s.

But then later when Naruto was laying down, somehow balanced on his shoulders, as Sasuke held his hips up and pushed into his lover, Sasuke thought that his favourite position had to be one where he could look into Naruto’s beautiful eyes. Especially watching the pure ecstasy overcome them as his boyfriend came for the second time. The sight triggered Sasuke’s own overwhelming orgasm. He pumped as hard as he could into his lover, the loss of the last of his control with the orgasm turning him into a base animal that wanted only one thing in life, for his mate to be filled with Sasuke’s scent and to be marked as belonging to him. That done he fell panting onto the bed, incapable of speaking or even thinking, but at the very peak of human happiness.

Naruto curled into him and they lay twisted together on sweat soaked sheets for a long time before Naruto suddenly bounced up.

‘Oh hell! I think I left the oven on! I only meant to give you a quick blow, yaknow, teasing you for later! Fuck!’ Naruto ran down naked to the kitchen.

Sasuke put on a gown, picked up one for his boyfriend and followed after at a much slower pace. 

‘It’s okay, panic over.’ Naruto was in the process of taking something gloopy out of the oven and for someone who had unbelievable agility in bed, he somehow did not possess the grace to hold a tray straight and the gloopy something was glooping all over the kitchen floor.

He took the tray off him with one hand and put it on the side. ‘I know. You forgot to turn the oven on, didn’t you? If something had been burning the smoke alarms would have definitely gone off, and probably the sprinklers too.’

‘You have sprinklers?’ Naruto looked unduly impressed.

Sasuke gave an indulgent smile and wrapped the gown around his naked boyfriend. ‘Anyone else would’ve learned by now not to cook in the nude. How about I make us a quick breakfast?’

‘Don’t worry, sugarplums, I also made smoothies and ramen so all is not lost.’ Naruto put his arms around Sasuke in a tight hug lifting him off the ground, before wondering over to look at a cook book open on the side. ‘I think I needed to add an extra ingredient, but the page is a bit hard to read.’

The page was impossible to read. A thick hardened layer of what could be strawberry icing and bits of sponge covered the whole book so completely that it was hard to believe that it was accidental.

Sasuke was obviously still in the swirl of calm and relaxation after sex, as his disbelief must have been clear enough on his face for Naruto to feel he had to offer an explanation.

‘I tried to make a cake earlier, yaknow, to celebrate it being four-and-a-bit weeks since we first started having sex. But it didn’t turn out quite right.’

Sasuke made sure his face held its natural nonchalance, swallowed all his questions about how exactly Naruto’d squashed his cake into the cooking book. Instead he said, ‘Four-and-a-bit weeks is an important anniversary. Why don’t you let me take you out for something to eat today?’

‘No. That wouldn’t be personal. I remember how special it was when you cooked for our second date and I wanted to do the same. I bet its salt, the missing ingredient is always salt isn’t it?’

Before Sasuke could reply Naruto had poured salt into two bowls the way he poured sugar onto his already sugary cereal. Sasuke stared with a sinking feeling on the thing in the bowl that he realised he would have to eat soon. It looked more like a congealed sleeping creature that would awaken to devour Sasuke’s face, rather than something that was supposed to be a meal.

‘When you said smoothie and ramen, I presumed they would be two separate things rather than in the same dish?’

‘I know! I mixed the recipes together to make them more interesting.’

‘I am so lucky to have such an inventive boyfriend.’ He kissed Naruto on the ear and wondered if there was any way he could divert him with more sex. But no, the mess in the kitchen showed how hard Naruto had worked, if the price for all the companionship, laughter, hot fucking and the incredible kindness and forgiveness, was to occasionally have to pretend to enjoy ramen-smoothie he could do that without chickening out.

Naruto chatted happily away through their breakfast, visibly basking in all the compliments Sasuke gave him.  Afterwards Sasuke insisted on clearing up on his own and letting the cook relax. Before he started tidying, he rinsed his mouth out with water, then mint cordial, then water again. He was efficient and quick at cleaning up after Naruto by now, so soon he was in a bath with his lover, half smiling as Naruto tried to mould himself bubble breasts, half flowing with desire as he lathered his boyfriend’s legs up. They did a few chores, then played Scrabble which Naruto loved even though he lost (by the official rules anyway) every time.

‘You only win based on the boring points scoring, which counts for nothing. I win, in reality, because my words are better than yours, like, what is claque? Who uses a word like that ever? I bet you don’t even know what it means’

‘I believe it is derived from French, claquer, meaning to clap and refers to someone who is hired to applaud a performance.’

‘Point proven,’ Naruto said with his hands on his hips. ‘But everyone knows what foxy is. Admit that you think _foxy_ , every time you look at me, but when do you ever think _claque_?’

‘Hnnn, I suppose I think my boyfriend has the intelligence of a roadkill fox which is similar. You are incapable of beating me at anything, especially Scrabble where you lack even the most basic tactics. You wasted your ‘x’ and ‘y’ making that word without getting any bonus at all,’ Sasuke smirked.

They bickered about games for a while, then the conversation took a more serious turn as Naruto wanted to discuss the practicalities of their next upcoming voluntary work. It was only when Naruto was deep into describing a case study he’d read about violence in a domestic setting, that Sasuke remembered what his first thought on waking up had been. He’d vowed today would be the day he spoke to Naruto. He couldn’t put it off any longer. He needed to reveal what he’d discovered after reading Suigetsu’s file on the orphan, Naruto Uzumaki.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all of you for continuing to read this story, you make me unbelievably happy with your comments and keep me inspired to grab any extra time I can to write.
> 
> I'll try not to keep you waiting too long for the next part x


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, this is a really longchapter but I didn't want to split it up into pieces, so big big thanks in advance for having the patience to read through all this. It contains lots of flashbacks and I hope that it all makes sense. There is mention of violence. I will be crossing my fingers and waiting for your feedback!

‘I’m still not getting this,’ Naruto said. ‘Why did you get Suigetsu to hack into my phone? Why didn’t you trust me? Why didn’t you talk to me yourself?’

Sasuke stared at the ceiling.  For exactly forty minutes they’d been stuck going over and over exactly the same thing. ‘As I’ve explained, Suigetsu took the research out on his own, I merely…’

‘You merely nothing, bastard!’ The anger and hurt were increasing in Naruto’s voice. None of Sasuke’s attempts at calming him down were working. ‘And my friends as well! My clients! Granny! You shat over all their privacy too, because little Sasuke’s giant ego couldn’t handle the fact that I’ve had sex with anyone before I met him!’

‘Not before, Naruto. You were having sex with people while we were…friends and…’

‘Yeah, while we were _friends_ , when you were too chickenshit, or proud, or ashamed, or whatever crappy emotion you want to label yourself with, to admit you’d fallen in love with a whore. And you know, because I told you, although that obviously wasn’t good enough and you needed Suigetsu who you trust more than me to back it up, that I stopped working even though financially it wrecked me and put pressure on Granny, before you told me you wanted me, because I knew I only wanted you,’ Naruto spurted the words out, barely breathing.

‘You keep mentioning trust, but this is not about trust, it’s…’

‘You spied on me! No, worse than that, you got the friend you fucked before you fucked me, who is in love with you, and has known you longer than me, and who knows everything about your business world that I don’t understand, who was the one who first showed you a video of me and who was your go between to get a date with me, because you’re way too high and mighty to approach an escort yourself, to spy on me! In what alternate world are you living in, where this is not about trust?’ Naruto’s fists were clenched and everything about his body language and voice screamed out that he wanted to be punching Sasuke, not talking to him.

‘Oh, so all this faux outrage comes down to you being jealous of Suigetsu?’

‘No, it comes down to you, after everything we’ve been through, still not being comfortable with me being an escort. Even though that is the only reason we met, because you wanted a quick emotionless hook up with someone you knew would be good at sex but sorry, it all went wrong, and you got me instead.’ Naruto stormed out of the room.

Sasuke took some deep breaths. Keeping calm through the exchange had been incredibly difficult. In all honesty, he hadn’t been completely successful, but with his and Naruto’s tempers things could have gone a lot worse. A thousand burning hells kind of worse. He knew this wasn’t going to be easy, but he hadn’t even actually got to say what he needed to say yet. Why had Naruto got so upset about him finding out more about his boyfriend’s past? If the positions had been reversed he wouldn’t have got angry, he’d have respected Naruto’s good sense in wanting to gather all the facts about the man he was committing his life to. For example, when Naruto had gone out to meet Neji on his own a couple of days ago, Sasuke had smiled and even managed to laugh occasionally at all the stories Naruto came back with. He’d borne a whole evening of: ‘Is it true that you said Neji appeared to be more closely related to a dead sheep than to you? ’ and ‘Neji was sooo winding me up when he said one year you made everyone work through every single public holiday?’ and ‘Neji thinks it’s really odd we’re together as he thinks you don’t like anyone but yourself.’ And while Naruto had been gone he’d only punched and kicked his way through two punchbags. Which was a miracle when he thought about it. But did the annoying yellow-head appreciate any of that? No.

Well, actually he had spent all night stroking and kissing Sasuke, chatting on even longer than he had about Neji, over how amazing and perfect Sasuke was and he couldn’t believe he’d been blessed with someone so open minded and understanding of his former profession.

But ignoring that…No, Sasuke _couldn’t_ ignore those thoughts. Naruto’s giving nature and his constant easy kindness were the foundation of their relationship. If Naruto overestimated Sasuke’s own generosity, it was up to Sasuke to meet the challenge, not to try and pull Naruto down to comprehending Sasuke’s level of petty insecurities and jealousies.

The wise part of him told him to leave Naruto to cool down and they could resume this important conversation later when they were both more prepared for it. Sasuke _could_ ignore those thoughts. He ran in the direction Naruto had stormed off in and found the yellow-head slumped, his head on his knees, sitting on the lower steps of the staircase looking as if he hadn’t had the energy or will to get any further.

Without looking up, Naruto said, ‘Is this all a lie, Sasuke? Or not a lie, yaknow, I believe you believe you love me at the moment. But, in reality, is it just like a holiday for you? Are you going to wake up one day and decide that you actually are the ball breaking businessman you always were before you met me? And that you’ve got no place in your life for an escort? Like, I’ve met rich kids before that like to play at being bohemian and pretending that they don’t have massive trust accounts or whatever. And some of them last at it for quite a while, but, in the end, they always return to the princess lifestyle they were born into.’

Sasuke sat down next to him and put an arm around Naruto’s shoulders. ‘What we’ve got together is in no way comparable to people trying on different identities. You are it for me. I don’t have a single doubt. Do you?’

Naruto shrugged. ‘No. But how many more of these bullshit stunts are you going to pull? How can I have faith in your love when you don’t trust me and lie to me?’

‘Listen to me. I was always going to tell you about what Suigetsu found out. That was the whole point, I have been delaying because it is so big and I needed to think about it myself, but it was just that, delaying, there was never an option that I wouldn’t tell you. And I never lie to you.’

Naruto sat up straight and stared at Sasuke with his big blue eyes. ‘Never? Promise.  On the honour of Ghost Itachi.’

Sasuke inhaled through his teeth. Now was not the time to argue with his boyfriend about how ridiculous, childish and wrong it was to swear promises on dead relatives. ‘Yes, I promise I’ve never lied to you, and never will lie to you, on the honour of Gh…’ Before Sasuke finished the sentence the image of his brother appeared before him solemnly shaking his head.

Sasuke swore under his breath. Before his sensible, logical, normal self could intervene, he blurted out the truth. ‘OK. I’ve never lied to you about anything important, but sometimes, like earlier today, I pretend I like your cooking, when the truth is it’s disgusting, and I have to force myself to eat it without vomiting.’

Naruto jumped to his feet, his hands were automatic fists and he gazed at Sasuke with hurt and shock as if Sasuke had just spit in his face. ‘That’s not important to you? The fact that all those nice things you said to me were made up is _not_ important to you?’

‘I said them because I care for you so much, and I wanted you to be happy because I see how hard you try with your cooking and…’

‘How many of the other nice things you say to me are just a cover for when I’m doing something that actually makes you want to puke?’ Naruto growled. ‘How can I believe anything you say?’

Sasuke covered his face with his hands. Why was this going so wrong? And he hadn’t even got to the things that he’d been worrying would distress his boyfriend.

‘Enough of this.’ With sudden determination he grabbed Naruto’s hand and pulled him upstairs.

Naruto pulled backward, and they got stuck in a very ungraceful tugging competition which the yellow-head won, yanking Sasuke down off the stairs and into the hall. Sasuke responded in pure frustration, using his old martial arts techniques to knock Naruto off balance and throw him over his shoulder, locking him down in a fireman’s lift. He ran up the stairs before his boyfriend could effectively fight back. He could weather the thumping on his back and Naruto’s screaming.

‘This is not how you apologise for being a total and utter dick! Yeah, you hold me like this for as long as you can, because when you put me down I am going to beat the living crap out of you for this, Bastard!’

Tensing his body in preparation for the promised attack, he put his boyfriend down outside a room at the back of the house. He dodged Naruto’s three attempts at punches, though not the kick in his groin which took all the breath from his body and bent him double.

Surprisingly Naruto caught his shoulders and held him gently, his voice softened and apologetic. ‘Sorry, doll face, I didn’t mean to get you so hard, I thought you’d get out of the way like you did with the punches. Even though you are soooo not getting any today…or rather tomorrow as you’ve already got some today so that’s a dumb punishment…I definitely didn’t mean to really hurt you, and especially not there. Are you really hurt? Stay here, I’ll get you some ice.’

Through eyes stinging with tears he was desperately trying not to shed, Sasuke watched his boyfriend dash off. With effort he opened the door and collapsed down on a chair. Naruto returned with ice cubes wrapped in a tea towel which he pressed into Sasuke’s groin. Sasuke managed to hide his wince and was finally able to speak again.

‘Naruto, I’ve still got a lot I need to tell you. Is it possible to make a rule that any further attacks on my groin are strictly off limits?’

‘It was an accident, well, not a normal accident as I did like kick you, but, yaknow, I wasn’t expecting to actually land a blow. I guess I thought you were faster than you are, but I should know I am better than you at everything. So yeah, I don’t want to hurt you even when I really, really feel angry like I want to hurt you, I don’t actually want to…’

Sasuke held a hand up. His boyfriend’s explanations could easily take up the rest of the day. ‘I understand.’ He took a deep breath. ‘If you’re calm enough to listen to what I need to say then let me continue to explain what I found out from Suigetsu.’

Naruto’s face took on its pouty stubborn look. He folded his arms. ‘I know who I’ve had sex with. I don’t need to listen to your friend’s opinions on my clients.’

‘It’s not about that.’

‘Really?’ Naruto raised an eyebrow with a look of contemptuous disbelief that would make any Uchiha proud.

Sasuke stood up next to his boyfriend and put his hands on Naruto’s arms. ‘I didn’t want to be the guy who needed to quiz you on everyone you’d have sex with. But meeting people, like Neji, who I know and who you know under different circumstances, well, surely you can see it is better if I have warning how often that is going to happen?’

Naruto’s bottom lip stuck out. ‘What I’m hearing is that you don’t want to be the guy who talks to his boyfriend, but you’re perfectly happy to be the guy who spies on his boyfriend. You know what I’m not hearing, an apology.’

‘I know how important client confidentiality is, I didn’t want you to be in a position where you’re split between your sense of honour and dealing with my needs as your partner.’

‘Oh, don’t give me that bull, how dumb do you think I am? You went behind my back for my own benefit? Fuck, Sasuke, you’re just making me even more angry.’ Naruto growled.

Sasuke gritted his teeth and barely restrained himself from responding to Naruto’s growling with his own snarling. If he went that way they’d both give into their animal natures and end up rolling about on the floor either trying to kill each other or fuck each other. Probably both. Sasuke managed to turn his snarl into a groan of frustration in equal measures directed at his boyfriend’s lack of understanding, and at the immediate awakening of his cock at just the vaguest thought of fucking Naruto. Now was _not_ the time.

With an exterior at least resembling calm, Sasuke went over to the wall and took a painting of a child playing with a kitten off the wall to reveal the safe behind. ‘I know you can’t be normal, but please try and be less un-normal for a while.’

‘And what’s the normal reaction to having a psycho stalker-y boyfriend? I suspect dumping him. So, you still want me to be normal, honeybuns?’ Naruto came and stood beside him as Sasuke dialled the number into the safe. His arms were still crossed, and his face pouty, but his eyes were wide with delight. He saw Sasuke noticed and tried for a moment to narrow them into a fiercer expression, but almost immediately gave up. ‘Just because I always find it really cool you’ve got like a hidden-safe-thing behind paintings like in cool spy films, does not mean I am any less angry with you.’ He looked around. ‘What is this room by the way? We’ve never been in here before, have we? And why are we here now when I’ve got so, so much more shouting at you to do? What’s so important about what is in this safe that you have to show me right now? Oh, hell, it’s going to be fricking Suigetsu’s report, isn’t it? All hidden away where I wouldn’t find it by accident when we’re playing one of our hide and seek games. I am not in the mood for this right now. Actually, I am never going to be in the mood for this.’

Naruto turned away and started stomping towards the door. Sasuke grabbed his hand and in one smooth movement put the ring he’d taken out of the safe on his finger. Naruto stopped dead and stared down at it, mouth hanging open.

‘What’s that?’

‘The stone is so rare that very few people even know that it exists. My family owned a mine that found this one piece more than a hundred years ago.  It has been kept in a vault since then as no one was brave enough to wear it in case it was a target for thieves. I had it set in a ring for you because as soon as I knew I was going to ask you to marry me, I knew it was the only thing that was good enough for you. Kakashi has advised we either increase security when you wear it, or preferably have it known that it is just a special cut of topaz. Of course, there will likely be suspicions, there are still people who’ve heard rumours about the Uchiha’s possession of…’

‘I’m going to ask you again, what’s that?’ Naruto boomed the last two words out in his loudest foghorn voice.

‘It’s an engagement ring, Naruto. I want you to marry me. There’s been enough uncertainty between us, I want it to be clear that I am dedicated to you for the rest of my life and beyond.’

Naruto gazed down wide eyed at the ring.

Sasuke swallowed several times before he continued speaking. ‘I admit seeing Neji spurred me into contacting Suigetsu. But it wasn’t quite how you’re viewing it. Suigetsu told me a long time ago he had a file on you, and as you were going to become my husband, I did not want anyone to know more about you than I did.’

Naruto’s mouth was working but he still wasn’t saying anything.

‘And it turns out that Suigetsu…and Kakashi…and who knows who else, assumed I knew things about you that I didn’t.’

Naruto wiped his hand across the back of his eyes, big tears were falling down his cheeks.  He collapsed down on the floor leaning against the wall below the safe. Sasuke dropped down on his knees in front of him.

‘That wasn’t my proposal. I’m sorry. I’ll do it properly at a more suitable time and place. Definitely not in the middle of an argument. It wasn’t even what I was meaning to get out of the safe. I think my temper did get the better of me in the end and I wanted you to know I am serious about you and from my perspective I only see our relationship getting stronger and more committed.’ He moved to take the ring back off Naruto. Naruto quickly snatched his hand away, putting the other one protectively on top of it.

‘You can fuck right off if you think you can put a ring on my finger and then tell me that wasn’t your proposal! We’ve already been through all this with you taking ages to find the perfect place to have sex, then deciding we could just have sex where we started! No way am I going through that again.’

‘Are you…are you saying you want to keep my ring?’ Sasuke rubbed his own eyes as he realised he too had begun to cry.

 ‘That’s exactly what I’m saying.’

‘You’re accepting my proposal?’

‘You just said it wasn’t a proposal,’ Naruto snapped.

Sasuke moved so he was on one knee, he tried to take Naruto’s hand in his, but the yellow-head stubbornly kept them tucked out of Sasuke’s reach. He tugged for as long as he could without losing whatever remnants of dignity that he had left in his boyfriend’s eyes. He had to give up on the hands. Instead he bowed down and kissed each of Naruto’s feet.

‘Idiot, you are the best thing that has ever happened in my life. It took me a long time to accept it, but in my heart, I knew on that first date as soon as I saw you climbing over my gate that I wanted you more than I’d ever wanted anyone. You’ve changed everything about my life and made me rethink at every level what kind of person I am. Will you please consider granting me the greatest honour of my life and marrying me?’

Sasuke’s heart thumped, his fingers were quivering with nerves. Why was he so scared? Naruto had been the one who always spoke as if it was assumed that the two of them would get married. He’d called Sasuke his little wife.  But he’d also, and more frequently, called Sasuke things like ‘glitterdick’ and ‘sugarballs’ so perhaps being referred to as a ‘wife’ wasn’t the reassurance that Sasuke was desperately searching for right now as he waited for Naruto to reply.

‘That was a proposal,’ Sasuke said quietly. ‘Are you going to say anything?’

‘I’m not going to say yes.’ Naruto said.

Sasuke concentrated all his energy on not slumping to a heap on the floor.

‘I understand,’ he managed to say.

Naruto leant forward and rubbed Sasuke’s tears away with his thumb. ‘Do you? I’m not going to say yes today.’

‘Yes. I got that clearly. You don’t have to keep repeating it.’

‘I’m not going to say yes _today_.’ Naruto infuriatingly repeated.

Sasuke glared at him. And then something did click in his brain. ‘So, I do need to ask you again another day. Like I said to begin with the time wasn’t right. But you insisted on humiliating me and saying you weren’t going to wait when all along you intended to…’

‘Woah! Slow down, cowboy, before you start accusing me of things you know in your heart aren’t true, and I get all angry again.’ He smiled one of his softest smiles. ‘I’m not saying no today either, babes. I just need to let a few things sink in, I’m not over the shock of you lying to me about loving my cooking, when you push this massive ring on my finger. You know how much I really, really hate you, I hate you a zillion times more than that right now for twisting all my emotions up and making me not care about anything apart from the fact you’re going to become Mr. Sasuke Uzumaki. I’d like been planning to sulk at you for at least another hour, or until I got one of your amazing foot massages.’

Naruto put his arms around Sasuke’s neck and gave him one of his unique kisses that managed to somehow be both tender and passionate. They fell sideways. Or rather Naruto pulled him down, so they were lying facing each other on the floor. Naruto’s hand snaked under Sasuke’s top and was trailing over his abs. He didn’t know if Naruto was doing it on purpose, but Sasuke was acutely aware of how often the new ring pressed against his bare skin.

‘You’re my fiancé,’ Sasuke whispered. He’d been thinking the words as he stared into those beautiful blue eyes. He was surprised to hear himself say them aloud and his cheeks flushed, though he tried to assume his Uchiha mask of nonchalance waiting for Naruto to state yet again that he hadn’t said yes.

‘You’re my fiancé,’ Naruto whispered back. ‘Not officially right, just between us until I give you a proper yes.  But do you find that as super sexy as I do?’

Naruto pressed his body against Sasuke’s, he could feel the heat of his boyfriend’s…no, his new fiancé’s skin through his clothes. Naruto kissed Sasuke’s neck. Sasuke rolled onto his back to give him better access to his sensitive areas. It was clear despite the anger and misunderstandings of earlier this was only going to go one way. Naruto responded hungrily, his kisses turning into bites as he worked down Sasuke’s chest finding Sasuke’s nipples beneath the material of his shirt

Sasuke put his hands above his head and sighed with pleasure. But this wasn’t right. He’d done an unplanned proposal. But he’d failed to say what he needed to. He straightened himself out, summoning the willpower to gently push Naruto away from him.

‘This was my mother’s room. I never knew what she did in here, but she came here when she didn’t want to be disturbed,’ Sasuke said.

Naruto, to his credit, only looked slightly baffled by the interruption of their making out for Sasuke to say this.

Sasuke stood up and went back to the safe. ‘Everything has come together at once. I read Suigetsu’s reports. I spoke to Kakashi. I was looking for somewhere to hide this ring.’ He closed his eyes for a moment. ‘Itachi dealt with everything after my parents died. He sorted through all their things. Even though now when I look back on it now from an older perspective, he was so young. When I…after Itachi died, I had a bit of a mad period where I destroyed everything. But I couldn’t get into this one safe. There was no code for it left anywhere. And I wasn’t going to hire anyone to break into it, so it just got left forgotten. I came back to it when I was searching for a hiding place, and I opened it straight away.’ Sasuke bit his lip. With everything they’d gone through, he knew he and Naruto were strong together. There was no reason to pause. ‘The key was your birthday. And all that was inside was three of my mother’s journals and one photo.’ He took the things out and sat down beside Naruto. He passed the photo to Naruto and waited staring ahead as his new fiancé looked at it.

He didn’t need to look at the image, it was engraved in his mind. It looked like the perfect family group in the perfect beach setting. A tall man with a kind patient smile his arms encompassing a laughing woman with long red hair and three children. Two of the children had identical dark hair and dark eyes, the third and the smallest had bright yellow hair and amazing blue eyes. The children stood close to each other holding each other’s hands, all of them looking happy, but none as happy as the yellow-head who was gazing at the dark-haired child nearest his height with absolute adoration.

‘What does this mean, Sasuke?’ Naruto’s voice was low and serious.

Without looking Sasuke turned the photo over, on the back was written in neat almost calligraphic handwriting, ‘If only I had been braver.’

‘I’m not understanding,’ Naruto said. ‘Who’s in the photo? Is it who I think it is?’

‘It’s who you know it is.’ Sasuke took the photo and put it to the side. He opened the first journal. ‘Some pages have been torn out. She doesn’t ever put any dates in, but it is clear there were more journals that she or someone else destroyed. There is more than enough for it to make sense though. You don’t need to read it all. Most of it is irrelevant to you. But you should probably read the first couple of entries for some background.’

Naruto stared at Sasuke not the book that Sasuke had placed open on his lap.

‘I’m not comfortable reading your mother’s private diary. Can you just simply summarise it for me. Please, baby.’

‘Do you remember when I first told you about Itachi?’

‘Of course.’

‘How difficult it was for me. How confused everything I said was. How much I cried. I’ve only been able to look through once. I’m not clear on the details. It’s better you read it yourself. Trust me.’

Naruto met his gaze for a moment longer then he nodded and looked down. Sasuke sucked his lips into a mouth, breathed deeply and then read alongside his boyfriend.

***

 

_It has been a long time since I wrote anything down. I do not know where to begin. Or what to say. Perhaps I should explain why I am doing this. While waiting for Sasuke to have his monthly check up, I read an article in one of those glossy magazines lying about how important it is for women to find their own space separate from being mothers and wives. One of their suggestions was to write a diary. I laughed internally at the stupidity of any mother or wife having time to find ‘their own space’, and then I thought how much it’d enrage Fugaku to think of me writing a diary._

_And so here I am. A wife and a mother of two children writing a diary to rebel against her husband who’ll never find out about it._

_Doing what he does, he needs to be so alert to survive. And he doesn’t just survive, he prospers. So, I wonder if he noticed how hurt I felt when he moved me into a separate bedroom? I know how he thinks. My job is done in that department. I have produced one genius son, and now a second back up. My focus needs to be on raising them and keeping a good house. Is it strange that I’d rather he was having an affair, lots of affairs, then be married to this sexless creature who passionlessly rejects me as if there was never any heat or fire between us?_

 

***

 

Sasuke quickly turned some pages. ‘I’ll summarise that part for you. I did not read it properly myself, but it is about how my parents used to be attracted to each other and work together, and my father trusted my mother’s advice, but after she became pregnant he changed towards to her.’

‘Yep. A few words caught my eyes. Enough for me to know I don’t want to be reading about the details of your parents’ sex life.’

Sasuke traced his finger across the new page. ‘This is just an entry about how my father preferred Itachi to me, so also unnecessary.’

But Naruto stopped him flicking onwards. ‘I want to read about little you and Ghost Itachi when he was just Itachi.’

‘Hnnnn.’ Sasuke put his hands in his lap and let Naruto read the pages.

 

***

 

_In the outside world, by which I mean everywhere beyond Sasuke’s nursery, I am either Fugaku’s wife, or, as is becoming increasingly the case, Itachi’s mother. Both of these titles are supposed to be things I am proud of. But they are both distant from me. My marriage to Fugaku was planned by our parents before I’d truly distinguished him from any of my other male cousins, he’s admitted he was similarly ignorant about who I was. And Itachi. What can I say about my first-born son?_

_Nothing that others haven’t already. He is a genius. He is a prodigy. Supremely gifted both as an athlete and an intellect. I do not even understand the titles of the awards he is winning. Fugaku, who is so careful with our public image and the level of our public profile, is ecstatic (he smiles) when some curious journalist wants to do an article on his son. He even considered for a whole evening the offer of a documentary which would involve film makers in our house asking personal questions. His love for Itachi is the one thing that breaks through his coldness and makes him at least seem human. In contrast I look at Itachi, and I do not feel proud, I feel old and stupid. He does not need me, he does not feel connected to me, I barely know what to talk to him about, our conversations are awkward and stilted. On my part. He is like Fugaku he shows little interest in anyone around him. Is it wrong that I feel sad for him? That my heart aches thinking how lonely he must be, (Fugaku chooses all his ‘friends,’ other carefully selected child prodigies, the most favoured of which is an older boy called Kakashi who is controlled enough to be born an Uchiha), that I wish his IQ wasn’t the highest possible, but lower so that he enjoyed children’s books with bright pictures instead of discussing the financial news with his father._

 

***

 

Naruto looked up. ‘Kakashi was Itachi’s friend? You’ve never mentioned that.’

‘I didn’t, I don’t remember. I understood him to have some sort of undisclosed secret military background that I wasn’t to pry into, and I had the impression that Itachi had sought him out and trusted him, but they never seemed incredibly close. I was at first surprised he worked for me after Itachi’s death, but he proved immediately that he was loyal to me.’ Sasuke squeezed Naruto’s hand. ‘You’ll see there’s a lot I don’t remember.’

‘You sure you want me to carry on reading this?’

Sasuke nodded.

They turned their heads back to his mother’s writing.

 

***

 

_I am grateful for Sasuke. But even that is difficult. We were watching television together, some inane children’s show which was making him laugh. The presenter started holding up shapes and Sasuke shouted out ‘toyangle’ for every single one. I clapped my hands and told him how clever he was. What I said exactly was ‘You are the cleverest little boy in all the whole wide world.’_

_What my husband, who had crept up behind us without me noticing and had been watching and judging for I don’t know how long, exactly said was, ‘And you are the stupidest woman any man could be burdened with as the mother of his children.’_

_I don’t have the energy to write down his whole tirade against me. The basics were how I was responsible for Sasuke’s lack of mental progression by my patronising attitude. How dare a mother praise her son when he’s mispronouncing a word and is not even able to identify basic shapes, because of my maternal idiocy Sasuke is doomed to go through life forever calling every object a ‘toyangle’ and expecting praise for it, at the same age Itachi was doing calculus while standing on his head and bare arm wrestling a tiger, etc, etc._

_If I’d remained in a respectful silence as a good Uchiha wife should, Fugaku would no doubt have felt satisfied that he had reprimanded me like a good Uchiha husband should and the day would have continued as normal. But for some reason I really don’t know why, I shouted back at him. Informing him in no uncertain terms that Sasuke was incredibly advanced for his age, not being up to Itachi’s level was in no way a sign of failure. And that if he treated his other child like his child rather than a backup, already fated to be second in command to Itachi, he would see how amazing Sasuke was, rather than continually picking apart the things he couldn’t do._

_The result was that all televisions have been taken out of all our homes as I cannot be trusted to monitor what my children watch any longer. Fugaku decided to show me how much interest he had in the upbringing of his second child by personally inspecting all the books and toys I’ve brought for Sasuke and deeming them all to be wasteful and useless. Sasuke was forced to watch in tears as his parents argued over throwing out all his favourite things. Seeing his youngest son crying did not create any empathy in my husband, instead such an open display of weakness aggravated Fugaku further. He didn’t even pass the things onto a charity collection but made a bonfire out of them and tried to force Sasuke to light the fire. I do not know if the poor child was scared of the match or grieving the fact his beloved Tigger teddy was going to be burnt, but he wailed and refused as his father’s anger increased and increased until finally Itachi lost patience and lit the fire himself._

_That is my family life._

***

 

‘Hell, baby, I don’t know what I was expecting, but what kind of monster burns his son’s Tigger Teddy?’ Naruto asked with wide eyed shock.

‘The same kind of man that desires power so much that he was willing to try and overthrow a government?’ Sasuke gave a sad smile.

‘I’m glad you don’t remember any of this shit; this stuff would scar you for life.’ Naruto nuzzled his head against Sasuke’s shoulder followed by a long smooch that was almost enough to make Sasuke forget the diary they were reading.

Sasuke forced himself to pull back. ‘I’m not averse to you showing me sympathy if it takes the form of kisses, but you and I are both well educated in the fact that a dominating father who takes away a rich kid’s toys is a long way from the worst thing a parent can do.’

Naruto shook his head. ‘Hey, it doesn’t work like that, it’s not a comparison, or scale of pain thing, where you’re not allowed to feel upset because other people have it worse. If someone hurts you, they hurt you.’

He looked away from Naruto’s blue eyes, they were so open and genuine, and at this moment filled with a real anger at Sasuke’s father for something that happened beyond Sasuke’s memory. What would happen when he knew it all? Sasuke swallowed and skipped forward a few pages. It was time to find out.

***

 

_Fugaku has decided that Sasuke spends too much time with me and has hired the person that mentored Itachi’s friend, Kakashi. Any chance I had to avoid this was ruined by me pointing out that it was not Uchiha policy to let anyone have a place in our household who was not family or known to the family for at least one generation. I admit I enjoyed being smug and playing the part of the one giving lectures about safety and security. But I will pay for that moment of revelling in annoying my husband by having a stranger in the household for the rest of Sasuke’s childhood. Why couldn’t I just hold my tongue? I have for long enough. If I had remained silent, Fugaku would have realised how unwise it was himself, he is a stickler for Uchiha traditions. But now he will feel he has to go through with it as he’ll consider it weakness to listen to me. Oh, for those days when I truly thought Fugaku was different from other Uchiha men and we would be equal partners._

_And now all the un-Uchiha sensitivity and sweetness I see in my youngest son will be seared away, leaving a clone of his father and brother._

***

There were two whole pages that had been scored completely through, leaving holes in those pages and the ones beneath them. Sasuke flicked to the next fully legible entry.

 

_In theory, this man called Minato now has more control and authority over my son than I do. In practise, Fugaku has been entranced with him in a way that I’ve never seen before. In a short time, Minato now knows more about what Fugaku does day to day then I do. He is more of a bodyguard to Fugaku and Itachi than he is tutor to Sasuke. I tried to speak in more reasoned tones to my husband about how quickly he’s trusting this stranger, but Fugaku was even colder and angrier than when I had an all-out screaming fight with him. I do not know who he is. Or who I am anymore._

_I may as well write it down. I am attracted to Minato in a manner perhaps as strong, though entirely different to Fugaku. He has such a powerful muscular body but is so unassuming. He is embarrassed by all the responsibilities Fugaku is pushing onto him rather than actively seeking them, murmuring that he is really only a tutor. He is such a different sort of man. But ironically the thing that makes my heart ache for him is how he treats his wife. Kushina, is in truth, more Sasuke’s carer than Minato. I hated the fact that as part of obtaining Minato’s services (which I didn’t want anyway) she had to move in with us alongside her husband and had a petty jealousy that I still am ashamed of for the fact she is heavily pregnant, and I will never have another child._

_Kushina is brash, bossy and loud. Everything I am repulsed by in a person. But Minato treats her like she is the gentlest, kindest and most respectful wife a man could dream of. More than once I’ve accidentally come across them in parts of the house kissing like teenagers and oblivious to everything but each other. And as I’m admitting some, I might as well admit all, I have used my old skills that Fugaku used to compliment me on, to sneak up on and purposely spy on the couple. However bad tempered Kushina is, Minato is permanently patient and understanding. He asks detailed questions about her pregnancy and negotiates with Fugaku to go with Kushina whenever she has even the most basic check-up. Fugaku remarked to me that Minato’s weakness is how much he indulges his wife, but he said it in a warm voice, very different from how he chastises his small son for being attached to a teddy. If Minato wasn’t such a beautiful person, I’d truly hate him for how much Fugaku allows him to do compared with everyone else in this household. But Minato is beautiful._

_At night alone in my room I dream of_

***

Naruto quickly turned the pages himself without any need for Sasuke to intervene. Sasuke nestled closer to Naruto to read the new section he’d arrived at. The next few entries were short, just a few sentences on each page.

***

_Sasuke is smitten with Kushina. He loves putting his ear on her stomach and feeling for the movements of the baby. He reads the maths textbooks that are the only books Fugaku has allowed him to the bump. But when he thought I was gone he closed the book and started making up his own stories. I wanted to hug him close and tell him I wasn’t like his father; I’d never shout at him for having an imagination. Instead I quietly crept away and left him chatting away to Kushina and the unborn baby in the way he used to talk to me._

***

_Minato took Sasuke to the hospital with him and Kushina to see the baby on the Ultrasound. Sasuke came home crying, overflowing with how he’d seen the baby move and heard the heartbeat. I’m such a bitter person that I was tempted to tell tales to Fugaku, when I was pregnant he’d kept Itachi away from me saying it was woman’s business. I hope it was love of my son being so happy that prevented me, rather than knowledge of how much it’d hurt when Fugaku praised Minato for doing something he’d never have accepted in me._

***

_Sasuke is scared to leave Kushina’s side in case the baby is born while he’s out of sight. They are letting him sleep in their room. Fugaku is full of gratitude for Minato being so patient and giving so much time to training his son. As soon as I brought my babies home from the hospital they were put in a separate room and left to cry until they learnt to be on their own and ‘the proper routine for feeding and sleeping’._

***

_The birth was horrendous. I can still barely breathe. There was an attack on our home. An actual attack on our home. It’s been so long since I’ve been in physical danger that I almost panicked. But my body remembered. I killed two men on the way to Itachi without pausing or feeling anything. All I cared about was getting my children and escaping. In Itachi’s room there were four bodies on the floor and my son and Kakashi were covered in blood. None of it their own. Kakashi explained quickly that he was a child assassin and Fugaku had hired him to protect Itachi. There was no time for me to be shocked about the idea of a child assassin in our home and one that was obviously so capable. I tried to pick my son up, but Itachi jumped away from him and said that him and Kakashi could escape better on their own and that I needed to check Minato had managed to protect Sasuke. The two of them were out of the window before I could protest._

_It is strange how clear your mind can work in the middle of chaos. I suddenly understand all the little clues that should have been obvious immediately if I hadn’t been a child sulking over feeling rejected. Fugaku was in trouble and had not wanted to worry me.  He had separated himself from me to give himself space to try and work things out without me noticing the stress we were under. Minato was no more an ordinary tutor than Kakashi was an ordinary friend. He’d gone outside the traditional family routes for protection because he was that desperate._

_I saw Minato fighting alongside my husband. He was incredibly fast and made Fugaku look like an old, untrained man. I could not pause to admire him though as if Minato was here it meant Sasuke was unprotected._

_I was wrong. I finally found Sasuke in my room with Kushina. She took advantage of the distraction of my arrival to finish off the two people she was fighting, a blade slit across one of the men’s throats, the other had his head bashed down on the corner of my dressing table. Sasuke ran into my arms. He was pale, his eyes wide and terrified, his skin clammy and trembling. He felt so small I was overwhelmed with the desire to just fall to my knees and cry and beg his forgiveness for the world I had birthed him into. Kushina grabbed my hand and started running. Whereas an Uchiha would have despised my moment of weakness, the brief seconds in which our eyes met there was nothing but empathy and understanding over the grief of being a mother in this painful world. I felt such a kinship with her that I’m angry with myself for being cold and distant with her since her arrival when she could’ve been my friend through these lonely weeks._

_Kushina led us out as if it was her home and Sasuke and I were the guests. She hid rather than engaged when we heard footsteps or saw suspicious shadows. I wondered if this was an order from Fugaku to get his son out safety rather than face danger? But I suspect it was her own choice. She was so nimble and in control that when she collapsed half way across the lawn, I was surprised, she’d been moving so easily that I assumed she had no injuries and that she was a type of superwoman that could ignore the obtrusion of her pregnancy bump._

_I put Sasuke down and leaned over to help her up._

_She whispered to me, ‘I’m sorry, Mikoto. I took a blow to the belly. The pain is too much. I can’t go on. It’s been beautiful spending time with you and your sons. Keep them safe.’_

_Kushina’s idea of whispering was loud enough for Sasuke to hear. He immediately ran to her side and put his head on her stomach and started talking to the baby, ‘Be strong, keep fighting, I know you’re a fighter. We have to meet each other properly. You have to be okay.’_

_His voice was clear on the cold night and the determination of what he was saying amazed me as much as how quickly he’d understood the peril the unborn child was in. It wasn’t just my son that made me take the imprudent action of struggling to help Kushina to her feet though, it was the way she had pronounced my name, the way I believed her completely when she said ‘it’s been beautiful spending time with you’, even though I was never aware of once treating her like a friend._

_We stumbled a few more steps across the lawn before Kushina collapsed again._

_‘Go! You need to look after Sasuke,’ she said in her bossiest voice._

_‘We’re looking after you and Naruto,’ Sasuke said._

_‘Naruto?’ I questioned having no idea what my son was referring to._

_Despite her too obvious pain, Kushina laughed. ‘Has Sasuke not told you? Naruto is his favourite food at the moment, so that is obviously the name of my baby.’_

_In all seriousness, Sasuke told me, ‘I thought you’d think it was stupid, but the baby kicks whenever I talk to him about food, so I’ve named him Naruto.’_

_Kushina was going to say more, but instead she rolled in pain putting her arm in her mouth to muffle her scream of pain. Finally, she managed to say, ‘Please go. Leave me to luck. I’ve always been lucky. Look at my amazing husband! But please, I cannot bear for Sasuke and you to be in danger.’_

_We stayed._

_I’m not sure how much good we did, but somehow it could not be any other way. I talked to Kushina, talked more than I had in my whole life about I have no idea what. Sasuke spoke to the bump continually telling it they were going to be best friends and so it needed to stay healthy and be strong. I took my outer clothes off and put them around Kushina to try and keep her warm.  Sasuke insisted on taking his jacket off and putting it under her head for a pillow. We were outside shivering for hours, it felt like the night would never end. But it did and when it did I wished it was still dark so Sasuke wouldn’t be able to see the pool of blood around Kushina’s thighs._

_Then Minato arrived. He was running from the opposite direction of the house. Things moved quickly when he appeared. He tried to move Kushina, but as soon as he reassured her ‘the threat had been dealt with’, she let out all her screams and I realised how truly strong she was to have suppressed her pain through the long night. Minato gave me instructions and I ignored the numbness of my body to race to the house and collect all the necessary things. Now I knew it was safe I wanted to take Sasuke with me, but he looked at me with his dark eyes and said it was impossible for him to leave his friend._

_I moved as quickly as I could, but when I returned the baby had already been born. I could barely look at it, I was so certain it would be dead. But my little son Sasuke was smiling and saying, ‘Look, Naruto, likes it when I tickle his feet.’ And I forced myself to look and there were tiny little feet which were moving and really did seem to be moving towards Sasuke for more attention whenever he stopped tickling them._

_So, somehow, we got a happy ending. Minato is an incredible human being who can deliver a baby after a night of intense fighting. Kushina is unbelievably strong and determined and selfless, always thinking of me and Sasuke even when her own life was on the edge. And Naruto is a miracle baby who was born in the middle of our lawn after a night of violence and murder. I will confirm that as amazing as Minato and Kushina have shown themselves to be, they have truly chosen the name of their child (and a note of sadness the doctor confirmed it will be their only child) based entirely on what my youngest non-genius son wanted. The baby is actually, officially named Naruto now._

_Kushina is still recovering with Uchiha doctors caring for her. Minato does not appear to be sleeping at all as he fulfils his duties in the clean-up and retribution that no doubt my husband is planning and looks after a new born child and my own Sasuke who if anything is even more devoted to the baby now it’s in the world. Being vomited over, cried at (though in truth it is noticeable that Naruto doesn’t cry much when Sasuke is with him), and seeing how the little thing has no bowel control, has not put him off one iota. Instead he is prouder than either of the parents. ‘Look how much bright yellow hair he has, none of the other babies at the check-up had as much hair as him.’ ‘Listen, he’s laughing, babies aren’t supposed to laugh yet, but he’s laughing and smiling. He’s going to be a genius like Itachi.’ ‘Tickle his feet, he loves having his feet tickled. No, not like that, you’re doing it wrong, like this.’_

_When he sees me now Minato hugs me as a greeting and does not stop thanking me. Is it wrong that I notice how muscular his body is when he holds me? Yes. But I can’t stop doing it._

_Needless to say, Fugaku’s reaction is not the same as Kushina’s husband. His anger has so many causes that sometimes he becomes speechless with how insurmountable it is. I didn’t protect Itachi but allowed him and Kakashi to run off on their own. With all my history I was only able to take two of the attackers out. I didn’t take Sasuke to a hide-out but remained in the middle of the lawn with a woman who even injured had more sense than me and was begging for me to look after my own son. And the thing that for some reason makes him most furious, I let Sasuke take his jacket off and left him shivering all through the night._

_‘They are here to serve us!’ Fugaku shouts. ‘They die for us! That is what they’re paid for. You do not risk my son getting pneumonia for the life of a servant and her unborn brat!’_

_The first time he hit me I was shocked more than hurt. He was too. He couldn’t bring himself to apologise, but he went pale and left me immediately. The next time we were both more mentally prepared and the beating went on for longer. And now how quickly we’ve got into the routine of it. He never hits me as hard as he could, and I show my gratitude for this restraint by never defending myself. We don’t talk about it. My bruises are never visible, apart from one time I tripped and knocked my head on the corner of the coffee table. And that was my fault for being clumsy._

_I bump into Minato as often as I can without it looking too obvious and I take the memory of his smiles and warmth and hugs to bed with me and never think about my legal husband._

***

‘Wow,’ Naruto breathed. ‘Wow.’

They were silent for some time. Naruto gazed down at the page, but it was clear he wasn’t reading anymore.

‘This is me, right? This is me that’s just been born?’ He finally asked.

‘How many Narutos with bright yellow hair do you think there are in the world?’ Sasuke’s voice sounded sharper than he meant it, reflecting the tension and nervousness of reading through his mother’s diary again rather than his feelings for his fiancé.

But Naruto grinned. ‘So, I have you to blame for my foot fetish then? All that tickling from the moment I was born; my poor senses never stood a chance. You should be giving me foot massages every hour to make up for it.’ Then his grin faded. ‘What happened, sugar?’ He closed his eyes and then slowly opened them. ‘How did my parents die?’

Sasuke took the journal away from Naruto. ‘You don’t need to read any more of this. It is mostly about my mother…my mother being beaten by my father.’ He didn’t know why his voice faltered, it was a long time ago and they were both gone now. ‘And her crush on Minato, alongside her becoming good friends with Kushina. She mentions me spending all the time I can with you and how she has to force me to work and not just trail about playing with you and feeding you…’

‘Feeding me?’

‘Yes. Your mother was ill for a long time and it seems Minato let me feed you your bottle like kids can feed baby animals at a petting zoo I suppose. And when you were weaned you apparently liked me feeding you your mushed-up food better than anyone else.’

‘Wow. I’m going to ignore that bit about me being like a baby goat or whatever to you, because I just can’t get over the fact we knew each other and neither of us remembers. Why didn’t you tell me this as soon as you found out, bastard? This is really big stuff.’

The last thing he wanted was to get into another argument with Naruto about lying and trustworthiness. Sasuke avoided answering the question by picking up the next journal and flicked through it.

‘This has a lot about your father in it. To be specific my mother’s fantasies about your father. I don’t know if you want to read it or not.’

Naruto took the journal off Sasuke with a wide grin. ‘Us Uzumaki men are like sex magnets to you Uchiha babes, aren’t we?’

Sasuke’s cheeks burned and he was _almost_ relieved when Naruto put the journal to the side and declared, ‘Now we’ve started this, I really want to know what happened to my parents. For so long I didn’t think I did, but now it’s a possibility…’ Naruto’s voice faded away, but he gazed at Sasuke with his big blue beseeching eyes.

‘Like I said, there seems to be something missing, I’m not sure exactly how much time has passed as she never mentions dates or ages, but you’re not a baby anymore.’ He passed Naruto the last journal and flipped it open to a page near the middle. ‘This journal contains what you want, this is a good place to start.’

Naruto squeezed his hand. ‘Thank you.’

Sasuke’s heart hurt. He wasn’t sure this was something Naruto should be thanking him for.

***

_I was surprised that Fugaku let Kushina take the boys to the beach house. He has been complaining that Sasuke is behind on everything, whereas in fact he is ahead on everything, he is just behind where Itachi was at the same age. But Minato politely asked Fugaku what he thought of the new trend for building strength and stamina with beach running and training in water, and whether he considered Itachi and Sasuke were fit enough to benefit from it? And that was enough for Fugaku to suddenly begin insisting that they went to the beach and spent longer there then Kushina had originally requested._

_Or maybe he wanted the opportunity to have me alone. He has kept Minato and Kushina as part of our household long after the initial threat he surreptitiously hired them for under the guise of needing tutors for Sasuke. But here they still are, acting like real tutors and trainers for Sasuke and Itachi, and doing who knows what work for Fugaku. I shouldn’t trust either of them as they are clearly Fugaku’s employees, not my friends. But it doesn’t feel like that and hasn’t since that awful night of the attack and Naruto’s birth. As careful as Fugaku is, there are days when Minato has looked at me differently, concern in his eyes, and Kushina has actually asked me in what for her is probably a discrete manner. Fugaku knows their true skill set far better than I do, but for them to be still with us these years later, surely whatever he values in them means they are capable of noticing things in the domestic setting they live in._

_Which is all a roundabout way of stating that as my entries probably show if I bothered rereading any of them, Fugaku is hitting me a lot less. I have no idea what he thinks Minato (or any of his other subordinates) would do if they had proof of what my husband does to me. But I suspect the shame at this evidence of his loss of control under the famous Uchiha mask keeps him from wanting anyone beside me to know. But with Kushina, Minato and the boys gone, there was no need for any restraint and he was able to make up for all the times he’s obviously forced himself to hold back._

_Fortunately, he got called away on something important. And I drove myself to the beach house. I don’t know when I did anything on impulse, just for my own enjoyment and I was giddy at the thought of seeing the people I count as my own family. However ridiculous that may seem when two of them are in the employment of my husband, and my own sons have the same aloofness as their father, little Naruto is of course sweet and affectionate, but he’s like that with everyone. Still, when I arrived, I actually laughed out loud with excitement at being away from Fugaku and with people I loved._

_I was surprised by the mess of toys in the house. All things that Fugaku would disprove of. But I was more surprised when I went outside. On the beach Naruto was wearing a white pillow case with holes cut in it for his arms and head, flowers were pinned through his hair, and he was being walked along by Kushina who was singing the wedding march. Sasuke waited for him with Itachi standing next to him, both of them wearing their best suits. When Naruto reached Sasuke, Kushina put Naruto’s hand in Sasuke’s and kissed them both on the forehead._

_‘Sasuke Uchiha, I am giving you my one and only child to look after, do you promise to care for him the very best that you can forever and ever? Kushina’s voice was loud and full of laughter._

_Sasuke replied completely seriously. ‘I do.’_

_Minato laughing at his wife, said, ‘Kushina, I’ve been chosen to conduct this wedding ceremony, not you! Let me do my job myself for once.’_

_Kushina kissed him on the lips and knelt down behind the boys. ‘Make sure you do it properly then.’_

_I watched in utter silence and completely unnoticed and they went through their little ceremony. Smiling all the time Minato played his part well, repeating many of the words from a real wedding and giving the small boys a moment to say their vows to each other._

_‘You’re my best friend and I love you even though you can be loud and annoying and you do smellier farts than anyone else,’ Sasuke said._

_‘You’re my best friend and I love you even though you’re not as great at everything as I am and when you fart you never own up to it!’ Naruto said._

_The harmony of the wedding was almost broken up here as Naruto and Sasuke argued about who had farted when. Then peace was made by Itachi, my serious icy cold intimidatingly intelligent, Itachi, putting his arm around both of them and telling them it didn’t matter who farted when you were best friends and loved each other. To continue the reunion, Itachi then recited a poem. I wish I could remember all of it, my memory used to be so much better than it is now, but I think this is the beginning and the end._

Wherever I am, there's always Pooh,  
There's always Pooh and Me.  
Whatever I do, he wants to do,  
"Where are you going today?" says Pooh:  
"Well, that's very odd 'cos I was too.  
Let's go together," says Pooh, says he.  
"Let's go together," says Pooh.

"I wasn't afraid," said Pooh, said he,  
"I'm never afraid with you."

So wherever I am, there's always Pooh,  
There's always Pooh and Me.  
"What would I do?" I said to Pooh,  
"If it wasn't for you," and Pooh said: "True,  
It isn't much fun for One, but Two,  
Can stick together, says Pooh, says he. "That's how it is," says Pooh.

 

_Yes, Itachi who I’ve never seen read anything apart from adult books on philosophy, physics, politics and other highbrow subjects, perfectly recited a poem about Winnie the Pooh at a pretend wedding between his brother and Naruto. He also undertook the task with due care of giving Sasuke a shell necklace which seemed to take the place of a ring to put around Naruto’s neck._

_Minato pronounced them now to be best friends forever. Itachi, Kushina and Minato all clapped and congratulated the boys, but Sasuke stayed firm._

_‘You forgot to say the part where I may kiss the bride.’_

_‘Oh, I’m sorry. You may now kiss the bride,’ Minato said._

_Sasuke went to kiss Naruto on the cheek, but Naruto moved or tripped, I am not sure what, and they kissed on the lips, everyone laughed. Naruto and Sasuke had another argument about Naruto’s clumsiness but they were both blushing and as I watched them they continued holding hands and regularly pecking each other on the lips became part of all their games._

_I am embarrassed to say I stayed hidden in the beach house all afternoon, as the children played, dodging out of the way whenever Minato, Kushina and even Itachi came in to fetch something for the stars of the day which were the two small ones. It was such a strange experience watching my children being so comfortable and happy. And Minato and Kushina acted like overgrown children in a way I’d never seen before. chasing around in all their tag games, making sand castles, letting themselves be buried in a competition between Naruto and Sasuke to see who was fastest with Itachi judging. But the adults also seemed to instinctively know when to sit to the side and chat together and allow the children to play on their own._

_It was Itachi who I watched the most though. I didn’t recognise the solemn aloof son I’d been accustomed to for so long. He was caring and protective of the two younger boys, picking them up and pulling them out of the sea when he thought they were paddling out too far looking for seaweed for their castles; inspecting them whenever they tumbled over; mediating with flawless patience in all their many quarrels; giving them piggy backs and swinging them around every single time they asked. And more than just being an older brother, he was a child with them, smiling and giggling as he chased them around in a way I have never ever seen before._

_Then when the boys had tired themselves out, they cuddled up either side of Itachi with such automatic and natural ease that it was something they were obviously used to doing. Sasuke kissed Naruto then Naruto kissed Sasuke and Sasuke kissed Naruto again in what was beginning to look like a competition to see who could get the last kiss in before they fell asleep. Itachi ended it by kissing them both on the forehead and starting to read to them from a battered paperback of Peter Pan. Sasuke listened, Naruto interrupted with lots of questions, until both boys fell into a daze holding each other’s hand as they snuggled against Itachi. Itachi kept on reading even as Naruto loudly snored and Sasuke lay still with a happy smile on his face. I was so ashamedly jealous of Itachi and how relaxed the younger two were with him, I cannot even begin to describe it._

_‘Minato told me to give you space that you’d come and say hi when you were ready.’ Kushina’s voice made me jump. ‘But, yaknow, men don’t always get these things right. You shouldn’t be scared of playing and having fun with your own kids, sweetie. I know you like to play the dutiful wife, but don’t let him take away the joys of your own children away from you.’ Then she put an arm around my waist and squeezed me tight against her. ‘I won’t tell if you don’t. What happens at the beach stays at the beach, right? Your boys are so super clever they literally only need to do a few minutes reading a day to improve on the education side, and you saw didn’t you all the running around is working on their fitness?’_

_I told Kushina, what she already knew, that the moment they were aware of my presence then Itachi and Sasuke would have stopped having fun. She insisted it didn’t have to be that way. Then I asked her the more pertinent question about whether it was appropriate for Sasuke and Naruto to play a game that involved them marrying and kissing each other._

_Kushina laughed and said, ‘With those two I’m waiting for them to start playing at divorces! But if you ignore the bickering, they’re so sweet with their kissing, aren’t they? I wish Minato kissed me as much as Sasuke likes kissing Naruto.’_

_I simply thought, “I wish Minato kissed me.”_

_Then she dragged me to sit outside with Minato. I made a few excuses about needing to get back to Fugaku, but whereas they accepted me spying on them as normal, the idea of me going home was treated as an unthinkable oddity._

_Itachi nodded at my arrival showing no surprise, then he kept on reading to the sleeping children. And I listened to him as much as I listened to the chatter of Minato and Kushina. And I think I was happy._

 

***

_It has taken longer for me to change the way I speak to my children (always ensuring they are doing things that will please their father and thus avoid his anger) than it has taken for them to adapt to this new relaxed version of me. Today Sasuke allowed me the honour of placing flowers in his hair and walking him down the beach aisle. Apparently, Naruto has refused to play anymore weddings unless Sasuke takes a turn being the bride. I worried I was taking my role too seriously when I found myself embroidering the old pillowcase that they use for a wedding dress but Sasuke was impressed enough to give me a hug and shout at Naruto that he’d be a much prettier bride than him. So, I took it further and made Sasuke a bouquet out of paper flowers, something that has been missing from their weddings so far._

_Naruto was very happy with his bride, and his sense of fairness seems to have been met by Sasuke’s one turn in the female role and he is happy to resume their normal play.  He came and whispered to me whether I could please, please make him some bright orange flowers and embroider his name on the pillowcase. I was so enchanted by him that I went into the town and bought ingredients for a cake for their next wedding and hoped that Kushina wouldn’t mind as she strictly limits her son’s insatiable taste for sweet things. However, it wasn’t Kushina who was cross, but Sasuke. He complained that he didn’t get a wedding cake and was not even calmed by Itachi reminding him he never eats cake. I had to go back into town and buy ingredients to make him a tomato tart. These are the kind of parenting problems I am in all honesty delighting in! I’d be in maternal heaven if Itachi now declared he was jealous and demanded I cook something for him!_

_It is a different world from being scared whether Sasuke has memorised complicated enough maths formulae to impress his father._

 

***

There were the remains of some torn out pages and then a new entry in handwriting that was unusually scrawled and difficult to read compared to the rest of the journal.

 

_I was only at the beach for five days. And four more days have passed since our return. I think I can now write down what happened._

_Those five days truly felt like a lifetime, as if my life would always be blue skies and sunshine and watching three children play while my two friends spoke to me and treated me like an important individual in my own right rather than just a clog in the Uchiha clan._

_It was my idea to babysit, to insist that Kushina and Minato should have a romantic day alone together and lunch at this perfect little restaurant further down the coast. I even made the reservation for them. It is difficult to explain how I am undeniably attracted to Minato, but if he ever made a pass at me (which I am absolutely certain will never happen) I would be horrified. I love him because of how devoted he is to Kushina. I feel content just being close to the happiness of their marriage which is so different to my own. Even if I’ll never experience it, I am relieved that love does actually exist._

_So Kushina and Minato were gone, and it was me and the three boys. I cannot be as relaxed and fun as my friends are, but I tried my best and I flattered myself I didn’t do too badly. It was the first day of rain since I’d arrived, but I made the best indoor wedding possible. I got balloons, bubbles, made glittery confetti and a little banner with Sasuke and Naruto’s names on. All three boys wanted to learn to cook with me, so even before the wedding we spent a happy morning baking together. Then while Sasuke and Itachi washed up and put their customary suits on, I showed Naruto the bright orange flouncy dress I’d found for him in a charity shop. In reality, it was a hideous bridesmaid dress that I suspect an ordinary girl would hate, but I knew immediately it’d be perfect for my son’s friend with his love of bright colours and his desire to surprise Sasuke in the little wedding game they played._

 

Half a page of writing was scrubbed through before the writing continued on the next page.

 

_Excuse me. I can barely now think about it. Let alone write it down. It may be best if I try to keep to just the facts without trying to explain my emotions._

_Without any prior warning, Fugaku arrived at the end of the wedding. Just as Itachi said you may kiss your pretty bride, and Sasuke was obeying and kissing Naruto on the lips._

_I saw my husband first and I tried to behave as easy as Kushina had when I’d initially questioned Sasuke and Naruto’s favourite game. But what was so natural and cute before, I suddenly saw through the eyes of my husband.  And it wasn’t natural anymore. It was disgusting._

_I can’t remember exactly any of the things my husband said. Just his anger. A cold, white anger. He didn’t raise his voice once._

_I do remember one thing. As he picked up Naruto by the neck of that orange dress I’d been so proud of finding for the boy, Fugaku produced a knife from his pocket and said, ‘We’ll see if Sasuke still wants to kiss his bride when he is not so pretty.’ Each word spat out like a curse._

_I held Itachi and Sasuke back, thankfully I still had the technique and strength to restrain both of them as they fought against me to try and get to Naruto._

_Fugaku sliced three marks across each of Naruto’s cheeks. He told me to tell the parents that I’d taken the children for a walk and been caught in a freak wild animal attack._

_After I’d cleaned up the room of all the paraphernalia from the wedding I was allowed to take Naruto to the hospital to get the wounds professionally stitched up._

_Naruto didn’t cry. Sasuke did and Naruto held one of my son’s hands, Itachi held the other._

_I presume Fugaku got in contact with Minato and Kushina as they met me in the hospital hours before their date was supposed to end. They took over looking after Naruto. Sasuke howled when I had to drag him away, pinching his little fingers away from where Naruto was tightly holding onto him. But Fugaku insisted on immediately driving his sons home with me following driving alone in my own car._

_At the house, Fugaku took Sasuke off by himself to teach him what happened to boys who kissed other boys._

_I held Itachi firmly with me. He only said one thing to me in the long time before Fugaku returned without Sasuke and declared it was now time to speak to his eldest son._

_What Itachi said was, ‘I know you think you were protecting your own children from his anger with what you did today, but never forget you let an innocent child be cut up by your husband while you watched and did nothing.’_

_I didn’t say anything to Itachi. I’ve tried to think of the correct response in the passing days. I haven’t yet found it._

 

***

 

Sasuke ran his fingers over the scars on Naruto’s cheeks. He did it without thinking. When he did think about what he was doing he was relieved that Naruto had let him touch him without pulling away now he knew the truth of who had caused this old wound.

Naruto gazed at him with wide eyes. ‘Fuck, babes, I don’t know what to think. This is all so much. It’s like just one of these things would be crazy, but all of it…yaknow, I can hardly take it in. I don’t even think about my cheeks anymore, I just guessed it was some sort of accident, or some sort of non-accident from one of the like more aggressive bullies in the orphanage. No one ever told me. I guess no one ever knew?’

More tentatively than he normally would, Sasuke pulled up Naruto’s shirt to reveal the tattoo around his fiancé’s belly button. ‘Do you know why you have this?’

Naruto looked down at his own skin as if he didn’t recognise it. ‘Before reading all this I’d have told you, like I have told you, right, that I designed it myself because I liked the shapes and I got it as soon as I could find anyone who’d do it for me at a price I could afford. Now, hell, I don’t feel like I know anything about my own life.’

Sasuke flicked forward a few pages to where there was a swirling drawing that was an exact match of Naruto’s tattoo.

‘It’s something we made up together, mainly me by what my mother wrote. It was part of another game we started to play, where it was a magic symbol that could keep all evil away from you, so no one could hurt you. I used to draw it on your stomach where no one could see it and wash it away before my father was due home.’ Sasuke rested his head on Naruto’s shoulder.

‘Does that mean my family kept on living with yours? They didn’t leave straight after I got cut up? They can’t have believed that story about a wild animal, my parents were like super smart bodyguards, right?’

Sasuke breathed in his boyfriend’s scent. Naruto himself said he could barely take it all in. Now was a good place to stop, wasn’t it?

But then Naruto’s fingers gently caressed Sasuke’s lips and he asked a different, equally painful question. ‘What do you think your dad did to you to teach you not to kiss boys?’

‘Some things I’m glad I don’t remember, Sunflower. But whatever he did, it was enough that I never kissed anyone. Until you returned to my life and showed me what I’d been missing out on.’

‘It’s all somewhere in your mind. More than me because you’re like that bit older. Remember when you first took me to the beach and you got ill and felt faint, it was going back there with me that struck your subconscious memories and brought it all back to you.’ He gave a half grin. ‘Listen to me being all psychology-clever and insightful.’

‘If my subconscious wanted to dredge through the past I wish it had given me all the times you married me. I must have been a strange child wanting to play weddings…it sounds sweet though.’

‘Yeah, right, talking about farts in our marriage vows.’ Naruto laughed but he tenderly touched the new ring on his finger. ‘Do you think I always wanted to go back to the sea because some hidden part of me remembered the good times we had there…but I never made the effort before you took me because another hidden part of me also remembered what your dad did to me?’

‘Perhaps. I do not like the idea of things I can’t remember influencing me so much, but I can’t deny the reality of it.’ Sasuke looked away from Naruto and turned more pages in the journal. ‘This is what happened to your parents. Or my mother’s version at least.’

Naruto sucked his lips into his mouth, there was a film of perspiration over his forehead. ‘My heart is thumping. I don’t know if I’m ready for this.’

‘Let’s wait then.’ But when Sasuke tried to close the journal, Naruto put his hand out and kept it open.

‘I’m OK. I can do this. I’ve got you by my side, my childhood hubby, I can do anything.’ He linked his fingers through Sasuke’s and started reading.

***

_About two hours ago now, although it seems much longer, Kushina found me lying on the bed. I thought Fugaku had only just left, but apparently the whole morning had passed, and she’d finally decided to ignore my rule of never going into my bedroom to come and find me. To be honest with Kushina’s boldness I’m surprised she’s kept to it over all these years. But she did until today._

_Today she held me as I wept. Then helped me undress when it was too painful to move my body in just the simple act of taking my nightclothes off, as if we were sisters who had no secrets. She showered me and checked all my bruises, new and old, with a practised eye and then helped me choose an outfit that would hide the wounds but not be too tight to wear. Her kindness was so natural, as if she wasn’t being kind at all, but as if this was how people always acted around each other._

_When I started to fall into self-pity over how bad I must have been to aggravate Fugaku when he normally was so restrained when both Kushina and Minato were around, and bemoan my weakness that made him so angry, Kushina held me by the shoulders and looked me in the eyes and said, ‘It’s the small-dicked men with big issues who need to make themselves feel powerful by hitting a woman that are weak and pathetic. Not you. Never you.’_

_I replied without thinking, my mind obviously still dazed from the beating, ‘I haven’t seen it for a long while, but as far as I remember, Fugaku actually has an adequate sized penis.’_

_Kushina laughed. ‘You know you are one hell of a funny woman.’_

_And I laughed too, just because Kushina’s laughter is so infectious. Then I started crying again and told her that it hadn’t been an animal that attacked her son._

_She didn’t even pretend to be shocked by my confession. Instead she sat down on the bed, put her arm around me and made a confession of her own. That did shock me. Though I used my Uchiha training to hide how much it hurt._

_‘Minato doesn’t think you’re ready, but we can’t stay here. He’s going to do worse than he’s done already, and I am not going to wait around any longer while he thinks about what else he wants to do when, and you know it’s a when, he decides that Sasuke and Naruto are still too friendly. Or, even if we take Naruto away, what about when he catches Itachi reading to Sasuke purely for pleasure?’_

_That’s how her explanation began. I wanted to ask her more about Itachi reading to Sasuke, I didn’t know they did that, I thought it had been just an anomaly at the beach house, not something that regularly happened. And how did Kushina know more about my sons’ relationship than I did? But soon all those maternal insecurities were forgotten._

_For a while I truly couldn’t grasp what Kushina was telling me and then it was a sharp pain through my whole being that I think will be with me for the rest of my life._

_Kushina and Minato are deep undercover. They began so long ago that Kushina said she cannot remember her old life. Their sole mission has been to bring down the Uchiha clan, to unmask the criminal network behind the pretence of a legitimate business enterprise, with Fugaku being their main target. They were a real couple. Minato was a trainer at some sort of secret police academy where they met. Kushina was determined to make a difference and do something big so she leapt at the chance of taking on this mission. Minato was reluctant, despite his job and being more skilled than anyone else, he had reservations about the sheer amount of dishonesty involved in such a long mission and what it’d do to a person. But he loved Kushina so he gave her what she wanted and they started the process of going undercover. Separately to begin with and then meeting up later. There were other officers who also had tried to infiltrate the Uchiha clans, but they all failed and ended up dead without gathering any new intel._

_The pregnancy had been Kushina’s idea as she believed that Fugaku would not suspect anyone undercover of taking such a risk. And more importantly, she said, it would give her a connection with me. She said no one had even bothered approaching me before as I was seen as the perfectly obedient Uchiha wife, but she’d felt an immediate kinship with me as soon as she read my file. She said she saw a passion in me through the things I was suspected of doing before I was pregnant, that matched her own determination. She said she knew how hard it was being respected in a male world, and how tough I must be independent of how my husband had slotted me in the role of wife and mother._

_She said lots of things._

_The immense details of how their team had manoeuvred the war between the Uchihas and another clan with a specific threat to the children and the delicacy of making themselves available as bodyguards/tutors to Sasuke and Itachi. It was overwhelming._

_‘How could you put the children in danger?’ I asked in some sort of numb curiosity. ‘You love them all so much.’_

_‘They were never in danger.’_

_‘You gave birth on our lawn! You almost bled-out.’_

_Kushina did look flushed then. ‘Things did not go completely to plan.’_

_‘Were you really willing to sacrifice yourself for me and Sasuke or was that just a trick to earn my trust?’_

_The look on her face told me how real that night had been, and she repeated again that things had not gone to plan._

_She spoke a lot about our friendship how she would not have been able to get through it if she hadn’t genuinely liked me and she had quickly become more motivated by saving me and the boys than anything to do with law and justice. She sketched out how careful Fugaku was that how after all this time and his clear fondness for Minato they still didn’t have the evidence they needed, but there would have to be enough to withdraw now because she wasn’t going to stand by and see me be beaten and Naruto get hurt for some mythical future court case._

_I asked her what we do now. She said it’d be normally difficult but her and Minato had earned a lot of goodwill, and that we’d be able to all set up a new life together like the close friends we were. and the boys could grow up together. Because they were leaving without the longed-for evidence she said that it’d best that we emigrate, she talked about a tiny country I admit I’d never even heard of before, but that Minato had powerful links and friendship with the government._

_She told me everything, she said it had been so hard misleading me for so long and she hoped I understood her reasons, but she was so relieved she could be honest now and finally be upfront about protecting me. And that I knew I could trust her and always trust her because she had put her life in my hands as I could so easily phone my husband and report her and Minato’s real identities._

_When she left me to pack and gather my sons together while she explained to Minato that she’d broken cover and they needed to get themselves, me and three children out as quickly as possible, I phoned my husband and reported Minato and Kushina’s real identities._

_I know it was a test from him. I know they are really his employees, apart from Itachi I’ve never seen Fugaku warm to anyone like he warmed to Minato. They have been undercover spying, but not for some secretive international agency, for my husband. This is his elaborate way of getting an excuse to finish me for good that no one in the family will balk against._

_After writing this entry I phoned Fugaku again. Just in case I’ve made a horrendous misjudgement, I asked him in honour of me as his wife, who did my duty and reported on my friends immediately and has not asked anything from him for many years, could he please spare the child._

_Just in case._

***

Tears were streaming down Naruto’s face as he turned the pages himself to the last entry in the journal.

***

_It’s been a long time since I’ve written anything. I don’t know how many years. For a while I could not stop thinking about the opportunity I’d had. It is strange now thinking back on that time when Sasuke screamed through whole days and refused to eat until Naruto came back. Until Fugaku intervened and Sasuke returned to eating dinners with us and has never mentioned his once cherished friend again._

_Now Sasuke is a clone of Itachi, the only thing he cares about is trying to match his brother’s achievements and earn rare words of praise from his father._

_Itachi is the same as he has always been. The only difference I’ve ever seen in him was on those too brief days when I’d saw him playing on the beach with his brother and Naruto. I hope that he still cares for Sasuke even though he’ll never let me see any signs of it._

_Itachi, I suspect, is the reason I have been drawn to writing in this old journal again. I went to reapply my make up before going to a charity dinner with Fugaku and found an envelope resting in my lipstick drawer. Inside was an article cut from an obscure paper that judging from what I could see specialised in government conspiracy and UFO sightings. It was an interview with a man who had found a mutilated body in the desert years ago but once he called it in and the police took it away he was never questioned again and never saw any sign of investigation. And when he tried to go to the police to find out what was happening they turned him away as a drunk who’d imagined it. Whoever was doing the interview obviously glorified in all the goriest details and alternated between suggesting it could be an alien attack or an alien body._

_I wish I had the strength to write all that had been in the article, I remember it all though I burnt it immediately. It wasn’t just the level of torture in the expected broken bones and limbs twisted the wrong way, but the desecration of body parts hacked off and sewn back in different places. I assume teeth and fingerprints were destroyed purely as a necessity. But maybe there was no necessity if the police are so firmly under his control. And if he was concerned that the body would be identified, why did he leave all that long distinctive red hair that was referred to several times in the article?_

_I put on my make-up and went out with Fugaku. I must have done particularly well as he commented on how proud he was to have me as his wife before he went up to his bedroom. I went to the kitchen to get a glass of water. Itachi was there. Making a tomato sandwich. He was respectful as ever, but the way he looked at me was the same way he looked at me when I held him and Sasuke back while Fugaku cut Naruto’s face._

_I wanted to ask him if he was certain that it was her. But he wouldn’t have left it for me if he wasn’t. I wanted to ask him how he was certain, how long it’d taken him to trace down her remains, if I should expect a similar report about a man with amazing yellow hair to soon appear, and more than anything, I wanted him to reassure me there would never be anything about the long dead body of a little child with scarred cheeks._

_What I asked him was if he was having trouble sleeping as he was up so late._

_‘No, mother,’ he replied in a perfect Uchiha voice. ‘Are you? Is there anything I can get for you?’_

_There was nothing I could pinpoint in his tone or his expression, but I am certain that he despised me and my cowardice, that I was too scared to even ask him about the past. I went to bed without getting a glass of water. And instead of sleeping, I am writing this and thinking of a life where my sons laugh and play and love me and are so grateful for the day I stole them away from their violent demanding father so they could be happy children growing up with their beloved foster brother, Naruto, and the good, true and brave people they call Uncle and Auntie, Minato and Kushina._

***

Sasuke closed the journal and took it out of Naruto’s trembling hands. ‘You know as much as I know now. There is nothing else. One of the reasons I delayed, I hoped, and don’t yell at me for saying his name, but there is no one better than Suigetsu, so I trusted him with the extra information I got from my mother’s diaries. I’m afraid he has not been able to trace down the article that my mother mentions or…or any other evidence of what happened to your parents.’

Naruto audibly swallowed back his tears but said nothing.

‘I tried doing some research myself and I am amazed that Suigetsu managed to trace you back to having a connection with my family. There is literally nothing that I could find even with your unusual name ever linking you with the Uchihas.’ Sasuke knew he was talking to cover Naruto’s silence but he couldn’t stop his own voice blurting on. ‘The only person who remembers you, or admits to remembering you at least, is Kakashi. As I said he assumed I’d also remembered, which is why he thought I’d chosen you as my boyfriend. But even when I admitted I had no memories, Kakashi couldn’t really add anything that wasn’t in my mother’s journals. He said he didn’t have much to do with me, his focus was on…’

‘I’m going. You know that, don’t you, Sasuke?’ Naruto stood up and brushed his clothes down.

Sasuke looked up at him and nodded. Yes. He knew.

Naruto took the ring off and placed it in Sasuke’s hand, curling Sasuke’s fingers closed over the top of it.

‘This thing between us, now you know the reason, it’s just hidden memories from our past that attracted us to each other. Now you know that, you can use that logical brain of yours to see that it’s not real, we’re too different, and it was never going to work long term between us,’ Naruto said in a voice that was almost convincing.

‘Please don’t punish me for what my parents did.’ The words slipped out. Sasuke had wanted to make this as easy for Naruto as possible, but he couldn’t even do that for the man he loved so much.

Naruto shook his head. ‘I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I know it’s not fair on you or me. But I can’t be with you. You’re the son of my parents’ murderers! I look at you and I’ll think of them.’

He ran out of the room. It took all of Sasuke’s strength not to run after him. But he didn’t. He stayed where he was with his mother’s journals that had doomed his relationship the moment he had found them.

 


	22. Chapter 22

Sasuke sat still for a long time. When he moved it was to pick up the photo of the family group that wasn’t a family. The adults looked so kind, Itachi looked softer and more protective than he was in any of Sasuke’s actual memories. And then there was that little yellow haired kid gazing at him as if he was the most important person in the world.

Naruto still had that exact same expression. After sex. During sex. Before sex. In the morning. At night. When they were bickering, but his blue eyes still stared at Sasuke, filled with love, even as his mouth ran through all the worst insults he could think of. How had Sasuke managed to lose someone who knew him and still adored him? Twice.

He should’ve told Naruto as soon as he contracted Suigetsu, they could’ve waited for the report together, Sasuke could have made it a thing focused on Naruto’s past and ignored everything about his boyfriend’s clients. And when he found his mother’s journals, he could’ve taken them to Naruto and explored and experienced it all together for the first time, shared the shock, bonded, and talked over every single thing. It would have brought them closer.

Or he could’ve done the opposite. Privately told Suigetsu to forget everything else anyone else had told him to do and just put all his incredible talents to discovering everything about Naruto’s parents. And he himself could’ve examined every page of the journal, absorbing it all, thinking and planning how to frame it when it was time to present it to his boyfriend.

Now he was alone thinking about it, he experienced the same emptiness and shock as when he’d invited Naruto to that motel room. All the time he’d spent thinking about it, and he’d still got it so wrong. How the hell did he think his emotional man would react when he read Sasuke’s mother’s entry about an article that Itachi had probably left for her, detailing a mutated body that was probably Kushina? The fact that there was nothing definite would make it even more painful, forcing Naruto to imagine what had happened to the mother he never knew and exactly how badly she’d been tortured by the Uchihas.

Why hadn’t he been composed enough to prepare Naruto for what was in his mother’s journals? That stupid argument they’d had before. The sudden proposal. Everything had happened to unbalance him when he was tentative to begin with. The fact that deep inside his soul he’d feared telling Naruto because he’d foreseen how Naruto would react.

Could it really have been any different? Was there truly anyway to soften the trauma of telling someone your parents had killed their parents?

Sasuke looked down at the ring he was holding, he’d been unconsciously gripping it so hard that it had left indentations in the palm of his hand. His engagement to the only man he could love was so much shorter than Naruto’s fake engagement to Sakura. He smiled ruefully and finally moved.

For a while he walked around the house trying to think practically, he excelled at practical, how did he go about disentangling his life from Naruto’s. Would Naruto come and fetch his belongings, or was it Sasuke’s responsibility to box them up and send them to Tsunade? They were due to travel together. Naruto had signed them up together for as much voluntary work as Sasuke would allow him to. Sasuke would naturally have to contact the relevant people and inform them of his withdrawal. He obviously had to cover all Naruto’s costs, but would Naruto let him? And what would Sasuke do? Return to the business world again, like Naruto had said in anger, pretend this was all just a minor break for him, a failed experimentation away from his real identity and natural place in the world?

He leaned sideways against a wall for a second. All he wanted to do was to sell everything and give it to Naruto. Was that possible? Just to give Naruto the money and let him do with it what he wanted? He imagined himself transferring all his wealth to Naruto’s account, going to find the man to tell him what he’d done and then walking away before the yellow-head could argue with him. Could that happen?

 Sasuke swallowed hard, the only question in his mind that he really cared about was would he ever see his five-minute fiancé again? He started meandering around the house again, not looking at Naruto’s actual belongings anymore, but seeing all the memories they had here. All the places they’d kissed, bickered, fucked, laughed, played, cuddled. It’d be the same at his apartment. He couldn’t even think about the beach place.

One second, his only desire was to hold and touch and treasure every physical thing that his crazily vibrant boyfriend had touched. The next second, he was certain he’d get in his car, drive away and leave everything to agents to sort out.

But there was nowhere to go. The hollowness inside him told him too clearly that wherever he would never be able to escape the fact that Naruto wasn’t with him.

He found himself standing in front of the window he’d waited so impatiently at on that first time they’d met. Without thinking he sunk to the floor and rested his head against the cold glass. He didn’t look outside but stared down at the ring in his hand.

It wasn’t his habit to think philosophically or religiously about the world. Naruto and he had the occasional conversation because Naruto liked to talk about everything. Naruto was optimistic, despite the facts of his life and all he’d seen of the world, he believed in _something,_ he couldn’t define what that something was, but he thought it meant that in the end everything would make sense and be right. “If you believe in the awesomeness of love, you have to believe in something bigger than us, right, sexytush,” he’d said more than once.

Sasuke replied that the world was meaningless chaos, that there was no overriding justice or fairness that compensated for all the shit noble people suffered. Nothing would ever rebalance the evil people who prospered because they were willing to sacrifice everyone around them at the altar of their own personal gain and power. All anyone had, good or bad, was the moment they were living in.

But miracles had happened in his own life. The more he thought about it, the more he realised how amazing it was that at such a young age Itachi had managed to change the Uchiha world entirely. So that Sasuke, although he’d always considered himself amoral in his dealings, had actually, through all his life, run a legitimate business and never been touched with the life that his father had chosen.

And then there was Naruto.

With neither of them remembering their past connection what were the chances that they found each other again? That initial decision to meet an escort when he refused to pay for sex, had been the unlikely choice that brought a childhood companion back into his life. No, it was more than that one moment in his office watching a clip of an expert bottom. It was Suigetsu picking that video to show him. It was all the momentous and tiny things that had made Naruto into an escort when he and his friends had wanted his life to go in a completely different direction. If Naruto had had a little luck, or rather if Tsunade had had a little luck in her gambling, he would never have come back into Sasuke’s sphere.

And likewise, if Naruto had never caught the eye of Jiraiya, his fate would have been that of so many poverty-stricken orphans. Not nice. Even since Sasuke had known him, re-known him, Naruto had had the idea of making his money through street fights. He could’ve been killed in a brawl gone wrong while Sasuke celebrated another successful business deal, forever ignorant that the only person he could truly love had died an anonymous unnoticed death.

Yet somehow Sasuke believed that him and Naruto would always find each other again. It was illogical and made no sense, but right now in his heart he truly believed that there were forces between him and Naruto that drew them together. He had a cousin, Shisui, he’d been a close friend of Itachi’s, the only friend of Itachi that Sasuke could really remember. He hadn’t thought of Shisui for years, but now he recalled how Shisui had been the only Uchiha he’d met that actually believed in the traditional Uchiha religion with its focus on everyone being connected, the importance of self-sacrifice to protect those you loved, as the life you were living was a thread in a giant tapestry of reincarnation, growth, and love.

According to his mother’s diary, he’d loved Naruto before he was even born. Had they met before? Had he in his young, open and honest soul somehow known that Naruto would be the rebirth of a beloved friend he’d known in other life times?

Sasuke rested his head on his knees. This was ridiculous. He was so desperate he was trying to create some mythic world framework to comfort himself that him and Naruto would never be parted for long. The truth was that it was all random coincidence.

He’d heard stories before of family members who had been separated as children and when they met as adults they felt an immediate connection. And that was what had happened between him and Naruto. It wasn’t any deep all conquering love that survived through all separation including death itself. It was as Naruto had said himself, the reaction to each other that they’d mistaken for love, was in fact an unconscious response to childhood familiarity. Chance had brought them together, but they could have just as easily never met. The stories of family members who met as adults were marvelled over, because they were such a sharp contrast to the usual reality of people being torn apart and never finding each other again. There was no great kind hand of destiny at work. Just plain chance.

He looked down at where his hand had turned into a tight fist around the engagement ring. Since learning the truth about how Itachi had tried to save him, Sasuke had never trusted his own perceptions of his childhood, but his blood ran with fresh hate as he recalled his mother’s soft and gentle smiles. It was all a lie. All the time she knew she’d doomed them. Why hadn’t she left with Kushina? Everything would have been so different. Naruto and him and Itachi would have grown up together as brothers, they would have been free of their father’s tyrannical expectations. They all would still be alive.

Or would they. He gritted his teeth. His pain was turning his mind into sentimental dreaming. He forced himself to think practically. From the information he had, after years of subterfuge Kushina had broken, probably under shock of what had happened to her son and affection for Sasuke’s mother. It was possible that Minato had been planning to safely withdraw anyway to protect Naruto. And seeing someone despite everything she considered a friend, Kushina had decided to overrule her husband and trust Mikoto in the hopes that they could all escape. But although they had succeeded in infiltration, they were still not confident in taking Fugaku down. Sasuke’s mother must have noted that, must have considered what Fugaku would do if she ran away with his sons. She knew the extent of his power. And she had decided that the only decision she could make was to contact Fugaku. It was self-preservation. Maybe more. After he cut Naruto’s face, she knew children weren’t safe from his wrath. Maybe on some level she did the best thing she could do to protect the children?

Sasuke sighed. He was trying to be practical, but in the end, it was all useless speculation. It was all history and only relevant now because him and Naruto had met again. But now Naruto was gone.

He raised his head and looked out of the window. While he’d been sitting here, moping and doing nothing, a storm had brewed outside. He was glad to see the dark clouds and the torrent of rain. If nothing else was right at least the weather could suit him. He ran a hand through his hair and tried to focus on what he needed to do, who to contact, and he made the decision he would box up Naruto’s possessions. He would not keep whatever remained of his sanity having to look at them in his home.

As he stood up, he saw it. A flash of orange at the gate, trying to shimmy up the wet metal.

‘Idiot,’ he said.

Maybe his sanity had already gone, and he was seeing things, but smiling he ran outside into the pelting rain. Somehow Naruto had managed to get over the gate and he ran up the drive and into Sasuke’s arms.

‘Sorry, babes,’ Naruto mumbled into Sasuke’s ear.

‘What for?’ Sasuke clung onto the other man’s hot body even tighter, barely able to comprehend that he had his lover back with him again.

‘I might’ve forgotten, yaknow, with all the stress of everything, the code for the gate and thumped the keypad a few times until it was all sparky and not working.’

Sasuke stepped back and took Naruto’s hand in one of his. ‘You didn’t hurt yourself. did you?’ There was only light grazing on the knuckles but Sasuke covered the whole hand in kisses as Naruto chatted away in his usual loud voice as if everything was normal between them and he was just talking about what he wanted to do for dinner.

‘I’m also sorry too… yaknow… not just about the keypad thing… but about stomping off before. It was just all… …too much. It was a kneejerk reaction, looking at you, and you look like your parents, and panicking. The realness of it all. I know you think the parents in my head are me being a bit crazy and making stuff up, but I talk to them and it feels real. And I was suddenly struck by it all being so false, and here I am skipping along with my pretend parents being all happy for me settling down with you and us being in love, when in the world of things that actually happened, my parents dedicated their life to trying to take your dad down and I’m living my life thinking ninety percent of the time about sucking on their enemy’s son’s cock. It’s wrong, isn’t it? They would be ashamed of me. I guess they’d be ashamed of me for a lot more than that though, wouldn’t they? Maybe that’s another reason I never wanted to find out about them because I was scared they’d be too good for me. And they are. They’re amazing crime-fighting heroes and I’m nothing but a…’

‘What the hell are you talking about? No one is too good for you, Naruto. You’re a kind, unique, beautiful man, who loves with your whole heart and who is full of empathy and generosity and who wants to dedicate his life and immense energy to helping others. They’d be unbelievably proud of you as any parent would be.’ Sasuke kissed him in the centre of the forehead. His voice softened, and a smirk danced over his lips. ‘But personally, I am disappointed that you only spend ninety percent of your time thinking about my cock, what do I need to do to get a hundred percent of your time?’

‘Hey, honeynuts, don’t be flirting with me when I am being all heartfelt and vulnerable.’ Despite his words he kissed Sasuke passionately on the lips, his tongue pushing in and exploring all of Sasuke’s mouth as if he was tasting it for the first time.

Sasuke responded with a sigh of relief. When Naruto pulled back and let him breathe, he was almost scared he was going to cry.

‘Are we OK? I was thinking about packing up your stuff, how I was going to cope without you. I couldn’t believe I’d been so stupid that I’d lost you again. I should’ve found a better way to tell you about your mother. I was too much of a coward, I couldn’t say it out loud, it’s all too horrible. My father tortured your…’ Sasuke _was_ crying now.

Naruto caught him in his arms and they slumped to the ground their bodies entwined. The heavy rain forming puddles around them on the drive.

‘And you call me an idiot? Were you seriously going to pack me out of your life after one argument?’

‘It’s all so big and I cannot make it any better,’ Sasuke murmured between his sobs. His voice barely audible above the growing wind. ‘I don’t even understand it. Any of it. The kid who got you to marry him on the beach was better at relationships than I am. I’ve even been making up my own stories, imagining we’ve known each other in previous lives and Fate brought us together as we belong together. Just because I can’t mentally survive the idea of not being with you.’

Naruto’s eyes were bright lights, his mouth a big grin. ‘I like that idea, you and me always finding each other no matter what. Because, let’s be honest, Sasuke, you and me probably need more than one lifetime to try and get things right between us?’ He momentarily let go of Sasuke and reached in his pocket producing his big bunch of keys and keyrings. ‘Something was definitely stopping me leaving you today. I was like all sure we both needed some space, but my mind parents were telling me no, my pop gently saying that I had something special with you and that special things needed to be fought for every step of the way, and my ma shouting about how she thought I had a lot more sense than to run away when things got a little tough. Then GhostItachi appeared…’

‘Itachi?’

‘Yeah! Tell him off about that next time you see him, I almost peed myself when he was suddenly in front of Toady. And Toady hadn’t been happy about me driving off in the first place and was all complaining, but he totally gave up when GhostItachi turned up like that.  And then GhostItachi came and sat in the car with me, and, you better be proud of me, because I was all polite and talking to him when really I wanted to run screaming.’

‘Itachi?’

‘To be fair, he was much nicer and politer than you are. All the manners in your family obviously went to the older brother. He apologised for appearing because he knew I didn’t like ghosts, but he was concerned that if I left now it’d be too much for you to handle. He knew I was confused and shocked, but he said those feelings were temporary whereas the way I feel for you is permanent. And, well, you know as you speak to him all the time how wise and clever he is. The way he said everything it made me feel like super embarrassed my immediate reaction had been to leave you, when it’s super obvious that you and I need each other more than anything. But he was like, it was all alright, and you’d only care about me coming straight back to you, not that I’d been all shocked and runaway instead of giving you a big hug and talking about it like mature adults apparently are supposed to do when they find out their fiancé’s parents are murders. Though, take note, dollface, he did also say, that you were an idiot too, to like totally not get that I’d be upset about you going behind my back to Suigetsu and not talking to me straight away.’ 

Naruto opened the fist, where Sasuke held tightly onto the engagement ring, picked it up, put it on his finger and then forced Sasuke’s finger through the Eeyore keyring that he’d removed from his bunch of keys as he’d been speaking.

Sasuke stared dumbly down at it.

‘I know it’s not like a priceless gem, but it is a symbol of how I feel for you. That’s my favourite keyring and I’ve had it a long time and never thought I’d part with it even though Eeyore’s tail has fallen off and one of his eyes is missing. But even as I was driving off, my head a total mess, thinking like in most of my mind I really couldn’t see you for a long, long time, I glanced down at it and I thought of your mad father burning your Tigger teddy when you were a kid, and that I wanted you to have my little Eeyore. Even if my head parents hadn’t been telling me to return to you, and Toady hadn’t broken down, and GhostItachi hadn’t come to talk to me, I’d have turned around and returned to you on my own. I really don’t know much, but I do know we belong together, Sasuke Uchiha, I haven’t got much to give you, but everything I have, everything I am, is yours. Will you accept this ring as a sign that you feel the same for me as I feel for you and you will be my best friend forever?’

Sasuke laughed as he played his fingers over where he now had an Eeyore teddy dangling from his hand. ‘How did you get it on? I don’t think I can remove it without breaking my knuckle!’

‘You don’t want it?’ Naruto’s eyes were as wide as they got.

‘Of course, I do, but not jammed on my finger. Will you be hurt if I put the key ring on my keys and we go to a normal jewellery shop and you can choose a ring for me to wear from there?’

‘Yes. If you love me and want to be married to me, you’ll wear it forever.’

Sasuke’s mouth turned into a straight line. ‘Then I’ll wear it forever.’

Naruto’s cheeks flushed, and he rubbed the back of his head. ‘I was only teasing, but like that makes me feel stupidly happy how serious you were there. I actually believed you’d wear it for me if I asked you.’ He laughed his loud laugh which out-decibeled the wind howling around them. ‘Can you imagine on our wedding day, I have this big fuck off gem and you’ve got an Eeyore keyring?’ His voice and face softened. ‘Bastard… what you asked earlier… are we OK? You and me together’ll get everything between us sorted?’

‘Yes. It can’t be any other way.’ Sasuke pulled Naruto in for a lingering kiss.

Naruto responded hungrily, his mouth open, his tongue fighting Sasuke’s. He tugged pulled and ripped at Sasuke’s clothes as if they’d been parted for years. Sasuke kept one hand wrapped protectively around the Eeyore he’d been gifted by his lover but worked extra vigorously with the other one undressing Naruto as quickly as he could.

The cold rain thundered down on their naked bodies, it made Sasuke yearn even more if that was possible for the warmth of his fiancé. Not once did he think about moving and walking the few yards to the shelter of the house. They both needed each other right now in this moment. Delay wasn’t an option. Naruto found and used the small bottle of lube that Sasuke had taken to keeping in one of his pockets. Sasuke’s hair was plastered down over his face by the rain, he pushed it back out of his eyes, so he could watch Naruto sit astride him. He reached up and did the same to his lover, so those beautiful blue eyes could gaze unimpeded back at him as Naruto lowered himself down onto Sasuke’s hard cock.

‘I love you,’ Sasuke gasped as Naruto’s tight heat encircled him. ‘I’d do anything for you, you know that, don’t you? Anything. I live for you. I can’t change the past. But I promise I’ll give you the future you want. Whatever you want.’

His voice was more breathiness than words as Naruto found a fast rhythm. He wasn’t sure he was heard or listened to in the passion of their coupling and the roar of the storm that was building to greater volumes around them.

Naruto stared down at him intently, being unusually silent as he pounded his ass down on Sasuke, pushing Sasuke’s flesh into the sharp stones of the gravel drive. Sasuke felt small pricks where his skin was cutting. He revelled in the pain, as he revelled in the coldness and the rain that hit his body with the force of hailstones, all of it just emphasised the pure ecstasy of being connected with his perfect man. He had a moment’s doubt with his normally vocal lover was as happy as Sasuke was, but a glance at Naruto’s hard cock helicoptering as Naruto bounced up and down on him, was all the reassurance he needed. He was hypnotised by the sight, the visual beauty of Naruto’s arousal making it even more difficult to resist the wave of pleasure that threatened to overwhelm him with every movement. Naruto’s pace increased. It worked like this between them, they became more turned on by the obvious joy they took in each other, the excitement bouncing between them and amplifying until neither could take any more.

Sasuke broke first, gripping Naruto’s hips and pounding up into him. He didn’t last more than a dozen thrusts before the eye-rolling, back arching orgasm tore through him. The intensity increased by Naruto’s body tightening around him as he came at the same time, shooting hot come over Sasuke’s abs and chest. He pulled Naruto down and kissed him with the same hunger and lust as he had pre-sex. Naruto’s body was hot, the air steamed around him. The rain should have washed away all the sweat, but his fiancé retained his unique wild scent that Sasuke always found incredibly enticing. And also comforting.

They held onto each other for a long time, kissing and caressing in the pouring rain as the sky thundered and flashed with lightening above them. It was Naruto who finally stood up and took Sasuke’s hand to walk back into the house together. Their clothes were left discarded on the drive.

With effort, they managed to get the keyring off Sasuke’s finger and left it safely on their chest of drawers. Naruto also took his ring off and carefully placed it so it looked as if Eeyore was holding onto it. They ran a hot bath, Sasuke not complaining when Naruto poured in a whole bottle of bubble bath. Naruto got in first, and instead of sitting opposite as he normally did, Sasuke positioned himself between Naruto’s legs and lay back on his lover’s broad chest. As Naruto warmed up he began chatting on about his usual assortment of randomness.

Worrying that Toady would be cold out in the rain and that as it was really Sasuke’s fault that Toady had broken down for living in the middle of nowhere rather than on nice city roads, Sasuke owed Toady a good clean and polish.

Talking about all his favourite foods, detailing the greatness of each, though in truth it would’ve got across basically the same information if he’d spent ten minutes repeating the word ‘ramen’.

Wondering what the ideal casting of _Wicked_ would be, (a thread that Sasuke lost track of as while he spoke Naruto’s strong hands massaged shampoo into Sasuke’s hair), it seemed to end somehow with ten women sharing each of the main roles, with half of Naruto’s cast being dead or surely too old.

Making up a story where all the Disney animals lived in the same place where Dumbo and Baloo were best friends and Baloo taught Dumbo to sing the greatest songs in the whole Disneyverse and Dumbo took Baloo flying. Sasuke was on the verge of interrupting this story with questions about whether a baby elephant could carry a full grown male bear but managed to stop himself.

As they dried and dressed in night clothes and held dressing gowns up for the other to slip into, Naruto got closer to mentioning what had occurred between them today by at first shyly asking Sasuke if he could teach Naruto how to cook as he really tried to make nice things for Sasuke and didn’t want Sasuke to eat something disgusting to protect his feelings.  Then still shyly he said it was kinda hot that Sasuke did that but being honest was even hotter. But quickly he resumed his normal booming confidence saying that it was Sasuke’s taste buds that were weird as Naruto found his own cooking really tasty but as they were going to be together forever he’d take lessons from Sasuke to learn how to cook bland boring food like his man did.

‘You find my cooking bland and boring? I thought you liked it.’ The words slipped out automatically and Sasuke was embarrassed by how hurt he felt. Though it did give him empathy with how Naruto had got angry when Sasuke had made his earlier confession about lying over liking his lover’s food.

Naruto blushed and rubbed his head messing up his newly brushed hair. Without looking at Sasuke he said in a gruff voice, ‘No, honestly, your cooking is the best thing I’ve had in my whole life, but give a guy some slack, yaknow, it’s hard to admit I’m awful at something when I thought it was one of the ways I was showing you how much I cared for you. So, let me boast and bluster a bit more, ok?’

Sasuke took Naruto’s hand and led him down to the kitchen where he started Naruto’s cooking lessons straight away, instructing him how to make hot chocolate just the way he liked it. It was slow progress, mainly due to how they entwined their bodies at every possible moment to the point that Sasuke even wrapped himself around Naruto and guided his fiancé’s hand with the simplest thing like getting a teaspoon of sugar. But then he got distracted kissing the nape of Naruto’s neck and allowed his student to ignore all the science of measurements and add ingredients in in the haphazard way he loved.

When they cuddled up on the sofa sipping the drinks that Naruto had made, Sasuke smiled a genuine smile.

‘You’re going to have to make this more regularly for me. I would never have experimented myself and known that instead of a sprinkle of cinnamon just taking the lid off and pouring the spice in makes a much better beverage.’

Naruto beamed. ‘How long do you reckon before I am a greater cook than you?’ He happily suggested all the many ideas he suddenly had for improving all of Sasuke’s recipes. Then suddenly he stopped himself mid-sentence, put his and Sasuke’s cup down on the table and took Sasuke’s hands in his own. ‘I’ve got to say this, because I can’t have a proper go at you about holding things back if I do the same. But, yaknow, when we were outside, and I’m not even sure if promises made while you’ve got your cock balls deep in me actually count, but if they do, this is real important. I don’t want you to do anything for me. I don’t want you to devote yourself to making the future that I want.’

Something solid seemed to form in Sasuke’s throat and threaten to choke him. It’d been too good. He’d let himself relax and believe in the powerful conquering strength love too easily.

‘What is up with you today, baby boo? Your face right now. Why are you always thinking the worse and being ready to seal our relationship up in boxes at the slightest bump?’ Naruto pressed his forehead against Sasuke’s. ‘That’s a stupid question, I know. Discovering about our parents and bearing that burden alone has been too much strain on you. That’s way more than a slight bump, I know. But I also know that deep in my heart and soul, all the places that count way more than my dumb brain, we are way, way past the point where I can live without you. And now you’ve got my car, parents, and a freaking wise ghost brother on your side, I’m not even going to be able to have a proper make you sweat storming out tantrum again, am I? But, you’ve got to know, Sasuke, whatever happens, however much I shout and stomp, I am yours through it all.’

‘But you don’t want to live with me. You can say it outright. It’s actually easier that way.’

‘Wow, you are hard work sometimes! When did I even get close to saying that? I was talking for ages about you giving me cooking lessons, how are you going to do that if we’re not together? Stupid Bastard.’ Naruto said the last words with affection running his tongue around Sasuke’s ear. ‘What I want to say is that somehow through the mess I’m pretty sure we got engaged today. And that to me means we are a partnership. I don’t want you to promise to make my dreams come true, I want us to work together to make _our_ dreams come true.’

‘My dreams are your dreams,’ Sasuke frowned. ‘I want what you want.’

Naruto cupped Sasuke’s cheek. ‘And what I want is to discover what you want. GhostItachi said a few things that got me thinking about how you’ve been trying to give me everything I want, and I am so happy that that is how our life has been together. I want to play bookforts we play bookforts, I want you to read to me, you read to me, I want to fuck we fuck. And the really big things too, it was your initial idea, but I realise it was me who pushed us to get so involved with voluntary work. You gave up your job for me. And I haven’t appreciated that enough.’

Sasuke shrugged, keeping his voice plain. ‘I’ve told you that the business world was boring me. You reinvigorated me and gave me purpose.’

‘Yes, I get that. But, yaknow, with the shock of the big headlines from your ma’s diary, it’s easy to miss the fact that from when you were a little bit shouting at the telly, your life was already dominated and governed by what your father thought you should be, and then Itachi changed the board for you, but he left you in ignorance so you were driven by hate and revenge. And I think you went into the family business because once your revenge was acted out, you had nothing left so you just did what was expected of you rather than thought about what you actually wanted for yourself. And then fast forward to me appearing and I think I’m not flattering myself by saying everything between us was a little crazy because I was the first thing you’ve wanted for so many years you didn’t know what to do. Apart from do everything to make me happy with the hope I’ll remain with you. But now we’ve got to find what things you enjoy, yaknow, aside from the obvious like fucking me.’ Naruto grinned. ‘Because despite being an arrogant ruthless prick, it turns out in a romantic relationship you’re a softy and I’m a loud idiot who’ll play computer with you all day thinking how fun it is, and drag you to musicals because I love them, and put all my favourite films on because I am desperate to share everything I enjoy with my best friend.’ He brushed his lips against Sasuke’s. ‘Exploring what you are, this is going to be fun, our awfully big adventure.’

‘Hnnnnn. Are you deliberately quoting from _Peter Pan_? You realise the whole thing is Peter saying, ‘To die will be an awfully big adventure’? Is that appropriate.’

‘Trust you to be all negative when I’m being all good boyfriend and thinking about you. I was kind of cheating a bit and thinking about the movie, ‘To _live_ will be an awfully big adventure.’ Because it is, Sasuke Uchiha, it so totally is with you by my side. I’ve always tried to remain cheerful however things turned out, but every day waking up with you, I don’t have to try, you’ve given me real happiness. And I’m going to do the same for you. That’s my mission from now onwards.’

‘Naruto Uzumaki, you completed that mission the moment you came into my life.’

Naruto opened his mouth as if he had more to say, but Sasuke was too tired to listen. The day had exhausted him. But somehow, they’d survived it together. All the navigating of the emotional fallout could start tomorrow, including Naruto’s new faith in the wisdom of the ghost brother that was supposed to only be a symptom of Sasuke’s own longing and guilt. Right now, he cut Naruto’s words off with a kiss and they lay together gently kissing and caressing until they fell asleep cuddled up together on the sofa.

 

 


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you lovely kind people for continuing to read, and special fluffy hugs for everyone who comments, it does mean an incredible amount to receive feedback.  
> And more thanks for your patience, this was supposed to be the last chapter, but I'm finding it pretty hard to finish and say goodbye to these guys. I still hope you enjoy it as it is, and I'll try to post the next part soon.

The beach house was quiet. The only sounds were the waves outside, and Sasuke walking softly around the rooms unable to settle in one place. His brow creased as he tried to remember what it had looked like before Naruto had tornadoed through redecorating everything in oranges and yellows so bright they stretched the limits of what the human eye could take without being permanently blinded.

He’d come here as he thought it was the place that would have the fewest memories as they had spent the least time together here as a couple. But he was a fool. Even ignoring Naruto’s all-dominating colour scheme, this had been the first place he’d taken Naruto away to, where he’d taught him to swim, the first time they’d woken up together, the first time he had given Naruto pleasure and tasted him on his tongue.

And the ache of absence from that didn’t even include all the things Sasuke was blocking out the that he’d learnt from his mother’s diary about the time they’d spent here as toddlers.

 He wished Naruto was here now. But this was the way it was. He forced himself not to count back through every painful day since he’d last seen that beautiful man.

Tomorrow he would book himself into a hotel. But he did not have the energy to leave tonight. After some time he made himself a simple supper, grilled tomatoes on toast and a hot chocolate. He took a small nibble of the toast and a sip of the drink before he threw both away. Somehow over time his taste buds had changed so that he now only liked food the way Naruto prepared it. And try as he could he was never able to satisfactorily replicate the yellowhead’s chaotic cooking style. Without Naruto by his side it seemed he was doomed to be permanently hungry.

With that thought he went to bed. He tossed and turned, but at some point he must have fallen asleep because he was woken up by someone thumping him in the chest.

He blinked several times in the transition from peaceful sleepy darkness to bright electric light and being shouted at.

‘Wake up, Uchiha!’ A slap around his face this time. ‘How can you be sleeping at a time like this?’

Sasuke rolled away from the punch that was coming towards his gut, and leapt out of bed into a hopefully safer standing stance. ‘What are you doing here, Tsunade?’

For answer, she marched over to the window and threw the curtains open revealing pitch darkness outside. ‘You look a mess.’

He glanced down at himself, he had fallen asleep in his day clothes which were crumpled and creased. A touch to his head revealed that his normally perfect hair was tangled and straw like. It was hard to care about his appearance when Naruto wasn’t here to see him, but that was no reason for this woman to burst into his home and judge him.

However, he decided to bypass both the fact that it was the middle of the night when he was supposed to be sleeping, and the presumption of Tsunade commenting on his appearance, instead he asked in a soft, almost pleading voice, ‘How’s Naruto?’

She folded her arms under her impressive bosom and glared at him. After a moment she said, ‘Surrounded by friends which is why he sent me to check up on you. He was concerned about you being on your own.’

‘Does that mean he’s changed his mind and coming back to me?’ The hope was too sudden to hide it from his voice.

‘No. You know how stubborn he is once he’s decided on something.’

Sasuke’s shoulders slumped.

Tsunade shook her head. ‘You are pathetic. I thought Naruto’s idea was a good one. _Not_ for the reasons he said. But because you two should force yourself to have some breathing space away from each other, you are virtually joined at the hip!’

‘We live very separate lives,’ Sasuke protested.

Tsunade raised an eyebrow.

‘You are fully aware it is Naruto that encouraged me to find what I wanted to do with my life, _independent_ of him.’ Sasuke met Tsunade’s sceptical stare. ‘Without him I’d still be in an office, or just following his lead around the world. It is him that helped me discover how much I loved teaching. Something I’d never have realised on my own. He supports me in my life choices, even though I am now mostly at the dojo while Naruto…’

‘Is also always at the dojo.’

‘He comes occasionally to train.’ Sasuke’s voice sounded more defensive than he liked. Why did Naruto’s Granny always make him feel like a little kid under her command? ‘And a lot of his friends work with me. Rock Lee and he are continually sparring.’

‘Hmmm. Are you expecting me to believe that he drags himself to the dojo no matter how exhausted he is, just to see his _friends_?’

‘Yes. He’s very dedicated to his friends. And to make new friends. He enjoys socialising, he talks to everyone. He is great with the younger children. And the teenagers. And the adults. I wouldn’t have a business without his people skills. But you know he spends most of his time in his own career, counselling…’

‘Which you continue also to do despite your professed life fulfilment with your dojo.’

‘I did the courses and got the qualifications alongside Naruto before I got the dojo. It makes sense to continue to use my skills. And I do mentoring more than counselling, which means that my business contacts are also still utilised as I can help these young people past the age of eighteen into jobs and hopefully careers. But I only do it…’

‘ _Occasionally_?’ Tsunade smiled. ‘Like Naruto only occasionally comes to see you at the dojo?’

She reached out and surprised him not with one of her acts of violence but by ruffling his hair.

‘I can’t help but be proud of my bratty Naruto for breaking through your arrogance and turning you into an almost decent human being. And I’m so grateful for how much you love and appreciate him in all his chaotic madness. But I still thought it’d be good for you to have some time apart to show you both that you can cope alone as you did before, and are not wholly dependent on one another. And it turns out that you can’t cope. It’s only been three days and you look as much as a state as your boyfriend, moping around as if he’s in mourning…’

‘Naruto’s moping?’ Sasuke interrupted far too eagerly. ‘You said he was surrounded by friends, that made it sound like he was happy? And he turned his phone off last night and didn’t even ring me to say goodnight…’

‘I took his phone away and turned it off as I was fed up with you two ringing each other every minute! And yes, Naruto looks very happy with all his friends around him, but anyone who knows him can tell he’s pining. He behaved like a sulking teenage, not even eating his dinner yesterday after I took his phone away and refused to give it back.’

‘Naruto didn’t eat?’

‘And it was ramen.’

‘Naruto didn’t eat ramen!’

‘He refused cake too, but don’t you dare let that get to your ego, Uchiha, or I’ll beat it back down!’

Sasuke hardly heard the last part of what Tsunade said, his mind was focused on how unhappy Naruto must be to refuse anything sugary. ‘I need to go to him. His idea was stupid, I should never have agreed to it. If I go to him he can keep all his pride and know that it was me that broke not him.’

Sasuke made to dash towards the shower, but the woman blocked his way. Her hands were planted firmly on her hips, but he sensed that the slightest provocation and he would feel the surprising strength of her fists again.

‘The agreement was that Naruto wanted time apart to plan your wedding and he wouldn’t return until he had everything organised. And that is going to stand.’

Sasuke sucked his lips into his mouth. A year had passed since the proposal, and though they were deliriously excited thinking of their future together, every single day they had argued about the details of their wedding. Part of the rhythm of their relationship involved constant bickering, but the fights over their wedding were something else even by their standards. It had been simpler talking through the devastating issues from the revelations of his mother’s diary than trying to have a civil conversation about what music, if any, they wanted at the ceremony. There was absolutely nothing they agreed on. Sasuke had booked an appointment with an exclusive jewellery designer to choose their wedding rings, and within half an hour they’d been asked to leave. Sasuke had never been thrown out of anything anywhere ever before.  Which caused another argument, but then later that night, drinking the cheap sweet wine Naruto liked, there was lots of laughter and fun making up sex. They did always end friends and would hold each other tight and ask in disbelief how they’d managed to get so angry about things like the colour of icing on a wedding cake. But then the next day they’d be glaring at each other with raw rage over whether you could hold a tomato plant instead of a bouquet of flowers.

Then last week Naruto had shaken Sasuke awake in the middle of the night. Sasuke was quickly alert responding with kisses and caresses, it wasn’t unusual for one of them to disturb the other with a surge of lust that couldn’t wait until morning. But this time Naruto had grabbed Sasuke’s hand before he wrapped his fingers around Naruto’s cock.

‘No, Honeylight, not that. I’ve had an idea. A deal. Kinda. Yaknow, I won our bet, so you owe me a prize and I’m claiming it now. But it works for both of us because I’m nice like that.’

Sasuke’s fingers stretched trying to touch his lover. ‘What are you talking about, idiot, what bet? What prize?’

 ‘You’re the idiot. Our first date, when you said you’d never pay me for sex, that I’d be on my knees begging you to be my Master without you having to give me one cent. And if you tell me that you don’t remember the first time when we actually had sex and you pretended I was an escort again, I swear I’ll…I’ll castrate you with a spoon!’

‘Of course I remember, but…’

‘Yeah, so I won the bet you paid for the fun of my body and I’ve never dropped to my knees and done any begging …well, only that one time…two times…maybe a few times…but, yaknow, point stands you gave in first, admitting that you were so hot for me you’d pay anything to ride on the Naruto express.’

‘OK. It seems I don’t remember it at all, because my recollection is nothing like that.’

‘Give me a break, it’s the middle of the night and I’m trying to make it simple for you as you’re playing dumb. I won our first bet, you paid to have sex with me, I never claimed a prize, the prize was never specified, but now I _am_ claiming and making it specified.’

‘Hnnnn.’ Sasuke had always had good night eyes, and his sight was adjusting to the shadows of his lover’s body, filling in the hard contours of that muscular torso, and his groin was reacting more to that than his brain was to Naruto’s words. ‘Whatever you want, you can have.’

‘Cool! I knew you’d love this idea. So, I am going to let you take my name no hyphens or anything, you can just be Sasuke Uzumaki, if you’re sure that’s what you definitely want?’

‘Yes.’ Sasuke frowned. ‘That’s your prize, letting me have what I want, when you’ve been shouting about me remaining an Uchiha all this time?’

Naruto rested his head back in the pillow. ‘Yeah. We have argued a lot about the name thing, haven’t we? Even more than about you being a bastard and totally not getting why we should sing our wedding vows to each other.’ Naruto rubbed a hand through his hair. ‘The name thing is tough though, isn’t it? It was like a couple of things that made me fight you about it.’

He spoke much slower than usual. Sasuke pushed his desire to the side and concentrated on listening to his fiancé.

‘I worried that you just wanted to change your name because you were ashamed of things your family had done in the past, not because…you really wanted to belong to me. And the other thing will sound odder. But, yaknow, way way before it was clear that you and I were a thing, I perhaps sometimes all the time used to say your name Sasuke Uchiha before I fell asleep and maybe I might have kissed my pillow a couple of times saying something like “Goodnight, Sasuke Uchiha”, and my pillow might have said something back like…’ Naruto changed his voice into what was obviously supposed to be an imitation of Sasuke but resembled a petulant little girl. ‘“You are the best kisser in the whole world, I’m so happy you’re my husband, Naruto Uchiha”. And by the way non-pillow you has never said that. Just in case you’re taking note. But anyway you see, I kinda love saying your name, and thinking about your name, and dreamed about you loving me so much that you’d be willing to take an escort into the Uchiha clan.  So I’ve been joking around for ages calling you Sasuke Uzumaki before you proposed, as a teasing thing because I assumed you’d never be anything but Sasuke Uchiha and when we got married you’d make me into Naruto Uchiha. I needed to, _need_ to, adjust my thinking that’s all.’

Sasuke leaned in and kissed Naruto’s forehead. ‘You don’t have to adjust your thinking. If you want to be Uchiha, you can be Uchiha. I assumed you wouldn’t. But I shouldn’t have. We should talk rather than argue. You’re right in that part of the reason I’d choose Uzumaki is that I want to distance myself from my father. But I love Itachi and am happy to share the Uchiha link with him. You’re wrong in that the main reason I want to change my name is because I do belong to you, and I want everyone to know. I’ve seen the attitude people have to you, and to other couples as well, when one comes from a poorer background. You’re not a gold digger, or some disposable bimbo that is a status symbol on the same level as my car. You are my equal, and I want that to be clear to the world.’ Sasuke swallowed. He was glad it was dark, sometimes it was easier to say things when he couldn’t see the bright blue of Naruto’s eyes gazing at him. And Naruto couldn’t see the hot flushed hue to Sasuke’s face as he spoke. ‘There’s also the fact that maybe I liked your _teasing_ , when you called me your hot little…wife…Sasuke Uzumaki. I liked the way it sounded when you said it and thought it’d be a good life if I could hear you call me that for the rest of my days.’

Strong arms pulled Sasuke against the hard muscles of Naruto’s chest so tightly that there wasn’t a slither of air between them.

‘Sasuke Uzumaki.’ Naruto’s voice was hot breath in his ear followed by expert flicks of his tongue. ‘Sasuke Uzumaki, I’ll be so happy to share a name with you.’

Sasuke rolled his hips in instinctive response to his lover’s growling passion, but Naruto hadn’t finished speaking. Still gripping Sasuke as hard, he continued explaining about this bet thing. Sasuke tried to concentrate on the words even though his erection was pressed against Naruto’s.

‘Things never go right with you, I woke up all determined to share my genius plan with you, and me not arguing with you about the name thing was supposed to be part of the deal to balance out me getting what I want. But now you’ve been all soft and lovely and I want you to be Sasuke Uzumaki now and I can’t pretend it’s just for you. You’re so annoying. You know how much I hate you, right?’

‘I do.’ Sasuke brushed his lips against Naruto’s neck.

‘Oh you so don’t.’ Naruto grabbed a handful of Sasuke’s hair and pulled his face up so their lips were level.

The kiss was biting, tongue fighting, fierceness.

Sasuke’s hands moved to Naruto’s hips ready to flip him over and fuck a Naruto shaped hole into the mattress.

But Naruto suddenly pushed Sasuke’s face away. ‘For winning the bet, for letting you take my last name without any more fights which will be a forever thing, I want you to let me go away from you for a month or so and plan our wedding which is only a one day thing so much less important. I’ll visit all the possible venues and cake makers and florists and photographers and the little fox rescue place all by myself. And there’ll be no more stupid arguments between us about whether anyone can make a ramen flavoured wedding cake. And whatever I decide on you’ll put up with because the only real thing that matters is that I’m going to be yours and only yours for the rest of our lives?’

If Naruto’d said anything like this in the middle of an argument, Sasuke would have escalated the fight into heroic proportions. As it was Sasuke struggled not to ask how a little fox rescue could have anything to do with their wedding and point out that they had never spoken about ramen flavoured wedding cakes before, and if they had it’d be a definite no with absolutely zero need for debate. But Naruto had rushed the words out, his voice quivering with vulnerability and rising with doubt. So different from the brash confidence he normally possessed.

‘I can’t deny my darling anything,’ Sasuke said softly.

‘Your _darling_?’ Naruto chuckled, but his voice was still uncertain. ‘I guess that’s all kinds of better than being your Idiot. But I think all the fights we have show that you can deny me a hell of a lot.’

‘You just need to ask me at the right time. And you’re still my Idiot too. And my beloved. And my dearest.’ He whispered trailing kisses across Naruto’s chest, flicking his tongue over the other man’s nipples before moving down over his abs. ‘My soul mate. My best friend.’

‘Every time I want anything from you, do I need to wake you in the middle of the night and get you horny? Because you’re really agreeing to let me plan our wedding alone without you?’

‘Yes, my Sunflower, I am.’ Sasuke’s mouth closed around Naruto’s erection and all coherent conversation ended for the night.

In the morning they had firmed up the details of how things would work. Though less than an hour after Naruto temporarily moved back with Tsunade, the first rule had fallen. Sasuke was just relieved Naruto had broken before him as his fingers had been hovering over the phone from the moment that Naruto had given him his tenth final-really-really-final-this-time goodbye kiss and left.

‘This no talking thing is not going to work,’ Naruto blurted out immediately. ‘No way am I going to be able to get through a day with just reading texts and emails and not hearing your voice. If we just talk about normal things and not anything wedding related, that’ll still work with the deal we made, right? The important thing is you trust me to organise our wedding, not that we’re separated. We’re just apart from each other as it’s easier if you don’t see anything and start asking questions and we start arguing again. And if I’m not talking to you at all, I’ll just be thinking about talking to you and will be totally inefficient at organising anything so will have to be away longer. So we can talk, right?’

‘Hnnnn.’

‘Please, Sweet, Sweet Sasuke, please agree to us talking.’

‘I suppose we can. If it’ll help you. And the wedding is never mentioned.’

That night, they moved on from talking to video-calling, where the wedding definitely wasn’t mentioned, but the delicious frustration of Naruto teasing the camera over his body would have had Sasuke breaking the deal anyway and driving immediately to fetch his lover back if Tsunade hadn’t managed to destroy the mood by shouting about how thin the walls were and what exactly _she_ would do if she had to listen to another second of Naruto describing all the things he wanted Sasuke to do.

The second day there was a rushed call where Naruto said, ‘Quick, Hotcakes, if you had a basket of kittens would you prefer black, white, ginger or a mixture?’

‘Naruto, is this a wedding question?’

‘No. Maybe. Yes. But just answer quick. Pretend it isn’t.’

If they were in person he would have immediately queried the sanity of anyone who thought animals and the most important ceremony of their lives were a good mix.  But the thought of Naruto making an effort to search out kittens because he knew Sasuke liked cats, even though Naruto himself preferred dogs, somehow touched him.

‘I trust you with all decisions,’ Sasuke replied. ‘It makes me feel calm and content. It was a good idea for you to plan it on your own, I want the day to be beautiful for you, that’s all that matters. And it was ridiculous how I was arguing over everything. I’m so much more relaxed now. Just promise you’ll decide quickly and get back in our bed soon. I’m cold without you.’

‘Ginger cats then?’

‘Black, obviously black, a solid and serious colour to match the occasion,’ Sasuke snapped immediately before he could stop himself.

 Naruto chuckled. ‘I know, Sweetcheeks, just teasing you.’

There had been other phone calls with other questions that could be wedding questions, or could be just general Naruto randomness, like asking him if he had an elephant allergy, or if he’d ever snowboarded before, and whether he thought gold hot pants were fun and sexy or a bit tacky?

But now there was the certainty of Tsunade in front of him, telling him that despite how cheerful he sounded in their calls, Naruto was miserable without him, yet still insisting that he didn’t want to be reunited in person.

Sasuke took a deep breath. ‘Naruto and I’ve wasted enough time with misunderstandings. We should be long married by now, if we, if _I_ hadn’t been so…unaware. Let me go and bring him home. I can be patient, there’ll be no more fights, I won’t interfere with his wedding plans,’ Sasuke told the woman in his most convincing voice. Although it did irk him that he was trying to get her approval when he was a grown man who could go and see his fiancé without needing anyone’s permission. But still he said more. ‘His happiness is always the most important thing to me, I just sometimes think his ideas are a little too…creative and won’t work out how he thinks they will, but I can swallow all that down and will support whatever he thinks he wants.’

Tsunade smiled a smile that wasn’t quite reassuring. ‘I told you Naruto won’t see you until the wedding is sorted. But he can’t bear to be apart from you any longer.’

Sasuke raised an eyebrow waiting for more explanation.

‘So he was excited to find out one of his friends is licensed to conduct marriages, he’s right now calling in favours, luckily he knows a lot of important people who are very fond of him and will do a lot to see their favourite escort smile.’

Sasuke’s cheeks burned, but it wasn’t the first time Tsunade had tested him to see if his temper would rise at reference to Naruto’s past and he remained otherwise composed. ‘Say what you want to say directly.’

‘If he manages to pull it off, and I’ve no doubt he will as he’s incredibly determined, Naruto is going to be here by sunrise to make you his lawfully wedded husband.’


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi lovely readers! This was again supposed to be a last chapter that has turned out not to be a last chapter....I really hope you don't mind too much. And I also need to apologise for potential spelling problems, most of it was beautifully edited by the wonderful MrJonesandMe, but then I wrote more and then my keyboard has started breaking and adding extra letters. I think I've found most of them, but read this in a forgiving mood!  
>  All that aside I look forward to reading your comments for anyone who has time to leave them and am just genuinely grateful for everyone who is staying with me through this journey x

The sky was dark purples blending into oranges and yellows as the world turned and a new day began. Sasuke looked down at where his shoes were sinking into the soft sand. The golden light of the appearing sun glinted off the Peter Pan cufflinks that Naruto had gifted him last Christmas. At least he had brought those with him. But the suit that he was wearing, the best one he had packed for his sojourn at the beach hut, was at least five years old. Damn Naruto for deciding on a spur of the minute wedding. Sasuke had looked forward to buying a newly fitted suit, his body was even more toned now that his main work was in fitness and training. He wanted something that Naruto had never seen him in before that would show off the change in his muscles and make his lover’s blue eyes light up even brighter. He did not want to get married in a tired outfit that by his standards barely qualified for casual-smart.

And he had obviously tidied himself up, but he’d wanted a new haircut, and he’d have an excuse for things he normally rejected as too vain, like a manicure and even a pedicure. Also he’d planned to surprise Naruto with matching newly made scents from his Italian perfumer. Though as it turned out he would actually match Naruto’s smell as the bottles that had been left in the bathroom were Naruto’s ones, filled with orange gunk that the yellow-head used for both his hair and body. The kind he brought with happy delight whenever he saw anything suitably bright enough in a supermarket without ever checking the ingredients for parabens or sulphates.

Sasuke didn’t know why he was worrying these details, this ridiculous idea would come to nothing, and he could return to bed for a proper sleep as unmarried as he was right now.

Sasuke bit his lip and swore under his breath. However frustrating that it was being unprepared, now that Tsunade had put the idea in his mind, the thought of this wedding not happening made his body ache in ways that went beyond all logic.

He looked around. The beach was still entirely empty. Apart from him. Waiting.

It’d be better if Tsunade was here. That was a sobering thought. He was in a situation where he wanted Naruto’s favourite person (second favourite person, he hoped!) standing here judging him, raising her eyebrows, mocking him, openly laughing, and having that aura of permanently being on the verge of hitting him. But he was denied even the comfort of her presence. She’d disappeared off after a hurried phone call with Naruto which Sasuke hadn’t been able to overhear enough of to learn anything new. Her last instruction had been to go out on the beach and here Sasuke was obeying, even though his stomach was flipping and his heart thumping as if he was physically putting himself in danger.

 A thudding began in his ears. It took him a moment to recognise that it was exterior to him and not a new ache in his head. He took a deep breath and turned his head to look behind him. Two white horses pulled a glass carriage onto the sand which immediately got stuck. A group of people, who had been crammed in, tumbled out laughing.

Even standing up it felt like there was a heavy weight compressing Sasuke’s lungs as he searched for his lover. There was Sakura and Rock Lee, he bit his lip. If this was going to be an impromptu wedding with hardly any guests, why were they here? Rock Lee was fine. But if Sasuke had been organising a huge high society wedding with thousands of people in attendance, he still wouldn’t have invited Sakura after she succumbed to her parents and barred Naruto from her own nuptials. Sasuke couldn’t forgive any slight against Naruto, his ire increased in direct proportion to Naruto’s easy nature.

Although if Naruto wasn’t the most forgiving person in the world, then he would never have accepted Sasuke back into his life, so Sasuke knew he had no moral ground to judge Sakura’s presence. But that didn’t prevent him fixing her with an icy stare before continuing to search for Naruto. Neji gave him a small nod of acknowledgement before turning his attention back to a closer cousin than Sasuke, the shy, Hinata. Sasuke’s frown deepened. Sasuke tried to be gracious about Naruto’s continuing attachment to Neji, but that didn’t mean he wanted someone his fiancé had had sex with at their wedding. And Hinata was barely better, her quietness meant Naruto was somehow oblivious, but everyone else noticed her sudden interest in learning self-defence whenever Naruto had time to teach a class at the dojo.

Sasuke calmed himself with the thought that of course a man like Naruto would be admired by past lovers (and not even a real lover but someone who had had to pay for his fiancé’s company), and dreamed over by anyone with a pair of eyes. It was his boyfriend’s sunshine personality that meant he could remain friends with everyone, and that was something to be treasured, not to wallow in jealousy over. Though he still narrowed his eyes at Neji, a facial movement so small that Neji was the only one present capable of seeing it and also recognising  the fiery warning it contained to tread carefully around Sasuke’s man.

If Sasuke’s man was going to appear that was.

Shouldn’t something like a glass carriage be reserved for the wedding party, not random guests?

But the next people he zoned in was not Naruto, but Suigetsu. With Karin. In Naruto’s crazy mind did they balance out Neji’s and Hinata’s presence? But no, Naruto was too much of an idiot to realise how much Hinata wanted him, and in all their time together Sasuke had kept him away from Karin and never mentioned how intense and aggravating her continual obsession with him was. Naruto had invited Suigetsu, probably thinking Sasuke would be glad to see his oldest ‘friend’ and not once thinking there’d be any awkwardness in the fact that Sasuke had once had a hard BDSM session with Suigetsu and that Suigetsu had confessed his love for Sasuke. Naruto probably didn’t even remember.  Since they were officially together, Naruto was casually interested, but never jealous about Sasuke’s previous sexual life.

The flash of teeth that Suigetsu gave him in his shark’s smile revealed that Karin’s presence came from Suigetsu, he was willing to bear her company knowing how much Sasuke would _not_ want her at his wedding. Her eyes were already red from crying. It was a small punishment from Suigetsu, and the man who was normally so aware should have known he didn’t need to burden himself with Karin, as the irritant of Naruto’s friends at this ceremony would be retribution enough for Sasuke not choosing to bind himself to the man who on the surface was a much better match for him. And more importantly the fact that Naruto was soon going to be his made every other person irrelevant.

The two last guests who had somehow squeezed into the carriage were Naruto’s friends that Sasuke tolerated but had no interest in: Kiba, who always smelt of the dog rescue he volunteered at, and Shino who didn’t seem interested in anything beyond insects.

The people were dressed in a mixture of the type of clothes you’d throw on when you were suddenly dragged out of your bed in the middle of the night, and outfits that looked like they had been partied in for at least a week.

The giggling babble grouped behind Sasuke. Kiba thumped Sasuke square in the back.

‘Never forget how lucky you are, Uchiha, you’re punching way above your weight getting Naruto, and if you ever hurt him, I’ll beat your sorry ass into the ground.’

Sasuke clenched his stomach and didn’t stir a muscle, or deign to make any reply, but it started a raucous discussion behind him about whether Naruto or Sasuke was getting the better deal from their union. Just what a man wanted to hear while waiting for his fiancé’s appearance. The slurred words and volume of conversation revealed that the celebratory drinks had begun before the wedding itself. He sucked in his lips and hoped that no one had been foolish to give Rock Lee anything alcoholic.

‘You’re all wrong! Sasuke is…Sasuke is an honourable man! He made my dream come true with the dojo…and he gives all the investment but he treats me like an equal! He is honourable. And I am proud…PROUD to be his partner.  And Naruto is my special sparring brother. They are both honourable men overflowing with the joys of youth and springtime and are equally matched. I’ll fight anyone who says differently! If I was gay, I’d have sex with both of them…at the same time and I’d suck each…’

Sasuke forced himself not to listen to anything else that was said.

Yep. It was that kind of day, or pre-day, the sun hadn’t even risen yet, where someone had been foolish enough to force a drink on Rock Lee. And this was supposed to be his wedding day?

Sasuke was not going to put up with this. He’d sort it out with Naruto later, in person, and they would work out a marriage plan like mature adults who wanted to spend the rest of their life together were supposed to. He turned on his heel, with the plan of fetching his car keys and driving well away from this mess. Just as two of Naruto’s most muscular friends, A and his brother Killer B, emerged from the hut. Both of them wore smart suits, it was probably the first time Sasuke had seen them without a hint of their bulging bodies on display. He remembered so long ago when he’d first seen them talking to Naruto, how he’d been struck with the insecurity of thinking they were Naruto’s lovers, believing them to be the type of men the yellow-head was sexually attracted to when he wasn’t being paid to escort. A small sigh escaped Sasuke’s lips at that memory which was bound with a pain of loss and disappointment that felt real even today.

No. He wasn’t going to leave this beach. If Naruto wanted him here, then here is where he’d remain until his lover told him otherwise.

A and Killer B came and stood in front of Sasuke. They were much more formal than Naruto’s other friends, A began to talk to Sasuke about the ceremony. Sasuke heard enough to learn that A was the friend Tsunade had mentioned who was registered to marry them, but now his attention was fixed on the beach hut where the two men had just recently emerged. His heart hurt with anticipation to see Naruto.

What would he be wearing? Sasuke sucked in his lips recalling the question about gold hot pants. Whatever it was he would be composed and complimentary. But as seconds passed it felt like hours. Despite the cool early temperature, beads of sweat formed on his forehead. It didn’t matter what Naruto was wearing, only that he was here and not having second thoughts. What did they call it, Cold Feet? The first day he’d brought Naruto here he’d run across the sand yelling about how hot it was. The exact opposite of cold feet. That had to be a good omen, didn’t it? Except Sasuke didn’t believe in omens. But Sasuke also didn’t believe in Fate. Apart from deep in his soul where he was certain that Naruto was his destiny, his reason to be here on this Earth in this moment.

He breathed shallowly. There had been a time, he was sure there had been a time, when all his thoughts had been logical and he had felt perfectly in control of his world. But here he was about to be the groom in an impromptu wedding ceremony with no idea when his boyfriend would appear, and even _doubting_ whether his boyfriend would actually appear. How could he know someone so completely with all his heart and at the same time be terrified that Naruto, who was so honourable and treated the smallest promises like vows carved in stones, would change his mind about something as important as getting married?

Did it feel like this for everyone who was in love? Naruto made Sasuke feel as if he was capable of doing anything, but at the same time he revealed Sasuke’s most vulnerable raw side, that wasn’t able to do anything but shiver and weep and hold his arms out and hope that Naruto would hold him.

Sasuke knew he wasn’t a coward, but there was still a treacherous part of him that wanted to run away rather than risk standing here and having to face in front of these loud people Naruto’s rejection. However, his heart knew that he would face that humiliation and a thousand times worse for the smallest chance of the inconceivable reward of having Naruto’s love for the rest of his life.

For the first time since his last phone call with Naruto, Sasuke smiled. As if that was the cue he’d been waiting for Naruto walked out onto the beach on Tsunade’s arm.

Tsunade was dressed in a beautiful blue dress that flattered her figure and complexion to the extent that she truly looked a fraction of her real age. Though it was the smile on her face that did most of the work, softening her features and surrounding her with a glow of youthful hope and happiness.

Sasuke didn’t notice. His eyes were fixed on his fiancé. Naruto wore an old pair of flip flops that had been covered unevenly in a rainbow of glitter, more of which was stuck to Naruto’s feet and legs and hands than on his footwear. Apart from the blobs of glitter his legs were bare up to an inch above his knees. He had on a pair of neon orange shorts, the ones he said were his favourite every time Sasuke tried to throw them out, though Sasuke always suspected that was an excuse to stop Sasuke trashing them as he himself could never see any difference between them and all Naruto’s other orange shorts, aside from the fact the elastic had gone in the waist of these. The sky was more purple night than yellow morning, but it was bright enough, and Naruto’s shorts were hanging low enough for Sasuke to pick out that Naruto was wearing the silk underwear that Sasuke had had especially made for him decorated with all his favourite Disney animals. As a top Naruto had on a short-sleeved shirt, every inch of fabric covered in large yellow sunflowers with orange centres. Despite the temperature, the shirt was open displaying all of Naruto’s chest, abs and of course the swirl of his tattoo. Naruto was grinning as wide as it was possible for a Naruto to grin, which was at least as twice as wide as an ordinary person. He winked at Sasuke, stuck his tongue out and held his hand out in a thumbs-up gesture.

Sasuke had never seen anyone look so angelically perfect in his whole life. With one hand he gave the thumbs up back to Naruto, with the other he tried to surreptitiously wipe away the tears that had appeared in his eyes.

Naruto began skipping towards him, only Tsunade keeping a tight grip of his arm prevented him from just dashing straight into Sasuke’s arms.

Sasuke consciously tried to preserve in his mind every moment of Naruto moving towards him. The noise of Naruto’s friends behind him changed instantaneously from irritating scratchiness to joyous celebration at being in the presence of this most beautiful of people. The lapping of the sea on the beach seemed to symbolise the love that entwined him with this man, how deep, eternal and natural it was, as if he wasn’t just connected with his lover, but with the very essence of the world. The most heavenly sound, soaring melodically above everything else though, was Naruto singing as he walked towards Sasuke. It was a song which pre-Naruto he would have categorised as tuneless meaningless nothingness, but post-Naruto, or in truth, only in this instance, he recognised as the most romantic thing ever written, Abba’s _I do I do I do I do I do_.

_Oh, I've been dreaming through my lonely past_

_Now I just made it, I found you at last_

_So come on, now let's try it, I love you, can't deny it_

_Cause it's true_

_I do, I do, I do, I do, I do_

Naruto sang the same verses again and again. Not because he didn’t know the words. Sasuke had sat through too many long, long nights of watching _Mama Mia,_ followed by Naruto playing him all the original versions of the songs, followed by Naruto playing him all the ‘completely awesome and amazing’ Abba songs that hadn’t made it onto the soundtrack, which started with a promise of ‘just a couple of the best’ but always turned into every song Abba had ever recorded. Naruto would lean back eyes closed, lost in a reverie of Bjorn, Agnetha, Benny and Ani-frid’s voices, and add his own howling, always word-perfect if in a completely different key to them, usually the key of strangled cat rather than chart topping pop melody.

But maybe his fiancé had been taking secret singing lessons as no conservatory trained, pitch perfect, opera diva ever sounded more flawless than he did right now.

Though through the miraculous beauty of Naruto’s voice, Sasuke heard Sakura giggling affectionately and saying, ‘Ah, I love how Naruto doesn’t care how out of tune he is, he just keeps singing so loudly and full of the joys of spring.’

Rock Lee replied puzzlement in his voice, ‘But my sweet wife, it is normally me who admires his energy, while you hit him and tell him to shut up or you’ll pull his tongue out?’

A scowl passed over Sasuke’s features, but he closed his ears to everyone but his lover. If others couldn’t appreciate Naruto’s exquisiteness, that was their problem, certainly not his. Though the scowl was replaced by a small smile and a slight reddening of his cheeks with the idea that Naruto probably sounded as bad as normal, but Sasuke was so overflowing with love for this man that his senses could only perceive perfection. If it had been anyone else to make him so pitifully love-dumb, Sasuke would have walked away, but his heart beat with the true knowledge, that Naruto was the one man who deserved at least one day in his life of being seen as entirely faultless.

When Naruto arrived next to him, not even Tsunade’s great strength could stop the yellow-head wrapping an arm around Sasuke’s waist and pulling him in for a romantic kiss to the wolf whistles and cheers of the people behind them. That was exactly what happened. Sasuke, the composed gentleman tolerating a beach wedding purely to humour his beloved, definitely hadn’t flung himself at Naruto and thrust his tongue into his lover’s mouth like a sex-starved desperate slut. And it was Sasuke who stepped politely but firmly away from Naruto to continue with the service, rather than Killer B having to wedge them apart as if they were dogs in heat while Naruto’s friends all drunkenly laughed and shouted about not having a honeymoon before the wedding.

Stepped apart, he noticed for the first time that Tsunade was holding a pink fluffy lead that lead to a harness that entrapped a vicious looking kitten. Sasuke mainly noticed this as the kitten was scooped up by Naruto and held out towards him. The kitten had a clawed ear, a missing eye and its fur was matted, where it had fur that was, mostly it was scabbed over skin. Its claws were out, it opened its mouth to hiss and revealed a chipped canine.

‘He’s black just like you wanted.’ Naruto beamed. ‘If I had more time, well, yaknow, I was planning a whole cute little basket of furballs for you, but then I found this dude and he reminded me exactly of you. Granny thinks so too.’

Tsunade smiled a very satisfied smile at Sasuke. ‘Yes, I do. There’s a remarkable resemblance.’ 

The kitten hissed again.

‘He’s an orphan. Like us. His mom got run over.’ Sadness momentarily clouded Naruto’s eyes. ‘We think his siblings were trapped and drowned by some kids, but he somehow escaped and found me.’ Naruto grinned and rubbed his nose against the manky kitten. ‘He had a ton of fleas, which is why the poor thing has such bad flea eczema. I think most of them have gone now with the flea treatment, but it’ll take a while to clear because, yaknow, there were so many fleas to start with they won’t all disappear in a couple of days.’

‘Has he got a name?’ Sasuke hoped he sounded interested, but the question was just for delay while he worked out how to get rid of the ugly animal without hurting his fiancé’s feelings and ruining their wedding before it had even begun.

‘Sasuke-kitty, see it’s written on his harness,’ Naruto replied immediately.

Sasuke squinted to see the name carefully written in some sort of glitter pen on the leather of the pink harness. Sasuke swallowed. He remembered so long ago the day he couldn’t forget when Naruto had come to him with so much hope in his heart and presented him with a tomato plant called Sasuke-plant, which his name formed in glitter on the plant pot. The same day Sasuke had wanted him to be fucked by three violent men in order to ‘cure’ Sasuke of his love for a whore.

With what was a genuinely grateful smile, Sasuke took the creature off Naruto and placed it on the ground, holding its lead in the hand furthest from his lover. The kitten immediately climbed up Sasuke’s trousers, stopping and hanging off the top of his thighs. The guests laughed. It took extreme effort not to react by pulling it off his leg and flinging it across the beach. But that wasn’t who he was now. That was not the man that Naruto would ever agree to marry. Gently he picked it up, ignoring the fact that it was resisting by digging its claws deeper into his skin and held it in the crook of his elbow. It rewarded him by urinating, the hot stink powerful enough to sink through both his jacket and shirt.

Behind him the guest guffawed and shouted about the smell.

‘You so nervous that Naruto will come to his senses that you wet yourself, Uchiha?’ That was Kiba louder than the rest.

Neji launched into a speech about ambergris which was basically whale vomit and the basis of some of the world’s most expensive scents. Sasuke was not sure if this was supposed to be some confused defence of Sasuke reeking of cat piss or just Neji being drunk. There was not much time to think about it as Karin slipped in front of him and threw her arms around his shoulders.

She was unapologetically sobbing. ‘My beautiful Sasuke, you’re perfect but today you’re making a big mistake. This is not the wedding you deserve! It’s not too late. It doesn’t have to be like this. I love you and I’ll give you everything that you ever want and need.’

The kitten hissed and scratched Karin, she remained oblivious as she started to detail all the ways she would serve Sasuke. All of them sexual. It was Suigetsu who roughly yanked her away from Sasuke. He gave Sasuke a shrug, which between them was the equivalent of a heartfelt sorry for bringing her.

To the woman, Suigetsu said, ‘Take a good look at Naruto’s ass, now that’s what perfect is. Just accept none of us have any chance of competing with him.’

This started a discussion about exactly how amazing Naruto’s derriere was. Sasuke was actively relived that Neji was busy talking about castoreum, a beaver anal secretion used in both perfume and food and did not engage in any of the admiration of his fiancé.

But it was still disturbing listening to his wedding guests chat about his lover’s physical assets.

‘His body is so much better than you’d imagine,’ Sakura giggled. ‘You like touch his t-shirt or something just casually, and then feel all these unexpected muscles. If I wasn’t in love with Rock Lee, I definitely would’ve paid for a real tumble with him rather than a pretend one.’

‘Yes, my flower, that’d be a good use of your money. Naruto has an amazing body. I’ll work even harder for you to try and match his physique and please you better in bed.’ Rock Lee started to give a demonstration of jump squats to show how to best tone the glutes, instead of his usual positive shouts about energy and youth though he was growling taunts and threats to anyone who dared to think that he couldn’t do a thousand of them.

Naruto himself was blushing and rubbing the back of his head. ‘This isn’t quite how I imagined it. I just knew I couldn’t wait any longer to be married to you.’

Sasuke turned to his lover and despite everything smiled. ‘Me neither.’

Naruto visibly relaxed and the familiar grin returned to his face. ‘At least Sasuke-kitty is a success. He really likes you. I haven’t heard him purr like that before.’

The mangy kitten had curled up in Sasuke’s arm and was somehow making a sound that belonged to a lion breaking through a bone.

‘I don’t think I’ve ever heard any cat purr like that before,’ Sasuke managed to say.

Inwardly he cursed himself for ever arguing with Naruto about bringing a tomato plant to their wedding, a plant as a bouquet would not have covered Sasuke with urine or pinpricked its claw over his legs. And in the future it would have giving them tasty fruit, who knew what this ugly creature would do? Lesson learned, go with Naruto’s first crazy idea rather than give him any space to think of anything crazier. Under Naruto’s big blue eyed happy gaze though, Sasuke felt compelled to stroke the little thing and smile down at it. When he touched the tuft of fur left on top of its head, the bone crunching sound, or purring as Naruto called it, got even louder.

With the noise behind them of Karin’s weeping, Rock Lee’s workout, Neji’s drone which had moved on to animal faeces used in perfumes, and the general continuing chatter about Naruto’s posterior, Sasuke found the kitten’s reaction calming and stroked it some more.

‘It’s an orphan you said? And its siblings were killed?’ Sasuke asked quietly.

Naruto nodded sadly.

‘I’m glad you found it…him. That’s why he’s purring, not because I’m stroking him, but because he knows how lucky he was to be saved by Naruto Uzumaki. He realises that for the rest of his life he’ll be safe and cared for. Even when things don’t make sense, because he’s a dumb animal and things…emotions especially…can be confusing and make him feel vulnerable which can make him lash out, but now he knows he’ll not be scared again because he’s been blessed with the most patient and kindest and generous man as his lifelong friend. And he’ll never be alone again.’

Naruto leaned in as if he was going to kiss Sasuke but instead jumped away and turned to A. A appeared to be engaged in the incredibly dangerous action of trying to flirt with Tsunade, but he gave Naruto his immediate attention.

‘Look, the sun is rising. Properly rising.’ Naruto had real panic and urgency in his voice. ‘I want to get married as the sun rises!’

A stood in front of the couple and began talking in the loud confident voice of a practised public speaker. ‘So we are gathered here today to celebrate our very own brat, Naruto Uzumaki, having used his, admittedly sometimes well-hidden charms, to catch the richest bastard in town, Sasuke Uchiha.’

The guests clapped and cheered as if they were at a football match, ‘Go Naruto, go Naruto!’

Naruto squeezed Sasuke’s hand. ‘I wrote that introduction. Well, A’s, actually changed a lot of it…and missed most of it out, there were a few pages, but he kept the bit about you being a bastard.’ He grinned at Sasuke. ‘Maybe he couldn’t read my writing as I was writing it in a hurry. Or he’ll put all the stuff in later, like what I wrote about how you have the most amazing fingers in the world. Plus, how gorgeous your eyes are. And how sweet you look when you fall asleep in my arms. And…’

Tsunade clipped Naruto around the ear. ‘Oi! A is trying to marry you to your bastard, pay attention.’

Naruto went quiet but he didn’t stop staring at Sasuke and Sasuke was powerless to turn away from those blue eyes. This most important ceremony of his entire life and he was holding a bedraggled cat, stunk of urine, was surrounded by drunken loudness, and barely heard a word that was said, because as he looked at Naruto it felt like his heart had stopped beating and while the rest of the world continued to move in an ordinary way, they were separate, entwined together in an eternity of love.

There were moments when the outside tugged him back though. When A said that they had written their own vows to say and the guests went unusually silent waiting for him to speak.

Sasuke’s face heated. He tried to speak but his mouth had gone dry. Why in all the fires of hell had Naruto told A they had written their own vows when yesterday Sasuke had thought his wedding day was months away? What was the yellowhead expecting him to come up with on the spot like this?

Naruto gazed at him with happy eager eyes. ‘Don’t worry, sweetlips, I’ll go first. I was a bit scared when A talked about vows to me, it was like sooo tempting to just tell him to go with whatever is standard, but I knew you wouldn’t want the same old words that everyone else has so that I had to be brave and just be willing to speak from my heart to you even though I had no time to prepare anything. It took ages to write what I wanted A to say and he ignored most of it!’

A gave a hearty laugh. ‘I would have read it if I could, but your handwriting is terrible, kid!’

Naruto stuck his tongue out at the big man and then turned back to Sasuke with a tender smile. ‘Yeah, like I was saying before I was interrupted. I was frightened about the idea of making something up, but now, I’m here with you, I know I don’t need to be brave at all, talking to you is the easiest thing in the world. And, yaknow, with some of my friends still not getting how much you and I dig each other.’ Naruto turned and winked at Neji, gave Kiba the thumbs up and tapped Tsunade on the arm. ‘I’m really excited about them all being here to listen to our true love vows and know without ever doubting again, or lecturing me about you being a cold-hearted snob. I’m being politer there than what they really say as this is our wedding, but you know what I mean, don’t you, Mr Almost-Uzumaki? Being able to declare my feelings for you in front of the people I care about the most, is like one of the most special things that is ever going to happen to me in my whole life.’

Sasuke wet his lips. Naruto was so genuinely excited. But Sasuke’s heart thumped at even the idea of speaking his heart in front of all these people. It had been difficult enough allowing himself to be so vulnerable with Naruto alone. But he had to say something. He was frightened that if Naruto kept on speaking Sasuke would start crying and not be able to stop.

What had happened to the businessman that never experienced a single instance of nervousness no matter how much money rode on his success in a meeting or negotiation? What had Naruto done to him?

He couldn’t speak his own true words. He was just simply incapable of it. And to give something polished but meaningless that wouldn’t cause him to turn into a useless weeping wreck would be an insult to Naruto. He searched through his mind for all the poetry he had memorised and stopped at Shakespeare. There had to be something there that could encapsulate his feelings for Naruto far better than if he tried to search for his own words. And although Naruto’s attention span struggled with theatre trips where the actors didn’t burst into song and dance every five minutes, they could watch Shakespeare plays on tv in twenty minute chunks allowing Naruto plenty of breaks to replenish his snacks. And the yellowhead had definitely been interested when Sasuke had told him that many of the sonnets Shakespeare wrote were believed to have been addressed to a man, possibly a man he was in love with.

He coughed and then began.

‘ _Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?_

 _Thou art more lovely and more temperate_.’

Sasuke’s mind went blank. Probably the most famous sonnet in the English language and all he could remember was the first two lines.

Naruto grinned encouragingly. Then after a few moments when Sasuke failed to say anymore he cocked his head to the side and his brows knitted in confusion, though he kept on smiling.

Sasuke couldn’t remember any more of the poem. Instead of anything useful his mind filled with Naruto and him laying semi-naked on the sofa watching some film that could have been written by a five year old riding a sugar high, with Naruto sleepily snuggling into him and saying, ‘Do you know what the best thing about not escorting anymore is?’ The answer wasn’t the obvious freedom of not having to have sex with random people, but instead was apparently: ‘Just getting to be myself with you. Sometimes, I had a lot of fun going to all those places I’d never choose to go on my own, but it’s so much better being with you and being loved for me. You know? I don’t have to pretend I’m excited by a museum exhibit about Dutch lace, although that was kinda interesting in the end. But that’s by the by, the important thing it’s like for the first time in my sex life, I can breathe with you knowing we can watch trashy films together and that’s fine. All you want is my company, you take me as I am. And you’re never going to expect me to say intelligent things about a play where they just stare at each other and don’t talk for like all of the first half.’

Sasuke had of course replied almost as a knee jerk response between them that he never expected Naruto to say anything intelligent. And then soon they had been in a wrestling match which naturally led to rough fucking on the lounge floor.

There was nothing especially memorable or different about that moment, so why was he thinking about it now when Naruto and all his guests were expecting romantic declarations of love?

Because Naruto would be interested in Shakespeare if it was Sasuke talking about the Bard, but he wouldn’t be interested in it for his own sake. If Sasuke was going to show Naruto how much he loved him, it had to be in a different way. He opened his mouth. And:

_Oh, I've been dreaming through my lonely past_

_Now I just made it, I found you at last_

_So come on, now let's try it, I love you, can't deny it_

_Cause it's true_

_I do, I do, I do, I do, I do_

Yes. That sound was him singing. How had the universe allowed this to happen? Why hadn’t the sand beneath his feet softened and swallowed him and this manky kitten before ever letting such a travesty to occur as an Uchiha singing _badly_ in public? And even though this was one of the most horrendous thing he could ever imagine happening, his mouth was insisting on continuing to sing to his fiancé. Repeating the same words just as Naruto had done when he walked across the beach towards Sasuke.

Naruto flung his arms around Sasuke, having just enough awareness only to squeeze the man and not put any pressure on the kitten. He covered Sasuke’s whole face in kisses. He stepped back and in his completely unabashed voice began to sing with Sasuke.

Together, in something that was almost harmony, they sang the song to the end gazing into each other’s eyes.

_So come on, now let's try it, I love you, can't deny it_

_'Cos it's true_

_I do, I do, I do, I do, I do_

_So love me or leave me, make your choice but believe me_

_I love you_

_I do, I do, I do, I do, I do_

_I can't conceal it, don't you see, can't you feel it?_

_Don't you too?_

_I do, I do, I do, I do, I do_

When they finished, there was a moments silence, then the guests behind started booming out their own version of the song. Sasuke and Naruto remained gazing at each other as around them the one song turned into an Abba medley which included half the guests singing ‘Dancing Queen’ while the other half tried to out-volume them singing ‘Waterloo’, with one lone voice dropping Abba completely and ‘Defying Gravity’.

Naruto glowed with pleasure and Sasuke knew that seeing Naruto happy gave him far more joy than if one of his own favourite arias was being professionally performed at his wedding.

When the singing finally tailed off with a rendition of _Fernando_ where no one seemed certain of the words, Naruto beamed at Sasuke.

‘Thank you so so much, Sasuke. Now these are my vows for you.’ He cupped Sasuke’s cheek and said, ‘I love you’ as if he was the first person to ever speak the words.

Sasuke’s skin trembled into goose pimples and he rubbed his eyes which prickled as if they were going to cry.

‘You all right, Strawberrynips?’ Naruto asked with audible concern despite the awful use of a pet name.

‘Just some sand irritating my eyes. Must have blown in there.’

Naruto nodded though an unusually shy smile graced his face as he looked around at the incredibly still morning without a hint of a breeze.

 

At the exchanging of the rings, Naruto gave him a simple gold band with their first initials and the date they first had sex engraved in it. Sasuke laughed as he recognised what the numbers were, trust his lover to choose that instead of their wedding day. Then his breath caught as he realised he had nothing for Naruto. It had been too quick. There had been too many disagreements beforehand. Naruto wouldn’t expect Sasuke to have chosen a ring on his own. But still, he felt disappointed in himself, he wasn’t into surplus jewellery but he could have picked out one of his own rings to give to Naruto for the ceremony until his lover chose one for himself, but in preparing himself after Tsunade’s wake-up call he hadn’t even thought of it.

The kitten suddenly made a raspy sound and dug its claws into Sasuke. The surprise, or the general disappointment of letting Naruto down, meant he lost his composure and swore.

Naruto reached over and stroked the kitten. ‘It’s okay, little dude, I’m not fond of ghosts either, but GhostItachi is cool, he won’t hurt you.’

Sasuke felt a tap on his pocket. His brother was here. Not as he normally saw him, but as a child from the photo he’d found in their mother’s diary. Seeing Itachi shorter than him and looking so young was more of a shock than have Naruto talk so casually about ghosts in front of everyone. The air in his lungs compressed. And then everything changed.  The sea and the sky were the same but it was a day from long years ago. He recognised Naruto’s parents not far away sitting on a picnic rug, Minato comically yawning with Kushina thumping him and insisting that sunrise was the most perfect time of the day with so much hope and opportunity before them and he should get up more often to see it with her. Naruto and Sasuke were together holding hands with Itachi behind them with his arms around both of their shoulders. Naruto was babbling away constantly, Sasuke at some level knew he was talking in a nonsense language, but he understood every word his best friend was saying. He was agreeing with his mother that this was the very best time to be awake and how awesome it was to know that they had a whole day of fun together. He was also being very Naruto and boasting that he would beat Sasuke in every single race they ran today, totally oblivious to the fact that he was obviously younger with stumpier toddler legs.

Yet Naruto did win as they ran up and down the beach, because a laughing Itachi scooped him up and ran with him, only putting him down so he could cross the finish line on his own and declare himself a winner. Which led to a game where poor Itachi was nagged into being their donkey and giving them constant rides, but Itachi kept on laughing as if he was having as much fun as them.

Adult Sasuke never remembered having seen his brother so freely happy.

A picnic magically appeared and Sasuke was a bossy child snatching cakes out of Naruto’s hands and replacing them with healthy tomatoes. Naruto blew raspberries at him, made farting noises with his arm and called Sasuke ‘Stinky’, the only real word he seemed to be bothered to pronounce properly, but he ate the tomatoes. And then Naruto pointed to his parents’ wedding rings and held up his own empty fingers and sulked at Sasuke.

Adult Sasuke looked at the plump little child and his round cheeks which didn’t have the hint of a scar on them.

While Naruto played with his parents, Itachi helped Sasuke twist the reeds together that grew on the sand dunes, until finally they had one that was more circle than sharp broken angles. It was a pretty ring with a red grass twined around a yellow one. Naruto didn’t stop smiling after Sasuke had placed it on his finger and continually showed it off to his parents, Itachi, all their teddies and Sasuke himself. They played together, making sandcastles, nagging Itachi into giving them piggy backs, creating fantasy worlds where they were both magical kings, until the evening got cold and they were called into the hut for dinner. The sun set behind them as they walked home supporting each other with slow tired steps as if they’d spent the day travelling across the whole world together.

Sasuke blinked several times before his brain was certain he was back at his wedding where he was supposed to be. GhostItachi had gone, but without thinking, Sasuke reached into his pocket where his brother had touched him and pulled out a reed ring similar to the one from his memory… or whatever it had been? But this ring was made for an adult Naruto and simple though it was it looked like it had been crafted by an artisan. Without saying anything he pushed it onto his fiancé’s finger. Their eyes met and he knew, like he’d always somehow known, that him and Naruto were made for each other.

There was something to sign, which he managed even though his hand was shaking.  He rested his head against his new husband’s shoulder with absolute relief that that was the last time in his life he’d ever sign anything as Sasuke Uchiha.

Sasuke kissed his new husband, a romantic almost chaste kiss with their lips meeting, but their tongues staying in their own mouths for once. Sasuke stepped away with a slight blush, aware that he was holding onto a kitten and smelt of cat.

‘I better go and have a shower,’ he murmured.

Naruto nodded but didn’t offer to join him, his attention was diverted by hugging all his friends and receiving their congratulations.

Not knowing what else to do, Sasuke went and showered, taking the little kitten with him as he didn’t know what else to do with it. The animal stayed out of the water but sat in the bathroom fixing him with its one eye. He was somehow glad of its company. If he was entirely alone he was afraid he would have actually started crying from the strange mixture of feelings that swirled through him; relief that Naruto had actually married him, disappointment that Naruto’d preferred his guests over getting naked with his new husband, and just the pure overwhelming emotion of this being his wedding day.

He took his time getting dressed. For a long time he sat on the bed, stroking the kitten absently as he stared at the new ring on his finger.

When he re-joined the others, a party was in full swing. He acted as a servant rather than the focus of the celebration, not drinking, or even eating. When the shops opened he drove into town and brought more supplies which he mixed into cocktails and cooked into hor d'oeuvres, which vanished in a much shorter time than it took him to prepare them. But he was glad to have an excuse to keep busy and stay out of the way. He’d done well so far, he’d got through the whole ceremony, helped by the enchantment of Naruto’s presence, but now it was like a burning itch under his skin, he wanted everyone gone and to have Naruto to himself. Which was why Sasuke had had only the smallest sip of champagne to toast his new husband, as he could not risk loosening his guard even an iota and starting his first day of marriage by throwing all Naruto’s friends out.

In contrast Naruto was giddily drunk and at the centre of the party which involved games that wouldn’t amuse a six year old, but was keeping this group of tipsy adults so occupied that they weren’t even close to leaving. There were arm wrestling matches, wheelbarrow races, one handed press up competitions, some sort of thing that involved people being tied to each other. For that one, Sasuke had pressed Suigetsu to be Naruto’s partner before Neji or Hinata could get close to him. The more alcohol that was consumed the less people seemed to care that they were here because Naruto was now officially married. Sasuke didn’t trust himself to be that close to his lover without dragging him up to the bedroom and bolting the door against everyone, but Suigetsu could be relied on not to do anything to unduly upset Sasuke.

Finally, it was Naruto himself who ended it. He reached a level of drunkenness where other things obviously appealed more than playing a succession of games with his friends and he wasn’t shy about telling everyone. In the middle of a musical chairs which was going on forever because no one was taking any chairs away, Naruto stood up on one of them and shouted out, ‘Guys, y’all are the best and I’m sooo amazingly happy that you came through for me and made this happen for me, but my balls are going to burst if I don’t get to fuck my new husband soon. And, yaknow, with this all being last minute I haven’t got a hotel booked so I need y’all to clear out so I can get some hot Sasuke action right about there.’ He pointed down to a very precise spot on the floor.

There was a mixture of boos and cheers, a very heartfelt plea from Karin to be allowed to ‘warm Sasuke up’ for Naruto, and looks from both Hyuga cousins which were half lust and half sorrow. But taxis were called, Tsunade and A dealt with returning the horse and carriage to wherever it came from, Sasuke gave lifts to the station, and finally everyone was gone. Apart from Naruto. And the kitten.

The little animal had been following Sasuke around without the need for the leash, it seemed to have some sort of mistaken identity and think it was a dog rather than realise it was an independent cat that was only supposed to appear when it was being fed. Sasuke hadn’t minded it and had adjusted to the sharp pain every time the thing decided being at his feet was too far away and it needed to claw its way up his legs again. But now Sasuke nestled it into the little basket he’d found that Naruto had obviously brought for the kitten and promised it a life time of cat toys if it would go to sleep and leave him with only Naruto to concentrate on.

Once the pet had settled, after lots of stroking and purring, Sasuke went to find his man. Naruto was standing naked on the beach staring out to sea. For a moment Sasuke just enjoyed gazing at him until he could resist no longer. Then he walked behind Naruto wrapping his arms around his chest. Naruto put his hands on top of Sasuke’s.

‘You’re mine,’ they said in unison and then laughed.

‘I can’t believe we made it.’ Sasuke nuzzled against Naruto’s ear.

‘I can’t believe it took us so long,’ Naruto replied. ‘I was yours before I was even born, you little foot tickler.’

They held each other like this until Naruto shook away from Sasuke and lay face down in the sand, moving his legs and arms to make a sand angel. ‘Make one too, babes, so they can be holding hands all night.’

Sasuke decided to forgo the useless lecture about Naruto laying naked in the sand without a blanket and getting grains where no sane man wanted them. Instead he undressed, tossing his clothes to the side and made a sand angel to match his lover’s.

They got up, Sasuke went to lead his lover back inside, but Naruto flopped back face down onto the sand only a couple of feet from their sand angels.

‘How drunk are you?’ Sasuke asked

‘Somewhere between Rock Lee and you,’ was the mumbled reply.

His fiancé wasn’t moving so Sasuke spread his jacket out and sat down on it next to the man. True he loved Naruto beyond distraction, but making a naked sand angel was still the limit to how much he was willing to interact with the sand without any barrier between it and his skin. Naruto might like sand grains all over his skin but that definitely wasn’t Sasuke’s thing.

Something that was entirely his thing though was touching his lover. He stroked his hand over Naruto’s shoulders, pausing to stroke and caress every contour of his muscular frame as if Sasuke didn’t already have every inch of this man’s body memorised.

Naruto made a noise that was remarkably like the kitten’s purring. He rested the side of his head on his arms and gazed up at Sasuke. ‘You’re my husband, Sasuke Uzumaki, _you_ are actually truly in totally reality _my_ husband.’

The irritations of sand on bare skin was completely forgotten and Sasuke lay down next to his man. ‘And you are my husband, Naruto.’

Naruto chuckled. ‘That’s how it usually works. If you’re my husband, I’m your husband too.’ He reached a hand out and lazily rubbed Sasuke’s thigh. ‘So, you pretend to be the cleverer one out of the two of us, so tell me what should I do now as a newly married man?’

‘Well, as your good friend, I’d advise you that the most sensible thing to do would be to put up with me for a year, two if you can manage it, then get yourself a good divorce lawyer. And enjoy the rest of your life with all the money you’ve got off me and a beautiful lover who is decidedly not an arrogant bastard, but someone who really deserves to have all your kindness and beauty in their life.’

‘That does sound like wise advice, but as you’re such a good friend you’ll know that I never do anything sensible, so any other suggestions more suitable for me?’

‘Hnnnnn. I’ll think about it for you. You don’t mind if I amuse myself while I ponder your question, do you?’ Sasuke ran a finger down Naruto’s spine stopping at the curve of his buttocks.

‘Amuse yourself all you want, yaknow, if it helps you think about what I should do with my new hubby.’

Sasuke slid a digit between Naruto’s tight buttocks and rubbed it in a circular motion around his sensitive hole.

Naruto gave gratifying moans in response to Sasuke’s attentions, regularly moving his hips with little whines to beg for Sasuke to press inside him, but Sasuke continued with the same teasing movements. Until with a grunt, Naruto’s hand snaked out, gripped Sasuke’s erection and began pumping it. Sasuke had been enjoying looking at the luscious inviting site of Naruto’s ass, but now he met and held Naruto’s challenging gaze with raised eyebrows. This was of course how they started their sexual life as a married couple, with the game they’d been playing over and over again since that first date when Naruto danced in his shower all those years ago. Which one of them would break first, either by coming or begging to fuck.

It was a game that Sasuke almost always lost. And he could feel that being married made absolutely no difference to that. Under Naruto’s expert administrations the heat was already flowing through him desperate for quick release. But then Naruto lightened his hold and his fingers caressed rather than wanked Sasuke. He held Sasuke at the edge of ecstasy in that magic place which was all pleasure.

Sasuke smiled at his lover and subtly changed the way he was playing with Naruto, using his knowledge of his man to move his fingers to press and brush against Naruto’s explosive spots, causing him waves of joy, but not touching him long enough in one place to push him into an irresistible climax.

They remained like this for a long time, lying together on the beach with the eternity of the blue sky above them and the endless sea in front of them as they pleasured each other’s bodies.

‘If this is what married life is like, I could get used to you being my hubby very quickly,’ Naruto whispered.

‘I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get used to having someone as beautiful as you as my husband.’ Sasuke lowered his eyes. ‘For so much of my life I strove and succeeded at being independent and I used other people, but I never needed anyone. Now…Naruto, without you I am lost. And, when I think about the ways I hurt you, the times I should’ve lost you…I can barely…’

In a swift motion, one of those surprising moments when the brash loud man revealed what perfect control he had of his whole body, Naruto swung himself on top of Sasuke, put his hands on either side of Sasuke’s face and kissed him with incredible tenderness.

‘The past is only important in the fact that it brought us together. We live in the right now, Sasuke Uzumaki.’ He kissed Sasuke’s eyelids. ‘And we are the future.’

Sasuke wrapped his arms around Naruto not caring that his lover was covered in abrasive sand just wanting him to be as close as humanly possible. But Naruto jumped away.

‘Heck, babes, I’ve just realised I haven’t given you your wedding present yet!’

‘It wasn’t the kitten?’ Sasuke said with a mixture of disappointment that Naruto had pulled away and trepidation over what other wedding surprise Naruto could have organised.

‘No, Sasuke-kitty was like our bridesmaid as I had no time to get any kids trained up to dance down the aisle like characters out of _Peter Pan_. I didn’t like even have time to buy Sasuke-kitty a little Tinkerbell outfit to wear, but it was worth it, wasn’t it, to be back together sooner?’

Before Sasuke could reassure him that he was more than willing to forgo dancing children in order to get married quicker and have his man back by his side, Naruto had run off looking for his phone.

He found it eventually further up the beach where it had fallen out of a pocket when him and Rock Lee had been having a break dancing competition.

‘I didn’t know you could break dance,’ Sasuke said.

Naruto laughed. ‘Yep, you’d be right with that one, turns out I can’t. But you have to try these things right?’

Sasuke almost replied _No, Idiot, you definitely don’t_ , but this was Naruto’s wedding day and instead with a smile he said, ‘It’s always good to try new things.’

The yellow-head gave a grateful grin as if he was fully aware that Sasuke had restrained his natural reply. Then he thrust his phone into Sasuke’s face. On the screen was displayed a pic of their bedroom with a Tigger teddy so large it made their bed look small.

‘Happy Wedding Day, Bastard! I brought him ages ago, when, yaknow, you first proposed and we read that stuff about your father burning your teddy. Granny’s like almost as happy as you and me that we’ve finally got married as I’ve been storing it at her place. I wanted to bring him with us today, but she insisted that I would have to dump A or Killer B if I wanted it as there wasn’t enough room in her car. So I took him home so he’ll be waiting for us when we go back.’

‘How did you have time for all this?’ Sasuke’s eyes flicked between the photo of the teddy and his lover’s face.

‘Toady drove extra fast for me, and all our friends have been absolutely amazing. I would’ve got married to you the moment you asked if I knew I could put it together so quick.’ A brief frown flickered over his brow. ‘Though I wouldn’t have had Sasuke-kitty then, and your teddy wouldn’t have arrived in time, and I wouldn’t have been able to get your ring, I did that a few months ago and…’

Sasuke kissed Naruto just to stop him speaking. Through all their disagreements about the wedding day, Naruto had kept optimistically excited and had still planned and bought things, whereas Sasuke had just been frustrated and become stagnant…though he had thought a long time about the wedding present he wanted to gift to Naruto.

Forcing himself to meet Naruto’s eyes despite the sudden shyness of what he was about to say, he said, ‘The teddy was so thoughtful, you truly are my Sunshine.  What I wanted to give you is…I…mean…we’ve been lovers for a long time now, and I remember you saying that you were versatile and topped as often as you bottomed…but with me…just being solely a top…we’ve never explored that part of your sexuality.’ Sasuke took a deep breath. Naruto was definitely the loudmouth between the two of them, and he had expected him to interrupt by now, instead of leaving Sasuke to stammer on. ‘I’m willing to…I’m happy for you to…if you want to…obviously…you can…I can…we can do things…it is natural, after all, that we should, and I really want you to….fuck me.’

Naruto stared off to the side. After a long moment, where Sasuke stood shivering aware of his and Naruto’s nakedness in an entirely new way, Naruto grabbed Sasuke’s hand and ran towards the sea.

‘Let’s swim!’ he yelled.

Normally Sasuke would protest about the lack of wisdom of swimming after the amount of alcohol Naruto had consumed, but he stayed with his lover, keeping a cautious eye on him and ensuring he was always close to him as they splashed amongst the waves until as spontaneously as he had run into the sea Naruto turned and ran back to the beach hut. Sasuke kept pace with him and when they stopped in the front room he gazed at the wet body of his partner and waited for some response to the offer he’d made.

‘How comes we’re still covered in sand after we’ve been swimming for ages?’ Naruto brushed his hand over Sasuke’s shoulder. ‘Shall we have a bath? We can warm up after the sea, I was trying to be all manly and hide it, but fuck it was freezing, my balls are hiding so far up in my body I don’t think I’ll ever see them again. And have you seen my nipples? I could like carve my name in glass with them they’re that hard!’

Naruto bounced off towards the bathroom without waiting for a response. Sasuke only had the briefest pause before following him. His present had been rejected. It was a relief really, something he was only doing as he thought Naruto would like the idea, he himself, had no desire for it. None at all. Why would he want to feel Naruto’s thick cock splitting him open? He’d lived all this time without knowing what it would be like to be filled with his lover, he was sure he could make it through his whole life without swapping around and having Naruto pounding his lust into him. And what he was feeling right now definitely wasn’t disappointment. This was his wedding day and the only emotion he was allowed was an overwhelming happiness, it might sometimes feel strange and made him want to cry but it was all definitely happiness.

With that mental lecture to himself he followed after his new husband, concentrating solely on the pleasure of sharing a hot bath with the man he loved and trying not to think about what Naruto _wouldn’t_ be doing to him. Ever.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really stupidly sad having come to the end of this story but I think it's reached it's natural conclusion, only about 13 chapters longer than my original plan!
> 
> I've been so lucky in having MrJonesandMe beta read for me, it's been so inspiring and helpful having someone look at my chapters before I risk sharing them on here.
> 
> I can't say how grateful I am to everyone who has left kudos, I literally squealed when the kudo went over 400. It is unbelievably wonderful that people have liked what I've written and knowing that so many people out there are on the same wavelength as me :)  
> I've noticed the kudos has risen on some of my other stories, so big big thanks to anyone who has also explored those.
> 
> And such huge hugs to all who have taken the time to leave a comment, reading the comments is what gives me the confidence to keep writing and posting, it is so eerie when you post something here and no one says anything! So lots of love to those very special people who've been here through the whole work leaving me feedback.
> 
> I'm crossing everything and hoping that this final scene is enjoyable and fun for you all and that you've liked the whole journey with these crazy mad lovers x

Sasuke pulled one of Naruto’s feet out from beneath the bubbles and caressed it between both his hands.

Naruto gave a sigh of pleasure and splashed his other foot up onto Sasuke’s chest, teasing his toes expertly over Sasuke’s nipples.  Despite the confidence of his actions his voice was unusually shy.

‘You haven’t said much about, yaknow, the wedding? You’ve like seemed really happy about us being married, but…ummm I don’t know? I mean… was Killer B’s rap too much? Did it go on for too long? I had no idea there were so many words you could make rhyme with ass.’

Sasuke raised his eyebrows. ‘Killer B did a rap?’

Naruto ‘s mouth fell open. ‘Yeees, he most certainly did. How could you have missed that?’

The colour rose in Sasuke’s cheeks. ‘I was staring at you.  Everything else disappeared.’

‘Were you? Really? I was kinda lost in you too. But, yaknow, B’s rap was hard to zone out of. Did you miss Neji going on and on about perfumes too? I sure hope you did because that got gross really fast.  If anything he said was close to true _please_ don’t ever buy me any more of those expensive scents with horrible ingredients ever again. But I don’t think it can be true because how would he know so much about random stuff like that? All the time we were together he never showed any interest in perfume stuff, he was really clear about what he liked, yaknow, he really loved…’

‘One of the projects I had him work on was the cosmetics and perfumery industry,’ Sasuke quickly interrupted. He did not want to hear about what Neji loved doing with Naruto at any time, but especially not on their wedding day. To cover the sharp panic in his initial response Sasuke went into a needlessly long explanation about the ridiculous profit margins in the beauty industry balanced against the difficulty of entering the overcrowded market with a new brand.  He heard himself going into a boasting spiel about how he personally manoeuvred several take overs. To his surprise Naruto listened with wide eyed eagerness, although that could be more to do with Sasuke’s continual massaging of his lover’s foot.

‘Sorry. I know this is boring to you,’ Sasuke finally apologised when the cooling water warned him how long he had been speaking for.

Naruto shook his head. ‘You never tell me any of this stuff. It’s cool to learn new things about you. It’s kinda odd thinking that Neji and all the hundreds of other people you’ve worked with know all these facts about a massive chunk of your life that is like a big blank to me.’

‘It is all in the past, irrelevant.’ Sasuke shrugged. ‘It is of no more interest to me than it is to you.’

‘Yeah right, which is why you’ve been talking all excited about it for ages even though you’ve got naked me in a bath with you.’ Naruto splashed Sasuke.  Then with a colour to his cheeks he said, ‘Or are you just trying to avoid answering my question about whether you hated the wedding ceremony?’

Sasuke swallowed back and completely repressed his instinctive angry reply that it was Naruto who had entirely avoided answering Sasuke’s offer of bottoming for his new husband. 

Instead he smiled and said, ‘You know it isn’t the wedding I would have planned, and it probably isn’t even the wedding I imagined _you_ planning, but it couldn’t be anything but perfect. You agreed to be my husband, Naruto. I didn’t realise how different it’d feel. I thought it was just the natural continuation of our relationship and useful for legal reasons, but I never knew it’d feel like _this_.’ He let go of Naruto’s feet and gazed down at the ring on his finger.  He knew it’d be useless to try and express how he felt, the happiness and the security, the fact that him and Naruto were now officially a family, and one that had chosen each other and were so much better than the one he had been born into…but he had felt all these things before when they were dating and then engaged. He had no idea why a few words on a beach spoken in front of Naruto’s drunken friends should have made such a difference, he only knew that somehow the love and bond between them had grown even stronger.

To try and lighten the intensity that was building up inside him, Sasuke forced a smile that was incredibly wide by his standards and quipped, ‘I did love the wedding just how it was. And we’ll have plenty of stories to tell our grandchildren, won’t we?’

The widening of Naruto’s eyes warned him immediately how careless his words had been.

‘Wow,’ Naruto whispered. ‘You’ve never talked about it so I’ve just assumed…and also never talked about it...but you really see grandkids in our future? Have you thought a lot about it? I mean I’d obviously prefer to adopt with all the people out there needing a home, but if you want to go the surrogacy route we can do that too. Or, yaknow, talk about it a bit…a lot…work out how things’ll work out. Wow. Just wow.’ He leaned his head back and stared up at the ceiling.

Sasuke opened his mouth to try and explain that it was just a standard phrase, it hadn’t meant anything, knowing that it was better to stamp this out before Naruto got carried away.  But the simple words refused to leave his mouth. A vision of him and Naruto filling their large properties with children, bringing them here to the beach, teaching them to swim, running up and down the sand giving them piggy back rides as his brother had done to the when they were young, the possibility of it all made Sasuke's heart ache with a whole new level of yearning.

He took a deep breath and managed to finally say, ‘Let’s just enjoy being newlyweds for now, we only get this experience one time in our lives together. And we have a new kitten to focus on and look after as it is. But in the future we can talk about…taking on more responsibilities.’

‘I know that is Sasuke speak for _we are going to have a fuck off massive family_!’  Naruto pulled his legs back and dived forward onto Sasuke, his mouth covering Sasuke’s neck in kisses and his hands exploring every part of his lover he could reach.

Sasuke moaned, fisting his hands through Naruto’s wet hair and wrapping an arm around his back. They twisted around in the bath that suddenly seemed to have halved in size and was not nearly large enough to contain their energy and passion. But they’d been together long enough to know how to pleasure each other in much smaller spaces than this. Sasuke was starting to move a hand down to Naruto's bottom with more purpose,  when suddenly Naruto leapt away. Sasuke barely had time to blink before his lover moved from pinching his nipples to standing outside the bath with a towel wrapped around him.

Sasuke didn’t bother suppressing his groan of frustration. ‘Why this prolonged tease? You sent your friends away because you said you wanted to fuck me.’

He feared his voice sounded petulant and complaining, the opposite of the dominating commanding tone Naruto would very happily and very sexually respond to if he was in the mood. Right now Naruto laughed.

‘Yeah, I was hoping _you_ would get your grump on and throw them all out because you couldn’t stand another minute without being inside your new husband. I'm not used to being the one who ends a party.’

Sasuke got out of the bath, emptying it, and starting to dry himself with slow deliberate actions. Naruto waited for him, chattering on about things that had happened at the wedding that Sasuke had barely noticed. Then despite all the sense and pride within him screaming at him to remain silence and just listen to Naruto’s long story about preventing Rock Lee getting into a fight with Kiba for a reason Sasuke had missed, Sasuke said it.

‘I wanted you to be inside me.’

Naruto’s voice immediately cut off. He stared to the side and Sasuke expected to be ignored and the subject to be changed exactly the same as earlier. But this time Naruto took both Sasuke’s hands in his and spoke in his most heartfelt voice.

‘You’ve changed my world, baby. The things we do together are like exactly the same as the things I’ve done with all my other lovers.’

Sasuke bit his lip and used all his composure to stop himself pulling away from Naruto’s touch.

‘But it’s always felt so different that it’s incomparable,’ Naruto continued. ‘Every time we kiss, every time we touch, it’s like the first time.’

The tension and anger in Sasuke sunk away as quickly as it had risen.

‘And I’m not like denying or ashamed of what I’ve done, because, yaknow, that’s how we met, or re-met, but it feels like I didn’t exist before you loved me and all the things that happened in the past happened to someone who looks like me and acts like me but wasn’t the me that got married today. Does that make any sense at all?’ Naruto’s cheeks were flushed. Drops of water dripped from his hair down his face so Sasuke couldn’t be certain, but his instincts told him tears had fallen from Naruto’s eyes and merged with the bathwater.

‘I understand. Perfectly. You have transformed my life and the person I am striving to be. And sex with you is nothing like anything I’ve experienced before.’ In a shyer tone he added, ‘There are more than a few times when you’ve made me feel like an ignorant teenage virgin.’

They both softly laughed.

‘Which is why it felt natural to me to mark our wedding day by doing something we haven’t done before. It wasn’t a spur of a moment decision, it is something I’ve been considering a lot. We are going to be together for all our lives, it is  unthinkable that we won’t both experience all of each other…and it is something that I wanted to give you on this uniquely special day.’  Sasuke caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. Mistake. His face was red and although he thought his voice had sounded composed, his expression was pleading and uncertain. With more effort than it usually took he set his face into nonchalance and turned away. He deliberately spoke sharply now. ‘Not that any of this matters. You don’t desire my gift, so I’ll buy you something else. Would you prefer a shopping or theatre trip?’

‘Hey!’ Naruto grabbed his arm as Sasuke tried to walk away. ‘You don’t get to do any of that icy Uchiha run away when you feel remotely vulnerable crap anymore! First lesson about being an Uzumaki when things get emotional you rise to the challenge and then some. Welcome to a lifetime of oversharing. Here let me demonstrate.’ He winked then boomed out as if Sasuke was on the other side of a field, ‘I am freaking so hellish scared of fucking you, sweetcheeks, that it makes my cock shrivel up!’

Sasuke widened his eyes. ‘Why would you be scared? It was your profession and you’ve shown that you’re a more than adequate lover in all other areas.’

Naruto laughed. ‘You’re not getting this. A second a go you’re telling me I make you feel like you’re an innocent never seen a cock schoolgirl virgin. You soooo don’t get to retreat, by calling me a _more than adequate lover_. You know I am way more to you than _more than adequate_! Own your passion for me, babes, or this is going to be the worse wedding night ever, ever, EVER.’ Naruto continued laughing.

‘If you are calling me out for my emotional cowardice, than don’t be so hypocritical as to be crying about loving me one moment and then laughing and joking the next. You use your loudness as a mask to cover your fears far more often than I use my coldness.’

This was a typical start to one of their arguments, but Naruto didn’t flare up, he let his smile slip and gave a nod of acknowledgement. He gazed down at Sasuke’s hands and squeezed them tightly.

‘You remember how I said I had to think about horrible things in those early days to stop myself leaping on you as I was so hot for you?’ Naruto’s voice flowed on without waiting for a reply. ‘And you know all about this like demon temper I had to work  so hard as a kid to lock up inside me? What you don’t know is that from the first moment I saw you until…right now in this very instance, I have to work just as hard keeping my demon lust from escaping.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘I mean.’ Naruto sighed heavily but raised his head and met Sasuke’s dark eyes. ‘I’m scared of raping you.’

‘What?’

‘I’ve topped tons of times for clients and yaknow friends, but I’ve never felt before like I felt when I first saw you. Without any conversation or anything, I wanted to bend you over, pull your pants down and fuck you. Hard. Not caring about whether you liked it or not. My body needing your body and just taking it. And I still feel like that. I glance you out of the side of my eyes, you’re doing something normal like cooking or reading, and the lust in me is almost impossible to contain.’

Sasuke spoke slowly. ‘Whatever you want to do to me you can. I’ve taken you roughly many times, it wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t accept you doing the same to me.’

Naruto shook his head. ‘You’re not listening, you don’t understand. Or, I guess I’m not explaining it properly. You’ve never fucked me roughly, not like what I am talking about. However intense our playing gets, I never lose control.’ He sighed again. ‘After that thing in the motel I tried to forget about you in my waking mind, but I got struck with this repeating dream continually playing out, where I’d tied up all those guys who you wanted to fuck me and was screwing you like mercilessly in front of them. And it made me wake up super hard a few times, but most times I woke up in a damp patch having shot my load in my sleep thinking of using you like that. And the bad thing is...I still get that dream even with you and I screwing ourselves dizzy in real life.’

‘A hate fuck? You want revenge for what almost happened. That makes sense. You were too forgiving of me and at a subconscious level you need to punish me. If that’d help you balance…’

Naruto threw his head back and roared. ‘No! That’s not it at all. It’s not like a roleplaying domination thing either before you start psychologising me about that! It’s me being a wild fucking animal who wants to mount and claim his mate and will use you and use you! I want to fuck you until your legs are shaking too much to stand, you don’t have enough oxygen in your lungs to speak, and your tight little hole is dripping with my spunk! And why the hell are you getting a hard on, pervert?’ He yanked away Sasuke’s towel that had been tenting above his groin.

Sasuke looked down at his own revealed erection. He licked his lips, his voice sounded so quiet next to Naruto's. ‘I thought of it as me giving you everything, a wedding gift. But now I know you’ve been holding back on me, I want it even more for myself. I want you to lose control with me.’

‘You don’t! I won’t be able to stop. If you say it hurts, if you change your mind, I won’t be able to stop! Do you get that? It’d ruin us both.’ Naruto’s blue eyes were frantic. ‘When you said it on the beach, it was so difficult, extra difficult with the drinking, not to pin you down and take you right then. You wanted to give me this romantic thing and I want to hump you like a dog.’

Sasuke reached out and pulled Naruto’s towel away from his lover’s body. ‘I don’t need candlelight and chocolates, I need you inside me.’  He pressed himself against his husband. ‘I trust you with far more than my body, Naruto. You have my very soul in your possession. Stop holding back, you can do whatever you desire to me.’

Naruto stood rigid, his only response a growl at the back of his throat. Sasuke’s breath caught, he tried to mentally reason with himself, he had to accept that this wasn’t going to happen, however much he might be turned on by Naruto saying he wanted to ‘claim his mate’, if his lover wasn’t comfortable than Sasuke needed to step back and not mar their first night together as husbands.

He caressed the scars on Naruto’s cheeks. ‘I’m sorry. This was the wrong time to bring this whole thing up. Can we go to bed? I’ll give you a foot massage and…’

Strong arms picked him up as if he was weightless and he found himself thrown over Naruto’s shoulder like a ragdoll. His heart thumped as Naruto carried him to the bedroom and tossed him face down onto the bed. He moved to turn over and share his excitement with his lover through passionate kisses, but firm hands were placed in the centre of his back keeping him in place.

‘Don’t move.’

Sasuke must have remained completely still for ten, twenty seconds, before Naruto was satisfied enough with his obedience to go to the bedside cabinet. Naruto threw lube down on the bed beside Sasuke, more unexpected  though, was the camera he pulled out from the back of the cupboard, throwing everything on the floor that were in the way. It was so long since Naruto had taken any photos of him. Without thinking he started to twist his body into a more seductive pose, but a low growl was all that was needed to tell him to stay as he was while Naruto stalked around him clicking. Until with only one hand he yanked Sasuke’s hips up, but kept Sasuke’s face pressed into the pillow. He took only one photo in this position, before pulling Sasuke’s hands and placing them on each of his butt cheeks. Another photo, then a grunted command.

‘Spread for me.’

He splayed his fingers and pulled his ass open for Naruto’s inspection. His breath came in short pants as he waited for Naruto to do something. He didn’t dare turn his head to look at his lover, Naruto definitely fell more into the category of a power bottom than a submissive lover, but this was the first time Sasuke had seen him quite like this. He was desperate not to do anything that would break the sexual electricity between them and fill Naruto with doubts about fucking Sasuke again.

Finally there were clicks of photos being taken, then the camera was discarded and Naruto was on the bed behind him.  Sasuke dug his fingers into his own skin, hoping he would be strong enough to do this. His body had never let him down before in any capacity, but he started to consider the thickness of Naruto’s cock in a way that made his heart thump even faster with a toxic mixture of nerves and excitement.

It was the warmth of Naruto’s mouth that explored him first, his lover’s tongue greedily lapping at him. Sasuke wanted to scream out for Naruto not to make him wait any longer, but all he could do was pant with pleasure and struggle not to come before Naruto was even inside him. Without thinking he moved his hands away from his own buttocks and clawed them into the sheets as he fought against the pleasure flooding his senses. Naruto didn’t seem to mind this movement though, his hands immediately replaced Sasuke’s, kneading deep into Sasuke’s flesh.

‘No one else is ever going to know how amazingly good you taste.’ A hand slapped his buttock with far more force than Naruto’s usual playful spanks. ‘Are they?’

‘No. Only you. I want only you,’ Sasuke breathed.

He _was_ the possessive one, Naruto hardly noticed, never cared, when Sasuke was being checked out, whereas Sasuke glared fire at anyone who paid Naruto what he judged was too much attention. He saw it as a weakness; he worked hard to overcome his natural jealousy with his natural logic that Naruto would never cheat on him. But was there some sort of osmosis between them, as he had softened, Naruto had caught his possessiveness? It wasn’t a question he pondered much as he was more concerned with the effect it was having on him, how incredibly turned on he was by this side of Naruto that wanted to own him.

Rough fingers alternated with Naruto’s hot tongue.

Sasuke bit the pillow and made a whining noise. ‘Please, Naruto, please. I want to come for the first time as your husband with your cock in me.’

 He couldn’t understand his own words, he could do little more than squeak let alone make a whole sentence, but his lover responded pulling away, pausing, then messily working the lube over both of them. Sasuke held his breath as Naruto worked fingers into Sasuke’s hole, scratching over the skin of his tender rosebud in a manner that should’ve hurt but instead had Sasuke arching his back and incoherently begging for Naruto’s cock before he spurted his load over the bedsheets.

After the calloused feel of Naruto’s fingers, the head of Naruto’s erection was a smooth caress. Sasuke had the strange image of the feeling of warm water on tired muscles after a hard workout. But it only lasted a brief moment as Naruto was pushing into him. No, he was gripping Sasuke’s hips and pulling Sasuke back onto him. Sasuke made a sound that he could only describe as a yelp.

Naruto must have thought the same as he chuckled and almost in his normal voice said, ‘You’re my little puppy dog tonight.’

But there was no slackening in the rate he was making Sasuke’s body swallow his thick cock.

Sasuke gulped. Before Naruto he had never been a generous lover, he had never needed to be as people lined up to be allowed into his bed, but the way Naruto was using his body felt beyond anything he’d ever done to anyone. It wasn’t just the physicality of Naruto using Sasuke as if he was a wankdoll, it was Naruto’s whole energy, the sheer animal confidence that Sasuke was his. Naruto had said he’d wanted to fuck and use Sasuke on their very first date, could it have worked them? Would it have missed out all the pain and delays if Naruto had just decided Sasuke was his then and there? Or was Sasuke only capable of submitting  in this way after they’d experienced so much together, had to rebuild their trust and rebond more than once but always ended up stronger than before?

He didn’t know. All he was aware of was Naruto’s hot body leaning over him, his chest fitting against Sasuke’s back, his mouth finding Sasuke’s ear.

‘You’ve taken me all. So quickly. You are hungry for me, aren’t you? I’m sorry I left you unfilled for so long. It won’t happen again.’

Then it began. The first stretching had been nothing. This was Naruto thrusting hard into him with the full power of his lust.

The way him and Naruto fucked, an expression of this connection between them which was at its purest and strongest when they were touching, Sasuke was used to time vanishing and an indescribable lightness of feeling removed from the rest of the world and all its heavy concerns. But this was entirely new. There were moments  when there was no disguising that it was an incredibly painful endurance test, his eyes pricked with tears, he had to grit his teeth to prevent himself crying out for Naruto to stop, and forced himself to squeeze his ass around Naruto’s cock despite the hurt just in the hope it’d make his lover come quicker. But then Naruto would change the position, sometimes something small, putting a hand on the wall, moving his leg at a different angle; sometimes something big, flipping onto his back and bouncing Sasuke up and down on him as if Sasuke had no control over what his own body did. And the tears flowing from Sasuke’s eyes were due to the overwhelming pleasure and he was incapable of stopping himself crying out begging Naruto never to stop. He came over his own stomach, his spunk shooting with enough force to hit his chest and even his neck.

‘Naruto. Naruto. Naruto,’ he gasped. ‘I love you so much.’

‘Bastard, you made me come with you! The way you gripped me when you came was too much.’ He pinched Sasuke’s nipple. ‘But don’t worry, honey, you know I’ve got stamina, I’m far from finished with you yet.’

Sasuke hoped the whimpering sound was only in his mind as Naruto lay him face down on the bed as he had been at the start, and placed himself in a press up position above Sasuke, his cock already demanding entrance again.

Was it too late to suggest a flip fuck? Yes. Naruto was in him and instead of Sasuke’s body being more prepared for it after the first round, his ass yelled out with a raw soreness. But still his hips rolled back into the heat of Naruto’s groin and he moaned with pleasure as Naruto's fingers dug into his hips and he brutally sodomised him.

Naruto changed position, half yanking Sasuke off the bed, standing with one leg on the floor and one on the bed. It seemed awkward, but Naruto knew what he was doing, somehow it gave him more leverage and he was pounding harder, pulling almost his whole length out before thrusting back in with what felt like increased force each time.

Sasuke made a sound that came from the depths of his stomach. Did it feel like this when he was the one thrusting into Naruto? This electric feeling of belonging to another person? Sasuke embraced the pain, it gave such a raw realness to the fact that the man he loved was forcing Sasuke's body to open and accommodate him. This animal roughness was as different to the bouncy smiling Naruto that everyone else saw, as the idea of Sasuke willingly submitting his body to such treatment would be unbelievable to colleagues who had known him for years. It was only with each other they could be completely whole and true . And within that safety and familiarity they could grow together and always be learning new things about themselves and what they were capable of.

Sasuke wept with the sheer joy and freedom of love. A hand whipped around his chest and tugged him up against Naruto's torso.

His lover's voice was a strained whisper in his ear. 'Now I've come once, it's easier, but not easy. I can stop if you need me to.'

'I'm _happy,_ idiot, I am so happy. Don't you dare stop. This is our wedding night and you better make it memorable.'

'That was your chance, baby. Now it's gone and I am going to fuck you properly.'

Naruto tongue-fucked Sasuke's ear with such ferocity that it was almost enough to make Sasuke come on it's own. Combined with the seductive smell of his lover, their bodies pressed together and the thick cock that was stretching him beyond his limits, Sasuke's mind went blank, he had no more thoughts, but just submitted completely to the ecstasy of having Naruto as his lover.

 

Later, much later, they lay beside each other, not touching on sweaty, sticky sheets, both staring up at the ceiling. Sasuke’s mind was telling him he needed to take a shower, his body was refusing to move. He’d come three times. He wasn’t sure how many times Naruto had orgasmed, the man could just keep pumping through it with barely a change in his breathing, but Sasuke’s thighs and ass cheeks were wet as if dozens of men had spunked inside him.

They were silent, which wasn’t unusual for Sasuke post or pre-coital, or at any other time of the day, but sleep was the only thing that was guaranteed to stop Naruto chatting. Naruto wasn’t snoring so he was probably still awake. Would this release of this part of his new husband’s sexuality, leak into his normal personality? Sasuke hadn’t thought of that. He should have, he knew how much Naruto had been scared as a kid that there was something evil and hateful in him that needed to be controlled, if the moronic yellowhead thought fucking Sasuke as he had was linked to his suppressed inner demon then…then what?

Then Sasuke needed to be extra loving and understanding. All his muscles ached as he manoeuvred his body closer to Naruto’s and found his man’s hand. He caressed his fingers over Naruto’s and after a long moment Naruto returned the gesture.

‘That was absolutely amazing, but if it took you places you didn’t want to go, then we don’t have to do it again,’ Sasuke said in his tenderest voice.

To his shock and indignation, Naruto’s reply was loud laughter. ‘What the hell are you talking about? It took me to being inside your sweet ass for the first time, why wouldn’t I want to do that again? And I know I rocked your world! My ego is hella bloated from the things you were yelling out.’

Sasuke’s cheeks reddened. What _had_ he yelled out? In his own mind he had been composed throughout. Or as composed as it was possible to be when the man you loved was pounding into your body as if you were all he wanted from the world.

Naruto gave an infuriating grin, which the idiot probably thought was affectionate. ‘I’ve laid down with some pretty desperate people, yaknow, but no one has ever begged for me like you did. I don’t know why I was so nervous about going near your dainty little butt, you are even hotter for me than I realised. Now I’ve seen this side of you, I’m not going to hold back again from doing what I want to you whenever I want to.’

‘Hnnnnn. Why are you lying there so quiet not touching me if you’re feeling so cocksure about yourself?’

 ‘Did _you_ just call _me_ cocksure?’ Naruto giggled like a kid.

Sasuke crossed his arms, uncertain if his boyfriend…no, husband…was so amused because of some internal joke about Sasuke saying he was ‘cock’ ‘sure’ after having just being fucked royally by the annoying man, or because he considered Sasuke was too arrogant to ever call anyone else out on it, or for some entirely different reason that only another cretin would understand.

‘Hey, don’t sulk.’ Naruto pulled Sasuke against his chest in an irresistible hug. Both of their bodies were still damp with sweat and come but neither of them cared. Secretly Sasuke liked it. ‘You’re my Mr Sasuke Uzumaki and I want to always be close to you and hold you, but I’ve let myself off the leash enough for tonight. I just needed to keep a little space between us, yaknow, just a couple of inches, I couldn't bear anymore, to settle myself down so I wouldn’t lose myself to the lust and fuck you again and ruin what was so totally awesome because it’s obvious  you really can’t take any more.’

Sasuke managed to stop himself showing surprise and perhaps a little dismay and a lot of excitement that Naruto still wasn’t satisfied and wanted more of him. Instead he gave a respectable snap back, ‘Bottoming is easy. If _you_ can continue, obviously I still can. It is topping that takes the skill, and as I love you I’m willing to let you practice on me. Don’t worry, as it’s been so long since you last topped I don’t expect you to show any aptitude at it for some time.’

Naruto’s eyebrows shot up in amusement more than annoyance. ‘What are you really going to go there? Pretending you think you’re better at sex than me? After what just happened between us? You want me to replay it for you.’ He put the back of his hand to his forehead and made an expression of hyper exaggerated awe and love. ‘ _Oh, Naruto, oh Naruto, you feel sooooo amazing. You are the best. I can’t believe how good this is. Please never stop. Your cock is so big. Fill me with your cream and make me scream!_ ’

‘I didn’t say any of that!’

Naruto laughed in his face.

‘I may have said some of it…in the heat of the moment. But I definitely didn’t say that last thing.’

‘ _Oh Naruto, I’m desperate for your hot spunk inside me. Tell me what to do, I want to make you happier than you’ve ever been before. I want you to own me. I don’t want to be able to walk tomorrow. You are…’_

In imitation of the gruff breathless voice Naruto used when being fucked, Sasuke spoke over the top of his husband. ‘ _Sasuke, you’re so deep inside me, no one’s ever been this deep before. Make it last forever. I want you forever just like this_.’

 

They bickered on, twisting their limbs tighter around each other even as they mimicked each other’s sexual talk. Until Naruto’s voice began to get slower and his words merged together, arguing seemingly fatigued him in a way that hardcore fucking didn't. Sasuke lay on his back and pulled Naruto with him, resting his new husband’s head on his chest, knowing that Naruto liked to listen to Sasuke’s heartbeat as he fell asleep.

‘Thank you, Sasuke,’ Naruto mumbled. ‘For knowing me. For trusting me. For loving me. For marrying me.’  He raised his head with his last burst of energy and gave his widest grin. ‘And for your ass too. That was all kinds of everything, you’re better than a dream. I hate you so much for being such a perfect bastard.’

Then his head flopped down and he was snoring within the minute.

Despite the physical exhaustion of his body, Sasuke stayed awake for a long time stroking his hand over Naruto’s cheek and through his hair. This was happiness, he didn’t deserve it, but somehow he had got it.

Mr Sasuke Uzumaki couldn’t erase his past, but he was no longer an Uchiha, no longer his father’s son. He was Naruto’s husband and the most important thing in his world wasn’t family honour, money, or being respected. He’d learnt in the hardest possible way that the only thing that mattered to him was the love of a good man, and he was loved by the very finest man.

‘I love you, Sunflower,’ he whispered, ‘I promise I’ll be my best for you.’

Then he too fell into a deep contented sleep, knowing that tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that and for every day for the rest of his life, he would be just as happy as he was right now.


End file.
